Guys don't like good girls ?

Question

ive heard that guys prefer "sexier" girls who are more experienced and comfortable with their sexuality, like party girls who like to drink and smoke and play around. I'm not like this, I don't smoke or drink ( I'm not religious by the way I just don't do these things because I don't like them) and I try to be a friendly nice person. my friends say I'm too " innocent" but only people who know me think this because its not usually obvious until you get to know me better.people usually seem suprised when they come to the conclusion

is this off-putting for guys to be a 'good girl' ? is it better to be a 'party girl'? if so why ? or why not ?

chelsea4147 · Accepted Answer

I agree with what most of the guys have said. Of course party girls are gonna get attention, but it's only superficial that lasts the night while they're drunk or need an ego boost. Don't change who you are for anybody- especially people who tell you you're too innocent- sounds like they're jealous of your good rep if you ask me. No one respects loose girls, because it's just too easy to act that way and guys see that ALL the time. Guys want something different (innocent) because then they feel like they've found something special, and something that no guy- or not many other guys- have had before. Even if a girl was the most gorgeous person on the planet, if a guy is out with her and there's half the club saying- ah yeah I've slept with her blah blah- he's gonna feel like she's a worthless piece of trash.

And yeah- like one of the other guys said- the only guys who might be put off by your self-respect, are those who just wanna f*** and chuck. Basically they might be attracted to you, but as soon as they talk to you and see that you're not like that, they think- nah can't fool this one, I'll go for the easy girl over there. And that's all there is too it really.

You keep doing what you're doing though and sod anyone else. I can guarantee you'll have more fulfilling and longer lasting relationships than your 'mates' put together.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

Guys prefer sexy girls for sex, and some prefer an experienced girl for a partner too, but some guys are all about the inexperienced or innocent girl for relationships. Thankfully there is someone for everyone.

I have dallied between being a good girl (most of my life) and having fun now that I am divorced and I quickly found:

1. FWB is not worth it. I would rather wait to be with someone special than have some temporary sexual fix that usually isn't that great.

2. I have to stay true to who I am. I like looking sexy but realized I wanted to tone it down for myself because I just feel better and relate more to being the "good" girl. I am a woman now, not a girl, so no one is going to see me as an innocent but I did not find any benefit to being seen as the super sexy woman. Who needs random men gawking just because they think they can get you into bed.

3. If you look like a party girl and too wild, some of the greatest guys around will be intimidated by you and won't approach you. They may also just want to avoid you. Some guys see party girls as flaky and airheaded and just not someone they want.

dakota102 · Accepted Answer

honestly, I think guys prefer girls that are confident with themselves and in turn this is what they see as sexy. sure those party girls may get most of the attention but it's not the good kind. I'm sure no guy really wants a girl like that to take home, they are just the ones that guys mess around with. another thing is, sure you can be innocent but that's often mistaken as someone who is too quiet, ain't any fun and isn't comfortable with herself. so I'm guessing that's why guys hardly go for the quiet type. but take it from me, you can be innocent but you should also have the personality and confidence to back it up. these things work hand in hand and this in the end is what attracts guys. I've learnt that recently, and its working so far. :)

ivan5252 · Accepted Answer

I think it's all in the crowd you surround yourself with..

for instance, you're more likely to meet a hook up at a club than a "keeper".. and you seem to only reference back to parties or "party" atmospheres.. most people there aren't looking for anything serious and most of it is mutual.. on the other hand, hang out on campus, study at a starbucks, go to casual outings, places like lounges and that would totally change the social demographics..

I would consider myself open minded and always trying to look at things from all perspectives. I've met all sorts of people here in vegas from "keepers" to people that literally "live" at the clubs to p*rn producers to "nice people".. That being said, I'd like to honestly tell you that you should not be questioning your behavior. The most important thing that you should remember to wear (be a party or school) is confidence--don't leave home without it! :) A girl with confidence does mind-boggling things to us guys.. I would be someone to talk--I occasionally have my moments where I don't have it all together. But, I usually know what's going on and what I'm doing wrong.. hey I'm still looking for a "nice" girl around here; just about all the one's I've met are already taken hehe.

You're gold to modern society, know that. :)

bersaba · Accepted Answer

True story, names changed.

When my high school yearbook was being created, there was a poll for "most beautiful guy/girl" that everyone filled in. Rebecca was very very sexy. Everyone assumed that she'd win. Problem was, Rebecca was a bit of a pain in the butt. She wasn't mean, but she was very self centred and superficial. Always cared about being 'perfect'.

When the poll was held, Rebecca didn't win. Infact she came 3rd. Another girl, Lisa, won hands down (from memory something like 80% of the votes). Lisa was a 'bigger' girl, not fat, but not model thin. Thing is though, she was the sweetest nicest person on the planet. Always helped out, always said hello, not up herself.

I often tell this story to girls that think guys just care about looks, but here it applies about personality too. Guys do like good looking girls, and we'll instinctually notice a sexy girl, but at the end of the day, a 'nice' girl is far better then a bitch. We'll have a one night stand with the bitch, we'll marry the nice girl.

And personally, a girl that smokes is a complete and utter turn off.

Mesonfielde · Answer

Guys like good girls, girls don't like good guys. :)

Jinmetsu_Rasetsu · Answer

Who are you and where the hell do you live? I would like to meet you!

I prefer "modest" women. Sex is the last thing I consider if I am looking for a Girlfriend... Compatibility personality wise and activity wise (I like doing physical activities like running 4-6 miles and aerobics, I can't tolerate out of shape women on the principle that my patience for laziness and slowing down so someone can catch up is limited/non-existant). I find drinking an unattractive habit (I believe in maintaining a bearing of absolute self control, and have no respect for anyone willing to chemically alter or destroy their mental lucidity via alcohol and drugs.) I live in Detroit... When I lived on the East Side of Detroit (the poorer district...), Women thought I was queer because I don't burn braincells. I too am a bit religious, but religion is not the driving point of my opinions, but experience... I used to drink, and seemed to get in a lot of fights that way... Went to jail a few times for hospitalizing people. I used to be permiscuous, but that too caused problems.

I am at a logical conclusion that I must be in a relationship with a non-drinking, non-smoking prude in order to even be attracted to her... LOL

Anonymous · Answer

I think you're mixing up your terms, or creating a dichotomy for yourself.

An object that's "not hot" does not necessarily mean that it's "freezing cold". Maybe it's "warm" or "room temperature".

Guys don't like extremes. In fact, they dislike them equally. On one extreme, there's the sorority barbie type. She gets drunk, drugged up, goes from party to party, and can be frequently seen in 10+ people group orgies or your nearest p*rn site. No guy wants to be with someone who has such an extremely loose and liberal sexual nature. It's more than just uninhibited, it's a little too wild and crazy; not to mention unsafe.

The other extreme is an enuche. Someone who thinks that "not being a slut" means "being a virgin", or "being asexual". That person clearly has major issues with sex, and is extremely inhibited. That's not exactly something any guy wants either.

Guys like a little bit of both.

Someone who doesn't have issues with sex, isn't inhibited, is open and comfortable with their sexuality and aware of their sexual desires. But not someone that gets drunk or drugged up all the time, or has slept with 60% of the guys in her zip code. That's pretty much what I think when I think about the "good girl" that I'm attracted to. Not having issues with sex, but also not being desperate for attention are definitely both attractive qualities.

Boogers · Answer

Here is the thing, at least for me.

Party girls are more like sleeping buddies. I do not care about, if I hurt there feeling, oh well, big deal. I just sleep with them, don't want a relationship or anything.

Good girls, Like my girlfriend, I actually care about her. She is also a really caring person. Sometimes, I can't stop thinking about her. I actually slept with her before being in a relationship but once I found out what kind of person she was, I was totally in love with her.

Your turning off guys, but only the "player type" or guys that are desperate for sex. All they wanna do is sleep with you and once they find out your not gonna give it up that easily, they leave.

ErikM · Answer

I think plenty of guys go for the type of girl you're describing. I like the friendly, smart, witty, cute, innocent type of girl. However, she shouldn't be overy sweet or timid, because sometimes that can be an issue. Some girls won't speak up and have an independent opinion. Some girls are too sweet for their own good, and they let people hurt them and walk all over them. You can be sweet and innocent, but you also need a backbone and a mind of your own. You need to be able to communicate what you want and you need to be able to set your foot down.

Kelsers · Answer

Guys honestly would rather an experienced girl. That way its not awkward for them. Also it depends on the guy. If your looking for the typical bad ass who looks for the type of girl who parties, smokes and drinks..your not going to have much luck in that department. Why don't you find a guy whos more your type. One who doesn't do that stuff and or one whos a virgin. The guys who think they're a bad ass usually would look at you as fresh meat as they'd say. Thinkin that they could get you in bed and then leave you. So wise advise! Look at the good guys..they're less likely to screw you over in the end. AND  be true to who you are. And don't change because you think more guys will like you. Good luck hun :)

Belgie · Answer

It's not off putting, and it's not that guys don't like good girls.

But there's something very attractive about a girl who is confident and sure of herself. A girl doesn't have to smoke or drink or be a party girl, but if she can tell a good dirty joke she's got my interest. If she's comfortable in her own skin, that goes a long way to making a girl sexy. A girl can be brash without being vulgar. "Friendly and nice" is fine for a house warming party or a dinner party. If you're at a club, or a party where you want to meet people, you should let some other sides of your personality show through.

ScepMan · Answer

Definitely not. Being a 'bad girl' will just attract the 'bad boys,' and there are plenty of guys who would much rather have a girl like you than a slut. Personally, I think that smoking is a major turn-off on girls, and I wouldn't care to date someone who I knew slept around a lot...I don't see the attraction in those things at all. Bad girls will mostly attract those guys who are just looking for sex, while guys who want deeper, more serious relationships are generally attracted to girls like you. Don't feel ashamed about your lifestyle at all, it's definitely something to be proud of!

tashjunior · Answer

Listen it's breaking that you see as if that happens but it's not always the case.Am a guy and the silly thing I would do is looking for what you are calling 'party girl" I look for someone who is her real self, someone who appreciates who she is, someone who is easy to go with, I understand you are religious keep that up and let the person who will take you , choose you because of who you are.Be YOURSELF and never allow your self to be like them because you are not them-YOU  ARE YOURSELF. remain to maintain dignity.

lonelysadguy · Answer

i don't care about that crap ether drinking smoking doing drugs and a girl that sleeps around is a big turn off and religion sucks too it turns some people into snob mindless idiots I use common sense in life and sounds like you do too and that's AWSOME don't dumb yourself to thinking it will make you attractive even though I don't know what you look like but you sound very attractive to me... girls can be sexy if they are already hott/pretty/beautiful/gorgous or whatever a guy would say about her amazing body and face there's nothing wrong with the way you types of "good" girls are don't ever change : ) its just some guys are afraid to ask girls out that's all no matter how hott a girl is ok... a lot of guys prefur the girl to do that...also a lot of the nice guys prefur a virgin too that will open up her heart and body to us types... hope this helps

Snugz · Answer

I personally find good girls to be probably one of the biggest turn ons as well as the group of guys that I grew up with (who are always getting chased). I think that it depends where the guy is at. I think that first they prefer party girls and then they move on; that's my opinion.

Mynecessarythoughts · Answer

Guys fool around with bad girls and have relationships with good girls. I often hear guys complain about the lack of "good girls". It seems there are more than enough girls willing to get drunk, party and have indiscriminate sex and not very many respectable girls who don't need to embarrass themselves in order to have a good time. You being a good girl is a valuable asset...so don't worry about it.

Anonymous · Answer

nooo not at all I don't know about other guys but it makes me feel weird dating a girl that's slept with a bunch of dudes and if your drinking id want you to be kissing me or doing stuff with me caus I don't know if your going to puke or something. Just try to find a better class of guy id think that there so few of them out there. Being a party girl attracts a lot of guys who want to f***. Being a nicer classier girl will get you few guys but better ones. If your looking to just have sex then yeah be a party girl and that's what you'll get. Being nicer just has its benefits.

cerealpirate · Answer

I for one don't like party girls ... I think a girl is sexy when she holds her self up to a standard ... not show ass or t*ts... excuse my french. I lost a girl because she wanted to go out all the time and at the time I didn't have the spare money to p*ss away... well she chose the bars and lime lights over a guy that gave his whole heart to her. needless to say a week out and I am still feeling the pain.

the way out culture is heading men and women are loosing just about every moral that out grandparents have tried to instill into us ... we are going crazy. its the movies the music and what ever else media I haven't covered telling us we have to act this way. well I say its a lie. if your a good girl then be one and be proud. this world could use a few million more!

sonic241928 · Answer

Seriously, what kind of people told you this stuff?

Some guys might be into party girls and sluts, but I'm not one of them. And I can't speak for all guys, but I know I'm certainly not alone. I want a quality relationship with a quality girl...if you want the same with a quality guy, don't change the person you are.

Keyon5 · Answer

HEAD GAMES!

"Good girls" don't play games with men's head. She's mature enough to know how to care for a man and also his feelings.

Men can party with sexy, naughty girls all they want. But men have emotional needs too, and it will get to the point where he doesn't want to play games anymore.

"Good Girls" > "Cheating ass girls"

...Period...

eaedx · Answer

Not at all! I would never date a girl like that. Stick to what pleases YOU and let a guy who loves your deep down character sweep you away. Wait for someone who doesn't expect you to be who you aren't. That's never a good thing. There are PLENTY of guys out there who don't look for this in a girl.

Xenophobia · Answer

I'd love to date a good girl. The problem is trying to find them. I'm convinced they are in hiding and are not found at the same places that party girls are found.

I want an innocent girl, that way there's no pressure on either of us.

I'll see ya later. I'm going to hit up the library to find some good girls...

celiguy00 · Answer

Each type of girl has benefits in my opinion, but personally I would choose the 'good girl.'  Why?   Good girls would be who I would be more attracted to for settling down or being in a more perminant relationship.  A girl who parties has a lot more opportunities to cheat, get hit on, or get drunk and then not have good judgement and use that as an excuse (speaking from experience on getting cheated on).  You don't have to be open about your sexuality for put yourself out there to be sexy.     You should be yourself and not let anyone sway your opinion of your choices this way or that.  Good girls are awesome in my opinion :)

imfierceyessir · Answer

Ok so one thing I've understood with guys and maybe you have too

is that GUYS at their young age of life..lets say 20-25 ish they intend to play around alot

with the bad girls..so basically their all about sleeping with chicks here or there ( and ofcourse not all guys do this) BUT when guys want to settle down ..do you think they go and settle with a trashy girl ? NO they pick the good girl to take home to their mom :)

Guys don't like good girls ?

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