He said "I hope you're not getting too attached."

[Anonymous]

We're both leaving for school in 3 months and we both entered this "thing" knowing that ahead of time. We were fooling around and he said "I hope you're not getting too attached. It seemed like you were getting really attached to me." As soon as he said that, I just wanted to cry. I know that it is valid what he is saying but ... ='(

[toulouse]

:) He is just being self centered egotistical narcissistic & immature- its your business how you feel, if you are not making any demands on him, he should leave you in peace & allow you guys to enjoy the remaining time, together, unless he has an ulterior motive, like ego, another girl, or he doesn't understand his own feelings and is projecting them out whee it is safer - to u.

I kissed a guy I had been in love with for 3 years - we had started out dating 2 years past, but I left the country unexpectedly, he never trusted me fully after that - I think.

Anyways it started with him saying he was WORRIED about him getting attached or me getting attached - when I was not even raising anything about starting something , between us..

Then it escalated to him saying' do not get attached' - as a reminder - I guess:)

At which point I stopped talking to him. ( he did not stop coming to see me &three days later he told me he had always been in love with me.. My guess is that as he was feeling more attached, he tried to pass it off onto me, & having failed that, because I had already prepared myself for this, he had to try to get me to FEEL it, & that is when I stopped talking to him, & so he had to confront his own feelings)

It is very obnoxious & insulting, patronizing & artificial.

I knew he was leaving in 2 weeks, & if I thought that was going to be something I could not handle I would not have gotten involved - meaning spent time with him- at all.

I do not agree with people who say your heart does not care about your head.

I think the heart should care VERY MUCH about reason, because it should want ALL to be healthy :)

>>>> Anyways as or your situation, what art bothers you, that he was being presumptuous or that you feel very much connected to him & are worried about losing him?

( Another note ) These days, Guys are typically taught to project all their feelings onto woman - because guys ostensibly have NO feelings outside of hunger sex, ownership & jealousy... Its all commercial crap & profitable in some way I' m sure to diet, sex, therapy, car, tool, tv, industries etc,.

Also, by attached exactly what do YOU mean... What does he mean?

Because if it is feeling again , then that is your business HOW you feel as long as you don't make demands on him he has no business bothering about it...

If it is technical, well you don't need a WARNING, you need a plan - you are not a child & that is what he is acting like.

& Based on the fact it was sooo upsetting to u, I doubt it was an altruistic move on his part.

He could remind you he is leaving, if he wants, but the way he did it, to me, sounds like he wanted his ego stroked. that's a ll, he just wanted to remind you & him how much some one WANTE him..

btw, What did you say when he said that &how are things now? :)

[Asker]

I was upset with what happened so I left right away. He said that now I am pushing him away, blah blah. I told him I didn't want him to think I was attached. I left, kinda bitter. anyways, I felt bad because I thought I overreacted a little. Anyways, I told him that and hope we were cool. Asked him to hang out but I could tell he avoided me. So I told him, I won't bother him again, take cares and good luck.. I started seeing someone else. I still kinda think of him, but oh well.

[toulouse]

:) lol Pushing him away...I think guys are so use to projecting their feeling onto us, they do not realize that conveys ' I don't really care about this - you do'

So when people like you did, respond rationally, they get upset... I would not be surprised if they really do not see the correlation between his words & your actions.

I got so irritated when that was said 2 me,1 week, I went back & delivered a speech, where in tho inadevertently, I essentially said he was immature & delusional. :)

[Tamikaze]

Consider this a lesson learned. Your mind does not rule your heart. So, you can "think" you will be able to leave your heart out of this "thing" because it only makes sense, right? But your heart could care less about logic. Women 9 times out of 10, become attached to a guy they like enough to fool around with. Worse by fooling around with a guy it stimulates hormones that lead us to bond with him. But guys do not operate the same way at all, they are not wired like that, so they can and do have short-term flings without any fear of becoming attached.

So, I would say you need to stop seeing him now, give yourself some time to heal before you are off to college. It is obvious from your post that you want more from him, and he is not going to give that to you. Why ruin your first couple of months at school with a broken heart over a guy you never meant to fall for?

[TallAsTrees]

What a selfish douchebag. That action alone should make you want to never talk to him again.

Start looking for someone who reciprocates your feelings and wants the same things you do.

[properplay]

he's saying to f*** with your head, acting compassionate is the perfect way to make yourself look attractive. he's trying to boost his ego, it would be totally hard for him to leave you unless he felt like you were obsessed with him. I would just act like nothing happened if I was you. he'd go nuts.

[toulouse]

:) Yeah a guy said that to me & I was like wow are you narcissistic. It was really annoying & he was totally trying to get me to say oh yeah but I want you & blah blah blah...i really did like him before that,but I totally lost respect, 1 he obviously has no respect to say that 2 I don't respect people that only know how to project, they cannot logically consider other people having separate experience.

[Asker]

Well I told him that we were cool and wanted to just casually hang out/watch a game but I can tell he was avoiding me. So I told him if it feels like I was bugging him, I don't mean to and I won't bother him again. I said "thanks for everything, take cares and good luck." So I basically said my goodbye through texts. He never responded back. If a girl said that to you, would you respond? Does that mean he wants nothing to do with me? I didn't really expect him to text back either

[properplay]

Just stop thinking about it. you're over thinking things and it just makes you look insecure

[properplay]

He was totally into you

[codingsmokey]

It means he just wants you for sex. "Fuck Buddy" - "Friends with benefits". Always happened when two people go into a relationship like that, one person ends up getting hurt. Just try to move on and forget about him. Trust me if you don't your going to end up getting hurt more then you already are.

[HoneyBeeBaby]

girl what he is saying is that you are a nice girl, but he's not the one for u. Go online & type in what does it mean when a guy says that, or that good old Don't fall in love with me! good luck

[chiefnavarro]

he doesn't want a relationship. and if he does he's not mature enough for one. forget about him. I hope you did give it up to this ass

[mz4568]

This guy is a loser. He just wanted you for sex.

[jenn33]

don't worry about it; happens all the time