At age 41 being single never married and no kids ? Feels like I have been sentenced to life alone!!

Hey Ladies is it a turn off for a guy that is 41 and single to ask you out?Why is it every time I ask a woman out under say 38 they say I am too old!What if I want Kids and a Family ..I do like younger women say 21 and up!I may should just accept that I will be alone and God Willing I won't live to be a lonely old man!Is it wrong for me to want a younger woman?or should I just accept that I am Single for a reason? Please no rude comments!

Hey thanks everyone...I guess I waited too long in life...I will just give up and be alone...I don't want to be thought of as a weird pervert!
As the Holiday season approaches I see all the couples and all the kids and realize what I have missed out on in life...It saddens me...Thanks for the support but I realize this will be year 42 of being single and it sucks!

What's Your Opinion?


Most Helpful Opinion

  • My boyfriend is 8 years older than me...i know that's not much different, but it is quite a gap...& don't give up.You won't be alone. I thot having a kid with a douche bag would turn all guys off...but I found the one...unexpectedly & in my own backyard, so to speak. He's my mom's best friend's son! haha. Whatever you do though, don't lower your standards! Good luck!

    • I get it ...LOL...I would like a younger woman..I am a young 41...I should have listened to my friends 5 years ago when that would have been acceptable to date everyone tells me forget having kids..I don't want to accept that

    • That's what my boyfriend feels like...he's 27, almost 28 & he thot he wouldn't be able to find someone....but that's how I felt too when I had my son.Don't'll find someone...just don't know how old she'll be lol!

    • Thanks...I am trying to stay positive...but I feel like my clock is ticking and my time running out!!

What Girls Said 47

  • I do not think you should give up. I think perhaps you should think about increasing the age of the women you date a little bit. A woman who is in her early 30s perhaps. Most women in their late 20s are generally not the ideal situation for a man in his 40s. They just do not have enough life experience. I don't think anyone who really reads the depth of thought you put into your question thinks ill of you. When people are young adults they are generally at the peak of their physical attractiveness, so I understand why on that level you would be attracted to a woman in her 20s; however, one must ask oneself, in the grand scheme of things is that the best situation for oneself? Is this person, who is much younger going to be there in the long run when things deteriorate with health and as life's responsibilities intensify with age and time (as it always does). I wish you the best of luck with this. It is interesting to read the responses on here.

  • It is interesting to me that you are experiencing this because, I have had men of all ages who have been attracted to me, asked me out, want to talk to me, etc. until I tell them how old I am. Once I do that, they seem to hit the brakes and then everything ends. I only started experiencing this once I turned 40. I am now 42. Now, I do pause a moment and say to myself, that I must not look as old as I think I do because they never seem to realize my age until I tell them. But then I get over that brief ego trip and move on to realize one thing: In the dating pool of attempting to hook up with someone we have a shelf-life. This means that the younger we are as adults the better it is for us to date casually, to learn the kinds of people we want in our lives, who we don't want, etc. It means we have to date a lot when we are young. So, my question to you is, are you trying to hook up or are you trying to find a life partner to connect with? If you are looking for a life partner, then age is not going to matter to the type of woman you want: a woman who is partnership material. No one told me how short our shelf-life is for casual dating, so I did the wrong thing and worked while going through higher education. Now it looks like I may have missed that window of opportunity. Plus, I was never interested in casual dating, per se. I wanted courtship then marriage and children, even as a young adult. But to get to that place with someone you still have to be in the presence of lots of people in order to figure out the kind of partner that is good for you...that can help you work through whatever residual effects you have from childhood, life; and vice-versa for that person. To answer your question it usually is not a turn off for most women to have slightly older man ask her out. Maybe about five years older. My new cutoff is now 10 years because I am already 42 myself and would like to have children. Most men I know want to be somewhat agile with their kids. I would recommend increasing the age of the women you ask out. Most young women are still trying to figure themselves out, what they really want, how to balance their lives. Plus our society has the roles so reversed for men & women, that most young women now have no idea how a man should really even be treating them. A lot more people who are younger than our generation have grown up without a balance in the home: meaning a nuclear family. So increase that age and see what happens with slightly older women. Good luck to you.

  • btw most women don't want kids or commitment in their mid twenties, most may late twenties or early thirties and then start trying to have a kid around 34yrs old on average. so keep that in mind, old man. lol...

  • dont count out women 35-39 with regard to. dating/kids...I am a woman in that age range, actually just turned 40 in March, engaged, and we only started trying to have kids back in June when I was 39.5. I got pregnant twice within 5months, naturally. I am due in July with our healthy baby boy. you really need to educate yourself on a lot of things, you seem really out of it. many women these days over 35 are having kids. you won't get anyone by not openinb yourself up to other age groups. besides, I think many women like me prefer younger guys ( my fiance is 9 years my junior but that's my limit and I think that should be yours as wel, meet women 33 and up). but if you are kind and have a steady job then you are most likely a good catch. Maybe join meetup groups and meet women with similar interests. even women who are over 39 and starting to have difficulty with conceiving have options besides adopting. there's fertility drugs to help with ovulation covered by instance, natural supplements etc. before needing to resort to methods such as ivf or more drastic measures.

  • I know you asked this a longtime ago but I just wanted to say that the only sure way to fail is to give up. So don't . First off, you're a guy, and 41 for a guy is not old at all. I know plenty of men ( even my father) who are older than you and still get women. The thing is when you're a guy, getting a girl is mostly about your own confidence in yourself. And you realize that your actual stae of mind doesn't really help you gain some...But anyway I'm jut saying this to say that yes, as a men, you shouldn't worry about your age or whetever. I am 21 and a friend of mine was dating this 42 years old who was single, no children,.. her only worry was that he'll turn her into his wife really soon but still she dated him because she fell in love with him. You see plenty of couples where the man is much older than the woman. Now you can also try to date you age range, you'd be more likely to find a woman who has children though .. I mean just be positive and believe it will happen, no one is ever meant to be alone and childless. These are always situations people put themselves into. Look at your past relationship, assess what you did that didn't work and well work on your flaws, maybe lower your expectations (nobody is perfect) and date, date, date! I'm telling you it is never too late to start anything.

  • i know this is a long time ago. but you'll find that plenty of women who are younger do like older men because of their maturity(not all men are even when they are older) and want to settle with someone who knows what they are doing and are not into playing games. It's the same women are still able to have children at that age and may feel that they are still in their prime. I believe in love. If you love someone it doesn't matter how old they are as long as you two make each other happy and are commited. Maybe the women want a younger man when they get older -who knows. But if you want a younger woman realize that just because she's young doesn't mean that she won't want somthing serious. but you two should be open and talk to one another about what you want. not on the first date but later on if you start to like one another.

  • 38 IS younger... heck, 41 is younger...Not having a 21-year-old only means than you need to set a more realistic bar for yourself.Reassess your other standards for women. What are you looking for? Is it realistic?If you really did not want to be alone, you would not be. As you evaluate your standards you'll find the point(s) that are preventing you from finding your gal.

  •'re right.

  • Oh don't be so negative! I'm 21, the guy I'm currently in love with is 37! you don't fall in love with an age- you fall in love with a person. You shouldn't be embarassed that you've never been married, you just have yet to meet the right girl. My father didn't have me until he was 50!

  • Stop worrying, you are only 41. Think positive, may good news come. I believe there is someone out there meant for you. It's just a matter of time.

  • I feel your pain

  • um...if you make six figures a year...tell them that on the sly BEFORE you ask them out!

  • It's not a bad thing to be in your 40s and single. It's just uncommon. Some women may see this and think to themselves that there may be something missing...asking themselves... "well, why hasn't there been past relationships" "Is he a momma's boy?" "Is he immature?" In all honesty... BUT...You've just got to PROVE to these women that age is just a number, and that you are willing to love, start a family...prove that you're not immature, strong willed, and just a MAN - GRRR! lol... It's definitely not wrong for you to be interested in younger women, but it will be even more difficult to find a younger woman who's interest will match yours. My best advice... DON'T GIVE UP. Never think it's too late to achieve your goals...But also, trying TOO hard is a bad thing. If you give up, you'll come off as negative when it comes to meeting/building new potential relationships since you'll have it stuck in your head that it's impossible...if you try too hard, you'll come off as too desperate, which is usualy not very attractive... just think positive, sit back, and know that you will one day have these things!

  • No you can still get married. Men look better at an older age than women, women look young until they reach 35, after that they aren't so young anymore. It may be hard to get a 21 year old but if you got someone 10 years younger than you, that would be good too. Personally I think if you got someone who is 21, it seems like you can be her father. You can still have children if you want some offspring.

  • If it happens it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. Just don't get disappointed if it doesn't happen. If it does it will probably be at the least expected time. Never search for the idea of a relationship. Just happen upon a relationship. (: Good luck!

  • Heck no! The last two guys I dated were in their early 40s. I'm 29 and honestly I personally find that guys in their early 40s are much more mature, and I find I tend to have more tings in common with them than guys my age.

  • By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

    • I will have to quote this as anonymous user in my English essay for Macbeth hahahhahhahahhahhah. Yes I'm dead serious this is great

  • If I were you, I'd stay to the 30+ pool. You're only 41, the 38 year olds shouldn't be saying you look old. Do you take care of yourself? shave? dress nice? dye your hair? I know it is vain, but these things ARE important to some degree.. otherwise you're looking at women who expect more but aren't giving them it. Are your standards too high?There are A LOT of single women out there that are in the same boat as you, thinking the same things you're thinking. You gotta know where to look. I have no idea where, but a good place might be online :)

    • You couldn't have said it better. And I agree...stick to the 30+ pool. Girls in their 20s aren't as likely to be interested...unless you intend on spoiling them...then you'll get your poor heart crushed :(.

  • You have posted on here multiple times on being in your 40's and still single. The men I have met who are still single in their 40's, though they will deny it, want to be single. They simply are not interested in what it takes to be part of a couple. They are often out of touch with the things they do that make it very difficult for them to be married, much less have children. Being in a relationship is not for everyone, though I think the desire to have a partner is very high. But, if you are someone who is rigid, or has difficulty expressing emotions, or cannot really understand another person's needs, or loses interest in a partner after a short period of time, or any combination of the above, a long-term relationship is unlikely to happen for you. It's not a life sentence, but it is a wake-up call for you to determine and address what is holding you back. Sure, a lot of people simply cannot deal with being critical of themselves, but you can do it if you want.As far as young women, if you have not fallen in love with anyone or sustained a long-term relationship, young women and older women will find that a huge warning sign and they have every right too. I wouldn't want to invest time with a guy and start falling in love with someone who is highly unlikely to stay with me. Consider their needs. There is nothing wrong with them not wanting to take a risk on someone toying with their affections. So, good luck, the power is in your hands, no one else's, to change your destiny. Take control of your life, don't just complain.

  • Try to find someone in the same boat as you! and about the same age. you're never to old to find love so don't give up on it and let someone pass you by...

  • wow..rarely do guys go for that...but I don't see the problem with wanting what you want..i m 26, and personally, I'd rather older guys...i m not attracted to men my age or younger...keep'll get what you want..pray about it.PS - keep a smile : )

  • just work on yourself and your looks and do stuff to make yourself really attractive to those girls.

  • Admit it, you only like younger girls because they aren't ready to settle down and subconsciously you don't want to settle down either. Be honest with yourself. You're not a bad looking guy, you just have unrealistic expectations. If you're looking for a wife, then try someone in their 30's, who is already stable, sexually knowledgable, and independent.

  • i don't think its a turn off I think its a turn off when a guy (any age ) asks someone out when they aren't single! like they said age is just a number! but I mean do they have to be really young? you shouldn't be so picky. I know people who are in their 40s and look way younger. and 40s isn't very old you know. try e harmony , or some other dating site. they have hundreds of them, but stop feeling bad for yourself saying you'll be alone for ever. that's negative and people don't like negativety. try to be positive, smile, get out there meet people

  • My aunt is the nicest person and she is 41 and single also. She does so much for others, she is always watching her nieces and nephews and her friend's children for them when they want to go out. She works hard and puts others before her. She is pretty too. But she just didn't meet the right guy, she doesn't really date now. But anyway, you can still be a great person and be happy and single. Maybe you can try online dating? A lot of people have found relationships online. And just put yourself out there, you're not the only one your age without a wife. There is plently of women around who want to get married


  • just work on things to attract women I guess. in today's society, people care less about age. just be positive and work towards that goal of having a family someday with kids.

  • These days age doesn't really matter much. There are plenty of men in there forty's and fifty's with women in there twenty's and thirty's there's also women having babies in there fifty's. I don't know anything about you but I'm going to give you some advice. Take good care of yourself, workout, be well groomed just focus on you. I'm not saying you have to change yourself but there's always room for improvement in your personal life as well as in your professional life. Once you start to think differently your confidence level will go up and things will change.

  • Dude. Online dating sites. Seriously. You're matched up with people of similar interests, usually local, who are interested in your age group. However, more of your problem might stem from the fact you're poking around a website predominately populated by under 18 year old. THAT, my friend, comes off as more than a little creepy.

    • So now that I'm out of college its creepy to be here? The site is for relationship advice, not limited to my-pubes-are-coming-in questions.

  • most guys want a younger women, so it isn't wrong of you to want one. it is wrong of you to pursue younger women (21-29) and it's wrong of you to miss out on a potential future with someone just because they aren't young, so maybe you should try going for women your own age.if she can't have babies anymore, then you could always adopt, which I heard is very fulfilling, and you're helping out by giving a loving home to one more homeless child out there.

  • Age is just a number. My dad's 41.. Him and my mom seperated, and now he has a girlfriend.. and she's ONLY 28! There's plenty of fish in the sea, it just takes some swimming around. You're not wrong for wanting a younger woman, it's normal for a man of your age. Just remember, you're never too old to fall in love.

  • Well how were you as a young man? Most men say they don't want to get married but I think its nice and one day when there lonely they realize they should have. Ain't nothing wrong or shameful in having a woman at home who loves you to come home to. Someone to make a house a home. Its not perverted to want someone younger that can give you children. That's something I believe everyone should experience. People saying about wanting there freedom is because the haven't grown up, your going to encounter that a lot with younger woman. I was raised old school so I'm probably a little different then what your going to run into... You'll find better luck next time quoting dr hook here lol just keep truckin you will find somebody. I bet you wish you started looking sooner rather than later huh?

    • I regret not trying to get married in my 20s...I feel like life has left me behind and people don't and can't understand how I feel

  • Keep looking for a woman. Maybe somewhere in her 30s would be good too, right? It doesn't have to be that young (21) right? Do you mind it if the woman already has kids? I'm just curious. Keep looking.

    • I was going to write that.

  • that's a bit weird. I would think that there must be something wrong with offense

    • thats so not true. many people just focus on money and jobs and school and not the opposite sex. I surely focus more on money!

    • 40's and never been in love enough to marry someone. not normal

    • That's nonsense! While there are people out there that have serous issues you shouldn't categorize someone that's has never married as having personality or social issues. That's a harsh comment especially since you really don't know the person.

    • Show Older
  • Are you like that guy in high school who said he'd never get married & then when he got older realized how stupid that actually was?

  • NOOOOOO lol don't give up that's other ppls opinion your not a perv just don't go for that low of an age your going 2 findsomeone okay

  • Well I never wanna have kids. not even when I get older. I like my body and I like my freedom.

    • HECK YEA girly! honestly I have one kid, a little girl...but I am so over the weight gain and working so hard to get that perfect body again, over it. I'd rather be in shape and healthy than like everyone I know my age who are moo cows with babies popping out like nothin

    • IF...i wanted a kid id have my own but...i don't want one because I also like my freedom. Ill just spoil my sisters kids lol then give them back to her haha

    • Lets hang out lol....i like a girl that thins ahead...why is everyone wanting to ruin their bodies...adoption exists

    • Show Older
  • You will find her Larry. She is out there. Just keep your head up and keep smiling. Sometimes if you're not looking for love, it will find you.

    • I like the effort, but guys REALLY hate hearing that, larry I would look at online Dating, There are actually Quite a few 23 - 35 year Olds who Want a mature and established man instead of 20 year olds who will screw them over/ possibly move on in three months

  • My group of girlfriends constantly fantasizes about older men, it's the appeal of maturity and loyalty they believe is already instilled in older guys- that they have a more 'serious' prospect with them. My only recommendation in reference to the 'sensitivity' of the age difference is to emphasise your desire for commitment, just in fear that you may come across badly. Women detest older sleazes, but adore older romantics. Its all about how you present yourself and your intentions- carefully. You definitely should endeavour online as suggested by others.

  • After the update I still strongly suggest online dating before you honestly give up, because you never know what can happen, there are many people who like older men, one of my best friends is 19 and her boyfriend is in his late 30s. Age doesn't matter.

  • Show More

What Guys Said 30

  • I know about 5 guys who met their wives on the internet (not here!), so keep trying.Me, when I get too old for hookups I'll just take up drinking.

  • It's definitely not too late. BUT. . .You'd be better served getting out there and meeting lots of girls and spending less time in front of your computer writing about how much you're turned on by period blood.And just as an FYI chief, women are horniest during their most FERTILE period in their cycle, which is NOT during menstration. This is something you'd learn if you got off the computer and got your hands on a living, breathing (and yes, menstrating) woman.Good luck!

  • Well I just finished reading what everyone had to say here and I'm of the opinion it doesn't matter how much of an age difference there is between two consenting adults as it's none of society's business anyways. Bravo Mytar. Your advice is so right on! If the younger woman you desire has a problem with the age difference then just move on because true love is a deeper kind of understanding. I just turned 44 and realized a few weeks ago that I didn't want to die alone. I don't look, act, nor feel 44. Furthermore, since it's my desire to start a family and to increase the probability of having one I need to seek out a woman in the range of about 26 to 33 give or take a few years. The way I see it, at least from a statistical perspective, I'll probably end up dying before her but in exchange for the years of happiness I have with her I'd leave to her all of my worldly possessions. She then has the resources to go on with another life, husband etc. What's wrong with that?

  • so I assume you have been single permanently? always have been?

  • I would say pray to God and make a list of things your looking for. I think you come off as a God-fearing man and I know the miracles he can do for you. I have no idea what he has in store for you but only you can find that out. All you have to do is trust and obey and I think you should be okay.

  • Will farell! Tell us a joke!

  • Hmmm... I wasn't aware that 41 year old single women were extinct, lolbut... if your "skills" haven't changed, neither will your luck...keep doing the same things and expecting new results is... crazyits normal to like younger women. And, if your still "in your prime" and wealthy, sure, you too can bang a gold digger... have at it...just try to not look TOO pathetic while your doing it, k?

  • Marriage and kids are way overrated, there are plenty of things to do! Learn a instrument, its never late! have as much fun as you can, because life is shorter than it seems to be.

  • Dude..this is 1 of lifes karma can't live a life of being a single stud and expect to reach the age of 41 to start settling had your chance to grow up, be a man and have a family the correct your going to need to find a girl that's either crazy enough to go for someone that much older than her...or a girl with serious issues, where like, her fathers friends used to touch her...either way, she's not gona be all their in the head...and women round your age have either had kids or have decided not to...oh, that or they're reaching the menopause stage...dude, in all honesty...ill pray for you. good luck.

  • maybe lary69 is not the best name if you are looking for chicks, it like having mike hunt or I love tofu as you are name.if you are looking for young chicks get a letter-men a BMW and a bottle of soko, also let them call you daddy. just call me Jesus, your welcome.

  • find someone your own age i.e around 34+

  • Dude you can't be so all or nothing about the situation haha...Unless you're some sort of super successful ultra hip modern stud, chances are you're never going to get a 20-something to settle down for the family life with you.But for god sakes man, that doesn't mean you should give up and be alone haha!We live in the age of the MILF, as crude as it may be to say, there's plenty of hotties in your age range I guarantee it.If you were 60 I would probably be telling you to start getting wicked good at shuffle board or something, but you're 41. Get out there.

  • Lol man relax. First stop thinking of yourself as some miserable fool. It's not weird to be old and date women. Hell I see it all the time at the mall or at a club/pub. There's some granddaddy with a cute girl always. Just take it easy. Be Alpha. And don't blame it on God or anyone else, you're the ruler of your own destiny :)

  • A friend of mine didn't get married until he was in his mid 40s! They had kids and are having a blast. He says he got all the advantages of being single while he was younger, and all the benefits of being married and having children when they could actually afford them!One of the tricks is to date in your age group. Younger women usually aren't very interested in older men (unless they happen to have money!) because they can easily find men their own age or even younger.Also, be realistic. If you're an average looking guy in average shape, don't expect super models to fall all over themselves for you.Lastly, get involved in lots of clubs, volunteering, etc. Those are places that you're likely to find other singles who are also looking. Good luck!

  • Hell, I got you beat. I'm 42, never being married -- no desire to -- and no kids...that I know of. I'm an uncle and that's enough for me. When I hear my brothers kids screaming all through his house,, I need a beer just to kill the headache! I couldnt' stand it. No kids for me, please. Love them, but so long as they're not mind.As for wanting a younger woman... hell, who wouldn't want one?

  • Keep trying. If they say your too old, you tell yourself they are too immature to want to be with them. What? Make it about them instead? Why not it is still the truth (if it is only due to your age then she is either immature, superficial etc...) and while she was trying to reject you she made you aware you would not want her anyway. Your attitude about it matters. Your opinion of it is the only thing that matters. The wrong attitude and opinion will hold you back.Just because you want kids do not discount some of the older ones just a bit younger than you or your age either. It is a bit harder if she is older (it is going to be anyway since you are older), and can expect it to take a bit more time to conceive but think of how much fun you will have in the process of getting her pregnant.

  • no man, don't by any means give up. if you want a family than that is the sort of thing, once decided, for f*** sakes go for it until your dead. don't give up. if you want a younger woman go for that too, don't set your standards low either. find a girl you like and work at her, if you fail move on. good luck man, don't give up...

  • Has anyone brought up mail order brides yet? If the only reason you want to get married is to have kids, there are girls in other countries that would love someone to start a family with and provide for them. Lots of paperwork, but if this is what you want you can have it.

  • Being alone shouldn't automatically make you feel lonely. If you find you're lonely then I'd suggest you do two things...1) Learn to like your own company. If you can't stand being with yourself then it might be time to find out why.2) Being lonely likely means you want to connect with people... which is what friends and family are for! Reconnect, be social, and you'll find that being single doesn't mean you're destined to feel lonely.

  • "Update: Hey thanks everyone...I guess I waited too long in life...I will just give up and be alone...I don't want to be thought of as a weird pervert!"Come on man... you'd rather give up what you want because you're worried someone you don't even know might think you're a pervert? That's really what's going to stop you from meeting the woman of your dreams?Besides, a 40 year old dating a 30 year old will NEVER be seen as a pervert. Unless you're chasing 16 year olds you'll be fine.~ Robby

  • wow, so you are going to base you life on the way other people look at you, no wonder you are alone. At least you are blaming the right person...

  • You are fortunate to be man who is single at this age rather then a woman. If you are in good shape and good health you still have time. I think your biological clock is setting alarms, so yes you do need to date.My advice is do NOT ask out women younger than 28 UNLESS they come to you. Some will. Many young women like older men because of their self control and experience. Also they if they see an older man who is still fit/attractive they know you have good genes...good for future offspring. But watch out for freeloader's who are looking for sugar daddy's (I recently dumped a 20 year old after she showed ZERO gratitude for me paying for everything after 15 dates).I don't know your past but don't be ashamed of never being married. Life has plans for everybody and you just have to go with the flow. Also I know your are mature enough to not lot these little bitches get to you with their criticism...just remember they are kids. Forget the comments about weird, pervert, etc...that is just a bunch immature bs. They don't know any better. Also I suggest the following ideas:-Date women from other countries or actually go to other countries. American seems real "structured" on some things like age groups in dating-Put vaseline lotion on your race daily. It will help your skin look younger.-Always get plenty of sleep-Take liquid collagen it will help fight wrinkles-If you can afford it get human growth hormone injections. It will help you feel younger. Talk to your doctor about it.

  • I say this, Never ever give up. Love can happen at any age. And wanting to have a family and children is a universal natural desire. But you're pushing it with the, "I want someone in their 20's and up". You should be dating girls who are interested in you, first. Not setting a preference of age limits.

  • Persistence mate. Women are an eclectic variety and if you keep trying for longer enough, you will find a supple young girl who is interested in being your devoted housewife to several children you will bear with her. The fact that you are 41 makes it slightly intimidating for them, but you can use it to your advantage too and show them the maturity and experience you've accrued in life so far. By the way, there is nothing wrong with being single for the rest of your life. Society just happens place emphasis on getting married and having children when you are that far down in life.

  • If you have some money and a stable job and some good life experiances you shouldn't have anything to worry about. I think your looking for the wrong girls though...your looking for the young party type and stuff. But there are plenty of younger girls out there looking for a nice stable mature man to get with. ESPECIALLY of other nationality than white usa.Go to its the best free site out there. Lotsa girls looking for lotsa things

  • Brutal honesty, yea you are a little late on finding someone who is willing to have your child. The odds are very small. But you know what, a family never created complete happiness for someone. It is finding a significant other. It is reported that America, one of the wealthiest and successful countries in the world, have the lowest happiness rate among citizens. But the crazy thing is that the happiest people were most likely found in 3rd world countries, were marriage and love is whhat created self worth and happiness, not money. Where divorce rates are much lower too. So I think that finding a significant other wether she be 20, 30, 50 years will improve your happiness and self esteem tremendously and you won't think you are doomed for the rest of your life. Yea you are coming over the hill, but you still have a long time to find somebody to love and cherish and that is what will make you happy.

  • If your only reason for wanting to get married is to have children, I think your better off alone. A marriage is very difficult when your looking for a life partner, its not going to have much chance at all if its just to have your own children. Why do you want kids so bad? There are plenty of kids out there already that need help, you may find more fulfillment volunteering, being able to help good kids that really need someone. What are your reasons for wanting a family?

  • Age doesn't matter. Seriously. The only thing that matters is the VIBE you create with the girls you're attracted to. If you're bringing a vibe that says, "Hey, you're super young and hot and I totally want to put you on a pedestal because I'm not worthy" then she's going to either be bored, creeped out, or annoyed.You won't believe this until you've seen it, but here it is anyways...1) Women can FEEL what you're THINKING. If you think your age matters then you'll behave in such a way that communicates to her that you're not entirely comfortable with the age difference, and her body will literally FEEL that insecurity, and it will ultimately push her away. You need to find a way to get RIGHT with yourself. If you don't think you're worthy of the attention of a hot young woman, then neither will she. If you don't have a tonne of love and respect for you SELF then why would she?2) Being older is an advantage. It gives you experience and wisdom. Respect that about yourself.3) Your life style dictates what comes into your life. If your lifestyle keeps you at home, alone, or at home playing poker with buddies, or prevents you from understanding current trends (fashion, news, politics, etc) then you're never going to meet younger women and you're never going to be able to connect with them. I'm not saying you need to have a mid-life crisis. Just take some time and read GQ or some other young-man magazine. Try to get a handle on what's current, otherwise you'll only ever connect with women you're own age.4) Don't "ask women out." That's too weak. That's too much like seeking approval or asking permission. When you want a woman it's not your job to convince her to like you... it's your job to be so awesome and fun and interesting that she FEELS like she needs to know more about you. Don't ask girls out, invite them on adventures.Try something like this, "Hey, I planning on checking out this new dessert place I just heard about Wednesday night. Join me!"Then invite her out again, and again, etc.~ RobbyMy Blog ( link )P.S. You seem like a pretty decent dude, but I can already tell from your profile that you're coming across as insecure and uncertain (even if you're not.). For example, "Please no rude comments" is something someone who worries what other think would say. It comes across as insecure. Don't do that. Or "A curious guy who wants to enjoy life and make others happy. Please don't prejudge me ..." is the exact same problem. Don't spend your life trying to make others happy... until you've already made yourself happy. You're not responsible for others, only yourself. Trust me on this!

    • Lol! Thanks dude, I love this place and I love watching guys who struggle with women suddenly really "get it." Most guys on here are really decent dudes who just need a nudge in the right direction. I was nudged for years before I opened my eyes and now I'm hoping to help a few fellow men.

    • Hey bobair. It's been months. Glad to see your still giving up your time and providing the answers to all life?s mysteries. As always, I fully agree.

  • It isn't wrong to want a younger woman, but lets look at it this way, if you were say, 20-24 years and if a girl who's say, 40-42yrs would ask you out, what would you do ? As a guy, I feel kinda sad for the ladies that, men actually want the best, and not really care about what a woman wants. Like, I've seen guys who're kinda fat, who hot thin/slim girls, but would turn down a girl who's fat, even though they're fat themselves. Well I'm going off topic, but the thing is I think you should look at dating women who're about the same age as you, I'm sure you're not gonna end up alone, well, at-least I hope that wouldn't happen, Good Luck mate!

    • I agree with you...people put down a list of must-have for their partner, but don't fill them out you said...same applies for girls...they are on the heavy-side and never get hit on and complain when the 9-10 guy is not paying her attention...Uhh hello...He might satisfy your list, but do you satisfy his?...same for the age...

  • If you want to play "dad" you could just date a single mom, as long as her kids aren't hellions that would probably be your best bet. There are lots of nice, good looking single moms out there who would love to be with a no-bullsh*t, 40 year old guy. As far as kids that you yourself make you're going to have to find someone with a similar mindset who is that age as no girl who is 20 is going to want to have kids with a 40 year old guy, at least no girl who is in her right mind. That's just too big of a gap. A girl who's 30? Maybe. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but in all honesty I think you waited too long.

    • I just stumbled onto this site and I can completely relate to this thread. I am 41 and single and the fact that I AM still single really gets in the way of my getting relationships... and keeps me single. When I see a woman whom I want to approach or if I'm meeting a woman for the first time, my first thought is "she's wondering why I'm still single and what's wrong with me" or "she won't want to be with me because I don't have enough long term relationship experience".

    • You aren't destined to be lonely, you just need to be realistic. I have met a TON of women who were in their 40's who I would have loved to date but they wanted an older guy. There are LOTS of goodlooking women in their 40's who take care of themselves, don't have a ton of baggage and like mature, honest men. But as far as kids go, biologically you can make them but caring for them? Being 60-65 when your son turns 18? Shit, how long you think you're going to live - 130?

    • My bf's almost 30 & I'm not yet 20...I'd be happy if I had his babies!! But I think that age gap is kinda dad's about 20-something years older than me...i think other girls would also relate you to their dad if you're near their father's age range.

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