Why is it that guys have to work so hard to get girls?
All girls have to do is look somewhat attractive and they will get a guy. Even an ugly girl can get a guy if she puts herself out there. Guys have to... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
I couldn't finish my other posting...will repeat here and add:
@Timeandtimeagain...WOW...finally a guy that makes sense! Thank you!Guys have NO idea how hard it is to look good...it takes preperation and work...the hair must be colored and cut, they must have nice clothes and accessories, must work out to assure they are not fat, not eat for the same reason, get their nails done, take care of the hair (down-there) situation, get great underwear and bras that match...that is all before going out..the night it self...wash with soap that smells really good so that the guy notice, do your hair (takes about 1 hour to 2 hours depending on the girl), do your make-up (20-40 minutes depending on the girl), find an outfit that is classy but sexy but not trashy and yet simple (we are dressing for guys), must wear heels because guys have NO idea how much they hurt but insist (i've seen it on this site) that a girl needs to wear heels, make sure you go out with hot girls because then the guys will not look in your direction (I have lived that situation) but be sure they are not too hot so you still stand out, go to the right club, pay for the entery (after paying for your hair, clothes, shoes, make-up, waxing, nails, gym, bars and undies which can easily come up to 500$ for one of each...these things must be repeated a couple times per month) and then buy a drink and just be pretty...sooo please re-thing how easy we got it by just being pretty...it's not easy and definitely not cheap...
On the other hand, you say we can get any guy we want ...sure...but it not quality guys, and like someone else said...if you say no to the jerk, he moves on to your friend...what a catch right! Soo we need to weed out the good from bad guys (while being pretty), refuse those nasty jerks, keep a good reputation, stay clean (std wise) and try to see who is only looking to fcuk and who is actually talking to you to know you...not as easy as it seems to you guys...sooo the only thing we want from you is to try and approach us...that is too much for you? Really...good luck being married, with kids!
What Girls Said 50
In real life I have a hard time too, I don't require much but I do have standards. For some reason I get approached by ghetto guys and creepy old guys; not sure why though. I dress very modest and I like to speak proper English. One of my guy friends calls me prude and another thinks my standards are too high... which is weird. Plus the guys in LA are too short and not funny. No sense of humor and being short are deal breakers because I am tall and I love a great laugh. I just want an average guy where he is nice, caring, funny, and understanding. I would be the same for him.
You are so wrong. Girls have a tough time too and we get rejected all the time. Especially after having sex with the guy and then feeling like crap because your female hormones makes you attached to that a**hole.
This is a funny question because girls ask the exact same question -- why do I have to work so hard to get the guy's attention? (That's second to "Where have all the cowboys gone?")
Your conception of how easy it is for girls to get a guy is a little askew. If a girl sets her eyes on home plate and keeps getting guys that can't run to first, what has she gained? Nothing... She's on a losing streak.
Guys and girls with similar personalities and interests are supposed to attract each other. Period.
With girls, it's more socially acceptable to wear a flashy accessory, flip the hair, etc. Body language and communication are expected. With guys, flashy accessorizing doesn't make the same impression, so more emphasis is placed on personality (particularly the Alpha Male quality) and general looks.
Note that only the "party girls" who are not worth a gentleman's time are interested in the drunk frat boy. A lady is looking for something more substantial. I'm not talking rings and wedding bells, but a good guy with a sense of humor and a clear set of interests, etc. You don't want to hang out with someone boring; neither does she...
i feel a lot of guys don't work hard enough to earn a girl.
frat guys...i feel like their attitude sometimes is so demeaning towards girls. I hear about them about their random fling with a girl every week...guys are sometimes not responsible for what they do ...
i am an attractive girl, I don't want to sound egotistical.
i find that I attract a lot of douche bags and a few good guys.
the ugly girl...i don't know why some guys do ask the less attractive girl possibly for other traits, who knows.
it's a complicated situation in R.L.
not many guys ask me out, I don' t know if they're intimidated but I feel the ones who don't do the work or actually treat me right, with respect, are shot down pretty fast, by me.
us girls also work for attention. it takes me more than half an hour to get ready to go out. hair, make up, etc, clothes, the way we talk etc. so much effort goes into that too.
i would love to meet a decent guy who just comes up to me and says "hi.you're really pretty, can I buy you a ddrink" I don't care what he looks like, if he has some class, I'd say "sure"
Hey, if all you care about is if the girl is somewhat attractive and nothing else matters to you, that is your deal. I actually care about whether a guy is not only attractive in my eyes, but how he treats others, whether he is reasonably confident, cares about his career, is financially responsible, dresses like he realizes it is 2010, not 1970, is fit and healthy and shares my sense of humor. There are other standards I have as well. They way I see it, I am happy on my own, so the only way I am going to go into a relationship is with a guy who really is worth it, not just a cute guy who I have nothing else in common with.
Oh, and your example about the drunk frat boy is all about sex. So, yes, a lot of guys will have sex with pretty much any girl regardless of whether they would want a relationship with her, especially if they are drunk. It has nothing to do with "getting" the girl or the guy.
we girls have higher standards
It's really not easy for girls as you think, I've never had a boyfriend, & I've graduated college already. Some people just have a natural nack for getting guys/girls & others don't. The less skilled you are at impressing the opposite sex, the harder you have to try.
Haha, you're silly. Girls do not have it that easy. All guys have to do is ask a girl to do something and a lot will say yes. Do to old-timey social standards of guys making the first move, (some, not all) girls will wait for the guy to make a move. Girls are expected to look more attractive in general. Guys barely have to do anything to seem attractive, just stay fit and hygiene. As girls, we have to worry about those two things AND look pretty with makeup, dress up, always try to be worthy-looking. That and we have to live up for the standard to guys everywhere who see other women in the media. Not an easy feat brochacho. lol.
Because guys generally want sex way more than girls do.
There are many many girls who would disagree with you my friend. And I know a lot of scary lookin gutter crawlers who have women. Ever watch Jerry Springer?
In general however, it's nature. Males usually always have to work hard to get the female. No matter the animal or insect or bug or whatever.
If I go out and look attractive as possible..i get a slew of jerks. not guys.
I do have to work to "get" guys. This just entails turning on my charm, humour and personality.
girls hav more than guys actually we hav look pretty wear nice clothes act right deal with personal stuff girl drama friend drama gossip etc. if you lose track you don't no wats going on and if you don't no wats going on you don't no whos dating who etc. guys just gotta wear kinda cute clothes be sporty and smell nice (no sweat please lol) I do admit its hard to get courage to be polite and ask a girl out and stuff so look at it like you were a girl
In my experience, I think its the other way around. Women can look attractive and get any guy, but usually the guy that approaches them are those guys that will make a negative impact on their lives. These guys (not all) are only into games of how many women they can get. It would be nice for a change to see some decent guys approach me, who is geared towards marriage. Not guys that only want to have sex, or guys that are telling me they want to be in a relationship and is open about having another girlfriend. All that does is make me feel cheap, like all am worth is being someone second girl.
What I do know, is that women are dispensable, I have one good example that I experienced in the last two weeks. This guy has been behind me like crazy, and pouring out his love and what not. I know that he has two other women that he is playing. He knows that I know, and is denying it. We had a long conversation and I told him that I have myself set on a high standard because if I don't look out for myself no man will. He said to me " OK I give up, and I will just find another woman who will hang out with me and have sex with no strings attached" I was so happy when he said those words because it confirmed what I already knew about him. He has been harassing me for a kiss, and I would refuse all the time. I almost gave in, but I listened to my intuition. Now I am so grateful for listening to the Holy Spirit. What if I had kissed him, that would have gotten boring, and then he would of started pressuring me for sex. If he thought it was too long to wait then he would just move on to the next woman.
Now when I look at him, I don't have feel bad about kissing him. I am so ever grateful for that.
It's because we don't want the guy who "just comes up to us". If guys would be pickier too, we wouldn't have to say no to every guy who just thinks we look hot and then moves on to our other goodlooking girlfriend. I think guys who are picky themselves, get to properly know a girl first and show her she is special to him, won't get turned down that often.
Woooooaaah, what girls have YOU dated, dude?
Now, I can sympathize with you, but if you want the answer, try rereading your question. You say "All girls have to do is look somewhat attractive" to get a guy. Meanwhile,"Guys have to dress right and have the PERFECT PERSONALITY and such" = GUYS only care about PHYSICAL looks and GIRLS care about the whole package. I mean no offence, but it's the fact that lots of guys are very shallow, and that they just choose a girl based on their bust line and butt that makes the rest of us raise our standards to AVOID guys like those.
Granted, sometimes we fail in that, too. Not going to lie. =/
Uh... In order for us to "get a guy" the standard is set that we have to be skinny, popular, pretty.. etc
we play hard to get, not because we want to but because men set that standard, and if you think about it.. everyone could list the douchey things males do. Not all are snakes, but most are.
Just my two cents! stop stressing about girls though, just enjoy life and a girl will come around:)
you make it sound like its easy for us we have to put with the same crap you guys do plus more, you have no idea what we go through so don't think your the only one
We have to be fit, pretty, outgoing etc.. all that jazz, and we constantly cut each other down as girls. We are usually pretty self-conscious (whether we show it or not) and don't like taking big risks trying to get a guy. If the guy comes to us, we feel like we've done something right or are somewhat attractive when the guy comes to us. We don't try to sit around and just look nice, we're really just scared!
Guys don't have to work hard to get a girl. Girls usually form an opinion within the first few minutes of seeing a guy. She could immediately find him attractive. The difference is that girls don't want to show that they like someone. Even if your friend asked them if they liked you and they did, they might deny it. It's a matter of them being confident enough.
I actually don't say anything at all. I am so quiet and shy that I rarely am ever hit on. I think it just depends on the person. Now that I am older, I have learned that some of the things that we have on our list or whatever, they can be ignored. If the guy is really cool and the chemistry is there, then the small stuff shouldn't matter. I look at people who aren't the greatest looking, but they have boyfriends and yet I don't get one hello. I have learned to say f*** it and there are more important things in life.
yep I agree with sexylover...same thing for us
Because we have to work hard weeding out the players and the ones we don't reciprocate feelings for! Also, I am very beautiful and guys don't usually ask me out- I have to find out from friends that so and so used to have a crush on me. It happens all the time. It's not easy! Even now I have a crush on a guy that likes me back but we are not getting anywear.
That´s silly. If people dress to impress that´s them, there are others who don't do so and find realtionships as well. In the end it´s all about personality, you might be attracted to someone based on look and the way they present them sefls and its in their personality to do so.
If a guy had enough guts to come straight to me and tell me that he thought I was pretty then I have to admit he be getting some bonus points. Confident but not over-cocky guys get me. If a guy is down on himself and changes who he isto get somebody he's a not worth my time in my eyes.
haha its kinda true about the whole being left alone... but girls work hard too
we have to do our hair
our cothes cost waaay more
and we have more pressure
a guy can hook up with 5 girls in one night and he's conciderd a ledgend
but if a girl hooks up with one guy, she's a slut
we have to watch ourselves.
I think that it's cause guys want sex more, so therefore they are more inclined to ask out a girl. Girls, although we want sex, don't want to flaunt it like guys tend to, and are more inclined to turn down guys that approach us that look like they may just be interested in what is under your clothes. I'd be willing to date a guy who asks me out, (as long as he doesn't look too rude or jerkish) to see what they're like, but I would be cautious. I'd probably make the guy work a little bit, to see if he's into me enough to want to continue dating me if there was a larger problem.
Guys have to work harder, because girls need you to prove that you are willing to work to get the girl. It makes us feel good to know that you like us enough to work for us. I would ask out a guy (I'm actually planning to right now) but like I said, he'll have to prove himself a little bit.
Don't fret that you won't get a girl. If you're as nice as you say you are, just put some effort into it, prove to her that you really like her, and would be willing to get serious with her, you'll find someone who'll like you back.
Actually, it's not that easy to get guys for all of us. I am not ugly and I have dated 3 guys in my life. I am only 16, so I still have time. But I haven't dated any of them for more than a few weeks. I just wanted to say that it isn't as easy as you think for girls. I wish at least one guy would come up to me, at this point, I wouldn't even care if it was a drunk frat boy..
AWWW HELLLLLL NOOOO.
Okay majority of you guys out there, are hotties. & even if you're not one, we still feel hella lucky to have you even think of us as attractive. Once we get the idea that a guy likes us, we think to ourselves "omg, maybe I should like him." and we eventually decide to, or to not. If we do, you've won, and if we don't, you've still won because once you decide to stop sending us the signals, we regret not giving you the chance.
AND FOR US LADDIESSSS, You guys are all to caught up in your f***ing Call of Duty and Black Ops sh*t, that you hardly notice us anymore. That's why we feel the urge to ask our friends to accidently push us into you, or ask you what your favorite color is so that they can tell us, so that we'll have something in common with you. So before you say "guys work so hard to get girls" you should really think about what we have to do to get YOUR attention. Amen, BITCHES! (:
because if girls put themselfs out there then they are concidered whores
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What Guys Said 23
If it weren't difficult for the guys the girls would get the reputation of being 'easy' and no girl really wants that stamp.
The double standards haven't really weakened that much Girls are still prizes to be won quite often, and there are a lot of requirements to even enter the contest. That's why guys try to get girls drunk, so they'll forget all those rules!
In a word, you're right, guys are expected to jump through all sorts of hoops by MOST girsl still today, whle a girl just has to be out there. No real requirements for her.
"For the most part, women have this fairy tale fantasy that a man will come along, sweep her off her feet and take all of life's problems away. When that doesn't happen the relationship will turn sour quickly.
Men are just happy to be getting some action."
Overall, the point is that "Beggar's Can't be Choosers", unfortuneately, life is not fair like that, sometimes we just have to adapt, but gladly there are some aggressive women out there that do initiate and ask guys out, but they are very rare, hopefully it will be more common as the years go by.
girls are bitches and I don't work hard...if I get ignored after I try and be nice I move on ...if a girl wants to be a bitch she isn't worth my time.
recently I kindly asked a girl for her number she just laughed at me and walked away made a huge deal about it to her friends basically let evryone know I wanted her...2 weeks later she asked for my phone and put her number in...i didn't bother to text her
Don't forget that we chase them and they get to choose which one they want. When it comes to s*x it still is her choice. The clothes and the car do help us. But look at it this way. In the jungle the lioness will always go for the strongest lion with the biggest mane. It's not to far off when it comes to people. Another good thing about this is that at least you know you are getting a quality girl when she knows what she wants. I don't know about you but I don't want someone who doesn't know what they want and will "settle" because I'm the first thing that came around. I'm not like that, I'm picky so, so should she be.
Keep this in mind too. Just because someone is attractive doesn't mean they know how to keep someone and make them happy.
There there. =p You're being biased now. It's not that simple for girls either. They have to be pretty, and that takes a lot of effort most of the time. Being pretty is their way of "working hard". I know it sounds unfair, but that's just the way life is.
I agree with the perfect personality thing though. If a guy doesn't fit a certain stereotype, girls just won't be attracted to them. All a girl has to be for a guy is pretty. Their personality is important too, but it can be a lot of MANY thing, and the guy will still like her. But for girls, no - the guy must be rich, confident, successful, sociable, and a bunch of other sh*t. If he isn't, the girl can't be attracted to him. Pretty sad.
nature. Guys want to sow the seed far and wide, they can shag and run easily. Girls have to guard themselves as getting pregnant is a massive commitment which could seriously screw them over if they've no guy to look after them.
Shit that girls haven't got over this in the modern world but there we go.
...such is life my friend when your young.
but I would add that this isn't the case all when you grow up...whilst your under 25 your driven by the urge to sex sex sex which gives women a lot of power because they then pick to whom to give it too.
when guys are older though and have court up to the average females state of mind..then it all becomes a level playing field.
Imagine your in your late 20's and uve spent the better half of a decade sexin everygyal from every region of the world...now your looking for that one to settle down with and start a family...thats where females tend to be when their about...17-18 lol
when you get to that stage your going to demand more, your not just after the pretty face, you want a chick with personality, potentially someone that you can see as a good mother, someone that's in the right place in their life and isn't going to jump in another guys bed...loool
you see...we aren't that different to them.
Let's put it this way
Girls can get sex very easy compared to guys
However it's hard for them too to find a good relationship (not one based on sex)
That's why we are called the strong sex, cos we must cope with all the sh*t lol
there is no such thing as a perfect personality, you just need to find somone who shares your intrests, but looking a bit attractive does help, I'm not gona lie
Depends on the type of girl you go after...
Look at the flip side of the question. Girls may have it easy when it comes to approaching a potential mate/date/friend/f*** but they are burdened with having to turn down a lot of guys. If you are an attractive woman and decide to go out to see live music w/o any intention of bringing someone home-or at least waiting until the right someone appears-you are probably going to be approached by a dozen guys who are all using some sort of line she has heard 100 times before. If she has the tact, energy, and manners to turn down a dozen offers in a polite way-polite because 1) she doesn't want to crush a dozen egos & 2) she doesn't want each rejected candidate going back to his clique and telling all of them what a **** she is-that's a lot lore of a pain in the ass than not having to ask. By being polite she risks ambiguity so that's even more difficult because now some guy she isn't interested in still thinks there's a chance if he just tries harder. Now she needs to be rude just to get some space. Throw alcohol into the mix-and that's usually the case-and you could have some loaded asshole loudly explaining to his buds that she's frigid, a dyke, a bitch, a **** or all of the above.
Frankly, until I wrote this, the magnitude of the situation hadn't occurred to me-I'd like to hear from women about the accuracy of that,
Oh, and don't forget the possibility of any guy approaching slipping a roofie into her drink.
So this is an anger-letting thread? I do see what you mean. I'm a great prospect compared to my peers. I'm kind, tactful, creative, witty, have a well-paying job 10K beyond what they can get, and believe in treating my women like equals. However, I'm short, slightly AS, and a bit crazy. It's just the short as I keep the crazy hidden.
my best advice. dress neat or clean. it doesn't have to be expensive clothes I wear plain shirts and get hit on. two: be calm not nervous and shaky. three: be kind and sweet and show interest and ask questions that will spark a conversation. and no matter the outcome the more you talk to the more you'll learn. and I can get plenty off girls. but I'm all I'm searching for is the one. which by the way don't be a player. if you pick one out stick to her. if she doesn't go for it don't turn to her friend.
Because girls are gudged by there looks.
Guys are gudged by something else.
What guys are gudged by:
Looks(it does count but not a lot 20% maybe)
Replecation status - are you a valued male. (how important are you)
money (people say no, but pimps and movie stars that shag every hour say yes)(tho not biggy again)(but is there)
[unfair huh? send me personal message to descuss how to change it]
but yea man if you think looks matter, your wrong, I have seen ugly guys get very nice girls.
and if you say you work hard- desparate. shows you that your less worth than the girl because your working for her. girls only like guys that are higher value than themselfs (improving there social status, this is what people call instinct)
don't be to interested (and FFS don't lean in, girls find it creepy)
Honestly, I'm a very shy guy and have never proposed a chick. But even the ones or twos that have shown interest in me, I had to work some bit to get into their pants...lol!
becase life is unfair, and Bill Gates even said so
So your words become flesh.
C'est La Vie! Learn it,boy!
Just kidding! Kinda...
Thats how the game is played, girls don't like boys they like cars and money have that and they will come after you...
"Girls are like poop; the older they get, the easier they are to pick up."
As a function of time, your sex drive will decline sharply, but probably not as sharply as her looks will decline. (translation: both your demand for her, and the value she has to offer; are sharply diminished.)
As a function of time, her desire to get married, start a family, and feel secure & stable will increase dramatically. Your income and wealth will also increase sharply. (translation: your demand and the value you have to offer will sharply increase.)
So you'll be looking at these same women you're looking at right now and thinking, "I'd love to bang her, but it's too much work," and instead you'll be thinking, "I wouldn't take her even if she offered herself to me for free."
Men simply have more time. Women might say no to this guy, no to that guy, but if they're 25 and single; they'll start regretting every "no" they said; because now there are new 18-24 year-old girls in the dating market; and there's really no competition.
Men just have to wait. Are you complaining life dealt you the "wait" card? Would you rather life deal you the "rush" card? All you have to do is take your time.
It pays off. If you have a mom or grandma fetish, 25 - 50 year-old women will be more than happy to be getting the attention of a well-qualified bachelor. If you don't, the younger guys can't compete with you over girls 18 - 24.
You have a car, you have your own place, you have a career (as opposed to a job), and you're somebody in this world. When she introduces her "boyfriend", now she'll be saying "look at who I might get to marry me; and imagine the kind of lifestyle I'll have" as opposed to "look at who I'm f***ing; isn't he so cute?"
Lastly, a girl who is dating a doctor, feels more important and better about herself relative to other women; as opposed to a girl dating a personal trainer, or a construction worker, or a watch salesman.
You can always make the argument that, "what if that doctor is a bad person?" Well, "what if that loser is a bad person?" Why stop there? What if he's a gay serial raping pedofile? At the end of the day, ceribus pluribus (all else constant); the more financially powerful guy trumps the less financially powerful guy.
There are way more books targeting women about "how to marry rich, how to marry a millionaire, smart women finish rich, etc." than there are on "how to marry a nice guy, who loves you, and cares about you, etc."
So the same way you can walk into a strip-club and have a stripper dance for you or perform acrobatics at the drop of a $1 bill, is the same way it will seem like when you get a little bit older and more established.
The only trick is to not actually make the girl feel like a stripper or prostitute; try and hold your loling inside. Otherwise she'll feel bad and the whole "I'm a lady, I have respect for myself" will come out of her mouth; and she won't do it.
Shit dude... You're pedestaling all pooty. Stop it. Stop it immediately. Learn to dislike the beautiful ones and to go do your own sh*t. As the song says, the beautiful are empty. I've known so many that they're all the same no matter what one of them says to cover their own ass. They're a hollow shell of what could have been. When you learn to dislike it, it activates the "I want what I can't have." thing where you have to beat them off with a damn nightstick.