I'm confused about your statement that he's playful when you're about to have sex. That could be a good thing.
It sounds like things have just gotten stale between the two of you through no one's fault. Now you two need to sit down and have a relationship talk. You don't want to freak him out so don't use "you" statements. You can start with "I' statements like "I've been thinking about us lately and wanted to express what I'm feeling." You could let him know that you feel like things aren't as romantic between you two as maybe they use to be, and you just want to know how he is feeling about it. Then, just shut up & listen. This will be the hardest thing you ever do. But just listen & don't interrupt when he starts talking. At first, I guarantee he'll say he doesn't know what you're talking about, then you'll prompt him by saying (nothing critical) that sometimes we don't seem as close as we use to and you would like more. Then ask him what he thinks about that. He will talk. Just listen. When he does, don't try to "fix" anything he says while he talks, because he will say things that may sound hurtful like, yea, I agree, instead of, "oh no baby, everything is great." Which is what we like & want to hear.
So, listen & then the two of you can decide how to move on & get what you want & make your relationship better. It's not bad, relationships just get into a rut & we don't realize it until we need to do something about. Relationships are a lot of work. TONS! And it's worth it. Tell him how much he is worth it.
You'll be fine. Good luck, sister.
Most Helpful Opinions
Well, if you haven't discussed this with him, be gentle. He may feel that as he's paying for everything he doesn't have to make an effort, and this sort of thinking is a relationship-killer in the long-term.
You might want to ask him first what HE would like to happen in the relationship - it makes it easier to direct the conversation towards your wants/needs and it also means you can find out why he's acting this way.
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