Why do I get butterflies every time I seem my ex, a picture or even when people say his name!?

[Anonymous]

its been 5 months since we broke up. He is dating a new girl now... and I think I still have feelings for him. I actually can't stand it. I'm not obsessed with him, and the fact that he's with another girl doesn't really bother me.. its just the fact that I don't even know him anymore, and he just makes me so mad because he's a total d*** to me, and doesn't even talk to me anymore because of his new girl. and pretty soon I have to go to the same school as them. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm under a lot of stress these days and I just want to hang out with him? it's weird. I think I just miss having someone there for me. it just doesn't feel like I will ever stop missing him.

[sarahd]

I went/am going through a similar thing. My ex is all but completely out of my life-even moved a few hours away to be with his new girlfriend. But when a mutual friend talks about hanging out with him I get anxious. I don't think it's because I'm obsessed or still have real feelings for him. But I do think it's just my body and minds way of protecting me. I feel like reminders of him remind me of how deeply he hurt me and how the break up affected me. It's almost as if my mind is saying "Don't go near that, remember what happened?!"

Just continue to move on, time will certainly help more than you think it can at the moment. And it's good you recognize loneliness vs missing your ex-In the good times you remember how happy and comfortable you were but you also need to remember the bad too. Not so that you end up hating him but so you can remember it wasn't always as good as you might have liked. Don't live so much in the future either. You might have to endure him and his new girlfriend at the same school soon, but not today. So just focus on how you feel today, and leave the rest of that stuff alone until you cross that bridge. Stay strong, I know it really sucks, but every day is a small victory!

[RealDeal]

Make a list of all the things he does that you couldn't live with and all the things you couldn't stand he did. After you are done doing that, replace "he" with "I". By doing this you will acknowledge all the things you allowed him to get away with. People only treat you the way you let them treat you. You're really mad at yourself right now. It's okay it happens. We don't really learn until we make mistakes.

I believe that you will get over him. Maybe, you are not comfortable with being alone? In order for us to be more self aware we should spend more time alone to correct all of our past mistakes. After all that is how we learn, from our experiences.

He might be with someone else, but understand that this stuff takes time. He could be "trying" to move on in order to disguise the pain. It's easy to keep your mind off some things when you are preoccupied.

Stay positive, this is normal. Again, this takes time. Take this time to improve yourself, mentality and physically (working out really does do a lot for your stress and self confidence). You might love this guy but love yourself more. You deserve better, don't settle for less.

Good luck :)