Tired of being just 'that really nice guy' ..what's wrong?

Hi all, I'm a 25yr old male and I'm finding myself in a situation which is slowly becoming a major problem in my life. Its definitely nothing new, and I'm sure that all of you have been trough it several times, although maybe not for this long.

Basically for the past 6 years or so, I've never managed to get into a 'relationship' that lasted for more than a couple of weeks (if you can call that a relationship!) And in all cases I was the one getting 'dumped'. I've been out with many girls during this time and its always the same story: we date and spend a week or two together and then, one fine day she tells me that we better stop there, that I'm a really nice guy but that we can only be friends. Its always like that.

Now of course I know that these are things that happen often to everyone but this situation has repeated itself for so many times that I'm starting to think there must be something wrong with me! But what's wrong? .I mean, I'm physically an average-looking guy, I've got a good job, I do my best to be both a gentleman and fun with my date. In fact the time spent together is normally very intense and fun! I just cannot understand why nobody seems to have any feelings towards me other than friendship !.and it is true that I'm still good friends with most of these girls I've been with. That is what is really killing me. I honestly do my best to get into a lasting relationship but for some reason I just cannot!. All these rejections are the cause of my self esteem really dropping hard and that is making it more difficult for me to give my best to a girl, its like I'm always afraid that at some random instant she'll just dump me for no apparent reason!

Has anyone been in a similar situation for this long? any suggestions? what can I do? thanks.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yep, been there done that. But I think you said it yourself: 'i do my best to be both a gentleman and fun with my date." Unfortunately for the so called nice guys, that sometimes comes out as being clingy, having no spine, and who knows what else. You have to know how to build the mystery as to who you are, and you have to know what is it that women want; yes, that sounds like a cliche, but women want that bad boy type of guy; many will deny it, but then you come to the daily occurrence of, 'how come all the jerks get all the women?"

    I used to be just like you.was very polite on my dates, tried to do things which I thought were fun, and well, that never ever got me anywhere; fortunately for me, as I have said in my posts, that did make me bitter,and next thing I know, out of pure pissyness, I started developing an attitude with women.

    Lo and behold, next thing I know, women were after me. At the time I wasn't sure what was going on, but now there is a lot material on the subject (you tube videos and tv series), I finally understood what happened to me back then; unfortunately, I didn't have the material that exists now, but I did my best back then.

    Either way man, I have given specific detailed advice to a couple of losers on this board, and because they are losers, they didn't get what my message was. So all I can tell you is, you need to learn how to be a bad boy, and once you understand what it takes to be one, then you will see how women will start worshipping you. The key to your problem is learning what is it that makes women tick, and how do you use that to your advantage. And with all the material out there, this shouldn't be a problem for you.