Why are girls so shallow and picky in guys?

Girls these days are 5 times more shallow and picky than guys are. Don't you think so? I truly believe that women are more picky than men b men are the ones who get a bad rep. True they are visual but women are even more superficial when it comes to looks.

Men will be attracted to most women just because they are women. That is no mystery. Even if a woman is average or homely even...most men will find a woman attractive just because she is a woman. If a woman has even one physical attribute, most men will find her sexy.

But the opposite is not true for women. They put much more emphasis on the way a man looks facially than men do. Women only go weak in the knees for truly model perfect, men with chiseled faces. If a man is ugly or even average...unless he has money or power...MOST women won't find him attractive at all. "Nice Guy" is code for average or ugly. Men truly get a bad rep for being shallow when it comes to looks...

But I truly believe men are much more accepting and easy in finding more women attractive. While women are much more picky and perfectionist. And not only about looks. But money and career too. There is so much pressure on men. Women have the power sexually. At least until a certain age.

Men don't want models. That is a fallacy. Women and gay men control the fashion industry, and put pressure on themselves. Sadly most women try to land the "hot guy" when they are young. As they get older, they try to land the "rich AND hot guy". Then they just try for the "rich guy".

This is why you see almost every girl, including really fat and out of shape ones getting attention from a guy here and there but for guy even if he is not bad and decent looking barely gets any attention from girls. There are fat and completely unattractive women who completely ignore guys of their level (fat and completely attractive men) for better. Whereas those men won't mind going out with them in a heartbeat.

So after writing all this, I just wanna know the answer from you girls. Why are most of you, if not all, so damn shallow and picky?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with you in the sense that they're more shallow and selective, but not in the looks department. Girls barely care about what a guy looks. It's more about how the guy makes her feel and what he's like. But this is the big problem.

    They're attracted to the most weird and retarded kind of guys: Guys who treat them like crap. Guys who make the girl feel like sh*t. Guys who give off the impression like she's not good enough. Have you ever heard a saying that talks about a relationship without any fighting is an unhealthy relationship? Well, that's why. It has nothing to do with working out your problems. It's because if the man treats the woman like she's perfect, and worthy, and deserving of him, she's gonna get bored and leave him for someone who isn't so caring. At least most women do.

    And the sad thing is that they don't even realize this. That's the most pathetic thing about this. They THINK they want caring, nice guys who treat them right, but in the end they never give guys like that a chance. I'm sick and tired of seeing girls with douchebags, and when I ask them why they like the guy, I get answers like: "Oh I don't know..." or "It's hard to explain, he's just so perfect...". The only thing that's perfect is how he uses her insecurities to make her stay with him, because jerks know that the more you put women down, the more they end up liking you somehow.

    Not all women are like this, obviously. But this is what I like to call "shallow" behavior in women. Instead of giving the nice, caring guys who truly care about them a chance, they go for the jerks who don't give a sh*t. This is just like a guy picking a really hot girl who is a total bitch/slut, over the average girl with an awesome personality. That's what shallow is. For girls, it has nothing to do with looks, but more to do with attitude. It's all made possible because girls make way too many assumptions when it comes to guys. Instead of looking at the guy himself, they look at everything else.

    It's the reason why you don't see guys being able to pick up girls if they go out to clubs by themselves. If they're alone, they're creepy. If they're with friends, only then they're "approachable". WTF is this? It's girls, and their shallow head. Why do you think guys become so much more attractive to girls when they aren't single anymore? Because girls want what other girls want? Why is this? Again, shallowness. There's plenty of cases like this, some more retarded than the ones I've mentioned, but they all show how shallow girls can be. Geez, all guys want is a girl who takes care of herself and a nice personality. No big boobs required. No perfect body necessary. And it doesn't matter how many friends she has with her when you meet her, or how many guys are asking her out all the time. Looks DO matter for guys, yes. But at least we don't discriminate on that as much as girls discriminate on bullsh*t factors.

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    • Wow, this is so SO true! Good, good answer!

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    • 27d

      @Calypso_Storm It doesn't have to be everything but it does have to be sufficient. Beauty is relative and so is Ugly. A beautiful woman doesn't have to be America's Next Top Model or a waitress from Hooters. There has to be some kind of balance.

    • 27d

      @Loveless27665 ironically those occurrences transform us into emotionless beings.

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What Girls Said 22

  • bs. I think these guys think they look for homely girls but honestly no one pays attention to the shy quite ones. no one considers them. it also depends on personality, I've known many guys on my level and well above it.. and they were either annoying as hell, or just to much like friends. I've dated guys who are attrative, in great shape, good jobs, nice cars... but their personalities are crap so I over look them. I'm not in great shape.. I'm not huge but I'm not great. and from the female point YES you men ARE shallow. I've had men around my size and bigger pass me by because they're shallow. even ones who have told me to my face.

    get off your high horse and open your eyes. maybe you get pushed aside for your personality. or your going for shallow girls. don't group all women together cause you get burned.

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    • Damn how many times do I have to say this. Sure guys aren't all prince charming but what I mean is the number of shallow and picky girls to number of shallow and picky guys is much higher. And you talk about "shy quite ones". How in hell would shy quite girls get attention if they are too shy and quiet. They leave off the impression that they aren't interested in guys at all. And I believe that if a guy is shy and quite he doesn't deserve to get attention from girls at all like they already do.

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    • When I see guys making immature load sounds at clubs or walking to the night life I say to myself no wonder I come alone and it must be really hard for women to have to make a selection among such immature idiots. Yes you ladies have it tough.

    • 3mo

      @orrm1234 ever heard of spell check?

  • Science can explain this one. Women are pickier than men since they exist, and there's a reason. Imagine all the time and effort and pain it took for woman to have children in the ancient times. 9 months carrying a baby, some more breastfeeding and taking care of it, until she could have another baby. The man must be worth all this time and pain! Their genes MUST be worth being passed forward! Men are less picky because they could impregnate literally hundreds of woman in a year, and it's so easy and pleasurable for them.

    It's the natural selection. Without it we wouldn't be here.

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  • Nature intended for men to spread their genes as far and wide as possible, so they are more interested in sex and are less picky. Women, on the other hand, have to choose carefully who they allow to impregnate them because giving birth and raising a child takes a lot of energy and resources. So they are more likely to pick a physically stronger man with better income. Even if it's just dating, those rules apply. That's how it works with most species - males try to impress females. And it's not "shallow", it's a part of evolution.

    Also, SURPRISE - not all women care about the same things. There are many women out there, who actually date (and MARRY) men who aren't rich or "hot guys", but have some other valuable properties, like loyalty, integrity, intelligence and strong morals, something many people lack nowadays.

    Contrary to what you'd like to believe, despite being driven by similar instincts, we aren't all the same.

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  • I do not reject guys out of hand. For me to say no to hanging out or a single date, has to be a good reason. I believe in fair chances.

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  • Lots of generalizations here…

    Not ALL girls just want a hot guy. Not all women want a hot rich guy. Not all guys will go for a female just because she's female. Not all girls go for a guy who treats them like dirt. A guy who treats me that way just blew every chance he had with me, no matter how good looking he is.

    I think the superficial attraction goes both ways - guys do it and girls do it. You've made a generalization about gals superficially going for hot guys and then said that guys don't do that when it comes to girls. That is your perception. In the perception of many girls, guys mainly go for the best looking women. So now we're talking about your perception of women and their perception of you. Both perceptions are probably somewhat true and somewhat false, depending on individual people.

    I'm much more interested in guys who are intelligent and classy/act professionally. This means I'd pick an average guy who is intelligent and classy over a hot guy who isn't those things. It also means your generalization is inaccurate. So please don't generalize. And realize that your generalizations are based on your perception, which is incomplete/inaccurate, at least when you try to apply it to all women.

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    • Not ALL guys just want a supermodel or a girl with big boobs or butts!!

    • According to an okcupid survey, 80% of men are below average in looks according to women. That doesn't really match up with men an women being equally shallow. It does show that while most men find women to be average ( near perfect bell curve, slightly more attractive women then less) they do tend to go after the best looking, which I would say is due to social pressures, that said most men will be happy to seddle for less than perfect ( I have seen it), the problem is that it is increasingly apparent that women are becoming more and more shallow rather than remaining consistent as your view would suggest. That is simply not the case, this is a serious social issue and the fact that we attempt to deflect ( by saying that guys are just as shallow as girls, which statisticly they clearly are not) or trivialize it by suggesting its biological and their fore out of our hands just exacerbates the problem. Its more to do with culture rather than some preordained truth of human nature.

    • Also by not acknowledging the general selfish and mean spiritedness of the shallowness by saying not all girls are like that you are, whether intentionaly or not, condoning the action. As the Initial question pointed out if a man is shallow he is immediatley called out and shamed, if a women is shallow we get "not all women are like that" which is not a condemnation of the act, but a side stepping of the issue. "all that is needed for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." or in this case for good women to not call out bad women on their behaviour.

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What Guys Said 24

  • Males are equally picky. This is natural selection at work.

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  • I'm just gonna be that guy and defend the gals here. I think YOU have to stop being a dick about girls being shallow. Guys are just as shallow. Not more shallow, not less shallow. WE are human. We ARE shallow. Deal with it. There's nobody to blame.

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  • This a is a fun read.

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  • Maybe you should talk to some of the women who never get asked out, aren't considered pretty by prevailing beauty standards, etc. You might have something in common. E. g. humanity.

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  • I don't know. It seems to me that most men put a lot of value on appearance, whereas a lot of women tend to care more about things like nice shoes, new cars, a big house, lots of money, etc. Men are more shallow when it comes to aesthetics. Women are more shallow in a materialistic kind of way. It's because their maternal instinct drives them to seek a mate who can provide for her and her offspring.

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