When texting a guy, is it best to remain aloof?

Question

Im not even the type of person to play games so it pisses me off that I even feel the need to do this, but I hate to be left on read and it seems like whenever I carry on a conversation with a guy via text thats what happens. On the other hand, when I take hours to respond (or don't respond at all), or send back short/vague responses, that's when it seems like guys want to talk to me.

For example, one of my guy friends has been showing interest in me here lately and I've been remaining aloof with him. Well I recently got sick and he kept checking up on me (he spent a whole day with me one day and the days after that he kept checking up on me via text). Well the other night I was laid up in bed still sick, he texted me, I decided to keep the conversation going. Things were getting lightly flirty or whatever then all of a sudden he stops replying. Still haven't heard from him.

That makes me feel dumb like I shouldn't have let my guard down and kept ignoring him or keeping things short with him. Am I right? Are guys only kept interested by mystery?

Matti_Jr · Accepted Answer

Conversations via texting is pretty common nowadays, but it's easy to get distracted and lose track of time. You'll be texting, possibly messing around with your computer/TV/tablet/etc. or go to hang out with your friends and you forget to tell the girl you're texting that you're going to hang out with friends. It's not the worst trait in people, sometimes guys/girls are scatterbrained.

If you started dating him and noticed that he stops replying frequently, that's something that you need to have a conversation with him on so he knows that you're interested and want him to make more of an effort to communicate more with you.

You mentioned you were feeling sick, so you can't be expected to be on the phone frequently because no one wants to do anything when they feel like shit. When you're feeling better and if you're digging him, throw him a curve ball and call him.

I don't speak for all guys, but I personally never cared for aloof. If you're communicating mainly through texting right now, you should be trading messages instead of one party constantly initiating conversation. I agree with LordBaeron said, if I get no-effort answers, then I won't bother maintaining a conversation.

EpicDweeb · Accepted Answer

I've always hated getting short replies from my girlfriend. If that sounds strange it's because it usually meant she was upset with me. My girlfriend was too polite not to text back, but she would keep things as short as possible. Ever since then I've always seen short replies as a sign of disinterest. It implies that the person texting doesn't care enough to put any effort into a reply. Of course I realize that's not the only reason for short replies. Obviously a person may simply be busy or not think anything longer is necessary. The point being that guys don't always take short texts to mean "aloof." We may see it as "we did something wrong." Basically I'd recommend being more cautious when it comes to short replies than I would when it comes to lengthy ones.

bubblybex · Accepted Answer

he sounds kind of rude tbh, just ignore him from now on so that he gets the message that your pissed. if he messages back, try to keep your replies half an hour or more apart, and less than 7 letters. i know playing games sucks sometimes, but it can give more mystery, and make him more interested, especially if your a little bit annoyed, he'll want to make u happy again

feligatr · Accepted Answer

But beware of the pattern coz if y'all get into the habit of texting excessively & he never gets a chance to miss you, a texting buddy is all you're gonna get.

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

Sometime people get taken away from texting or just fall asleep. Nothing to feel dumb about. Don't give it a second thought.

JackMason · Answer

Yeah text conversations are mostly terrible because they lack the hello, goodbye parts of a phone or face-to-face conversation so when it stops abruptly its super awkward.

My rule of thumb if you must text is 1:1, ie don't send 2 texts in a row but rather wait for them to text back and if they don't then just leave it.

LordBaeron · Answer

guys don't give a fuck about your mystery. you think that because you like mystery in a guy, so it should work on us too. nope. relax, it's okay to talk like a normal human being.

personally i dislike girls who give one-word no-effort answers. if that happens, i don't bother replying.

Browneye57 · Answer

It's best not to try to build a relationship via text. It just never works.
You cannot get any emotion and zero body language via text. So you miss at least half of what's being communicated. You really should just be making arrangements for your next meet up IRL. Forget all the texting back and forth, it's a waste of time and effort and you'll get all confused and hurt feelings.

dannymexico · Answer

Now days it's a game. People are very distracted and bored easily. Your using the phone wrong though. The phone should only be used to schedule and actual meeting in person. Phone ships suck and they make the actual face to face less fun.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If someone is important in your life, why rely on texting when you can dial them and actually talk?

TomBradysJersey · Answer

It's an immediate turn off if you try to play hard to get with me.

CoffeeWC · Answer

you may have different opinions on what flirting is

Anonymous · Answer

Not so much mystery, more how much of a challenge you'll be.

Eternallylucky · Answer

You really are trying it on the wrong guy.

When texting a guy, is it best to remain aloof?

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