He stares at me but ignores me, do you guys ever behave like that?

[Anonymous]

There`s this guy from my work-he completely ignores me if we meet in the corridor (never says hi, most often doesn‘t even look at me when he passes me by. Or sometimes he stares at me while passing me by without saying a word) yet when the circumstances make him work with me together he`s always very nice (very gentle, smiling, always very polite). This confuses me a lot.

Do you guys ever behave like that with girls and why?

Updates

+1 y

Btw, I intend following your advice.

[Anonymous]

He likes you. He's just shy. There is a guy I like at work. Some days he speaks to me & some days he doesn't. It is the same for me. We have had some nice conversations. I make sure no one is around when I go to his office & I go under the premise of work but I actually just want to go talk to him & don't want anyone knowing because it is work. I don't have a lot of experience because I have only been with two guys in my life. I am so scared to approach him so I am serious most of the time. I just wish he would just ask me out already. at least I wish he would ask me for my number. I ignore him because I am trying my hardest not to be that girl but he had me at Hello. This is a guy that scares me because I am scared how hard I will fall but He is so smart and so kind and so funny and so down to earth. He is everything I have ever wanted in a guy. I miss him when he is not at work. His smile makes my heart beat 100 miles an hour. I am scared he doesn't feel the same way because he hasn't said anything concrete so that's why I barely say anything in passing but the moment he opens his mouth and those ocean deep blue eyes look into me I just can't help but jump out of my skin in excitement. His voice is so soulful to me when l hear it it soothes me. I should probably not feel this way about him already but I can tell this guy is a very special soul.

[Mesonfielde]

I can see two possibilities that are pretty much the opposites of each other but...

1. He communicates with others only when necessary merely because that's his personality, or

2. He communicates with you only when the opportunity is externally forced because he doesn't know you'd take it positively if he showed attention even under informal circumstances.

...If it bothers you so much that he stares and doesn't say hi... then you should.

Grab your icepicks! It's time to break some ice...

[Asker]

thank you

[Mesonfielde]

You shouldn't assume he is "rude" just because he doesn't say "hi".

Merely because you don't say "hi" to him either.

It's a vicious cycle - he doesn't say hi because you don't, and you don't say hi because he doesn't.

As I said above... if it bothers you that he doesn't say hi, and you want him to.. then YOU should say hi.

[jenn33]

I agree here.

[christian2724]

I do that. Maybe he's an introvert or he's shy. It's just an instinctual thing. If there's an attractive girl I don't want to badger her. I assume she's getting a lot of attention and just wanna give her some space incase she wants it. It's nice to not be like every other guy. But if he's warm and nice around you in private... he could like you too. Or he's just polite.

It could be a million different things.

Why? Are you interested in him?

[Asker]

I`m not sure-he never talks so I don`t know him. He`s very handsome though. Plus I`m intrigued by his behaviour- several of my other colleagues mentioned he never says hi to them either. So I just thought he`s rude. And then during one of our briefings at work I caught him staring at me at dropping his gaze as soon as I looked at him- it happened several times during that briefing. And later I had my first real conversation with him and he was very nice. And he was really nice every other time.

[Asker]

So now I don't get it-if he's so nice why he's being so rude to me and my colleagues all the time? If he's rude how then he could be so nice when he talked to me?

[christian2724]

I can assure you he's not rude. You're reading him wrong.

If he's an introvert he's just not big on social interaction. It doesn't mean he's not kind or doesn't like you. You've already established he is kind. I'm almost sure he likes you by the way you describe how he glances at you. I would do that. He's just too shy or has an inferiority complex so he won't approach you.

With this guy you'll need to take the lead. Extend a warm hand. And he'll open up the way you want him to.

[christian2724]

Just interact with him more and he'll get more comfortable and feel welcome around you. Say hello to him by name when you pass him. He'll start doing the same. Invite him to participate. You'll have to send a clear signal if you want him to ask you out or something.

I was that guy. Girls in the office I worked at got to know me that way. It's just some ice you have to break. You're missing out.

[Asker]

I hope you`re right about him. And I hope I`ll find courage in me to do something about it.

Thank you a lot for your answer!

[christian2724]

Tell me how it goes. Have fun flirting.

Using his name is important. At the very least he's attracted to you. Guys like this will probably be more attentive and loyal partners. But he probably isn't as experienced. You can imagine if he has such a hard time approaching a girl. I'd be surprised if he treated you like crap or cheated on you.

[MachineMan]

maybe he likes you but can't show it because you are a co-worker and it wouldn't be appropriate,or he is already seeing someone.

[Asker]

thank you

[jenn33]

he's shy. and no, it doesn't mean he likes you.

[Asker]

Thank you for your answer. I agree with you that he may not like me (though I prefer he did). I was wondering what might make a guy behave like that. I find it weird that he can be too shy to even say hi to me even though we`ve had a nice conversation a couple of days ago. So I thought perhaps there can be more reasons.

[irykiryk]

Inferiority complex.

[Asker]

thank you

[irykiryk]

You can say that again.

[Asker]

Thank you again :) By the way, is this just your guess or is it based on your experience with people who have inferiority complex?

[irykiryk]

im projecting