We have been dating for only four months. He's 37 I'm 30. When we have sex its okay, and there are no performance issues but its only once a... Show More
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, find out how he feels about sex. Ask him how he feels and don't fall for answers about what he thinks about sex. If he grew up with any exposure to what is taught in some churches, or elsewhere, he might be right, for where he is coming from. Trouble is, he isn't there anymore.
Healthy sex lives are negotiated with some give and take from both sides. You might want to read 1Corinthians 7 (focus on verses 1-5) and the Song of Solomon. Many churches have ignored the part about authority over each other's bodies in marriage and the sexual language in Song of Solomon. Sex is neither dirty or only for procreation. If that were the case, women would not have the only mammary glands in nature that are designed for pleasure, rather than efficient feeding of the young.
Depending on the person, daily, weekly, monthly or even yearly sex might be adequate. I like to make love more frequently, as a way of adding physical pleasure to my wife's life. My focus is on her pleasure when I am making love to her, not my self. Sex is something that can be done for selfish reasons, in which case, it is only sex. As an investment in the other person, it becomes love making, because you are performing the act in order to make them feel the pleasure, not pain, of your love. With love making, how much pleasure my wife receives has a major impact on how much I enjoy it. With sex, how much pleasure your partner has is not a major consideration.