Guys: why would you dump a great girl?

[Anonymous]

Why would you dump a girl who think is a great person, with a great personality, is pretty, intelligent and unique and cares about you and gives you space?

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+1 y

and was really good in bed

[Anonymous]

well..

(1) great person & great personality, are kind of redundant.

(2) people who use redundant terms to express themselves imply that they don't "really" have anything "substantial" to offer or bring to the table.

(3) her being pretty has nothing to do with her getting dumped; it has a lot to do with her getting into a relationship, but nothing at all with why the guy has exited the relationship.

(4) unique? who cares? "dude! my girl has three-boobs, and a third eye where her belly button is, and listens to really unique music, from people in Africa that rub leaves against trees and sand." On the same note, please see note (1) about redundancy, and note (2) about what that implies about people whom use it to express their personal value to others.

(5) dumped because she's smart? that's a pretty stupid thing to say.

(6) PERSONALITY!

The number one reason guys dump girls is because of her personality. The girl is either insecure, egotistical, narcissistic, self-centered, full of herself, or riding some kind of "high horse;" (moral, classy, I'm a lady, I'm worth so much, you're luck to even have my attention, etc).

(7) Marriage

I guess it's a branch of personality. I mean, think about the people who "need" to be married. They're "gullible," so they buy into commercialized notions of love (legal industry, wedding industry, honeymoon industry, etc.) But on a more emotionally realistic basis, they're insecure.

"What if I get old and don't look as good? I don't want him to leave me."

Really? So you mean, you'd rather enter into a legally binding relationship with someone, under the pretense of "love," to make it harder and more costly for the two of you to leave each other later on, in the event you discover he doesn't really love you? That makes sense.

"What if he wakes up one day and doesn't want me anymore?"

What if you have to spend the rest of your life with that person? Which is better: (1) both of you going your own separate ways and being with someone whom you love and whom also loves you, or (2) being legally and financially forced to be with someone you don't love, and whom doesn't love you?

So when a girl's personality is centered around "marriage," she's communicating to me that she's mentally retarded.

When a girl hears the word "freedom" and sh*ts in her pants, she has to go.

When a girl appreciates the notion of "freedom to leave," but also "freedom to stay," she's a keeper. Love isn't forced. Love is a voluntary choice. And if two people can't maintain that voluntary choice, no degree of legal or financial shackles is going to do that for them.

So your "friend" probably got dumped for either reason (6) or (7).

[Asker]

Marraige was not in the picture. And you should blame him for the redundancy because those were things he said to me, not something I just made up, though I do agree, I do have good qualities. The only thing I can think of was that two days before he broke up with me, I had a panic attack (because I have bipolar disorder) and thought he was lying to me about liking me (which I might have actually been right about because he dumped me two days later)

[Asker]

I would also like to point out that many great people do not have great personalities.

[Cyhhgg]

Then they're not great people.

[Chency]

Well, don't know if I've misunderstood something, but there was this girl I REALLY liked, never felt this way about a girl before.

She is going through some stuff in her life right now, and I asked her if she needed some space to get things right in her life, she said yes.

Some weeks after that, I see her kissing another guy, and I then had to dump her, even though it was one of the hardest things I had to do.

She did all the things you say here, and I was understanding for her, and gave her space, she f***ed me up.

I still really likes her, but for me, it's a question about trust, I can't trust her anymore, even though she know she really messed up, and she's really sorry, and no, she isn't over me, and I am not over her, but I feel it's the right thing for me to do, even though it's the hardest thing.

[Maya2982]

My ex said a lot of the same things about me, complimented me all of the time after the breakup, and even told me he was worried I would find someone new quickly because of what a great catch he thought I was. However, no matter how many great attributes he thought I had, they were ultimately not enough to make him fall in love with me. We were together nearly a year and he realized his feelings were just not developing past the like stage so he ended things. It was hard to deal with or understand because if you think someone is so amazing why wouldn't you want to be with them? But I was also in a similar situation with a previous ex where I thought he was great and was a great boyfriend I just wasn't able to develop deeper love feelings for him so I ended it. Having been on both sides I guess I can understand it more, though it doesn't make it an easier to accept.

Maybe this is what happened to your ex because sometimes someone is great on paper and has everything we think we want, but if the feelings aren't there you can't force them. Unfortunately you can't control your emotions and make youself fall in love with someone, no matter how much you think you want to.

[Kickrockslosers]

I'm giving it to you str8 no chaser...so I hope you can handle this. He was not really into you at all, regardless of how pretty, intelligent or unique you happen to be. Really, he was not interested in you. Everything you mentioned appears to be great attributes, however that describes 90% of the girls who are out there. Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I really wouldn't worry about him. There are tons of guys out there who would be interested in a great girl like you. Find those guys and date those guys, then narrow it down to the guy who will treat you well and appreciate you.

Move on sweetie and don't dwell on this guy. KRL

[minas]

maybe that's why he dumped her, because she thinks she is too great,

[1jzsupra]

First of I would never dump a girl like this no matter if our future took us to different places. but I can tell you some reasons y a man would. because of someones career or future wherever they may you go might be able to go making things difficult for you guys to have a relationship or he has eyes on another girl or he just wanted to party and go out and have fun live the single life and sleep with other women.

[awaken03]

even without the sex part..if the girl was worth it then a decent guy wouldn't let go..probable reason could be the attitude of a girl possessive, clingy..or if the guy has his sight on another girl a third party

[tigerman]

If she didn't cheat on me or wasn't into heavy drugs I'd keep her! Only player type guys will get rid of a nice girl once they had their fun, soooo... choose wisely ;)

[rosecoloredglasses]

because he's not ready to settle down yet. he still wants to explore and be with other chicks

[ghoulraider]

Well you didn't mention she was good in bed or at least willing to please her guy in ways he wanted, that were at least reasonable.

[ghoulraider]

Okay, if she's good in bed then I would probably leave her because she's demanding we marry, else she'll leave me. I'm too young for that.

[JennyInLove]

cause he fell for other girl or just lost the feelings. Either one is a good reason.

[Cyhhgg]

Because they're not great. Lol