If he's rejected me, why is he staring at me?

I like a guy I work with and I thought he was giving me signals that he liked me too, so I got up all the courage I could and gave him my number. No call and no text, and it's been a couple of weeks now.

So okay, blatant rejection, he's also been acting kinda awkward around me, okay I get it, he doesn't know how to handle being around me anymore, fine.

So why the hell does he keep staring at me? I mean I know that when you like someone you might think they are, but I swear, he does, I won't even be looking at him and yet I'd almost *feel* that he is so when I'd turn around and look in his general direction, I can see out of the corner of my eye that he's looking but his head quickly looks elsewhere. If I'm talking to him though, he doesn't directly look at me, he's always done this, if he looks it's for a brief second in my eye. He used to want to help me with things and get me to help him. He stutters around me also. From a distance though, I swear he sneaks glances! He doesn't ignore me, still says hi how are you and stuff, and then the other day he came in on his day off to talk to another girl (A friend of this girl's said she thinks he likes her, I know they get on but haven't noticed him flirting, but that's beside the point) when he was talking to her he was facing my direction when I was behind the till (There's a wall behind me so he couldn't of been staring at anyone behind me) and I swear I could see him looking at me, and so was the other girl, I don't know if it's just paranoia, but I felt like they may have been talking about me.

He hasn't said that he doesn't or does like me, took my number, but it's obviously a rejection if I've not heard from him, and yet he keeps looking at me and acting not himself.

Have I ruined this? Before I gave him my number he'd seem enthusiastic to see me and would seem to want to be around me, unless I'm reading too much into stuff. He used to smile at me alot, touch my shoulder/arm, brush past me, when he'd help me out with something he'd stand close to me. He's never been able to look at me, but I heard that guys who are shy aren't able to do that very well. He just seemed like he really wanted to know me.

I am so confused. He doesn't seem like the type that would get an ego kick out of this. So what's up with him?

I noticed that this weekend just gone by - he kept coming downstairs and near the till where I work. Again I don't know if I'm reading too much into stuff, what I was hoping was that he had come down to see me (I made that excuse all the tiem to see him)
And I joked around with him a bit later, went to give him something that belonged in his department, and called it a present, he didn't look at me but he smiled. I did the same again later and he joked "Another present? Thank you" and seemed a bit nicer.
To be honest, looking at my original question, I'm not sure if he does stare. Because if I think I do catch him it's off in the distance where I can't hardly see (I'm short sighted for one thing!) so he could be just looking in my general direction. cont.
If he's carrying something and he stops because someone's talking to him, if I'm near by I noticed that he looks out of the corner of his eye at me briefly. I gotta try to have a conversation with him, nothing heavy, but since all this I've clammed up!
So I'm still getting nowhere, but then I haven't really done anything to change the situation, I'm far too scared really, because I really need for him to initiate something in order for me to be confident enough to follow up, but if we're both shy. (cont
He'll not really talk to me around co-workers, when I say something, I know he listens but says nothing/barely anything. He definitely isn't his cheery self when I first met him & can't seem to hold a convo/start a convo with me...(Cont).
I've acted like I'm not bothered, friendly, all he'll do is smirk at me most of the time if there's a funny situation. We were at a meeting last week & I think I did catch him looking at me, our eyes briefly met and he looked away the second I caught him.
It's unfair that he can converse with co-workers fine, & even the girl that I swear fancies him (She'll actively go see him, go right up next to him, she still stares at me!) If he doesn't like me, have I made him THAT awkward? Just by giving my number?!
So me and this other girl (The one I thought he might of liked) we've started talking recently, and I did end up asking for her advice. She says that he's definitely single and that I should give it a go. The thing is since I told her that...
over the weekend he seems to be hanging around the same room area as me. But still no talking from him, if he does he acts like he doesn't really care. The in the canteen I was having lunch he came in, hovered in the background, but the girl came in...
And he started hanging around her, sat next to her, she was mentioning how she drunk texted him, and he was laughing and such...right in front of me he seemed to be flirting with her, and also asked her how she was since she had a bit of an accident...
which he bandaged for her the other day, again right in front of me. She knows I like him, and has said I should go for it, why is she letting him do that? And what's his deal? Is he trying to make me jealous because he wants me to chase him more or what?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't listen to a word FunnyHunnyBunny10 says, she's just your typical sexist female. Now as for him being interested, I think he is. He sounds very shy, too shy perhaps, but you can fix it. You just need to give him a nudge. You don't need to make another move, but you just need to ask him straight forward, "Are you going to call or text me?" You can think up of a way that sounds nice or more polite, but something around those lines. Depending on what he says you'll find out the mystery of whether he's interested or not.

    Good luck.


What Guys Said 9

  • You have to make the decision to approach or not. If he hasn't taken the hint then he is either not interested (but that doesn't mean that you can't change that) or is just to shy.

    Reading between the lines, it sounds like you work or at least spend a lot of time in the same building together?

    If that is the case then find a reason to talk to him about something to do with work ----- make it a good one so that you have an excuse for an extended conversation.

    Once you have him locked in conversation you will be surprised at how that conversation can and will change direction as he forgets his fear and shyness and loosens up a bit.

    Remember that while traditionally it is seen as the mans role to make an approach the female almost always chooses her mate not the male !

    • I'm quite shy myself, and when ever I think of something to say I chicken out. I've noticed that he talks to me more when no one else is around, but when another co-worker's around he'll talk to them but clam up when I'm around. Even when I say something. Is that a bad thing? I do get the impression that he might like me but is just shy, it;s so hard to tell with this guy. We don't spend a great deal of time together as he works upstairs, I work down. However there is an Xmas work do coming up..

    • If he really is that shy then the Christmas do won't do (lol)

      You will likley make him more shy and then you will be eternally disapointed.

      No I would bite the bullet. Get him on his own. Maybe you could enlist the help of another co worker. That's for you to decide but if he talks to you when you are alone then that it what you must do get him alone in private and talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you are scared tell him anything you have just got to get him talking.

  • Vote my answer as bet and ill buy you a maserati!

    • What's a maserati? lol

    • Whats a maserati? :| *reported*

    • it's a really sexy car! <3 that's what a Maserati is!

  • You did well. You got up the courage to ask him out. (U gave him your number)

    NOW - take it easy, back up... its not a rejection, maybe this guy has never gone on a date and likes you that much.

    Hes obviously shy. Just be sweet to him and ask him out if you want to go out with him.. This kind of character can take a bit of work but I think he will be able to become more intimate with you once you crack through his armor.

    • Thanks for your comments guys, really appreciate it.

  • he stares cause you have boobies.

  • Easy, he's trying to see through your clothes. Superman style. Come to think of it, he may have achieved this. Do you find him staring at walls often? There may be a girls locker room on the other side of it... Think about it...

  • Don't listen to funnybunny... she's just a old fashion sexist.

    My best friend is a shy guy, and it usual takes my encouragement to get him to ring a girl.. next time just ask him, if he's ever going to text you, if you get anything other then, something along the lines of "I will", just forget about him.

    • Thing is I'm extremely shy myself, it took A LOT of courage to even give him my number. I just feel like if I say anything else it'll make things worse.

      He does act nervous around me now though. I couldn't figure out if it was just plain old fashioned not interested, or if there was something else bothering him which is making him not want ANYONE right now. I even talked to my Dad lol, he says he sounds VERY nervous, and to leave it on the back burner and just be his friend until further notice.

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    • Never expected anything to kick off - just needed some advice lol

      I don't think there's anything wrong with a girl making a move first, but I do think I made a mistake doing that. He may of been interested to begin with but it was only a couple of weeks in getting to know him that I did it, so it was too soon.

      I don't know the real reason for his disinterest, but it is hard to accept I guess, because I do tend to like people too much too quickly and always get hurt. Whatever will be will be.

    • I'm sorry girl that he rejected you. It's really his loss. You deserve someone who wants to text/call you and hang out with you and want you. You deserve someone who accepts you and wants you. Not someone who doesn't make a move especially since you helped him out! You gave him your phone number. It's not hard to send you a small text to show he is interested. Even if he is shy, texting isn't that nervracking. He chose not to send a text. Maybe you did it too soon. I don't know.

  • sounds like something I would do but obviously he's a shy guy and waiting for you to make a lot of moves ... its not rejection.. guys just do this to test a girl out to figure out if she's in some sort of phase ... you just need to come forward and tell him how you feel etc

  • If he is nervous , that's a good sign that he's into you.

    He also may act weird around you also.


What Girls Said 14

  • Aww hey girl! :) Don’t worry, I’m here to help! Okay, you like him as more than a friend and so you gave him your phone number. That’s fine. But in my opinion, girls shouldn’t give out their phone number to a guy they are interested in. Because if the guy is interested, he will give HIS phone number to you or ask you for your phone number. In my opinion, guys should pursue girls and always take the first step. I also believe it’s a man’s job to ask a woman out on a date first if he is interested because if he is, he eventually will. See girl, it’s supposed to be guys that chase girls and pursue them. Not the other way around. You are free to do what you want, by all means! It’s your life and do what makes you feel comfortable, but in my opinion, I highly suggest you not give out your phone number to guys you are interested in anymore. If you are interested/attracted to a guy, then use other methods to make him want to give you his phone number. For example, flirt or talk to them. Hang out with them. Build a good friendship first. You will see great results! Flirt with them, if they like you, they will surely flirt back and either ask you to hang out/on a date or they will give their phone number to you or ask you for yours. It’s almost guaranteed. I think he might be staring at you because he probably thought you were too “easy” or seemed pushy, needy, or desperate for a relationship. Anywhooo, yeah, I think that is probably why he is staring at you. But don’t worry girl and please don’t feel bad. People make mistakes and learn from them. We all do. Just take this as a learning experience and move on. You have learned for next time. Don’t give out your number to guys and don’t ask them out on dates/to hang out… I mean you can if you want to, like I already said, but yeah, that’s just my opinion and this is how I am, personally. I believe it is up to them. If they are interested, they will come forth. If not, then move on and look for another guy! Good luck and I hope I helped! Message me if you need some more help on anything or have any other questions. ;)

    ~Much peace and love~ *hugs* xxx <3

    • It's not something I usually do, I was pretty nervous when I did it. I've never come off as someone who's easy though - I never flirted with him or came off as desperate, infact I haven't done or said anything to him about it because I'm shy and embarrassed.

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    • Lol I'm the same person as hunny bunny. This is my other account. I have two accounts. lol

    • I had logged into my GiGi account by accident lol at least you agree with me that he wasn't interested. The other guy thinks he is interested. I don't think he is because if he is, he would take action and text or call her by now. She already got up the courage to give him her number and so he knows she is interested. It's all up on him now. And he didn't do anything = not interested. I don't really believe in the whole "shy" thing because it's not hard to send a small text to someone.

  • Kudos to you for giving your number to him! Don't listen to funnyhunnybunny.Did you find out if she is dating someone?Theres nothing wrong with being assertive. If the guy is shy etc,then you may have to.

  • Does he have a girlfriend?

  • I think he likes you but maybe he already is in a relationship and he doesn't want to make a mess.

    • Well someone who knows him said he was single. But why wouldn't he say if he was taken? What reason would their be to hide the fact that he has a girlfriend from me? It would be his right to tell me to make SURE I back off. Where as he just seems to act hot and cold with me,

      However, I did see him walk past my bus stop after work with a girl, they weren't holding hands or anything, I'd not seen her before, but she had very long blond hair, "sexy" type =( then again I have guy friends so...

  • I got kind of p*ssed of at him while reading your question... -_-

    And I don't think he likes you by the way. He only finds you attractive.

    • Aww really? But if he is attracted, wouldn't that mean on some level that he does like me? If he was attracted wouldn't he at least text me?

    • He does find you attractive, but not enough to go trough the effort of hitting on you. Maybe he is afraid of rejection and thinks you aren't worth it.

      Though there is another possibility... He is MADLY in love with you and just thinking about you makes him go crazy and he can't handle it. (it's just less likely) xD

    • This is true. Some people find others attractive but have no desire to date them. I'm like that. There are girls I've looked at and thought "She's hot... but probably a pain in the ass... never mind." On the flip side, he may find you so hot that he can't handle it. Some guys will purposely avoid a women who they find to be TOO attractive with the logic being "I am not good enough for her" and their own insecurity forces them to shy away.

  • He's scared of you, he doesn't know how to react, and maybe he hasn't had many girls try to pursue him. If you still like him, I'd ask him for his number and then call him, but don't tell him everything that you feel right away. If he still continuously keeps his distance, then sorry he doesn't like you.

  • some guys are pushed off by an aggressive female. I seriously suggest leaving him be. He may think your interesting or pretty or just be thoughtful about the aggression. Leave him alone, otherwise you seem way too forward, and even more scary.

    • Oh don't worry I am. All I'm doing is observing. So far it doesn't look good. He's nice to me but seems to be acting rather indifferent/slightly uncomfortable, but I can never tell if I'm reading too much into stuff, or if it's actually like that. Another thought is that, if he was at all interested before, I may of scared him, but also I don't know what company policy is on dating, it could be that we're not allowed and so he's distanced himself. I have no idea.

  • He probably really likes you and hasn't texted or called because he's way too shy to do it. If he stares at you a lot he likes you, I find no other reason why a guy would stare a lot at a girl. If he didn't like you and didn't care, he would try not to stare at you if not act completely indifferent.

    • Thing is, he does seem to be acting awkward. And he doesn't blatantly stare, I think if he catches me looking his way he'll continue with his work, but a lot of the time I'd see him, what appears to be, sneaking glances. And if I'm near him he'll barely look at all, and yet would know when I'm around.

      Before I gave him my number, he really did seem as if he'd act nervous, stutter a lot more, act hyperactive (He's always dashing about anyway though) when I'd need his help he would always have time

    • He knows you're interested, that's why he acts so nervous and awkward around you. Him barely looking at you when you're near is only one more proof that he likes you, I know it because I myself can't look directly at my crush and will sometimes even act as if I didn't know he was there even if I was more than 100% sure.

      Give him time to get the courage and you'll see he'll text you and soon ask you out.

      ;) best of lucks

    • Thank you =) I just don't know why I get so wound up, I guess I must like him alot. The number thing blew my confidence out of the window, so asking him again is not something I'm prepared to do unless he gives me a definite sign, which he isn't doing, especially since making the first move he's cooled off. One part of me is staying positive, and another part of me is doing my head in because it's like saying "Don't get your hopes up, you're reading too much into things" Rejection hurts horribly

  • just ask him to a coffe..or something...

  • Well...first off don t go off and assume things on your own

    You can't know what is really going on in his head

    You never know ,may b he is just confused about his feeling,shy,may b he needs time.

    In my opinion ,its good that he knows you re interested.

  • Hi there...I'm beginning to get a sense this is way too common and we need to do what we feel in our hearts. Life is too short!

    A year ago I started liking a guy from wk and I did the bold thing I got his # from a mutual friend and text him...and guess what he didn't REPLY..fine at least I know...i can't stand wondering, but my problem was being too impatient. I assumed he wasn't interested. So I moved on, but still see him and things are weird we have not said a word. The problem is he still stares like an obvious dope and I'm not having it. So you see it could be his dumbass calculating possibilities and slowly work toward u, but if it takes too long will it be worth it? To this day he still stares and making me uncomfortable, so much I feel like getting up in his face and getting all gangsta! I personally grew tired of this lame ass situation...i finally got my confidence back to give up. If he wants to stare and carry on then let him. Meanwhile, let him be the one fixated on you now and you did right by initiating, smart girl who's got the time to daydream...i know it's hard not to!

    I still like him, but I'm not actively pursuing him.

    Good Luck

  • sounds to me like he has a thing for you but just haven't gathered up enough courage to pick up the phone.Seems like you would have to be the one to make the move and ask him out. by the way you described his behavior it seems that he's attracted to you but is ,shy and probably has no idea what to say to you when you answer the phone. so if you like him you should probably invite him to a movie or maybe just hangout in the park and watch the sun set. go for it. good luck:}

  • omg I am going through the same exact thing. I even asked the question on here but only two responded. I am rooting for you! please keep me updated because this guy and the staring thing is driving me bananas! my friend coerce me to facebook him and that almost cause a panic attack just to write him. lol ughhhh hmmm we must be messing with the same guy.lol

    • I've had a girl do this to me and when I finally said something to her I got the 'ole "I have a boyfriend" line... of course, after the rejection the staring continued and it drove me crazy. Some people are just weird. What else can I say?

  • i think he might like you but he is to shy :) good luck