Why would a guy show lots of interest, then back off and then start to show interest again? Did his feelings dissappear or intensify? .. READ DETAILS?

[Anonymous]

This guy I met a few months ago started off flirting a lot. When I first met him, he would smile at me, touch my shoulder all the time and back, make great eyecontact, touching my head, tryinf to hold my hand, laughing at stuff i did, liking my instagram pics and just seem interested. This went on for a good while untill a few weeks ago. He just stopped touching my shoulders, making eyecontact unless he had to (we work together), smiling at me and just honestly, I felt kind of ignored and unimportant, "I felt treated like everyone else, not special anymore". I noticed that when I would try to be around him he would mess with his hair and beard without making eye contact, if that means anything. (Actually during this whole tim he never stoped liking every pic i posted to instagram) just fyi. then yesterday he started to make more eye contact and started being a little silly with me. This whole time I a always tried to smile at him and be friendly and a few weeks back i touched his shoulder to try to show more interest but tbh I don't know why he was showing great interest (I think) but then didn't , and as of yesterday making more eye contact.. my gut is telling me that he either completely lost interest or as time went on, his emotions escalated and he really really likes me.. what do you guys think is going on in his mind? Why did he show interest then not? Thanks guys

[RedVulcan]

Ok. I read the one which says hard to get, and they may be right but I habe another theory. This dude could've been more desparate than usual to get a girl, since the way he was flirting with you is a little over the top. Recently tho, he may have made progress with another girl somewhere and spontaneously put you on the back burner, but still liking ur Instagram so as to keep on touch in case things went south with the other woman. Now it seems as if it did, so he's trying to get at you again.

How to deal with? If u like him, go along with his plans if he keeps on flirting and is not trying to play hard to get, learn more about him and ultimately get some commitment going. Hope this helps.

[RedVulcan]

Thanks for the mho! I enjoy overthinking things and this is the best logical conclusion I came to. Any updates?

[Asker]

Your welcome! I enjoyed your opinion! Well, I went to a club with him and some friends and we all got fairly buzzed so we flirted a bit.. he gave me a side hug and we kinda like rubbed eachother backs. Or at least I rubbed his lol. He played with my hair wich was weird cause he like picked it up then let go and pretended he didn't. He was also making more eye contact and chuckled and smiled a lot at random, I guess funny? Things I did. And last thing, we were about to leave when he said 'let me see your hand' and I was like okay lol. Then he grabbed it and held it with both hands and just kind of rubbed it and stared.. then he eventually let my hand go. So yeah. I don't know if the alcohol gave him courage to flirt a bit or if it didn't mean anything..

[Asker]

I also wanted to add that when he held my hand he was fairly sober. And since I didn't move my hand away like I did previously a few weeks ago, I wonder if he took that as a sign that I was interested or something positive. I mean he would have thought it was good that I let him hold my hand right? Or maybe it meant nothing and I'm totally over thinking this

[RedVulcan]

Oh mam he seems super shy around you. I wish you good luck cos I don't think he'll ever make the first move, even though he does seem into you.

[Asker]

Haha thanks. He seems like a playboy to me and really smooth around ladies so I don't get why he would be shy around me

[RedVulcan]

Ooh, good sign! It means he thinks what he says to you probably matters more than what he says to other girls!

[Anonymous]

ugh ok these guys drive me absolutely insane. what i get from what u said is that he is literally trying to play hard to get, which is so annoying bc it'll leave you so confused. The on and off thing is horrible but his way of testing your reaction so he can find out if you like him, bc the one thing guys fear most, rejection. If he acts a little cold around you its his way of protecting himself just incase you don;'t like him, then he gives you attention again to see your reaction. Very very very annoying cycle.

[Asker]

How should I react to show him he has a chance? Like what is he looking for?

[Opinion Owner]

my personal fav, if you see him staring stare back for about 1 second then quickly look down and then smile to yourself look up and then look away, after you done this play with your hair, necklace, ring anything to show you're nervous. just talk extra flirty. Do you guys talk a lot?

[Jonnny]

I think that he likes you. But in my opinion he stopped because he was afraid that you didn't like the flirt (perhaps you didn't "answer" to his flirt?)

[Asker]

How do I respond positively? And like answer to his flirting?

[Jonnny]

You could smile when he flirts and look back at him.(if you feel very intimate with him you could touch him back too...)

[Jonnny]

You see... According to what I understood from you text, you only started to show that you like him when we stopped to flirt. Maybe he thinks that you prefer that he doesn't flirt (so hard at least)

[Asker]

I always was smiling when he flirted. I think maybe he's looking for more of a reaction from me but I don't know what?

[Jonnny]

Well... I can't give you a straight answer... Anyway, I would say that you. should do to him the same things that he did to you!(or at least some of the things like touching is hand and you could try to put you arm on his shoulder!)

[Jonnny]

You know, I guy can be very intelligent and intuitive when he is a his "normal" state. But when he likes a girl very much, his brain can just freeze! (Perhaps he questions himself if what he did was right or wrong and he decide to change not to annoye you)

[John_Doesnt]

He does that because he's bored.

[Asker]

He's bored of what?

[John_Doesnt]

bored with bunny time

[EscobarTheFamous]

Probably he thought you are bored.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[EscobarTheFamous]

He is thinking you are bored.

[EscobarTheFamous]

Don't worry if you alone send me a message