I've seen this so many times and it's funny to me that guys just don't see this double standard. Women being sad because they complain about bad boys (even if it's a small percentage), but guys not being sad because they drool and follow all the 'mean girls' around hoping they'll get a significant look from them or a peek at her breasts or something... BUT - they don't notice the good girls... only the mean ones.
Why is this, then? Why are guys like this blind to their own issues, but criticise everyone else?
Because they don't see it that way. They think that's a normal lifestyle.
Because they don't want to admit it to themselves.
Because they like feeling like crap about themselves because they love complaining.
Because they genuinely don't see it.
Because they think they can get sex easier with a mean girl?
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+1 y
These are self proclaimed 'nice guys' complaining no one wants them, but actually speaking about the mean girls who they constantly chase...
Why is it some guys always complain about women only wanting bad guys, when they stick around the 'mean girls' just because they're hot?
Because quite honestly a lot of women do go after that kind of guy. That said the other issue is that quite girls are quite, they go unnoticed while the bitchy girls are much louder (literally and metaphoricly) and thus are much more noticable. The fact is this wouldn't be a near universal idea if it didn't have some element of truth to it. Women like assholes, and the reason is because of a confusion (and in my opinion a distorted) of masculine characteristics. For instance he seems assertive when in fact he is aggressive, he seems confident when in fact he is disconnected (ie fear of intimacy) etc etc. They are almost a overcompensation of characteristics that look similar to good masculine characteristics and I think in our society we hamstring a lot of guys with social conditioning that convinces them not to show these traits (at least overtly) so when the asshole does he, like the mean girl stands out. The problem is women flock to these guys and talk about how they like them and complain constantly about the nice guy (you even did it in your question) thus further solidifying the notion that women only want assholes. So since women (in general) is either talking about likeing the "assertive guy"(but describing the asshole) or bad mouthing the nice guy (thus holding up the asshole by proxy) you have a situation where every guy is convinced that women only want the asshole. Look at your question and tell me if it expresses any positive sentiment towards nice guys? Not really. Thus you have just reinforced the notion. As I said the issue is one, nice girls tend to be quiter and thus tend to blend in with the background or seem completely disinterested, two, women really do like the asshole (for above expressed reasons) three, no one speaks well of the nice guy thus proving point two (in the minds of the nice guy), four, the mean girl is more out their and vocal and more likely to interact with some one then the nice girl resulting in her being more likely to be viewed as a possible partner simply because she is more visible (figuratively speaking) thus creating a type of tunnel vision. Now does this happen in reverse sure, however I see it more with the player types ie the guys who go around trying to get laid then lament about how all women are sluts. Yes their is elements of this in dating as well for both genders but as I pointed out a lot of it has to do with the behavior of women.
I have to agree with you on this one. Actually i dont really agree with all options. They just put hot girls who are mean on a pedestal. And they complain that women dont want nice guys. I think this is just pathetic. I think they should just man the fuck up. Complaining won't get them ANY girls. Instead they should open their eyes to the nice sweet girls who actually do give them attention. But i guess a lot if them would rather keep complaining... Smh
I've wondered about this. Both genders are guilty of this, but I feel a lot of guys won't admit this. I've known plenty of guys who date a hot girl, even if she treats him like crap. One guy I know is off and on with one of them. She hits him and insults him. She expects him to buy her things. He eventually gets fed up and dumps her, and then she begs him to take her back, and he always does. People always ask him why, and he says because he is in love with her.
Because people live in la la world! They think love will just happen like magic. He/she gonna be perfect! But that's not true at all! It's kinda of like fairy tales we know it's not true but that doesn't stop us from dreaming.
The issue is that they even think that there's such a thing as a "bad boy" and "nice guy"; and that there's a "mean girl" or a "good girl".
There's no such thing, these are just stereotypes. Anyone who degrades other people to such a simple binary categorization shouldn't be too surprised that their social relations aren't working out for them.
They seem to lack basic understanding of the other people's human behavior. No wonder they can't get to know them. You'd need to get off the sexist bandwagon and grow some empathy for that, but that's not innate unless you learn to throw away mass generalizations.
Anyways,, I voted E) because girls who look slutty tend to be perceived as slutty, and sluttiness equals simpler means of getting them to bed.
I see this argument all too often about how nice guys aren't really nice or they only chase after super hot girls who are total bitches and that's why they are always complaining about being single.
The reality is even the girls who are considered "nice" seem to have some sort of polar opposite attraction for the bad boy. So even when nice guys follow logic of nice guy with nice girl he finds the nice girl is swooning over some guy that's bad news.
The difference here is that girls want the bad boys for relationships, we just want the mean girls for sex. That's the huge difference. We won't get our feelings hurt cause we're just gonna fuck them, that's it.
@Azara I talk by experience, and it seems at least 11 guys agree with, and that's not counting those that agree but didn't vote, and also taking into account that it's the Internet. So it doesn't seem I'm too far off.
My point is you speak from experience I speak from experience 11. Guys on here speak from existence billions of other people speak from experience bc we all have experience. Boy experience does not make anyone if us expert on any subject. You may experience certain behavior with women and men. I have different experience. This does not mean that either of us is an expert in how all people function.
@Azara True, but I never claimed I was an expert, though if so many people agree with what I said, there must be some truth, right? I never claimed this applies to every guy/girl anyways.
I have never been interested in what you call mean girls. I went through my teens and 20s almost unable to get a date, because all the females with whom I came into contact wanted players and sociopathic bad boys. My rejection rate was about 99/1, perhaps worse. I grew tired of being told that I was too nice, or too intelligent, or too educated. Occasionally I was told that I was too good looking. (shrugs) With young women, it apparently pays to be an uneducated retard from welfare housing who looks as though he sleeps in the park, or belongs on a wanted poster. That changes about age 30, when these females have an epiphany and realise that the players and bad boys are not husband material. Then the females look around and begin to ask what happened to all the good men. The good men, or at least a significant number of them, have given up and walked away by that time.
One way of putting it is that these guys are taking what they can get because they see all the nice girls as hung up on some other asshole and are hearing complaints all the time. Even if they are choosing to go after the "mean girl", are these girls actually mean? They aren't complaining about the mean girl, they're complaining about the girls they want going after mean guys. Doesn't seem exactly mirrored. And I kinda doubt a nice guy would ignore a nice girl who actually made a move to get his attention.
the difference though is that the mean girl is wanted only for sex. The bad boy is wanted for a serious relationship
A guy isn't gonna chase a mean girl for a LTR, unless he's one of those guys who worships the wetness of her pussy, which would be dry as a desert for someone like him
Still though, this was a nice observation. My first reaction was to find a defense since you ARE talking about my gender here (even though this will never apply to me), but you do have a point here
Imbalanced relationships based on intense sex or shallow sex appeal are usually a manifestation of very deep issues people deal with that get in the way of real intimacy. I don't know why collecting opinion polls about it makes any sense. I think the only way you overcome the cheap intimacy rat race is by working on yourself and realizing that the only person for you is someone who truly understands you. Than you can just kind of smirk at these kind of statements.
It's more because guys don't always say that they are looking for a nice girl, while girls are always saying they want a guy that treats them right. It's not so much about a standard as guys expecting girls to back up what they say with their actions.
In my question - these are 'nice guys' complaining no one wants them, but actually speaking about the mean girls who they constantly chase and are getting rejected...
I would field the guess that the women they are pining for are the type they want a relationship with, and they are around the "mean girls" just for easy sex, knowing that they don't have to worry how toxic she is as a person, because he won't stick around to deal with her.
But that's just my guess. I am not the type of guy who has ever had much patience for douchy guys, mean girls, or non-committal casual sex, so I can't speak on this first hand.
I think girls are more looks oriented than guys. The whole bad boy or mean girl doesn't mean shit. It's just that there are lot of good looking people among bad boys and mean girls. But here's the thing though. There are many guys who are open to dating good girls that aren't good looking than girls open to dating good guys that aren't good looking. Unless the guys are rich.
Yeah, I hear this A LOT. It comes mostly from the US people on this site... Seems like a really sad country to live in when it comes to a love life. Maybe I'm wrong, but if it all revolves around money - then it is sad.
I've noticed it with some guys. But I still don't think it's nearly as common as girls going for bad guys, yeah. Most guys do not like "bitches" and will even avoid the "pretty" ones with big egos. Women hanging with bad boys is usually related to her poor self-esteem and poor sense of self-worth. I can't say a guy hanging out with a mean girl is experiencing the same inner turmoil. So for any guys who like them, it's probably just a thrill for them.
I think this is spot on, especially in high school/early college settings. These so-called "nice guys" are often very shallow themselves and put a pretty girl on a pedestal even if they know nothing about her.
I think a lot of the nice girls fuck around too, they are just better at hiding it. Its not like mean bitchy girls are the only ones who hook up with badboys, the nice girls fall for them too.
Its not about nice vs jerk tho. Its all about looks and excitement. The badboys are typically better looking and more exciting.
The big difference here is that girls see a bad boy and say to themselves "I can change him and I can make him a respectable man and a good husband" then they get pissed when they fail. Guys look at mean girls totally different. Listen to themselves I bet she's a lot of fun in the sack and that's all I really want out of her. And when it all blows up in their face they say to themselves I only have myself to blame.
Guys who do that are either hypocrites or just want sex. When it comes to relationships most guys want nothing to do with a mean girl unless they only care about sex. A lot of girls however think bad boys are relationship material when they clearly aren't.
The problem is that some people just make the same mistake over and over and over again. It comes to a point where you question people sometimes, but people can't control who they're attracted to. Some girls really lust over bad guys and some guys really lust over mean bitchy girls. Most people outgrow it at some point.
Because for us, looks are primary and personality is secondary. If a girl is attractive, we will put up with a lot of crap from a bad personality.
Contrary, girls find personality primary and looks secondary. If a guy has game and knows how to mentally fuck a girl, she will put up with a lot of crap to keep the excitement.
It's very simple. It's a blind double standard. They just won't admit it to themselves that they in reality often expect to get , that that they wouldn't give
The update: These are self proclaimed 'nice guys' complaining no one wants them, but actually speaking about the mean girls who they constantly chase...
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