Why is it that guys have to work so hard to get girls?

All girls have to do is look somewhat attractive and they will get a guy. Even an ugly girl can get a guy if she puts herself out there. Guys have to dress right and have the perfect personality and such, and if they don't meet those standards, they are left alone. If girls put themselves out there some guy will come up to them, even if it's a drunk frat boy.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I couldn't finish my other posting...will repeat here and add:

    @Timeandtimeagain...WOW...finally a guy that makes sense! Thank you!Guys have NO idea how hard it is to look good...it takes preperation and work...the hair must be colored and cut, they must have nice clothes and accessories, must work out to assure they are not fat, not eat for the same reason, get their nails done, take care of the hair (down-there) situation, get great underwear and bras that match...that is all before going out..the night it self...wash with soap that smells really good so that the guy notice, do your hair (takes about 1 hour to 2 hours depending on the girl), do your make-up (20-40 minutes depending on the girl), find an outfit that is classy but sexy but not trashy and yet simple (we are dressing for guys), must wear heels because guys have NO idea how much they hurt but insist (i've seen it on this site) that a girl needs to wear heels, make sure you go out with hot girls because then the guys will not look in your direction (I have lived that situation) but be sure they are not too hot so you still stand out, go to the right club, pay for the entery (after paying for your hair, clothes, shoes, make-up, waxing, nails, gym, bars and undies which can easily come up to 500$ for one of each...these things must be repeated a couple times per month) and then buy a drink and just be pretty...sooo please re-thing how easy we got it by just being pretty...it's not easy and definitely not cheap...

    On the other hand, you say we can get any guy we want ...sure...but it not quality guys, and like someone else said...if you say no to the jerk, he moves on to your friend...what a catch right! Soo we need to weed out the good from bad guys (while being pretty), refuse those nasty jerks, keep a good reputation, stay clean (std wise) and try to see who is only looking to fcuk and who is actually talking to you to know you...not as easy as it seems to you guys...sooo the only thing we want from you is to try and approach us...that is too much for you? Really...good luck being married, with kids!

    • Well it seems like even if I try my hardest I can't get high quality girls! also, I don't really care if a girl does that. If she's attractive, I don't care what she looks like with make up or how she dresses (for the most part, I don't want her to dress slutty), honestly we coudl care less. Yes it is nice when you do, but you don't have to. If you want to that's fine but I honestly don't care, and a lot of guys don't

    • Show All
    • Girls getting a boyfriend or entering a relationship is a choice, for us guys getting a girlfriend and entering a relationship is a chore

    • It's easier for you girls

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Would you date someone younger/older/married?

What Girls Said 50

  • I actually don't say anything at all. I am so quiet and shy that I rarely am ever hit on. I think it just depends on the person. Now that I am older, I have learned that some of the things that we have on our list or whatever, they can be ignored. If the guy is really cool and the chemistry is there, then the small stuff shouldn't matter. I look at people who aren't the greatest looking, but they have boyfriends and yet I don't get one hello. I have learned to say f*** it and there are more important things in life.

  • Hey, if all you care about is if the girl is somewhat attractive and nothing else matters to you, that is your deal. I actually care about whether a guy is not only attractive in my eyes, but how he treats others, whether he is reasonably confident, cares about his career, is financially responsible, dresses like he realizes it is 2010, not 1970, is fit and healthy and shares my sense of humor. There are other standards I have as well. They way I see it, I am happy on my own, so the only way I am going to go into a relationship is with a guy who really is worth it, not just a cute guy who I have nothing else in common with.

    Oh, and your example about the drunk frat boy is all about sex. So, yes, a lot of guys will have sex with pretty much any girl regardless of whether they would want a relationship with her, especially if they are drunk. It has nothing to do with "getting" the girl or the guy.

  • This is a funny question because girls ask the exact same question -- why do I have to work so hard to get the guy's attention? (That's second to "Where have all the cowboys gone?")

    Your conception of how easy it is for girls to get a guy is a little askew. If a girl sets her eyes on home plate and keeps getting guys that can't run to first, what has she gained? Nothing... She's on a losing streak.

    Guys and girls with similar personalities and interests are supposed to attract each other. Period.

    With girls, it's more socially acceptable to wear a flashy accessory, flip the hair, etc. Body language and communication are expected. With guys, flashy accessorizing doesn't make the same impression, so more emphasis is placed on personality (particularly the Alpha Male quality) and general looks.

    Note that only the "party girls" who are not worth a gentleman's time are interested in the drunk frat boy. A lady is looking for something more substantial. I'm not talking rings and wedding bells, but a good guy with a sense of humor and a clear set of interests, etc. You don't want to hang out with someone boring; neither does she...

  • You are so wrong. Girls have a tough time too and we get rejected all the time. Especially after having sex with the guy and then feeling like crap because your female hormones makes you attached to that a**hole.

  • There are many many girls who would disagree with you my friend. And I know a lot of scary lookin gutter crawlers who have women. Ever watch Jerry Springer?

    In general however, it's nature. Males usually always have to work hard to get the female. No matter the animal or insect or bug or whatever.

    • Well if you are referencing to animals, at least humans aren't spiders, where the black widow female devours the male after mating, haha.

    • Anyways, that's a really fun way to get rid of the responsibility and shun all the responsibility onto everyone else. :) People can disobey the rules of nature, they have the ability. Haven't you realized this? You have the ability to suppress your emotions (natural reactions), feelings, urges, and all this dread. Therefore you have the ability to start working on getting a boyfriend if you want one, because you CAN. And you are not obligated to follow Nature in this aspect, as you have choice.

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What Guys Said 23

  • The double standards haven't really weakened that much Girls are still prizes to be won quite often, and there are a lot of requirements to even enter the contest. That's why guys try to get girls drunk, so they'll forget all those rules!

    In a word, you're right, guys are expected to jump through all sorts of hoops by MOST girsl still today, whle a girl just has to be out there. No real requirements for her.

  • If it weren't difficult for the guys the girls would get the reputation of being 'easy' and no girl really wants that stamp.

  • There there. =p You're being biased now. It's not that simple for girls either. They have to be pretty, and that takes a lot of effort most of the time. Being pretty is their way of "working hard". I know it sounds unfair, but that's just the way life is.

    I agree with the perfect personality thing though. If a guy doesn't fit a certain stereotype, girls just won't be attracted to them. All a girl has to be for a guy is pretty. Their personality is important too, but it can be a lot of MANY thing, and the guy will still like her. But for girls, no - the guy must be rich, confident, successful, sociable, and a bunch of other sh*t. If he isn't, the girl can't be attracted to him. Pretty sad.

    • When you're younger that's true - as you get older not so much. Guys who will put up with a braindead loser girl because she's good looking start to think better of it, just like girls who only go for a guy who's SIX FOOT BLOND etc etc get over themselves and start looking elsewhere. And while dating is easier for girls than guys because of all the BS rules that have been introduced the past 10 years it doesn't mean any girl can just go out and get a decent guy whenever she wants too.

    • @Timeandtimeagain...WOW...finally a guy that makes sense!!! Thank you!!!Guys have NO idea how hard it is to look good...it takes preperation and work...the hair must be colored and cut, they must have nice clothes and accessories, must work out to assure they are not fat, not eat for the same reason, get their nails done, take care of the hair (down-there) situation, get great underwear and bras that match...that is all before going out..the night it self...wash with soap that smells really good

    • We also put time & effort into looking good. We work out at the gym, put on cologne, shave, keep our teeth pearly white, so when we smile we attract women's attention. We also have to take care of our pubic hair; we don't want that going into a woman's mouth.

      I have to put time and effort into buying clothes that help express myself and stand out; I wasn't born with good looks. I have to do that in order to get women's attention. I'm also going to buy the newest Mustang to help me get noticed.

  • Don't forget that we chase them and they get to choose which one they want. When it comes to s*x it still is her choice. The clothes and the car do help us. But look at it this way. In the jungle the lioness will always go for the strongest lion with the biggest mane. It's not to far off when it comes to people. Another good thing about this is that at least you know you are getting a quality girl when she knows what she wants. I don't know about you but I don't want someone who doesn't know what they want and will "settle" because I'm the first thing that came around. I'm not like that, I'm picky so, so should she be.

    Keep this in mind too. Just because someone is attractive doesn't mean they know how to keep someone and make them happy.

  • ...such is life my friend when your young.

    but I would add that this isn't the case all when you grow up...whilst your under 25 your driven by the urge to sex sex sex which gives women a lot of power because they then pick to whom to give it too.

    when guys are older though and have court up to the average females state of mind..then it all becomes a level playing field.

    Imagine your in your late 20's and uve spent the better half of a decade sexin everygyal from every region of the world...now your looking for that one to settle down with and start a family...thats where females tend to be when their about...17-18 lol

    when you get to that stage your going to demand more, your not just after the pretty face, you want a chick with personality, potentially someone that you can see as a good mother, someone that's in the right place in their life and isn't going to jump in another guys bed...loool

    you see...we aren't that different to them.

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