Been there... To be honest, this is a hard one because it will affect your relationship. Don't bring this on her over a phone call. In my experience, the guy I hung out with took me out on a few outings (nice ones by the way) and during the 3rd one made a comment to the like of "is it wrong if I like doing this with you? I want to do it more often, but desire for it to be constant and not worry. I'm concerned that if I pretend I don't want you, want to be with you, wake up with you, laugh, argue, make love to you...I will end up regretting I never did anything. I don't want to be that guy. The one who said nothing. I will rather say something and risk making it awkward between us then pretending. If it means we don't hang out as often...i'm willing to risk that. But you need to know. You deserve that and so much more...(and I forget the rest...I was in shock, because like you I always thought this guy was a playboy. But it was a serious moment that deserved serious actions)"
The results: we're not together anymore, but that speech was what every girl wants to hear. Heartfelt honesty. Luck may be on your side: Most girls who have a guy friend and have already dated them in the past, most likely have some feelings left for u. You never stop loving/caring for someone unless they are an ass.
If you don't say anything...u'll be 'that' guy who never said anything. And that's something you shouldn't do. Will it risk your special bond. Yeah, but if you don't speak then u'll end up taking it out on her in a negative way (such as an outburst). SO, I suggest that you take her out a few times, maybe on the night you tell her who could take her star gazing or something romantic where it's quite. Be you. Tell her you want another try because you can't pretend it doesn't effect you. Or tell her that your closeness is hard and because of that, you need some space. It's too personal. Tell her what you want, but don't spring it on her out of nowhere. Work up to it. Again, don't be the guy who didn't do anything. If you are going to have regrets...Have regrets because you tried, not because you didn't.
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OK... Read carefully: Make sure you start having the upper hand in the friendship. "You are the strong one." Which means she can talk about her problems, make a pity party for herself and she is the one who will look for you for help. In other words "spoil" her. Never ever share the same pity boat as her and make her feel that YOU are in fact stronger. When she starts caring about your opinion about her... you criticize her a bit (do not be too harsh) if she makes the changes to satisfy you... you know you have her caught in your elaborate web. During the part where you wound her feelings a bit, that is when you observe carefully for bursts of sadness or whatever and that is when you come into the picture and hug her. You are giving her affection and you are the only one who knows her whole self and who can hug her when she is in a down period.
Hope this makes sence.
keep busy and unless it's really important, then you can reply to her ways to contact you. she sounds like she depends on you for some support. it does not hurt to be friends, but if your decision is to solely be friends, then keep the distance, make your time booked and only talk to her when it's important. cheers.
Um tell her this. Be totally upfront. Tell her you need some space because you might develop feelings for her, and since she sees you as a freind it might ruin the freindship in some way>
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but if you like her a a friend why should you feel used- or is it that y don't like her as a friend just as a girlfriend. you wouldn't get mad if one of your guy friend wanted to hang out right? so its because you like her? how do you know she doesn't 'like' you?
how do you know she doesn't like you? Girls talk about other guys to guys that they like just so the guy will become jealous and realize that the girl is a "catch" I mean if you really do feel like she's put you in the for sure friend zone, then be short with her. Like when she calls say something like "soo I actually gotta go to t-ball practice" or something like that so she realizes how much she relies on you.
Come up with other things to do, make plans with other people, that sort of thing. When she calls you up to talk or to hang out, let her know that while you appreciate her company, you're busy at the moment and another time would be better.
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