Should I become an alpha male? How do I become an alpha male?

Question

Long story short, I'm tired of being the nice beta guy, who can't get any girls, let alone getting laid.

I am thinking about stopping being the Mr. nice guy and quit being the beta male and turn into an alpha male so that i can finally get a girl and get laid at last.

No chance for me to getting in the beta zone aka friendzone. Either i will get a girl or i'm out.

Time to treat women like they want to be treated, no more nice gestures and compliments i guess. And no more will i leave them be when they say so.
Maybe i should act like christian grey for starters.

Select gender and age to cast your vote:

Updates

+1 y

So girls actually want nice and sweet guys? Where have I been involving myself into? Ugh! This is weird!

But why do girls say, that they want nice and sweet guys when some of them go after complete jailbreaking jerks?

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

The answer to your question is yes and no. Look, you don't really HAVE to act alpha partially because you can veer off too far in that direction and most people who just try to flip the switch dont GET it.

When it comes to girls, you just need to act as calm as you can. Only react largely to things that are large. You want to make it so that if you react to something in a way people notice, it's a big deal. You let the girls know you're interested but that you can walk away.

The first rule to any deal, be it women or buying a home, be ready to walk away and forget it. Girls don't like the thought that they might be the only person who would even bother talking to you.

You also have to change your mentality. If a girl is interested in you at all she will talk to you. If she isn't she'll keep trying to end the conversation and you as a player should try to hold yourself to 3 strikes.

Eye contact, with an occasional glance at her lips, hair and accessories to both make her feel like it's all working and to break any awkward staring. If you can summon a good smile, a modest one, do it. You want to make her believe that behind your face, in your life there is something very interesting and she just has to find out.

The most important thing to understand is that girls are a numbers game, if it were really that easy to get a girl then they would all have fucked more than 10 guys and it would just be crazy. Half the battle is finding a girl who's interested and that means if you want to play, you're gonna need to have some pretty thick skin. You will get rejected more times than not.

There's really not much of a reason to be an asshole to women and if you ask a lot of people who are older now and did it before, they will tell you they regretted some of the things they did. In the words of one of the best ones I ever meet "You can't do that, that's a person, not a thing. . . like a rock. She has feelings and you can't treat a person like they have none"

So yes, confidence is key. And yes, you don't want to come across as a touchy, feely guy. If you are, let her find out after a relationship forms. But no need to just be a dick because "that's how women want to be treated" The only thing like that that girls like is when a guy takes charge and it's in HER best interest.

Words_and_Wisdom · Accepted Answer

Don't worry about being "alpha." It will lock you into a philosophy and mindset you may not even agree with.

Instead focus on being the best version of you. Build your confidence. Forge your purpose and work towards it. Be kind, but don't be a pushover. Be charitable, but treat yourself first. Be complimentary, but don't spoil.

Sounds like you've been putting women above your own self which is why you're not getting the results you want. Instead, you need to realize women need to earn your value.

udolipixie · Accepted Answer

Should I become an alpha male?
If you want to then become one.

However It seems you want to become one because you fail with gals. In that case I find it more suited to honestly evaluate what you have to offer gals and what you want from gals. Do you honestly think there is no possible reason for any gal to reject you other than you're nice and gals want to be treated like shit? If so you seem quite arrogant with a highly inflated ego and delusional view. It amuses how often gals can list tens of shit they see as flaws and reasons why a guy wouldn't date her yet guys seemingly are only able to list a self-congratulatory flaw and blame gals for not dating him.

How do I become an alpha male?
Depends on your view of what is an alpha male. Going by your post it's Christian Grey... so in order to become him you need to be handsome, wealthy, high status, charismatic, and sexually experienced and satisfying.

lumos · Accepted Answer

If I had a dollar for every post like this... I'd be rich by now. My boyfriend is nice. He's one of the kindest, most thoughtful guys I've ever met. I'm so lucky to have him. Maybe your problem is that you're going after the wrong girls. Or your expectations are too high. Or the girls feel like you're only being nice because you want sex. Or you're awkward. Or too pushy. I really have a hard time believing girls don't like you because you're nice. You're not that perfect.

skyysarahtops · Accepted Answer

Some girls are stupid when it comes to guys tbh (don't be offended ladies) They'll pick a handsome asshole over a decent looking nice guy, because they're in it for the thrill.
I'd say to be yourself when it comes to trying to get a girl. A girl will never truly like you if you're pretending to be someone else.
Dw man, all the girls that turned you down for any hot fuckboi will regret it later because the jerk will just use them and they'll realize they should've went for you 😛

existing_not_living · Accepted Answer

Well...

1. Find a werewolf pack.
2. Infiltrate said werewolf pack & get bitten by a werewolf.
3. Train as an omega in werewolf pack and rise in rank to become a beta.
4. Become strong enough to duel with Alpha of werewolf pack.
5. Kill Alpha of werewolf pack.
6. Take over as Alpha of werewolf pack.
7. You are now an Alpha.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Mesonfielde · Answer

Haha, the only appeal of Mr Christian Abuse Grey was that he was a "millionaire", although he never really did anything related to a job.

But the fact that you see girls as "potential fuckdolls otherwise not worth taking into consideration" probably won't help you on your quest for a successful social relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

First of all it is a shame you mentioning here Christian Grey. He is not an alfa beta gama, he is just an asshole in the movie. Secondly the term alfa is bullshit and stop being obsessed with it. Thirdly, if you are good looking you will get the girls despite your acting.

I recommend you to be yourself BUT BUT BUT you have to change these things to become more appealing to woman:(or as you call it alfa, but not ASSHOLE!!!):
Be independent - girls love independent guys. If you speak all day with your mom on the phone, you can't live by yourself, can't arrange and fix your own shit no girl wants to stay with you.

Look at your best - join a gym and train there to look strong and feel strong. The sense of protection is very important for girls. I am not the tallest of guys or biggest by nature (I have narrow body) but I have trained and girls feel so great and confortable by having me by their side.

Don't dump compliments - YES, alfa is not asshole. Don't dump compliments, but don't be needy and clingy... You can't say all the time to a girl how cute beautiful she is (especially if she is beautiful because she already knows that try telling how nice her smile is etc etc).

Don't be needy and clingy - If you act like all your life depends on this girl and you have nothing else to do you came desperate and needy. After all you may really be. So? So don't text the girl all the time! WHY? Not because you are an asshole pretending to be alfa, BUT because you will be busy doing your shit training, learning, studying, doing other things to improve yourself all the time.

TCJ1234567 · Answer

The Alpha thing is a myth. A true Alpha is the aggressive jerk that people like to pretend it is. Look at great apes, the Alpha does mess with anyone unless someone messes with him or apes under his protection. He is calm, relaxed and not an "A" type personality.

What most people call the Alpha, is the lone wolf, not a true Alpha. If all you want is sex, that is the way to go. Lone wolf's are there to add verity to the gene pool, not have relationships.

You don't have to be like that to get girls. The reason those guys get girls is that they ask for what they want, they approach a lot of girls and they don't care about rejection.

There are three types of men, Assholes, Whimps and Protector/Providers.

If you want girls and relationships with them, you want to be a protector provider. He also asks for what he wants, knows he has value but respects the value that the woman has too.

I have known a lot of players and thought the get a lot of girls, they are lonely.

capabolicoius · Answer

It's your choice. But I'm just gonna wait for a nice guy to come around. Girls would prefer guys who are down to earth then being rude and players. I'm in this situation that this sweet guy down to earth want to ask me out BUT I'm not allowed to date until I'm 18.. "My heart says yes, but my mom say no" maybe most of the girls are your age are not allowed to date yet, shy, and not looking in for a relationship with anyone yet because they're working on themselves, physically emotionally standard and mentally progressing.., like working on to better themselves. Like hitting the gym, playing a sport and etc.. If you do really want to find a sweet girl or get a girlfriend , try smiling at the girl but don't make it to desperate we girls avoid those guys then. Girls love SWEET guys believe it or not. A sweet hello an smile can go a long way. It can start a relationship..

Idonthaveausername · Answer

You should definitely become an alpha male to get female attention, but there's a huge difference between "alpha" and "asshole". Don't stop being a nice guy, just take control of the situation.

I met an alpha male once who came up beside me, told me he liked my hair, told me he liked me, and then wrapped his arms around me. Since he started off with a compliment and had more guts than anybody else in there, I let him.

Being an alpha male works because those guys have the confidence to go get the girl they want and do it the right way. Beta males have less of a chance because they avoid putting a foot in the door. Don't think that assholes get the girls because assholes only get sluts, not respectable wife material.

Anonymous · Answer

Your fundamental issue is that you are fixated on how women react and attempting to control that. Sure, you can learn to 'game' better and move from being a needy guy, to a manipulative needy guys. But that wouldn't actually mean being 'alpha'.

What you need to do is simply start treating people fairly, and letting them react however they react. Don't be an asshole, but don't be a suck up. Don't try to win people over. Be fair. Don't be ashamed of what you want. Consider reasonably whether to meet their wants, if they tell you what they are.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't believe in this alpha/beta crap. Stop caring so much about girls you don't know. If you spot a pretty girl and she isn't into you... on to the next one. You can't sit and agonize over her like you have a reason to be emotionally invested in a stranger.

Anonymous · Answer

Simple:
1. Don't give a shit about women's oppinion and live life on your own term.
2. Don't do things to impress women and live your life.
3. Don't take shit from anyone
4. Be vocal and stand up for yourself if you think someone is disrespecting you.
5. Be quick witted
6. Dress well
7. Be ambitious
8. Be masculine and muscular
9. Always use each day to self improve
10. Have goals
11. Do not be a woman's texting buddy and make u intention know you want to be seen as a lover right off the bat
12. Show leadership qualities that people will want to follow you.

Bananaman177 · Answer

Girls only care about your looks, not how you treat them. If you're hot, you can beat 'em, you can cheat 'em, you can insult them in public, you can slap 'em, spit on 'em, put cigarettes out on their face, and they'll still love you and beg for more. If you're not hot, you can be nice, bring flowers, pay for everything, swear to be true, help her every way you can, and if they don't flat-out reject your advances, they'll simply cheat on you. With a guy who treats 'em like trash. But he's hot.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

I'm gonna divide this into two parts.

#1- Just get fit. Train your body for strength and agility while also saving enough free time for other things.

#2- Learn how to fight. I suggest a practical martial art like Muay Thai, Judo, Krav Mga (I did NOT spell that right).

#3- This is the most important one. STOP THINKING TOO MUCH. I feel that's the biggest problem when you're trying to be more Alpha. Its that people over think everything they do. "How right or wrong is this?" "Am I gonna fail?" "What'll be the consequences if I fail?" "What'll be the consequences if I succeed?" An Alpha male doesn't think about all that. He doesn't consider if other's will think it's right. He doesn't consider failure. He doesn't consider consequences. If he wants to do something, he just does it. If he wants something, he'll do what he has to in order to get it.

madhatters4 · Answer

no you shouldn't. but regardless you can't become an alpha male. you are who you are. you can pretend to be something you aren't but you will still be who you aren't

the best bet is to work on your relationships, approaches to women etc. explain early on in a relationship how you feel about a girl and your intentions.

Anonymous · Answer

smh... so you are trying to tell me that us girls don't like being treated nicely? obviously you are going after girls who don't and you ignore other girls because of your standards or whatever and then think that you would get sex if you become an alpha , alright then go for it good luck

LovePeaceHarmony69 · Answer

All girls are different, I have an ex who left me 6 times. He cheated, lied, and the last thing he said was, " You gonna leave me alone now?" Crazy thing is, he contacted me 10 years after the first 3 break ups... I stuck by him and trusted him this time, and the only good thing he did for me, was feeling nothing for him. Just BC bitches are bitches... There's amazing girls who'd walk to the end of the earth! ;)

bloodmountain1990 · Answer

Fuck this alpha/beta male nice guy/bad guy bullshit.

There are girls who go for guys who treat them like shit but it's not like once you get with a girl, you're automatically an asshole/bad boy.

Just be yourself.

kaylaS91 · Answer

Real 'alphas' (which is a joke of an idea in the first place but I'll play along with it for the sake of the question) don't become an alpha. They're born an alpha. So- sorry. You didn't make the cut.

Nuala · Answer

Yes that's totally what being an alpha means... I say go for it, that way when I go into the dating scene I'll know to stay away.

Julie_TS · Answer

Ehhh... that's not really something I think you can turn on & off. It's kinda something that you're born into. And at this point, if you're not already 'wired' like an alpha, you'll probs end up looking pretty douche and worse off than the nice, albeit infrequently laid, beta you are... good luck though

Kapakani · Answer

And thus a white knight dies and a black knight is born.  The cycle continues 😌.

SarahsSummer · Answer

Here's a hint. Most "alpha" males don't call themselves alpha males.

Anonymous · Answer

Christian grey gets away with his attitude because he has the looks and the money.
If you are not a hot billionaire and you act like him then you will be nothing but a disgusting freak and wish you stayed a beta.

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