My boyfriend is wealthy but doesn't buy me anything?

Question

he buys himself expensive watches, games clothes, food but complains if he has ro spend on me. He bought me flowers once, he bought his ex jewellery and roses often.
Im not being petty but on the same note he has the means of affording stuff to give even if its a $1 chocolate. I've hinted and expressed that I like flowers and he says I know but doesn't bother getting me anything.
I go out and buy groceries to cook for him home meals because I know he preferes this over take out or resturants. I dont want thousands spent on me even if he got me something simple or wrote a note or picked flowers for me. 
Did he value his ex more?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'd say he thinks of you as a gap filler. Until his ex comes back or until he finds someone better. Otherwise he'd be more considerate and attentive. Though I was well off as a child I rarely used that money. Instead I did other things with it and part of the money I earned. I'd make things for people. Both friends and sometimes strangers but that is how I am. I was trying to be compassionate to the strangers and for those I knew I was trying to be thoughtful in something I hand made for them. Sometimes the items weren't expensive. Other times I did buy something pricey. But you can't put a price on a persons personality and caring. That's worth more than a $80 florist bouquet that could buy a (low income) single person a chunk of their monthly groceries. The flowers are beautiful of course and nice but you can make your own or do something else thoughtful like make someone homemade chocolates. That's not saying that buying someone their favourite something now and then isn't good.

But in what you describe here his attitude to you is "yea yea whatever.." meaning it's not the money or cost it's the effort. Which is why I think he's treating you as a filler until something for him changes. Which can be insensitive enough to warrant them not even being friend material.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

No, chances are he's been burned by gold diggers for a long time. He's likely done the "shower her with presents" bit and found that it turned a lot of his exes (who are exes for a reason) into green-eyed gold diggers. There's more to a relationship than getting gifts. It's one thing if you want him to be romantic, you can talk to him about that, but I don't think anybody in this day in age is going to take you seriously if you have an issue with your guy not buying you presents.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

If you're equating how much he values you (literally) in comparison to how much he valued his ex based on something like how much money he spends..

That's not good. You should voice your concerns to him. Though do remember that he's your boyfriend, not your father or sugar daddy.

alaysatlorp · Accepted Answer

Spoiling girl too much is bad. He probably realized that with his ex so he's taking it to extreme. Nothing to extreme is good tell him that. He shouldn't buy you costly jewelry and stuff like that but buying you flowers and treating you to dinner is must. Tell him that.

WalterRadio · Accepted Answer

I am wealthy. I have bought one of my gfs a car and often just pay for things, like rent, school books, or such. But I don't get into the flowers or brand name purses or shoes because I don't see the value in it myself.

First, is that if he does not have the money to spend on you, then he isn't wealthy. If he does and chooses not to, then there are other priorities, such as buying rental houses or farmland in my case.

What it sounds like is that he is simply not romantic. He doesn't want those little things that you do, and therefore cannot understand why it would matter to you. If he did buy expensive things for his ex and not for you, then consider that a compliment, that he believes you see him for a person not as an ATM.

Fearless_banana · Accepted Answer

He has probabaly dealt with a lot of gold diggers his ex being one of them. I understand the flowers/note but why are you entitled to take his money? I think you are more than capable of buying your own shit.

TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff · Answer

If you go out to dinner, is he paying? If he is, then he is spending money on you. Does he pick you up from places in his car? If he is, then he is spending money on you.

However, it seems like:
1. he might take you for granted
2. he resents you being a drain on his resources and might be secretly broke
3. he got burned spending money on girls and doesn't want a gold digger

So, to fix it?
1. buy yourself flowers and when he comes to visit or comes home, open the door and push them into his arms before you closed the door. . . wait for him to open the door, then act surprised and appreciative that he was so sweet – be genuinely happy, he will get the hint
2. buy yourself some cheap flowers and have the florist write a note with no name saying "from your secret admirer" AND bring them home (no home deliveries or he'll think you're bring dudes home behind his back) . . . act really flattered and bewildered but say that you're so touched and that this is incredibly sweet, don't forget to ask him if it was him and pretend not to believe him but then give in and say that this gift makes you feel so appreciated – if he is smart, he will buy you a bigger and better bunch of flowers BUT you had better dial up how happy you are
3. talk to him about expressions of affection be it a love letter or a piece of lingerie (something that HE would benefit from) and if he doesn't care then move on

Anonymous · Answer

Well it is his money so he is able to spend it on what he wants. I understand that you would like him to show he cares for you in some way but it is fully his choice if he spends his money on you. The fact that you are upset that he doesn't spend money on you says something about you. Sounds like you care more about what he can buy for you over other things which isn't good. In all honesty if I found out my girlfriend was complaining about me not spending money on her I wouldn't have her as my girlfriend much longer.

AynonOMouse · Answer

It is possible that one of the contributing factors of her becoming his ex is because she always wanted money spent on her. Now he probably wants to see if you will be the same way. If you just don't ask for stuff and don't complain, then after a year once he realizes that you aren't with him for money, then he'll probably get you stuff.

My ex was always wanting jewelry and stuff like that (which is one of the reasons why I left her) and now if someone asks me for that stuff, I usually associate it with my ex's behavior and like them less.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

Buying things for your boyfriend/girlfriend every once in a while is nice.. it shows you were thinking about them and wanted to get them something special. I honestly don't know, if he can't at least get you some flowers then I would just stop cooking for him until he gets it lol He probably be like why you never cook anymore.. then you can say why you never get flowers or chocolates. lol Then you can go from there.

SvetlanaSavachenko · Answer

No I don't think he values his ex more. Some women are gold diggers and perhaps his ex was a gold digger. He's probably testing the water to see if you're a gold digger by not spending any money on you and seeing if you'll stick around anyway.

AhGojira · Answer

Have you thought about getting a job. Usually that's what people do to get things they want to acquire. It sounds to me like he doesn't want a prostitute, and you're striving hard to become one. It's a mismatch.

es20490446e · Answer

Since he's very open to buy things for other people, but he isn't specifically for you, it sounds to me that he isn't that much into you, sorry.

I have been in the other side, been the one who doesn't buy things, and the reason was I wasn't sure about committing to the girl.

Remember that the purpose of dating is finding someone who likes you as you are, who's a natural fit to you.

Miss_Behave · Answer

Nothing? Like, not even during your birthday or Christmas?

I don't know, I'm not one who expects gifts even during my birthday or Christmas but it'd be nice if he got you at least some chocolates or flowers if it's your birthday or something.

Xfitchick · Answer

Time to make an evaluation about the relation. He is clearly the dominating guy and you should be the girl that has to be nice and be happy if she gets something. If that is your life, no problem, otherwise...

anonman32 · Answer

maybe he spoiled his ex too much so now he does not want to spoil you too much so he does not spoil you at all.

Spermdumster666 · Answer

Your a grown woman you can buy your own things. Having pride and self respect can't be bought no matter how wealthy.

jjmarvin · Answer

Hard to say. This is probably best brought up directly with him. No beating around the bush, you have to tell him how you feel about it and listen to what he feels as well.

Nik1hil · Answer

And how will he stay wealthy if he starts spending and I am sorry honestly he is just using you

Trending · Answer

You seem like a simple down to earth girl, you just want him to do simple things for you to show that he cares, well let him know how you feel instead of hinting it

Summer_Bunny · Answer

Don't expect him to buy you stuff just because he has money... don't buy him stuff either.

dudegrt09 · Answer

If he is affectionate, appreciates you, values you as a girlfriend then why gifts and money is a problem?

scooogy · Answer

Maybe he regrets having spent so much money on a girl meanwhile?

Jeeevan · Answer

Just because he is rich doesn't mean he should give you gifts. Grow up

Anonymous · Answer

Just because your weathy doesn't mean you have a lot of cash on hand on paper I'm worth 15 million but most of the time a don't have more then $2000 I can actually spend

HulkkSmash · Answer

He probably senses what kind of person you are. You're being petty

My boyfriend is wealthy but doesn't buy me anything?

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