Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't know how to treat you right?

[Confused232323]

I've been posting on here for weeks anonymously for some reason crying about my ex boyfriend who dumped me after 2 years. I kept thinking I needed him back and tried no contact and other sorts of things that didn't work. He lied to me about not wanting to be in a relationship with anyone. I was his first girlfriend and he never made time for me or put any effort in. Forgot important days too. Very immature guy.

After thinking he would miss me and come to his senses since I treated him so well, I found out he has a dating profile now in which he totally comes off as a pretentious jerk. If I didn't know who that guy was I would've clicked right past him because he sounds like such an asshole. He already met someone on there too (according to people I know).

So I absolutely want nothing to do with him anymore and I hope he gets treated as badly by her as he treated me. If he ever (not that he will) realizes how good I was to him, it'll be too late because I'm never taking him back. He was my first everything too so he broke my heart into a million pieces because he thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Also he treated me like garbage and was barely a boyfriend and when I complained about it he didn't want to deal with that anymore. Gotta love self absorbed narcissists.

So any girls out there who want their exboyfriends back who treated them like they weren't important to them, why? Why should we want them back? I will find someone who actually puts effort into me and isn't a user.

Updates

+1 y

I do feel pretty used and angry right now though.

[thetheme]

Some people know that they are with someone like that from the get go, but they ignore it because they were attracted to the person. For many girls, jerks are much more attractive than the nice reliable come home every night always there for her type of bguys. Let me put it this way. There are MANY good men out there and girls know where to find them. The problem is that those are the guys that girls are NOT attracted to. They are too nice, too "needy" or "clingy", not good looking and so on. It goes the same for girls too. Many guys will intentionally go for the bad girls because of attraction, the excitement that comes with the bad boy of the bad girl, they think that the reliable person is boring and predictable, but then pay for it later. Here's the thing. If there is a dark alley that's a short cut and you have a lot of money in your pocket that can be taken, or for you ladies you have "yourselves" that can be taken, would you go down that alley even though it's quicker? Or would you take the safe route to get to your destination? I have 2 friends that put themselves through something like this. One was with a girl that cheated on him after I warned him about her. He thought I was jealous, we got into an argument, and we weren't friends anymore... Until 6 months later when he came crying at my house because his wife cheated on him, in his bed, with 2 guys at once. Then have another friend that married the same woman twice... And had the nerve to be surprised that it didn't work the second time. The point is that they KNEW that they were with bad girls, and still stayed with them because they were getting an equal trade of value somewhere. Some like the drama because it's exciting. Some stay with someone out of fear of being alone and thinking they won't find anyone else. Some do it because they think they can change the person they are with. Some think that love is all that matters. The list goes on and on. Some people ignore the signs because they are so filled with love so it blinds them from logic, but there are many people that are good that are on the sidelines. It's not worth damaging yourself for a person. Even though you get hurt, don't put yourself down for a long time. Admit to your mistakes, but move forward.

[PHILR]

ACTUALLY YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS AND MAY STILL BE A JERK. because the things you say he did are jerk like qualities . and your right why would anyone want to be treated like that.

you have the age range of (25 -29) hich is just about the right age that many girls actually gets their heads screwed on right and realize that men like that are not worth it.

i als take it that you still might be single because you don't say any different. but now maybe your wondering what type of guy should youy date.

let me ask you a question. do you remember any guy that you may have rejected because he came off as being needy or had the dreaded nice guy qualities(ya that assummed he was boring guy) supposedly being predictable. well actually your age range of girls basically are realizing that they may have misjudged many of these guys and a large portion of them (if they can find some single ones will marry them)

it als a proven fact these same guys that got so readly over looked in high school are known to be better fathers,husbands and providers . and they are more than less likely not to cheat on their partner. they may at times get cheated on (by a gal who hasn't quite lost her want of badboys) but its rare..

hoped this helped

[Tamikaze]

I wanted to stay with an ex that was not treating me the way I wanted to be treated. The only difference is that I knew it was my fault for entering the relationship to begin with. He was who he was, and I was willing to accept the bad with the good I initially got from him. Honestly, even though I was very hurt and angry when he broke up with me, I really cannot say he is a jerk. He did not hide his faults from me, but he was so wonderful to me in some ways that accepting his faults seemed a small price to pay.

Oh, and when someone tells you they are breaking up because they don't want a relationship with anyone, that is rarely the truth. I don't even consider that lying or a character flaw. Break-ups suck and all I need to know is the person is breaking up with me, not a reason. Reasons never change anything. It's not like he could have been honest and told you he wanted to try some fresh meat and you just weren't cutting it anymore.

The good news for me, and for you, is now you have had experience with what you don't want from a guy. Trust me, there is no reason to believe that a guy is great for you when he doesn't make you a priority and doesn't care to listen to what you want. If he cannot remember your birthday or your anniversary, he's lame. They have phone apps that can fix that easily. But, we are the gatekeepers to our own hearts and it is up to us to ditch the ones who don't treat us right, not stay with them in hopes they will change.

Sorry for your loss and I wish you speed in your recovery from this disappointment.

[Confused232323]

Thanks :]

"It's not like he could have been honest and told you he wanted to try some fresh meat and you just weren't cutting it anymore." Hahahahaha yeah

[Tamikaze]

Yes, glad you caught my pithy sarcasm, meant at a slam to his douchiness, and not a reflection on you.

[Confused232323]

He actually just sent me an e-mail saying even though were not in a relationship he wants us to get coffee and catch up because "i'm important to him." I said NO THNX, BRO.

[Tamikaze]

Good for you. After my head cleared from my break-up I had no desire to talk to my ex because he was such an opportunist, always looking out for himself. In fact, he had the nerve to ask me to do his taxes for him (he's a cheapskate) and he would take me out to dinner. When I asked him for a ride to an appointment instead (surgery) he got all funny like I was acting for a big thing (he's a teacher, he could take the time off easily), made me cry and then still thought I was doing his taxes.

[Tamikaze]

My friends told me they would kick my butt if I still did his taxes, but I would have kicked my own butt. He really was such a selfish man. I would never stay with someone like him, or even date someone like him now. Great lesson to learn.

[Confused232323]

Wowwwww, that guy is a huge jerk. Ugh. How are people this selfish? Glad you're rid of him!

[Confused232323]

link

[Anonymous]

Because they presented them with security, that they would be with them even if they are a completely asshole. The majority of the time too, those girls think they can only do worse and find no better, making them feel as if their boyfriend that is treating them horrible is the best thing they will even get in life from a guy. Those would be girls that lack confidence, had a long term relationship with that guy and doesn't want to give up what they have, and maybe they are those type of girls that think they can change everyone. Also, there are girls that hold on to relationships and guys like that because they are too scared of being "alone" in life. Maybe they had a perfect relationship before but it went to hell for some reason and they think that one day everything will magically get better and they won't treat them as sh*t anymore.

[Confused232323]

I have to say I believed most of those things, but NOT ANYMORE. I was caught him in how he made me feel sometimes and not all the time. And his looks. ugh. But also he made it seem like he was oblivious to his behavior like he's just some clueless guy, so I thought he just needed to "learn" how to treat someone since he was inexperienced.

[Opinion Owner]

Very true and I agree with you.

[Elizaj1781]

You Go girl stay strong and think about you . Your too good for him. I was in the same boat I even wanted to take him back until I said what for. What did he do for me nothing but cause pain drama and couldn't get his Sh** right. So do you.. Its gonna make him crazy knowing that your doing way better then he is. Its his loss and your gain.. I'm with you girl stay focus and it's about you now!

[Confused232323]

Thanks! He actually just sent me an e-mail saying even though were not in a relationship (HE'S STILL LYING AND SAYING HE DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO DATE EVEN THOUGH HE'S HUNTING FOR NEW PREY ALL DAY LONG) he wants us to get coffee and catch up because "i'm important to him." I said NO THNX, BRO.

[Confused232323]

haha check out this song link

[confused_gal223]

because we never want to lose something we have...we don't want to take the risk of being sinlgle. the fear in us says tht "he was the one. I lost him"...which is total bullsh*t...