Why are girls so shallow and picky in guys?

Girls these days are 5 times more shallow and picky than guys are. Don't you think so? I truly believe that women are more picky than men b men are the ones who get a bad rep. True they are visual but women are even more superficial when it comes to looks. Men will be attracted to most women just because they are women. That is no mystery. Even if a woman is average or homely even...most men will find a woman attractive just because she is a woman. If a woman has even one physical attribute, most men will find her sexy.But the opposite is not true for women. They put much more emphasis on the way a man looks facially than men do. Women only go weak in the knees for truly model perfect, men with chiseled faces. If a man is ugly or even average...unless he has money or power...MOST women won't find him attractive at all. "Nice Guy" is code for average or ugly. Men truly get a bad rep for being shallow when it comes to looks...But I truly believe men are much more accepting and easy in finding more women attractive. While women are much more picky and perfectionist. And not only about looks. But money and career too. There is so much pressure on men. Women have the power sexually. At least until a certain age. Men don't want models. That is a fallacy. Women and gay men control the fashion industry, and put pressure on themselves. Sadly most women try to land the "hot guy" when they are young. As they get older, they try to land the "rich AND hot guy". Then they just try for the "rich guy".This is why you see almost every girl, including really fat and out of shape ones getting attention from a guy here and there but for guy even if he is not bad and decent looking barely gets any attention from girls. There are fat and completely unattractive women who completely ignore guys of their level (fat and completely attractive men) for better. Whereas those men won't mind going out with them in a heartbeat. So after writing all this, I just wanna know the answer from you girls. Why are most of you, if not all, so damn shallow and picky?

What's Your Opinion?


Most Helpful Opinion

  • I agree with you in the sense that they're more shallow and selective, but not in the looks department. Girls barely care about what a guy looks. It's more about how the guy makes her feel and what he's like. But this is the big problem.They're attracted to the most weird and retarded kind of guys: Guys who treat them like crap. Guys who make the girl feel like sh*t. Guys who give off the impression like she's not good enough. Have you ever heard a saying that talks about a relationship without any fighting is an unhealthy relationship? Well, that's why. It has nothing to do with working out your problems. It's because if the man treats the woman like she's perfect, and worthy, and deserving of him, she's gonna get bored and leave him for someone who isn't so caring. At least most women do.And the sad thing is that they don't even realize this. That's the most pathetic thing about this. They THINK they want caring, nice guys who treat them right, but in the end they never give guys like that a chance. I'm sick and tired of seeing girls with douchebags, and when I ask them why they like the guy, I get answers like: "Oh I don't know..." or "It's hard to explain, he's just so perfect...". The only thing that's perfect is how he uses her insecurities to make her stay with him, because jerks know that the more you put women down, the more they end up liking you somehow.Not all women are like this, obviously. But this is what I like to call "shallow" behavior in women. Instead of giving the nice, caring guys who truly care about them a chance, they go for the jerks who don't give a sh*t. This is just like a guy picking a really hot girl who is a total bitch/slut, over the average girl with an awesome personality. That's what shallow is. For girls, it has nothing to do with looks, but more to do with attitude. It's all made possible because girls make way too many assumptions when it comes to guys. Instead of looking at the guy himself, they look at everything else.It's the reason why you don't see guys being able to pick up girls if they go out to clubs by themselves. If they're alone, they're creepy. If they're with friends, only then they're "approachable". WTF is this? It's girls, and their shallow head. Why do you think guys become so much more attractive to girls when they aren't single anymore? Because girls want what other girls want? Why is this? Again, shallowness. There's plenty of cases like this, some more retarded than the ones I've mentioned, but they all show how shallow girls can be. Geez, all guys want is a girl who takes care of herself and a nice personality. No big boobs required. No perfect body necessary. And it doesn't matter how many friends she has with her when you meet her, or how many guys are asking her out all the time. Looks DO matter for guys, yes. But at least we don't discriminate on that as much as girls discriminate on bullsh*t factors.

    • Wow, this is so SO true! Good, good answer!

    • Show Older
    • Sharonstark so what you are saying that thousands of years ago and what our ancisters did you our being bastards to modern day men who are what you have told us to be, I honestly think wimen prefered what you say back then to a caring guy of today, ure weird lust hungry creatures, I personally wish everyone was single then I would have my brothers back what wicked women stole, and I feel for them they got to do what the bitch says otherwise he's in a flat only gets to see kids what they love at weekend whilst u get to move your new fuck into his house whats he's still paying for seeing his kids everyday, but yes your right its a mans world.

    • 2mo

      Girls get what they incentive. Hence why so many girls make threads even on this site "every guy just wants sex!" or "where are all the good guys!" They don't realize they've made their bed, now they have to sleep in it...

What Girls Said 11

  • Its funny because girls have said the same thing about men. Don't we all feel that way. Not all of us are like that I promise it seems as if this has become a material world. It also seems as if what is seen on TV etc. Is what people want. I am far from being shallow I think we all have something beautiful about are self's and no one is perfect. Like I say if your good looking and cocky and a ass hole then your ugly to me :) I have dated over weight men before and men with acne.

    • You girls have 6 times less gray matter than men. There's no arguing .. men are superior and what we say is final. Women just LISTEN! don't argue! Women - can't open car doors, no innovations, always want this and that ... never give, always about there problems and family .. never can think how to solve mankinds problem, can't lift anything more than their shopping bags - ONLY we men have to lift cargo, do construction, build roads houses everything we DO .. and you want equal fekking RIGHTS

    • I use to have acne and I'm still overweight...hope you find me and select me

  • bs. I think these guys think they look for homely girls but honestly no one pays attention to the shy quite ones. no one considers them. it also depends on personality, I've known many guys on my level and well above it.. and they were either annoying as hell, or just to much like friends. I've dated guys who are attrative, in great shape, good jobs, nice cars... but their personalities are crap so I over look them. I'm not in great shape.. I'm not huge but I'm not great. and from the female point YES you men ARE shallow. I've had men around my size and bigger pass me by because they're shallow. even ones who have told me to my face. get off your high horse and open your eyes. maybe you get pushed aside for your personality. or your going for shallow girls. don't group all women together cause you get burned.

    • Damn how many times do I have to say this. Sure guys aren't all prince charming but what I mean is the number of shallow and picky girls to number of shallow and picky guys is much higher. And you talk about "shy quite ones". How in hell would shy quite girls get attention if they are too shy and quiet. They leave off the impression that they aren't interested in guys at all. And I believe that if a guy is shy and quite he doesn't deserve to get attention from girls at all like they already do.

    • Show Older
    • too much like friends AS IN they had known me since I was little and were like FAMILY there for WERE NOT INTERESTED! They were the ones not giving ME a chance. so no this is NOT what you're talking about. I'm with a decent guy now ya know... a year after this was posted, so your a bit late. by the way and I STILL think this is BS. just the kettle calling the pot black. ~ Simonehearts <3

    • When I see guys making immature load sounds at clubs or walking to the night life I say to myself no wonder I come alone and it must be really hard for women to have to make a selection among such immature idiots. Yes you ladies have it tough.

  • Science can explain this one. Women are pickier than men since they exist, and there's a reason. Imagine all the time and effort and pain it took for woman to have children in the ancient times. 9 months carrying a baby, some more breastfeeding and taking care of it, until she could have another baby. The man must be worth all this time and pain! Their genes MUST be worth being passed forward! Men are less picky because they could impregnate literally hundreds of woman in a year, and it's so easy and pleasurable for them.
    It's the natural selection. Without it we wouldn't be here.

  • I don't think I am that shallow and picky. To be honest, I dated men who I didn't find perfectly handsome, I mean, they looked fine, but they had a great personality! On the other hand though, it was my ex who told me to lose weight! He's like uhmm...I think your thighs are a bit thick! OMG, that was very depressing...coming from someone I really liked... My dad and my brother told me to lose weight as well! I weight 120.. -.- I never thought it was a problem. I do need someone who I at least find pleasing to the eye, or attractive. Adversely, many women find what I find attractive unattractive! I like guys with a baby face, etc etc..Looks only wouldn't do of course, he must have a great personality. I wouldn't choose a man who is too hot because he'd be intimidating, and I'd be too nervous to even approach him or be near him. (Im a very shy guy when it comes to that). I wouldn't feel secure if he were too hot, I mean...how many girls are after him..-.-...I rather pick someone who is applealing to the eye and adorable inside.

    • I love big thighs in a woman. don't listen to this idiot that you really liked and can't appreciate a woman's body. Dump his skinny ass.

  • I am neither shallow nor picky. My husband falls under the category of average looking. He is nowhere near a "truly perfect model" you say girls want. He has no money or power. He works at a minimum wage job at the bottom of the corporate ladder.I have been rejected by numerous guys for being too ugly. It had nothing to do with personality, but I was not hot enough for them, so they refused to even get to know me. Based on my experiences, you are completely off base. It's the other way around.

    • Other way around what. The ratio of guys being ignored by girls due to their looks or money to girls being ignored by guys due to their looks is staggering. Girls are far more and shallow and picky than guys. By the way I meant most. There are exceptions here and there but too hard to find.

    • Show Older
    • 2mo


    • 2mo

      And well said Sab3rtooth

  • Men are much more shallow than women. Yes, women can be shallow, but men are much more shallow by far. This is because in order for a man to like a woman, she must be attractive to him. But in order for a woman to like a man, he does not have to be attractive. Women are attracted to a multitude of different things, & as long as a guy has one of these qualities, she will love him unconditionally, even if he's ugly. Yes, most women start off wanting an attractive man, but women grow up & see so many other qualities are more important. It takes men a longer time to realize this, & a good percentage of them never do. And if you want proof, look at society. You will always see men looking at pretty women, spending their money on pretty women, & dating pretty women. But women are always dating men who are unattractive, even when that woman is attractive herself. Men just can't get past looks, but women are usually over looks by 17 or 18.

    • Women are shallow in money, height, muscles, etc. While men are just shallow in looks. Shallowness in money is the worst shallowness trait. Looks are natural based but using a guy for money so you won't have to work in a society where even women work now because they are equal, women are definitely more shallow.

    • Incorrect.Most women are shallow on looks but most of them change when they are in their mid to late twenties.

  • 2mo

    The fact that men will for someone even "homely" looking and women will not does NOT prove that women are shallow. It would prove that men are desperate.
    And for the record, I know very very few men (if any at all? ) that would go for any woman and be attracted to her JUST because she's a woman.
    Any man who is like that, is extremely desperate and has no standards. That's not our fault. Most men and women have standards. Imagine if a girl said what you said "we're atttacted to every man, even if they're homely looking, just because he's a man. " wtf? It sounds even nore desperate like that.
    And no. You said that women only want models with chiseled faces and bodies. What the hell are you talking about? if girls only wanted that type of guy, we'd all be single because there's so few men like that. If you're not getting female attention, why blame the females?
    That's what a lot of guys do. If they can't get a date or sex or a certain girl, they say there's something wrong with all women.
    That's far from the case. And if you go through some of these questions, men can be really picky. Mostly about body. I've seen guys call women of a healthy weight fat, or say thin women don't even look like women, or bash small breasts, etc.
    Men and women generally want a certain looking partner. If you're okay with ANYTHING that comes your way then you're desperate and that's no one else's fault

  • 2mo

    I agree, I am actually shallow and ashamed of it. There are guys who are just so kind to me and care but I am not feeling anything romantic with them. Instead I chose the gorgeous guy with a decent personality but he doesn't express his feelings. I admit I am shallow to an extent, because if a guy is a complete jerk (like my friends ex who asked me out) I would just drop him. But I feel so bad that I don't want anything more with the guy who cares if I don't feel a bit of lust. I am so sorry and trust me I am ashamed of myself.

    • 2mo

      You are not obligated to date someone you have no attraction to.

    • Show Older
    • 6d

      And speaking from personal experience, all these people bemoaning shallowness probably had opportunities that they passed up, because turns out they also have preferences.

    • 6d

      Well thank you very much. It makes me feel better knowing I am not so shallow. I just can't get over some guy who teases me sometimes and it makes me feel bad because I feel I only like him for his looks. I do love him laugh and some personality, just not the part that insults me.

  • Haha Funny coming from a guy.

  • link Read the male's answers in this question, & you'll see men are just as shallow, if not more.

  • that is a complete lie, first of all women are not one large monolith with one collective thought. what's good looking to one girl is completely ugly to another. take robert pattinson. there are girls who go KRAZY for this guy but I find him very unattractive. the type of guys I go for, my best friend finds lukewarm at best. yeah everyone is attracted to hot people but most people are average. that's why its called "average". there are a few outliers (ugly people and hot people) but most of us are average.there are PLENTY of average women who would be interested in an average or even unattractive guy, especially if he's a Quality man because MOST women are average looking and most women are looking for quality men. The BULK of ALL women are average looking. That's what AVERAGE means. Yet so many men are searching for the next hot trophy girlfriend. and I know this because I see how so many average and ugly looking girls I know never get attention or asked out by guys. yeah some guys might want to fk them if they're going through a dry spell but that's about it. So, I don't have any sympathy for you. With all of the quality women available, you could find a good woman if your realistic & serious.i've seen more fat and unattractive girls without dates because even fat and unattractive guys often want prettier girls. most men might HAVE SEX with an ugly woman just because she has a warm hole, but as far as dating her, being in a relationship with her, and introducing her to friends...yeah right lol. I had a friend in high school that was like 5'3 260 pounds but had a really pretty face and dressed nicely. no guy would date her and she was picked on all the time. and the guys she did hook up with would make fun of her behind her back and not publicly acknowledge her. and no these werent the "hot alpha male good looking guys" they were actually rather average. I tried to give her some advice and tell her to stop messing with guys like that, but she didn't have very many options.Your screen name is UglyGuy so I'm gonna assume that you're ugly. not just average looking, or not the best looking guy but ugly and you probably have low confidence to boot. so instead of complaining about how shallow and picky girls are, stop feeling sorry for yourself and work on what you can change and you could attract girls.most of the girls that are extremely "picky" as you put it and hyper discerning are the hot girls that 90% of guys want. they can afford to be picky and shallow because they have first pick on guys. your statement was a complete lie sorry. if every girl ranging from the ugly fat girls to the hottest of the hot does not want a certain guy it is most likely NOT his looks that they are turned off by. most women are not attracted to a guy who is whining and feeling sorry for himself on a regular basis. it shows that your insecure, not confident and makes you look less masculine. like I said, work on that

    • Ok. I agree with you. A lot of guys are like that but no way can you say I'm wrong. How can you point all the negativities of these guys by ignoring the common negativities of girls? What a biased hypocrite.

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    • HIS FREAKIN USERNAME IS "UGLYGUY"!!!! Obviously I'm gonna put 2 and 2 together, combine his choice of username with this question and it's safe to say he probably isn't that good looking, even he knows this. Also what's up with low confident guys thinking that anyone with confidence has to be a douche? There is a difference between being a cocky douche and being a fun confident person people want to be around. Duh that's what most girls like.

    • 2mo

      Yeah, girls aren't attracted to whining and feeling sorry for himself and all that shit. Because when a man is feeling insecure or unconfident, WHERE'S THE 'WOMAN'S' ROLE IN LIFTING HIM UP? NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!!! What about her kicking him when he's down. MORE PRESENT THAN THE AIR WE BREATHE!!!

What Guys Said 11

  • 6d

    Maybe you should talk to some of the women who never get asked out, aren't considered pretty by prevailing beauty standards, etc. You might have something in common. E. g. humanity.

  • 2mo

    Shallowness and pickiness are contradictory. Someone who is very selective is more likely to look at the complete person, and someone who isn't selective will settle just for looks (because it is just for short term )

  • One other thing I have been hearing/creeping up in conversations among women that even though we are in a recession and it's beyond extremely tough to get a job and with layoffs rampant and no fault of our own that you were laid off. Women bring up that she want's and demands a guy with a job, career. Um yeah NO effin shi*! While your bi*chin to your girlfriends (were educated, college grads, have had our jobs and were laid the eff off), were desperately trying to find our jobs! So back the eff off when we say we were laid off, looking for our jobs, interviewing or taking some job just for the "mean" time until we get into our jobs. Were looking, it's not as though we were laid off and so we just gave up and not looking. We effin want our jobs, every single day were looking, applying, trying to get an interview and were busting our a**es to find our jobs! So relax women CHILL out when men that were laid off ask you out. Plus it's not just US men that are being laid off, women are just as easily being laid off and yes a lot of men want a lady that is educated and has a good job. But we understand the ECONOMY, we understand it's obviously hard and your working as a waitress, bar tender, retail until you find a job just like us men. Were in the same boat! I also think women just like to obviously BITC*/say shi* about shi* but that's about it just bitchin* and not really seriously. I think women bitching to women is a lot like men friends BS to men friends.

    • Time and time again I am 35 honestly im very good looking not being big headed in a way its my downfall. Its gets me girls but I get used every time dumped and they move on to the bad guy. Its really effected me almost to the point where I wish I was gay ha.
      I used to beat myself think why im a good lad, gud body, good in bed (i am) Im really starting to believe girls dont care if your good looking good in bed if you would be a good dad, even the size of your willy, they want what they carnt have like you said why is it they go after men what are taken, and there definitely money oriantated wimen in general are horrible creatures. What really makes me angry when they moan no decent men, moan about the bastard she choose over decent guy. For guys like me im screwed not got much money confidence shot from years of rejection, dont think I could go on a date again. Its a womens and rich mans world everyone else is screwed

  • 2mo

    Ok there prob just ducking with us and there playing hard to get SOME not ALL

  • 23d

    Absolutely, I think things have shifted over the past 10-20 years. Women look for different things in a man than they used to. Looks have become the most important factor for women choosing a mate. Most guys fit within the normal range, but if you are a facially unattractive guy, life will suck. Just accept a diminished quality of life and that you will likely wind up alone. Women will treat men with an unattractive face similar to how men treat obese women. In fact worse in some circumstances, if an unattractive woman makes an unreciprocated advance on a man, normally he won't go about shaming her and putting her down for it, not publicly at least. If an unattractive man is so much as friendly with a woman that finds him unattractive he will be labeled as a 'creep', 'loser', or even worse. It's like being unattractive automatically makes him less than human.

  • 3mo

    There is power in the word "Bitch" if we like to admit it or not There is power in the word "Bastard" if we like to admit it or not. No woman wants a guy that will take her pet puppy outside and bash it to death but thats exactly what they throw themselves at and No man wants a woman who drips down her leg another mans cum but thats exactly what men throw themselves at... its a messed up world.

  • Fussy girls

  • 2mo

    i think we all are to an extent, but they have to be more picky since they carry a baby for 9 months, even though we have the pill now that doesn't change thousands of years of evolution!

  • 2mo

    One word Feminism.

  • "No perfect body necessary"?! I call BS on that. I think the reason women are becoming more selective is because we are tired of just settling for anyone. Oh the word "settling" is becoming a bad, really bad word with women these days and men are effin sick and tired of women coining the term "settling" as such a bad thing. Women these days are using the term "settling" these days are like oh no no no I will never "settle", I won't settle for anything less then "perfect" or she tell all her Girlfriend he must be all this and meet this huge enormous list before I even think of "settling" and then the friends tell all her GF's don't ever settle but always hold out. Gawd men are SICK and effin TIRED of women bashing the word "settling" and think it's this gawd awful thing to "settle". WOMEN LISTEN UP YOU ARE NOT EFFIN MEN! It's a pure and simple FACT men can be bachelors a lot a hell of a lot longer than YOU! Get the eff over it women when your parents start asking you about marriage, you better not be too PICKY, yes WOMEN it's a pure and SIMPLE fact you have start thinking about MARRIAGE around 27, 28, 29 to 30ish cause your biological clock is TICKING!

  • I completely agree... One of the BIGGEST things women are SOOO overly picky about even though a lot of women deny it is men's HEIGHT! Single women constantly say oh height is no big deal. OH REALLY? Then why a lot of you women in the range of like 5'0"to like 5'5" constantly say or put out there that you only will date a man that is at minimum in the 6' range but preferably much taller like a whole effin foot taller or more. Don't start saying the so lame excuse of cause I like to wear high heels and I don't want him to be shorter then me! Really? So a guy that is in your stupid standard a whole effin foot taller than you, you think with your heels your going to be taller than him? Plus seriously women you seriously don't wear high heels every single day 7 days a week! Women don't wear high heels for just casual and if you do we sure as he** don't want to hear you bitc* when your heels make your feet hurt. That's your damn fault! If your high heels hurt your feet then common since is don't effin wear your high heels! Single women these days are so overly obsessed with men's height and they try and make their case but can't ever BACK UP the height issue. Single women when asked about men's height they usually say some stupid BS like (I don't know I guess just cause I like height, I like tall men, another completely stupid a** answer a lot of women say is I like tall men cause of "protection"!) OK protection from what? Seriously from the eff what? Women think that the taller he must just must automatically be oh so "strong", single women these days think "protection" must mean from fights! What effin adults get's into fights these days? Unless your oh so tall Boyfriend is a complete "LOSER" get's into fights. Grown adults do not get into fights, unless he's a punk, deadbeat or loser. So when she breaks up with her oh so tall Boyfriend she must then need a bodyguard since she said she feels protected!Ok yes women these days are SOOOOOO overly picky and shallow when it comes to men and has gotten so much worse even in the last 3 to 5 years women are so much more adamant that he must be this and this and this and this and the list could literally go on and on and on and... Maybe a lot of these women with these ENORMOUS yes for some women don't deny it you have these absolutely ENORMOUS check list and are so adamant that he meets all these stupid requirements. Most of the list is SUPERFICIAL and NO MAN is going to meet all her "requirements"! Then these women get so pisse* when she can't find any guy and is constantly told she has to lose most of her superficial list! There is no such thing as "PERFECT" man, nor is there anything that is ever absolutely "PERFECT"! The women that are always trying to look for that "PERFECT" and wonder why she can't ever find something is cause first of all obviously she's only kidding herself about thinking there is a "perfect" and second she's trying to hide her imperfections by looking and having this enormous "list".