Why do guys with serious girlfriends try to hook up with other women?

[adamjanovic]

I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this, but I'd just like to hear other people's opinions on why men who are in committed relationships, love their wife or girlfriend and have no intention of leaving them go and seek out other women to have sex with. I'm wondering because there have been several occasions where guys who have serious girlfriends have hit on me (and by hitting on me I don't mean harmless flirting but crossing the line and getting inappropriate and even trying to get me in bed).

For example, several years ago this guy at a party I was at got fixated on me even before we talked to each other, got me alone and physically tried to have sex with me but I told him no. He had a girlfriend who he said he wasn't leaving but really wanted to have sex with me. Last year I was on a flight to California where I was taking a course and I was sitting next to this guy who had a girlfriend, and we had a nice conversation, but I could tell he was attracted to me, even though I had mentioned several times that I was married. Towards the end of the flight he suggested that we get together and do something in LA (just the two of us). I knew what was on his mind and so I said no. On the flight home I actually sat next to someone famous (I won't say who, I don't wanna get sued!) who was filming something in Vancouver where I live and he asked for my number "in case I got tired of my husband and wanted to have some fun!" 😳 I said no, of course! There are more examples of guys wanting to cheat on their girlfriends who they supposedly love with me. What's up with this?

Updates

+1 y

I'd like to rephrase the title as why do SOME guys with serious girlfriends try to hook up with other women, as I know that not all guys do this.

[martyfellow]

you must be not only physically attractive, but educated and grounded.. Take this as a compliment.

Guys who are famous are used to girls saying yes, regardless of their marital status, so he naturally gives it a try. You should hear the stories of guys who have successfully imitated famous people based on a physical resemblance... they can get away with most anything with most girls.

You'd probably be the 33d girl he's bedded after meeting her on the airplane.

Guys with money, even if not famous, pretty much the same... especially if they are older and experienced.

[martyfellow]

I'm not saying all women are 'like that' . Don't get me wrong. Probably 66 girls have turned him down, like you.. but 1 out of 3 in baseball gets you in the hall of fame.

I'm neither rich nor famous, and I've had two girls on airplanes pretty much come onto me!

[adamjanovic]

The famous guy kept trying to persuade me even after I said no. He obviously doesn't get many girls rejecting him.

[adamjanovic]

And the guy on my flight out, while not famous, was older, like mid to late forties.

[martyfellow]

It would be interesting to ask him what his average is!!! I'm just guessing it's about 1 out of 3. How would I know, not being famous? But of course, he's successful often enough so he's super smooth and confident, and isn't bothered by an initial no... he has learned that he can use his fame to overcome an initial no. After all, you're kind of a prisoner during the flight, he no doubt brags about his car, his money, where he could take you. other famous people he could introduce you to..

Am I close to being right?

[martyfellow]

And likely pretty well off financially.. after all, the poor don't fly a lot.

[adamjanovic]

Oh yeah! This guy is more of a B-lister, certainly not a household name but famous enough that most people recognize him and know who he is. He was trying to impress me during the whole flight.

[adamjanovic]

Right from the start I thought he was a creep, he checked me out pretty hard, would blatantly stare at my chest and give me this pervy smile.

[martyfellow]

Many women as you know are willing to do anything to be with a guy in the media, especially the movies, someone with a 'name.' Girls who wouldn't give any ordinary guy the time of day, no matter what he looks like.

[martyfellow]

Sad to say, many girls will put up with pervy smile etc., if they can brag to their girl friends they slept with a movie star.

[whynotmarryJ]

I think it comes down to what is going on in the relationship because if you live together and constantly stick to a routine one or both will start to get frustrated/bored. That is why I always say have a day or two in the week to do something completely new and fun with one another.

[Kgbmafia]

they're not happy with the relationship or the sex life or their girlfriend/wife just let herself go. There are endless possibilities but most of the time it can be physical. So like a dude finds one girl really attractive and his girlfriend not in the same light. So he wants to bang the other chick simply for looks but loves his girlfriends because of her personality. Just my views on it

[adamjanovic]

In some cases I knew or had seen the girlfriend and most of them were quite physically attractive, some even more physically attractive than me.

[Kgbmafia]

then it may be internal problems with the relationship. Them constantly arguing and in turn the man isn't getting laid as much. Men have higher sex drives than us so if his girlfriend isn't providing he might look elsewhere. Which is very wrong of course.

[AnaWryneck]

They don't respect their relationship or the woman they're trying to bone

[Anonymous]

they keep the girlfriend but also want to try others

[Elastephen]

Because they are greedy insecure losers in my book.

[frozenhorizon]

It's simple, they get bored of the relationship because it's not new anymore and they want to feel something exhilarating, and they're probably not confident enough to end their current relationship because they fear being single. I see them as basically the same as serial monogamists but even more immature. Both are addicted to the "new relationship" feeling, the ones who hook up are just too big of pussies to break up with their girlfriends.

[Browneye57]

Either gender will do this, but generally they don't go seeking it - it just pops up, you meet someone you are particularly attracted to.

But you're right it usually doesn't happen unless one or the other is missing something in the LTR.

BTDT both sides.

[Anonymous]

There can be a variety of reasons.

Some just have a super high need for variety in sex partner, and really need to be in an open relationship.

Some are addicted to the thrill of getting women to sleep with them.

And some are in terrible relationships that for one reason or other they don't leave.

So case in point: I'm married, and think in the last two years I've had sex about 6 or 7 times.

[Chico_brah]

You're making a strong generalization lol. I would never cheat and I do have plenty of opportunities to do so if I was that much of a dick. You're associating yourself with some pretty low class people if this is a reoccurring issue for you.

[adamjanovic]

This certainly doesn't apply to all guys, I know most are loyal to their partners if they truly love them. And for that matter I think that a lot of women who have husbands or boyfriends want some action on the side as well, they just don't admit it or pursue this desire as aggressively as those men do.

[JustCallMeLeon]

Newsflash. Girls do that do. Happened to me a few times too.

[adamjanovic]

I know girls do.

[adamjanovic]

I'm just curious if some guys do it for the same reasons that some girls do.

[Belgie]

They don't believe in monogamy, or they are not serious about the girl they are with and are looking to upgrade.

[realperson02]

it goes both ways. bad people will be bad no matter which gender they are.

[bg1987]

Why do girls with serious boyfriends try and hook up with other guys?
It goes both ways.

[adamjanovic]

I agree.

[someindianguycringe]

i have hooked up once, i prolly would if i got another chance but its not easy obviously lmao though if i had a girlfriend, i definitely wouldn't.

[Wiitard]

Sneezing is like using sonar to find polite people.

[adamjanovic]

Not sure how that's relevant?

[Anonymous]

Because they are stupid that's why.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend is 19 and she is all the woman I need. One year later and she's the only woman I want to sleep with.

[Anonymous]

If a guy is given respect, trust and sex (as and when he desires), there is a very rare chance that he will do this !!

[Anonymous]

another diabolical question by a diabolical woman.

Stop wrongly defaming men all the time

[Lilier]

This is a great question.

[NajemEddine]

you can't eat the same food everyday

[Decentguy]

because they are assholes

[Anonymous]

because it's just sex