How to play it with an introverted guy?

[Anonymous]

So there's this guy, I've kinda known him through other friends for a while but we've never really spoken before. He's kinda quiet, and normally I go for the loud, outgoing, center-of-attention type.

Last weekend, we were out in a group situation, and we got talking. Spent the entire night talking, flirting, making eyes at one another - you know, typical flirting. It was fun!

Thing is, he's really quiet. Up until Friday night, I would never have thought to speak to him. He's not a "shy guy", he's just more of a chilled out, observant, thoughtful and not so in-your-face kinda person who won't necessarily talk to you unless you initiate it. Once you've broken the ice though he'll engage really well.

So my question is, how do I play this? I'm not sure about the quieter introverted types! I'm a loud and outgoing girl, and I always sort of found myself being drawn to other loud, outgoing types.

I know he thinks I'm really cool, he told me so. I don't know if he'd make a move, but I also don't wanna scare him off or come on too strong. Advice from you introverted types?

[Brando]

I'm introverted and the quote "Still water runs deep" is a very true statement for me. If you want to get closer to him, then you better come packing with conversation topics. As an extrovert, I'm sure you won't have a problem with that :) BUT...no small talk. Us introverts will nod away small talk because it really is pointless. Ask him how the weather is and he'll ask you why you can't come up with something better to talk about. Think about things you really want to know from him. Not only is he a guy (straightforward), but he only talks about what is useful to talk about (again, straightforward). So if there's something about him you want to know, ask. Ask his opinions on different topics, ask what he likes to do, things like that.

zepthon gave some good advice too. Don't come on too strong, but simply saying "I really like you/interested in you" wouldn't hurt as long as its not too strong. There are different types of introverts. Me, for example, I'm very confident in what I know/don't know and believe. I'm confident in my ability/non-ability to find out things. Basically, I'm confident in what I know and don't know, all things realistic. However, when it comes to socializing, I'm not good at body language, behavior, and subtly. I try to analyze it like I would something concrete. And more often than not I fail at it. So don't play flirting games or "drop hints", just be upfront about everything and he's not likely to be confused.

Oh, and thank you for not assuming that introverted automatically means shy :)

[DogsRCute]

So my crush is not shy, just introverted... so am I. And I was just wondering... Do introverted guys only flirt with girls they like?

[Azulmono55]

Hmmmm, that's pretty tough. With shy guys it's easy (Always make the first move), but this changes things a bit. I'd say for now just turn up your signals a bit, see if he plays along. If you were flirting successfully he shouldn't have any trouble spotting signals.

The was I see it there are 3 possible outcomes:

1. He asks you out - FANTASTIC!

2. He reciprocates - Pretty damn good, just keep turning up the signals and if he STILL doesn't ask you out, just ask him out.

3. He doesn't reciprocate - Not good. Chances are, he doesn't fancy you and just likes your company. Now usually I'd say that wasn't a bad thing and you should just cut your losses and take it as it is, but if you REALLY can't get him out of your head, just ask him out anyway! If you're a loud outgoing type this shouldn't be too hard for you and he almost certainly won't find it creepy - just flattering.

Hope I helped a little bit! Good luck :3

[Asker]

Yeah, I know right! We talked for hours and were laughing and making stupid googly eyes and giggling, so it was definitely reciprocated, it's just that because we've only just started talking I don't wanna come on too strong, you know?

Thanks a lot for the advice, I think I'll just play it by ear until I can no longer stand it and just say "Look, I'm gonna be straight with you, I think you're really cool and that we should go out some time. " What do you reckon?

[Azulmono55]

Sounds good to me, that's basically what I was trying to get at. Have fun! And of course hope you get him in the end :D

[zepthon]

I'm not the introverted type, but I was it for a long time so I think I can awnser pretty well.

Just tell him something like : "I think we should be more than friends" or anything like this. If you want him to make the move tell him you think he'S really handsome, he is craving for that.

If he's a little like me, when he's not with you, he only thinks about "scenarios" on how he can ask you out or anything, and stressing out about how you'll react, and when he feels more chill, he dream about the fact that you ask him out... which never happens.

Please, make my day : Do something utopic, even heroic, and move on with him, fulfill his most cherished dreams.