Why are guys afraid to show their feelings?

Don't want to show they are desperate?

Most Helpful Guy

  • When I was growing up, I had always freely discussed how I felt (I wasn't big on the whole playing games thing). But when I did say how I felt ("I think your cute and I'd like to date you") I was either made fun of ("Haha I always thought you were gay! Wow how weird huh?").. Or I was friendzoned ("You know, you should ask her to the dance. To be honest ArtistBBoy, you are more of a friend to me and I don't see this going anywhere, but I'd still like to be your friend")..

    So after years and years of establishing that: Speaking about my feelings has two negative outcomes.. I never took the time to realize the positive outcomes because I was always worrying: "Worry worry worry worry"...

    What I recently came across is a shocking concept: Why do men like being more than friends.

    - If you think about it, friends are stuck at being friends.. maybe best friends.. but you can't exactly waltz up to your friend who's the opposite sex and say: "HEY! Let's go to europe!" when you live in another continent.. your gonna get a bewildered look that shouts: "Uhh wtf are you saying?" because it's so off-the-charts and not typical..

    -- BUT if you were exclusive to each other, it could go several ways: You could become boyfriend/girlfriend, fiances, husband/wife, etc and it's not as awkward to say: "Hey hun, wanna take a trip next month?" .. The negative feelings of being rejected are completely removed from the scenario because it's replaced with feelings of excitement and adventure.. etc

    So as you can see, it's not because we're desperate but because we have been trained that expressing those feelings would prevent us from experiencing the wonderful aspects of relationships.

    Hope it helps clarify,

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • But do you talk about your feelings with your guy friends? Is it true when a guy like a girl (I mean, have a huge huge crush), he has a hard time to come up and talk to her because he's afraid of rejection?

    • Aren't those answers obvious? Of course I have times where I talk to my buddies (females or males) that I can trust. Of course I've felt fear of being rejected by someone I incredibly admire.