Why do I cry so easily? I'm a guy by the way.

Question

I'm not gay, gender confused, depressed or anything like that!

I'm just a normal 17 year old straight guy!

When I get sad or angry, my eyes begin to tear up especially when I argue with my parents and when I try to talk about a problem I have. I never purposely cry but my tears just come out INVOLUNTARILY! when this happens, I feel like a sissy girl and I become so ashamed of myself! I really want to stop this. Its so f***ing embarrassing when it happens in public. other guys don't cry but why do I cry so easily... I don't cry randomly, but it happens when I get overwhelmed... I just can't help it my eyes just water up...Not even any techniques to avoid tears when they're on there way helped. How can I get rid of this?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You don't need to be a woman or gay to be emotional. Human beings are mostly emotional creatures, some more than others. It's perfectly normal and you can train yourself to be more in control of your emotions. I used to cry about things like this, and it was beyond my control, but then someone once told me I was only crying because I'm a "woman." So what I did was every night I would think of something terribly sad, like my parents dying or me being raped, and I wouldn't cry. It was really hard at first, but after months of self-torture, I was able to control my emotions a lot better. Now I barely flinch when people get up in my face, or even during awful situations I find myself forcing myself to cry because I just can't anymore.

I hate to sound like a feminazi, but you're being extremely sexist in upholding the status quo of women being "overly emotional," when clearly you don't need to be a woman to be emotional, and nor are all women emotional. I don't cry when I get sad or angry (unless some one died, or its a situation that actually matters). Actually, even then I rarely cry.

You should be less ashamed of your emotions, which can be trained, and more ashamed of your portrayal of women, because I'm so sick and tired of having to pretend to never be upset and never do anything that would make me appear to be at all like my stereotype. And I know you're only portraying the socially constructed gender roles, and this isn't a big deal to you and you probably didn't mean any harm, but just know that as someone who constantly has to monitor their emotions just so they aren't thrown into the stereotypical role their gender role: it hurts more than you'll ever really know.

Not that what you're saying is a big deal, and generally its not your fault. I know you didn't mean to offend me, and I hope you don't feel offended by me because that's not my intent. Just please, be aware that by perpetuating the small things you are aiding in enforcing a larger, more cruel stereotype. And it really hurts. It really, really, realllly hurts to be hit in the face by the stereotypes and implications of being a "woman."

So... just think about me next time, and how emotionless I am, and know that not only women and gays are emotional because clearly, you are too; and it's not by choice.

Thank you!

lisa_username · Accepted Answer

i Know exactly how you feel. I HATE CRYING. People think I'm weak and I'm not. I don't cry on purpose I actually try my hardest to stop them coming out. we do it because our bodies are trying to calm us down (releases endorphins to make us feel better) so on the inside its good but on the outside it destructive to our self image.

the only thing I have been able to do to curb it is quickly thinking about something else. (I guess changing the subject in my mind lol). it doesn't work that great but it works better than the suggestions I've read on other websites such as: swallowing or looking into light.

keep me posted if you figure out anything helpful..i want to get rid of this problem to.

SoCk3t_PoCk3tZ · Accepted Answer

It might depend on the environment you lived when growing up and how your family always treated you.

Maybe other experiences influenced it and you suppressed your feelings instead of dealing with them

Maybe it's got to do with how your body works - hormones and all.

not all guys are tough.

Guys cry. - nothing wrong with that, you silly human.

And anyways, you're still growing and developing.

You might change as life goes on.

If not, well, that's just life and you're gonna have to accept that as part of who you are.

themastaplan · Accepted Answer

youre changing, growing, becoming mature...just because you're 17 doesn't mean you're over puberty yet...you go through a lot of emotions during the transition of being a boy to a man...

i wouldn't think anything of it really, you're just more in touch with your emotions than other guys may be...you seem to tear up when something happens to you or someone close to you, when you can't figure out why something is happening (aruging with parents)...talking about your problems, its just your emotions coming out...my suggestion would be to talk to a close girl friend...girls seem to understand better than guys, especially when it comes to crying...although youd be surprised how many guys do understand. Girls will just help you feel more comfortable about it, Guys have to be macho and big and tough...but not all the time.

I would suggest just getting a cool girl to talk to, one that can help you get all these emotions out...one day you'll learn how to control it, some things may be easier to understand later in life than they are now...dont be ashamed of it, this is a part of you...if you feel teh urge to cry then leave teh room or area you're in if its public...go to the bathroom and chill out for a min...

just because you're a deeper connection with your emotions doesn't mean your gay or gender confused or any of that crap...i would recommend trying to control it, there are people out there who will sh*t on you because of this...karam will get back to them, just don't stray away from who you really are...

hope this helps

MattyIce17 · Accepted Answer

What's up man. I'm a 16 year old guy and I'm in the same situation. My whole life I've been like that I just find myself crying easily. What I've learned is that it is good and bad. This directly relates to how passionate I am and compassionate as well. I have a big heart and I really care for other people. I can get really emotional too.
I've learned that it is a direct correlation to the stress in your life. figure out why exactly it is that you're stressed and keeping going deeper. Figure out what is at the core of your being. Figure out why you maybe want to do well in school. And just know that it is alright and it will work out. I know you will still get overwhelmed but to be able to understand this shit is really helpful. Crying is okay and shows caring and compassion and that is an incredible gift that not many guys have.. but I'm trying to learn how to let it out in others. Do NOT bottle up your feelings that's the worst you can do. Embrace your compassion and redirect it in a positive manner. Hahah hell man I want to be in the marines and I'm like this. But I have already started to improve and it will get better

emmabee11 · Answer

Stop trying act like stereotypical men, it's clear that your just a sensitive guy :) it's great that you can let out what your feeling, your not a sissy for having feelings, don't let anyone make you feel that way, guys who try to act all manly lets just say it's like talking to a brick wall most of the time, they just make things far more complicated by not letting us really know how they feel but were not psychic and can't read their minds. So be who you are and don't be who what other people want to see.

Anonymous · Answer

My boyfriend is 20 and cries easily, too. He's a "normal" guy in every way, he just gets overwhelmed by emotion sometimes. I think it's kind of endearing/cute :P I wouldn't want him to never cry. Anyway, about you. Crying in public is always embarrassing (even to girls), but it's not necessary to be ashamed or call yourself a sissy! Who says guys shouldn't cry? Society? Because it's not "masculine"? I don't know, gender roles seem really dumb to me. I know this doesn't help you much, but I really think this is about self-acceptance, not getting rid of this "flaw" you think you have. It's just your personality. Some people are going to judge you, but it's the kind of people who just seek out things wrong with others. It's THEIR problem, you shouldn't change yourself to fit their mold of a "normal guy."

Levin · Answer

You're a yank. Yanks cry. When ever I watch TV of some American tragedy, without fail the men will cry. It used to be different here, but as we're becoming increasingly Americanised and 'in touch with our emotions' more men here seem to cry. For shame, so much for the stiff upper lip.

Zebrah · Answer

Crying means you are human, not gay, not a girl. The strongest male figures in my life have cried, and with others around. I have respect for those who are able to show that emotion, as it's venerability. With vulnerability comes strength. I hope someday you can see this.

EverythingReal · Answer

Hah, I'm the same way. Except its weird, because I am not an emotional person, I'm a very passive indifferent type of person. Yet, I cry for what seems like no reason. I feel the same way. I try to distract my thoughts away from the fact of tears running down my cheeks. Hairy man ass, slaughtered puppies, or thinking the color of everything I see in my line of vision.

raptor · Answer

It sounds like depression. I know you say that you are not depressed, but it's not always possible for a person to see it in themselves before other. Anxiety could also be playing a part in this. I would recommend seeing someone (such as a psychologist or psychiatrist) who has been trained to deal with such things. It will likely help in the long run.

MikeK · Answer

You're a man. An emotional man. It means you've got a good head on your shoulders.

It's kind of funny, when I was in my teens I NEVER cried (even in private). But in my mid 20's, I've become a guyser of tears. It's not uncommon for me to cry myself to sleep (cheap vodka does not help).

Like the Sinatra song said, it was a very good year for me when I was 17. So enjoy the teen years because I regret to say it but it only gets worse...

Anonymous · Answer

Im a 21 year old straight male and i feel EXACTLY like you do, everything you said if how i feel and think. And it pisses me off that i cry a lot for little things or big things. My friends come me saying im a little bitch for crying so much and at times they laugh, or say "oh look, kevins crying again. Nice". I hate it. Makes me feel weak, and there was one girl i dated, she saw me cry and she laughed her ass off and immediately told her friends and made fun of me for it. I've always been like that. Very into my emotions.

Anonymous · Answer

funny this happened to me when I was in my teens, it would happen whenever I was the center of attention and everone was looking at me and whenever I got embarrassed too which seemed backwards because it would make me feel more embarrassed.

it was like trying to stop tears when you weren't even actually crying just really angry or frustrated. now that I'm 20 its gotten better so dnt worry your, were normal lol

CrystalMinds · Answer

I have that too, I'm a girl, but that doesn't make it "easier" to cry at like...everything. Lol. Anyway, my sister told me that it's because that's the only way I can vent my feelings. Maybe you should think about that?

Diablos · Answer

I haven't cried since I was 13. I'm 22 now. I don't even remember what it feels like to cry. consider yourself lucky that you werent brainwashed into killing some of your emotions to save face.

gummybear888 · Answer

it's just the way everyone is brought up differently or it's their own personality. you can't change it if that's who you are and there's nothing wrong with being confident about your emotions.

snowboarder720 · Answer

i can relate to your issue.  Get into a hobby or activity that helps release your stress.  Listen to "chill" music.  great example:  Bob Marley "three little birds"

DacryAdrianna · Answer

Honestly, I think it's super attractive when a guy cries, so I wouldn't mind if guys displayed more emotion. To be honest, I'm looking for someone like you.

Anonymous · Answer

maybe you have a lot of internal issues that are affecting you that you haven't let out and that's why you cry easily. is that true? are there things bothering you that you push down and don't deal with? that happens to me sometimes too

kimsparrow · Answer

you don't have to feel like a sissy. you're just a passionate guy and someone who's serious about things... in a good way of course.

ThatBritishLad · Answer

I'm not much of a crying bloke, runs in the veins of my fathers side of the family :P

The only thing I've actually cried to recently (Not my childhood!) is the death of Wolfwood in Trigun. That always gets to me for some reason :(

minx101 · Answer

You are 17 and your hormones are raging and causing this.  It will go away. Don't worry about it.

sikoo31 · Answer

i can only say what others have before me; you're just emotional, nothing wrong with that.

jjhee7637 · Answer

Well it shows you an emotional guy some girls like that it shows you care about things you are not a sissy girl and don't ever be ashamed of your self you are who you are and one day a girl will love you for it.

Why do I cry so easily? I'm a guy by the way.

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