What makes a girl wife material?

[06CuriousMind]

This question was asked earlier but it went in a different direction. Now I'm curious. What makes you guys think "Hey, I think i could see myself settling down for her"?

[hellionthesage]

Loyalty first and foremost, then kind and generous help also being feminine (honestly a girl who tells me she is independent and can do everything herself is telling me she doesn't need me in which case why would I be there. Men need to be needed (long explanation but its biology/social)) She wants me needs me. Compatibility as well (a bit hard to find I am both a nerd and I would say a bit on the cerebral side so I would need some one who can play board/video games but also talk philosophy/science with. Also an introvert so she would have to be able to respect the fact that I need time to myself (and doesn't mind me paceing all the time (it helps me think)) so compatibility with my interest understanding that I will want time to myself and will also want time with my friends, ideological similarites (I have massive issues with many different schools of thought so she would have to be able to accept that prefferablly agree with a few of them and also be open minded in general) etc. If I can find a woman like that she would definitily be wife material, well would be for the short duration of time before I married her.

[Darkfairie17]

Just because a woman is independent doesn't mean she needs you. I've been in the position many times I needed to do things for myself otherwise I would be out on the street or they wouldn't get done. Most people now a days have to work, it's not possible to stay home. And I had to take a higher level job. So how do I make a guy feel needed? I needed to get a good job so I could survive lol. But I also want a partner, I'm not someone who tells a guy upfront I don't need him. But I do my best to try and survive, it's about survival.

[Darkfairie17]

*doesn't mean she doesn't need you (that's what I meant to type)

[cyndyrene]

@Darkfairie17 right. Independence is both ways. As an able body person you should be able to take care of your self. Period. Man or women. One person leaning on another financially leads to imbalance within a relationship. It's men egos that makes this concept so difficult. I'm just looking for a best friend and someone who is on my level accross the board. Das it.

[Darkfairie17]

@cyndyrene I totally agree! It's pretty unreasonable to think that one partner needs to stay at home all day. Most of the time now a days both people have to work. Women have to be somewhat independent, and being independent and able to fend for themselves in the world shouldn't be seen as a liability in relationships. If anything, it's an asset. Unfortunately, things happen. I would want to rest assured my partner wasn't going to be put out on the street if something happened to me. I would hope they would feel the same!

[hellionthesage]

@Darkfairie17 That isn't what I was reffering to. If you can do it all, you don't need him, if you don't need him to support you (there are otherways other then financial) you don't need him etc. The fact is if you are not depending on him then you don't need him. Its biology as well as social. In society womens value is inherint a mans is not. Women are biologicly more necessary for survival then men. If you have ten men and ten women and nine men die you can still have a total of nine offspring, if however the reverse happens and nine women die, you can have only one no matter how many men their are. This means that a man is easily replaced. So a man needs to prove himself and needs to be needed to validate his importance to society and to his woman. If she does not need him he has no value he can be replaced. This is what I was reffering to.

[hellionthesage]

@cyndyrene ego? How is it ego? The fact is if he is not doing things for you you will resent him, this is a fact you are biologicly wired for it. Studies show that women who are the primary bread winners in a relationship are less happy, they complain that he isn't donig more, basicly she wants some one who will care for her. The fact is we are biologicly driven to these outcomes. I guarentee you that if you got what you where looking for you would not be happy because it wouldn't be a romantic relationship it would be a platonic friendship. Are you persuing him? Are you paying half the tab, are you paying the same amount as he is for everything? Are you planning as much as he is (for dates and such) are you initiating sex as much as he is? Are you doing everything exactly the same as he is? No. That has never happened and likely never will because no woman would tolerate that.(studies show this). Men and women are different and this needs to be acknowledged.

[Darkfairie17]

I see what you mean. I didn't mean to attack, but just offer a different perspective. I feel like a lot of women who have jobs and are working hard towards goals often get overlooked. I just wanted to offer a counter. If someone is pushing you away and acting as if they don't need you at all, then I can totally see how that would turn someone off. We all need to feel needed. I know I personally will drop a guy if he acts as if he doesn't want or need me around. I do want to feel needed in some sense. Not the moochy type needed. But the type of needed where he wants me there emotionally, mentally and physically. Support each other in life.

[TadCurious]

1. She treats other people well.
2. She knows how to interact with kids.
3. She would be steady in a storm ('cause life always has challenges) and she wouldn't freak out if there were a tornado warning or a bug in the bathtub
4. She has a sense of humor
5. She likes dogs
6. She's knowledgeable about at least a few things and generally knows what's going on in the world
7. She likes dogs (did I already say that? lol)

[06CuriousMind]

haha Thats a good list you got there!

[Anonymous]

I feel like I have a lot of these qualities. Yet I'm still single :(

But thanks for asking this question. I've been reading things on how I can improve. But there is honestly only so much you can do as a person.

I think expectations should be realistic. People can't expect a woman to be a model/video game expert with a masters degree in physics.

For the most part, most of these are. I just hope it's what the guys truly are looking for. Often times I'll be told by guys they want a woman who is kind, sweet, and caring. But they go for women who are the complete opposite. I find that kind of discouraging. Because I have many friends who treat their partners like crap, yet they are married and I am single and can't get a date :/

[jameswoodell201]

Your kind compassionate, forgiving, your generous, wouldn't chest, aren't a golddigger?

[Jxpxtxr]

She should have a good sense of humour, be intellectual and determined/ambitious to reach what she wants in life, confident and affectionate and of course cultivated, I value that last one especially as it seems so rare these days - I just want someone who's on the same level with me, a soulmate. She should be my lover and best friend at the same time, someone who stands by my side when I'm right and when I'm wrong. Someone who appreciates the eccentric I am and someone who I can be myself with without being afraid of her judging me.
And of course she has to get along with my pet dog 🐾

I know this question was aimed at guys but I thoughts as a bisexual I could answer it anyways.

[jesshkah]

I just want to say I'm glad you took it back in a nicer direction.

As for my opinion on this, I think that for the most part someone who is wifey material is more or less someone who just has her shit together. All the other factors such as knowing how to cook or whatever and even being a mother, are completely dependent on what the guy or girl is looking for in their wife. If they don't want kids, they don't need someone who's going to be a good mother for example.

[Anonymous]

Apart from the obvious things which everyone else here will tell you, there are also three three little things you can do which a lot of women overlook, but will endear you too your man

1. Don't talk too much.
2. Make him a sandwich once in a while.
3. Suck his cock

[MrOracle]

in my opinion, it's a girl who is a TRUE *partner* in the relationship - who pulls her own weight and contributes positively to the relationship.

I see a lot of relationships where one person (and I've definitely seen examples of either gender) does most or all of the work, and the other just uses them for financial or emotional support and makes very little effort about anything.

A girl who is "wife material" isn't thinking "me me me", she's thinking "we we we". She puts the needs of the TEAM (i. e., the couple) ahead of her individual needs and desires, at least most of the time. She has reasonable expectations, isn't constantly offended or upset, is emotionally stable, financially responsible, and has some ambition and a good work ethic. And, it goes without saying, is sexually compatible with the guy.

I know this doesn't SOUND like it's a difficult list of things to find in a girl, but you'd be surprised.

[Sara413]

I think everything you said goes for both genders (and I know that is how you meant it too and that your answer wasn't one sided just using female pronouns in response to the question).

[MrOracle]

@Sara413 Absolutely it applies to both genders!

[thecd1979]

I think everyone will say a great personality and easy to talk to etc. However, the things that should make someone wife material is someone that is going to have your back that you can count on. Someone who is responsible financially and when she says she is going to do something follows through on her promises. Someone that knows how to cook, clean and take care of things around the house. It needs to be someone that is going to step up to the plate and share responsibilities, not someone thats going to make excuses and shirk their way out of them. These are the things that are going to really matter in the long run and the qualities that you want to look for in a potential spouse. I know this from experience.

[girlinthemirror]

cool.. she needs to earn good money and at the same time, cook, clean and take care of house... if she is making money, u need to do those things, if she do those things u need to provide financial support to her

[raio81597]

Values, character, how she treats others and herself to be more specific. Does she respect and actually like men, is she appreciative, and grateful... things like that of her personality make me go yeah she's marriage material. If the positives outweigh the negative, then I'm comfortable moving in that direction with a girl, however if the negatives start to outweigh the positive I'm going to inquire about it and make it known it's not attractive and I'm losing interest, I won't wait and lead her on.

[Anonymous]

Wife material:

1. Is not an attention whore (on social media and needing to take pictures everyday)

2. Is not a slut

3. Has not cheated on past relationships

4. Knows how to cook/clean

5. Can support herself

6. Is not a feminist

7. Is kind/caring/supportive

8. Is not a psycho/crazy

9. Is a good person to everyone (not those fake ass good people u see on social media who act like total bitches to everyone).

10. Takes care of her appearance

11. Loves sex and initiates/Is a freak in sheets for her man

12. Is adventurous, plans out dates

13. Is not friends with sluts

14. Is not prone to jealousy

15. Does not have a drinking/smoking/drug use problem

16. Goes to the gym

17. Can hold a conversation/intelligent enough to have a reasonable discourse with.

18. Worships Satan.

[AleDeEurope]

She wants the same as I do in the future, meaning kids and settling down together forever.
She's loyal. Very smart. Goofy, but not to the point where it's annoying. Witty. Knows when to have fun and when to be serious. Very mature.
Independent, strong, ambitious, loving, adorable, family oriented, selfless, knows her priorities. Open minded, tolerant, not afraid to speak her mind.
Adventurous, knows how to have fun and knows how to balance work with life outside of work. Curious.
Happy.

[cyndyrene]

Jesus.

[AleDeEurope]

@cyndyrene Nah, I like women, you can keep Jesus... XD

[Anonymous]

I like the old fashioned idea of what a woman should be, that often is now viewed as sexist or outdated. While a woman doesn't need to be a stepford wife, that basically does sum of the kinds of traits that make me admire a woman, and want to dedicate myself to making her happy in return. Things like her career, having a friends with benefits in the past, or being able to out swear a sailor don't win her any points.

[06CuriousMind]

so you want her to just stay at home? lol and do what?

[Opinion Owner]

That is sort of like if a woman where to say that she likes a career oriented man, and someone responded, "so you want him to just leave the house. lol and do what?" There is far more to a relationship than staying at home, or working.

She doesn't need to stay at home, but I make my own money so her money just doesn't add value to my life. The things that add value to my life are the things stay at home wives are known for. Who doesn't prefer to come home after a hard day at work, and have a nice home made dinner ready, as oppose to grabbing some takeout, or heating up a TV dinner? I stress out enough at work, I like to know I won't have to worry about the house when I get home as well.

[06CuriousMind]

I completely understand that. But hey the more money the better right? And its definitely possible to accomplish all of that. Although I dont have a real job im wairessing and going to school now. I still manage to make a homecooked meal for my family for every meal. I don't know i see your point, but i think its possible to do it all.

[Opinion Owner]

Doing it all and having kids will run you into the ground. There simply isn't enough hours in the day. Especially as you get older, and have a little less energy every year.

[06CuriousMind]

Alright fair enough. I plan on being a nurse so the hours will most likely be lenient the older I get. I do agree that there are certain jobs for the male vs female. Like the male should do yard work and stuff while the female should clean do laundry cook etc.

[RasmusAiken]

Basically it's a girl who obviously has her life in balance. She manages her resources well (time, money and talent), she has committed to goals and she has experienced some success.
You can have the perfect boobs and butt and a pretty face but it you don't have balance in your life I'm not interested.

[Anonymous]

Guys have unrealistic expectations of women

They expect her to be smart, have the body of a porn star and the face of a high fashion model

They expect her to be a virgin

[HGStebbins]

This is a gross generalization. One that can easily be turned right around. I would be willing to wager that most men feel women have unrealistic expectations of men. As far as what men really want, this list is probably more accurate for a majority of men.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27719-as-a-single-male-i-believe-these-ten-traits-are-the-backbone-to-a

[AleDeEurope]

"They expect her to be smart" so that excludes you ;P

[Opinion Owner]

@AleDeEurope that excludes you

[Opinion Owner]

@AleDeEurope Instead of trying to insult me like a immature child, why don't you come up with an actual valid argument other than showing how lame and butthurt you truly are?

[06CuriousMind]

I think he was just kidding lol

[AleDeEurope]

@asker I was XD But given her response, maybe I wasn't wrong hahahah

[Opinion Owner]

@AleDeEurope stop hijacking my post

[AleDeEurope]

Hijacking? Why you think I'm a terrorist? That's racist -_-
XD

[Opinion Owner]

@AleDeEurope lol ha ha

[OlderAndWiser]

Many months ago, I wrote a myTake that addressed this question:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10762-who-should-you-marry

Please read it and leave a comment. I always appreciate feedback.

[lightbulb27]

Easy to get along with and talk with
Fun to be around and low stress
even under stressful times, we can roll with it without much effort.
i find her attractive (and that doesn't mean perfect).
The passion is there as well as compatibility
She respects me for what I have to offer

She gets nice ring not too long after I see that.

[worldscolide]

i Married my wife because she did the following.
- She never lied to me
- She treated me with respect
- She never once asked me to change
- She respects my choice to completely avoid religion
- She likes when i teach her stuff, like cooking
- She is in to retro games as much as i am
- She treats me as well as i treat her.

[cth96190]

1. Not a feminist.
2. Of the same race as myself and good genetic material (no genetic defects or diseases, good physical conformation and an IQ that is significantly above average).
3. No sexually-transmitted diseases.
4. Of the same political view as myself.
5. Same or similar spiritual outlook.
6. Ideally, a fellow student of karate, or another martial art.
7. A bonus would be if she had military experience and was a passionate advocate of the ownership of firearms.

[orphan]

when a girl offers to help w/ personal life stuff.. like, how to pay bills, or their method of washing dishes, or changing the oil on his car for him..

see how i added that masculine thing in so y'all can't flame me w/ the women=cleaning shit.

but u get what i'm saying.

[Frost_Byt3]

She'd have to be more than just fun and attractive. She'd have to be kind, honest, loyal, and reliable - traits that indicate she would make a good life partner, rather than just a fling.

[SomeGuy37]

Someone who KNOWS she is an Equal and we can be Partners.
For those that understand, Thank You, and Bless you!!

For the others, don't bother telling me I am an A$$, you don't get it!

[vishna]

Hmm, I'm curious to know.

I think compatibility, chemistry, and that special magic dust are things that make someone 'ring worthy.'

Or maybe that's a good relationship or love?

Hmmm let me know guys, I want to get engaged!

[Sara413]

It comes down to having the right connection and seeing yourself being able to grow together with that person for the rest of your life. There's no particular trait that makes a woman "wife material". It all depends on the individuals.

[pilot_steve2035]

Being very open to things he likes and is interested in. You must also be like minded or it will never work long term. A whore in the bedroom but a saint outside the bedroom. Must be willing to follow him to the ends of the world and always have his back.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Depends on the guy. For some it may be that she can cook an clean. For others its that she's obediant to him. For others its that she's strong and independent.

[bleeeep]

Accountability, responsibility, is respectable and the woman and I are just compatible.