Why do I still want someone who clearly doesn't want me?

A few months ago I started seeing this guy that I really liked. The funny thing is I have no idea why I like him, except that he's just really nice and pleasant to be around. In the beginning things were great, but without going into details things went down hill.

So, I started dating someone else because I didn't want to rest my time and energy on someone that wasn't into me. And this guy is really into me and wants to spend time with me. And I've always believed that my life would be easier if I found someone who was more into me than I was into him. And I found that someone. But he...bores me. There's no other word for it. He's perfectly nice, but when with him, I find my mind wandering.

And I keep going back to the first guy though my head tells me he's a waste of time. I really don't know why I'm so into this guy. I think it might be because we're still talking and he still shows some interest in me.

I don't understand why I can't be interested in the guy that actually wants me and why I'm so into the guy that doesn't.



Most Helpful Guy

  • cuz you want him.

    • simple and to the point

What Guys Said 6

  • People want what they can't have. I'm in a similar situation. My advice would be stop talking to the guy you want, this will help you have some time to figure things out. It also may help him to realize what's he is missing and he might decide that he wants to pursue you. The guy you are bored with get rid of. While it may not hurt you to break up with him it may hurt him when you do. If you know your not into this guy then don't lead him on. He could end up resenting you for it. Sounds like you need to figure out exactly what it is that you really want. Once you take some time you might see that you don't want that guy as much as you think.

  • It's a psychological issue, dear. You should go and talk to a shrink about the possible reasons in your past that make you feel this way.

  • A whole bunch of people are like that, they can only really go after people they can't have. I honestly know of no way to cure yourself from it =[ A lot of my friends suffer from it... I hope you find a way though ^_^

  • Ouch. That sounds like me :(

  • take pictures of the men you find hottest and post them on your wall. bring him too your room and hell ask you who those people are. tell him you just love buff guys. if he really loves you hell start hitting the gym right away and within 6 months you'll see how interested you become;)

    hope this helps :)


What Girls Said 5

  • Because sometimes we want those who don't want us back. It feels pathetic, doesn't it? Don't feel bad though because we've all been there.

  • Like reading what my heart has wriiten on it some guys just makes it so hard to understand that they have this girl who is total into them without wanting something from them they been with so many girls who always want something and that girl who doesn't they act like they have to control tell him like hey you have feelings for him and that you want to be with him but the best girl for you won't wait around

  • What you feel is because psychologically "desired is what is deprived" this means that you may always think of the things that you cannot reach or hold just because they are far!

    Give the second guy a chance to see what is special about him, but if you still feel he is not the right person for you, then you have to quit.

    You might just think about the first guy because you can't get him or may be you just see him not boring but this is not enough for a relationship to start especially if he is not interested in you!

    Wait for the right person to come but don't stay with someone you are not convinced of just not to be lonely!

  • LOL sounds like me...

    and it's so sad. Sorry no advice. I have the same problem.

  • Because you like a challenge. The guy who intrigues you keeps you on your toes, so naturally you're more interested in a chase. It's just human nature. It'd be similar to if you were a hunter and you just had a dead moose dropped on your doorstep. Where's the fun in that? The real fun is when you go out, you hunt and you kill a moose for yourself.

    A lame example because I dislike hunting but I hope it makes my point.