Tinder guy suddenly stopped texting me?

[ladyly]

I met this guy on Tinder who seemed really keen on getting to know me as a person rather than just hooking up with me. We were texting consistently for the past 5 days. I would reply hours later due to studying for exams and he would reply instantly, so I know I wasn't being clingy.
Then on Thursday he suddenly stopped talking to me. Here is our conversation up until then. Can you tell me if I said or did something wrong?

Me: Are you Persian or Italian by the way?
Him: Persian. Every Persian wishes to be Italian though, so I take that as a compliment :)
Me: Lmao, but don't Persians excel in tae kwon do, soccer, wearing cologne, and getting 4.5 GPAs?
And Italians are pretty bomb. I'm studying abroad in Florence in the fall.
Him: LOL where did you get that stereotype from? *laughing face* And Wow, Firenze is Dope !
Me:Sorry, sorry, excuse my political incorrectness. The only Persians I knew about before coming to America (I'm foreign) were those of Cyrus the Great's Achaemenid Dynasty. So I googled Persian and thats what came up. This Persian guy told me it was accurate.
Him: Hahahaha. To be honest, we haven't come too far since then lol
Me: Lmao! I'll have to see that for myself. You still haven't told me what you want to do (for our date). I have ideas beyond movie and dinner, but I trust your judgment more since you're from LA

And this was three days ago, and he hasn't replied. He usually gets back to me within an hour, and he was so enthusiastic about wanting to see me soon!
Did I mess everything up?

[lightbulb27]

So this whole online texting thing is so difficult (bad) because it is so easy to mis communicate. I went to a match making svc recently that said "DO NOT TEXT AT ALL". I do text, but I'll give graces to people. I've botched some texts so I know how to botch them:) really, use the voice thingy to talk IMHO:)

I think you did a fantastic job though, it was fun and playful and flirty. you asked questions and you asked him about the date what he wanted to do (good for a girl, bad for a guy to ask since the guy should lead). The way you asked may have applied pressure to him and it could have been phrased better. Notice he asked nothing about you, you are the aggressor... that isn't a great sign, but I dont' fault you... but do you see that? He expressed no interest in you at all... so I'm missing a lot of context.

But... gotta give people some slack... I do. He may have taken that as "I don't know what to do, so I have to think about it, got busy and never replied, or he won't be in your area after all his plans changed, or he isn't interested, he has other girls he's tindering (guarnateed right) that are willing to hookup so you got bumped, or he isn't honest". I can't tell... its tinder... which I have not used yet.

Rephrase your question next time.. the way you said it... which conveyed the energy of the conversation came across as needy and demanding... not that it is horrible, just toning it different may help next time: "I've enjoyed our chats I think we'll have fun together, we should meet sometime. Let me know if you want to meetup and what you'd like to do". Fill... in what you want to guide him towards dinner, etc.. You can always say, lets go Dutch so he doesn't feel like he's being used and you don't have expectations of anything you have to give. your call..

Is there a day for the date set? There must be more I don't see...
Movie is a terrible date IMHO... don't get to know each other, stair at screen, awkward hold hands when don't know them. If don't like them.. even more awkard. dinner is fine.

[ladyly]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it, and I can understand how I may have come across as needy or desperate. But do you think one text could've ruined everything we had?
He did express interest in me. This was the conversation above the one I posted, and on the same day:

Him: Just wanted to wish you good luck today on your anatomy test and the rest of your finals. Regardless of what grade you get I can tell you're a smart girl who will succeed in anything. Hope to celebrate soon. :)
Me: Ahh, smiling so hard right now. Thank you David!

Then I said we should go somewhere we can dance and turn up, and he said yeah! But he said not tonight because he has dinner, and offered to go tomorrow. But I said I can't tomorrow because I had to work and organize my dorm. So he said its fine, and that we can always meet up later if this weekend is too busy. Then that's how we got into the Persian thing.

[lightbulb27]

I don't think you botched it. you can always reach out and say... doing ok Mr., lets go dance! he's very complementary but not escalating. It is almost out of kilter like you are the aggressor and he is passive and hard to get. he may be playing that game... I cannot tell...

Does it feel that way to you? I would still go out with you (if I were he) because Id be interested in you from what you wrote. but I'd try and turn down the needyness... cause I've had a gals like that and it was a turnoff... and I shy away if I sense that.

Keep the image in mind of fishing. one person is fishing and the other is the fish... in this case, the fish wants to be caught (you). There has to be the right bait and technique, and you keep a tension. make some play. nobody just wants to pull afish in the boat easy, you want it to be some challenge, fun, play.

why are you coming across so needy/elated? To me it gives a mixed signal... you say not hookup, but it leads that impression.

[orphan]

that's pretty much how communication looks w/ all my tinder matches.

the ones i'm truly interested in i ask out immediately.

[Darkfairie17]

I don't think you did anything wrong. Sounds like he was enjoying the conversation. The only thing I can think of is that he possibly met someone else.

Dating moves quickly now a days. One minute you are talking about your favourite foods and bonding over favorite recipes or netflix shows, then all of a sudden their Tinder profile is gone and they seem to have re-located to mars and have no reception!

I think this is simply a case of him possibly having been talking to other people at the same time and just decided things were more serious with that other person.

I would try to move on a bit from him. Talk to some new guys and hopefully you will have better luck next time!

It is also possible that he is just busy for 3 days, and hasn't had time to message you back. Though that does seem odd.

Try not to take this personally (though I know it's hard when you think you have a great connection with someone!).

[Darkfairie17]

Thanks and good luck!!

[anongirl15]

He might not want to go on what date with you? or he might be speaking to someone else, and he might like her, or he might have very important things to do e. g like family problems or work to do.