Why do you guys wait so long to let a girl know you like her?

This isn't the first time this has happened to me, but it seems a guy likes me, I like him, but he never does anything about it. Of course time passes, I figure he isn't interested, I move on. By move on, I don't necessarily mean to another guy...but moved on as accepted that the guy probably didn't like me, and since he didn't do anything or enough to feed what could have been a budding relationship, I have lost feelings. THEN they start showing interest. ugh.

I mean do you guys really expect a girl to like you for a year with nothing in return that leads to actually dating?

It is funny when guys seem surprised when you move on. Is there no concept of time? I almost feel like saying...'yeah, I like you in 1998, remember?...but it is now 2010!'. :p

Ok, its not that bad, but trying to get a laugh out of some. Although we live this kind of stuff, it is almost kind of funny in some ways.

But I would like to know why the guy doesn't kick it into gear until the girl has moved on?

Not saying things can't be re-kindled, but something gets lost along the way keeping us waiting like that. :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Actually I've had some cases where I seriously didn't like the girl until much later after we became much closer friends. I mean I can tell you that at one time I thought this girl really boring and came off as kinda cold, but then my feelings changed in exactly a year after we kept being friends and shared all kinds of experiences together. She's one of those tough outside, big softie inside types. That might be different from what you've experienced, but sometimes I feel like these issues just sorta happen, and you need to be more flexible to maybe allow the other person to warm up to you.

    Just give it time, the most successful relationship I saw, it took the girl like two years to warm up to the guy. I mean, that doesn't mean freeze your life and not date anyone else, but don't write them off so quickly as, 'never going to be interested.'

    Obviously if he really does like you but won't say, then he's just shy or doesn't know exactly what to do and between all of the things they could do they can't figure out what would be best and end up doing nothing while they think about it. Girls tend to put too much pressure on guys to make the moves, so honestly, if you have something in mind, go ahead and suggest it or god forbid, take the lead. Since you seem to be the one to move on first usually, you should be the first to make the moves too.

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      I like your insight. And it isn't that I am the one to move on first usually. What is funny on the flip side of this is that I have had guys tell me years later that they had the biggest crush on me. They just never said anything. I didn't know and I guess these were guys I wasn't interested in or maybe I was going out with someone at the time. There is a guy I currently like who fits the very shy scenario. I am being patient cause I do see he is trying, but can't get him out yet it seems.

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      I sent him a text to ask him to hangout sometime. I didn't get a reply and he withdraw back to his prior shy self, whereas it seemed we were making a little progress before I did that. I think you are right about the time thing. Although we flirted for close to a year, I knew I liked him for 9 months of that. He has only seemed to really come around to that idea within the past couple months. So I may be a good 6 months ahead of him on where I think we should be. haha

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      Oh I've been there, sorta. I really didn't think she thought of me in that way and I had been chasing someone else, and now years later I figured it out and I get the feeling she still does but it's kinda complicated now.

      Although I really don't understand no reply. I replied, to many of her advances stupidly because honestly I didn't realize her intentions. I thought she was just being a friend.

      Saying, "I like you" is the clearest way to tell a guy what you mean.