Why do girls like guys who treat them bad?

A topical a**hole.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Say we are talking about players. Players approach women, know how to talk to them and make them feel good about themselves. No woman thinks: "he has lots of girls, let me date him"... players are great at disguising their womanizing ways (in the beginning). Nice guys tend to be shyer, it's not that women don't want these guys, it's just that women have been conditioned not to make the first move - and the guys just don't create chance for themselves, I don't blame them, it's horrendous putting yourself up for rejection like that - but it's equally pointless to blame women.

    Also.. put it this way... you're a nice guy now... but if you were super confident and all the girls wanted you - would you resist it on principle? Would you shrug them off for one woman?

    The true test of a nice guy is a guy who can get the girls and chooses to be faithful. And these type of guys don't have to wonder why assholes get girls.

    • I think the only thing men really blame women for is actively choosing the a**holes over the decent guys. Most good guys make an effort and put themselves out there, but women seem to have this never-ending curiosity about the bad boys.

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    • Good Lord, this girl is spot on.

    • Men who are abusive are another category entirely. Then it has a lot to do with the girls' relationship with her father - as studies have shown abused women tend to subconsciously pick out abusive men. In terms of women going for physicality over personality - well, sure, there are tonnes of superficial women who do that... but you're trying to tell me that men don't?

What Girls Said 29

  • it's not necessarily that girls like guys who treat them bad, it's just that in some casses, some guys, they really know how to lure girls to thinking they are the sweetest most romantic people on earth, even after they have just done something really bad or hurtful. and the truth is... girls fall for it

    they just have a way of making themselves look innocent again, and again.

  • i don't like being treated so bad that it hurts my feelings.. but sometimes, I like wen he's kinda demanding or like tells me what to do like ( go make me a sandwich , go get me a beer...wanna suck my cock) LOL... because its just a attraction to him being a man. and I wanna do what he says and take care of him. I know my answer must b like.. weird.

    • Im talking bout like when a guy tells you to meet him at the movies at 12 at nite and he never shows up kinda asshole

  • Girls don't like assholes unless they don't have experience or they don't care.

    Generally guys who are assholes should ideally change to be non-assholes but in this world, there's good and bad people.

    The best way for girls who have a tendency to date the wrong people is to take a break and think about who they really want to date.

    Dating assholes suck and in the end, no one wants to date an asshole. Not all girls do this.

  • Hmm... a topical asshole... is that some kind of asshole cream that you rub on yourself?

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    • I'm not an asshole I just found it funny and felt like poking fun at it. :)

    • Hahaa I was kidding

  • We aren't all like that. The ones who are tend to be just worried they'll never find someone else who wants them so they settle. I personally think there are many more bad guys than good guys and the good ones are either taken or too shy or don't care about having a girlfriend.

    • Dude, you're looking in the wrong location. Out of probably 20 guys that I know more than acquaintance maybe about 4 of them are assholes.

    • Maybe high school is just a bad location then...or just my high school...

    • That's because the majority of high school males are testosterone ridden little sh*ts who have yet to take note of the phrase "grow a pair". Just like it seems as though the majority of females in high school are still looking for the most "gangsta", emo or jockish fellow to come along, and sweep them off their feet. Just don't expect to find a lot of good relationship material in a grade 10 class...or anywhere around there for that matter.

  • I definitely don't like to be treated like crap.

    Sometimes that douchebag attitude doesn't come out right away and we feel like he's a nice guy and a good guy. Then when his bad attitude does come out, we may not notice it, we may brush it off as him being in a bad mood, or we try to understand what's going on. Quite frankly, some girls just focus more on the positive than his negative aspects of his personality- even though you should focus on it ALL. So a girl may realize that he can be a jerk, but then think "well he can be soooooo sweet though!" or "He can be sooooo thoughtful." So they tend to forget how rude he can be.

  • It's kind of a Catch 22 situation actually.

    Girls like projects. Fixer-upers, if you will. Someone who will be inspired to reform for them.

    It's insane, I know. Yet, sadly, so deeply ingrained in society

    And I really hope you meant *typical a-hole...because topical a-hole is just very unpleasant sounding.

  • Not all of the girls like that. .

    the thing is boys are not bad on first date, after sometimes they show who they really are and sometimes it's too late to let them go because of feelings. So not all the girls choose to have a bad guy in their life. But that's a fact that some women like bad boys because they like challenges.

  • I'm a girl. & if a guy ever treated me bad I'd punch his throat.

  • good question because its true girls like a challenge they don't want a guy who they know will be there anyday and anytime because they well they will just take advantage of them

    • True, reliability is so overrated!

    • Thats cause they're f***ing stupid for your cock, money or something of value.

      a smart girl gets a man who knows will always be there, protect her & do anything for her(if he feels her problem is big enough for his attention)

    • Who needs loyalty and reliability when you can have a guy who could leave you or cheat on you at any moment? That's much more attractive.

  • because they know how to treat a girl how to compliment a girl and they give great sex. you can tell by the way they kiss you. the assholes have got it all.

  • no one likes to be treated bad that's forshure.

    but the reason why we stick around tho is because it drives us nuts that we can't have what we want. its the same reason why guys like a chase in a girl..

  • Girls are brought up thinking that if a boy hits you, he likes you.

    It makes no sense at all but it's what we grew up knowing

    • Lol I don't hit girls but I hit on girls is that the same? lolol

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    • Haha I think that if a guy leaves a girl on the side of the road for a couple of miles frm home might but a crush but I don't think that's okaii

    • It's not okay. I've glad you realize this ha

  • No, Why would you think any girl would? Nobody I've ever known likes that kind of guy.

  • Girls are used to guys trying super hard to get with them. So when they find someone that doesn't give them the time of day they're not used to it and that automatically makes it look like the guy is getting with smarter, better looking girls &they wanna feel like they compare so they'll fight for his attention

  • its not that we like men that treat us bad its just that being in love with that person its hard to let go. but wen you do let go we realize he wasn't the right one

    • Then why fall in love so easy. Most men wouldn't stick around if a girl treated them like crap

  • Because me personally I like some of my guys to be a jerk to me...Only because I think I can change them..And because my father is a jerk to my mother so growing up with that I think that, that's how guys are suppose to be.

    and ilk why but I really don't like the whole "lovey dovey" thing ALL the time...But that's just me=)

  • well,its like this when a guy treats a girl bad she thinks he don't like her but she wants him to like her so she keeps be in with them even though they are ass's,its confusing

  • Because most girls think they can change a guy.Or don't think they deserve better.

  • most of them don't like being treated like that ! you can't just have ur boyfriend treat you like you are a peice of meat and if I had a boyfriend like that I wood udmp his a$$

  • bad boys, have this thing about them that they make us attach onto them and then its hard to leave them!

  • I never understood that but now I do! I personally think it's because as women we are always trying to prove ourselves to people.. it's sad really.. we always want to be pretty enough because society tells us that our value depends on our appearance... and when a guy treats us like we are the best and then the next second they treat us like we either don't exist or treat us like crap, we feel like we have to prove that we are good enough to have them!

    • I understand what your saying but its jus sad to see a girl live up to what other people say. You are who you are and shouldnt let anyone change who you are. That's what I think.

  • for some reason I REALLY like that too. it makes me think of them more. I don't typically like the sweet sensitive guy, but there's exepsions, sometimes I like the nice ones. BUT for me if your an ass hole nd not great looking it doesn't work, I like hott ass holes! its weird but I can show more of my peronality with them too, like playing around nd be mean too eachothr.

    idk if you understand. but an example for me is like hyde from that 70s show! the perfect asshole/nice guy! <3

    • Lol I love that show <33

  • girls like guys like that usually because they like the way they look and always look at it as if she can can see the side of him that no one else gets to see. also, when girls don't feel wanted, it makes them wanted more.

    • BUt that sounds so stupid =/ like I understand not to be so clingy to a girl but not to make her feel wanted feels so heartless

    • I agree haha but its like you always want what you can't have

  • I DON'T


  • No offense intended, but usually girls with the right ideas about how men should behave will not tolerate bad boys as partners, or tolerate bad behavior.

    Girls who let guys mess with their minds in this manner usually have some deep-seated issue of some sort, even if they are like perfect in every other way.

    • So that would mean most girls have some sort of deep-seated issue.

  • we don't.

    usually in situations of verbal abuse, it's because the girl has very low self confidence. she feels she deserves better, but won't leave the guy because she's afraid no one else will want her. it's sad


What Guys Said 8

  • In my experience with girls that "seem" to gravitate to guys that treat them badly, is mostly because at some point in their childhood they dealt with a sh*tty father figure who treated her badly or her mother badly. It's what they know and stick to. God forbid they get with a guy that treats them good. They are always too afraid to have a good thing because they never think it will last or is too good to be true.

  • They don't. Many women like a challenge, and prefer a guy that will give them one. Some even prefer a 'fixer-upper' But nobody truly wants someone that will be an (_o_) Any time you see someone with such a person, it is because that (_o_) didn't act as such to begin with. They allowed the other person to become attracted to an enamored with the fascade they put on, then allow their true self to come out. At which point the other person has a hard time believing that is them, and letting them go. They make excuses for them, because they are under the impression who they pretended to be in the first place is who they really are. Quite sad.

    • So if the guy punches his girlfriend in the face should that girl still make excuses for him? I don't think so.

    • There are plenty of women that stay in abusive relationships, and make excuses for the boys that beat them. I never said it was a good thing, but it happens.

  • Sometimes those girls have psychological issues. They could be "controlled" by their boyfriend through manipulative and harmful words. And sometimes they can feel trapped, or even too scared to leave them for fear of what they might do.

  • i think cause they want to change that guy into the better looking guy who they manicured into what they want when the nice guy in most cases isn't as good looking...its a lost cause and as a result most women hate men and think were all jerks. if anyone wants could you check out and answer my latest question as it is kinda similar

  • Girls do not date guys for who they are, only by the way they act... It's a sad and pathetic truth that they all deny

  • Because assholes know how to mess with girls emotions they know how to get in a girls head, confuse them and drive them crazy.

  • Not sure that aholes are what women are attracted to as much as guys who are cocky/leaderish/confident/alpha-like. Basically non-wussy like. Not that women are always weak, but if a woman is actually attracted to wuss behavior, then she is suspect of not being hetero in my book. Mostly, a woman's DNA wants a man to be dominant in the relationship regardless of what women might say about equality. Women's attraction to a man is NOT a choice on their part. It's a deeply ingrained dna nature-thing. It's just the way God made them. (Not calling anyone a wuss here, just pointing out my own observation of women's nature).

    • Sort of like what lonelysadguy alluded to in the comment below this one.