Why do guys keep their feelings inside?

In general, why do guys keep most of their feelings inside? Why is it so hard for them to talk about them?

I recently broke up with a guy & although it was mutual, I have had a really hard time getting over him. It doesn't help that I have to see him at work about 3 times a week. I know that he has had a hard time getting over me, too. A few times since we broke up 5 months ago, I have emailed him & told him some of my feelings. He will write back and just say things like, "I understand". (Very short, to the point answers). When we first broke up, he told me he didn't want me to feel alone in how I was feeling & that we could still talk & he would "check in" every few weeks & ask me if I was okay. Then suddenly that stopped. Recently, I emailed him to ask him if he was okay about us because he seemed really down & all he wrote back was "you don't need to worry about those things". WTF? I am so frustrated that I can't talk to him anymore. We used to share everything. Guys, help me understand him!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Most guys are taught to hide their emotions and appear tough. We are brought up to believe that if we show any emotion (other that masculine ones like anger) we would appear weak and no one, especially women, would respect us after that.

    Also, in a relationship, guys want to appear cool and nor feminine and emotional. So, don't expect any emotion from your guy, even though he may be depressed.

    • Okay, thanks. That helps. Its just hard because I think if we could just talk as friends we would both feel better. I guess I want him to know how much I miss him & how hard its been but I am afraid that he will think I am stalking him or something...when all I really want to do is express how I am feeling. Oh well. Guys sure are different!

    • Yes, guys and girls are different. If you read books like "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" or "Why women cry and men lie" you will learn a lot. It may not change things, but at least you will understand why men behave in a certain way.

    • Oh, good to know. I've heard of the first book but not the second. I think I will pick them up! THanks.