Why are girls attracted to assholes?

It seems like all the guys who are the stereotypical jackass, self centered, doouchebags get all the girls. It just blows my mind when I see couples, where I know the guy is probably a totally ass to her. There are plenty of nice guys out there. Why do girls always want to take the badass over the nice guy?


Most Helpful Girl

  • its not between nice and asshole guys really. Because I can tell you that my ex boyfriend was a 'nice' guy and turned out to be as just as much of an arse as the guys he thought were assholes. And why? because when he started to get more attention, and realise the 'potential' other girls out there he could get, he got on an ego trip.

    I and most girls, want a guy that knows he likes her and not any other girl. No matter how much girls throw themselves at him!. Its not whether he is a 'nice' guy or not. It's hard to tell if a guy is worth it, no matter what type of guy he is.

    With asshole guys its easy to tell, but asshole guys can act nice too, and nice guys can act like assholes.

    Eventually you'll find the right girl for you, and she'll like you for who you are, and it will be because she likes you for you AND the fact your nice. .Like a few people said. it takes a while to find the right guy, and generally the asshole guys are the more confident ones that actually approach the girl, so of course she does end up with a lot of assholes at first. (it is probably more obvious to the more sincere guys than the girl, because yes we do tend to fall easily once we've been won over). These guys do make it hard for ALL guys because we lose trust for all guys and not just the bad ones.

    We learn to realise to keep away from the bad ones, but its hard to tell which are the sincere ones since all bad ones can act sincere. In the end the truly nice guy will end up with the upper hand anyway, they may have to work harder for the trust of the girl. But you will get all the worthwhile girls, if you truly are a nice guy and really like her.

    • Also I thought I would add that I have the problem of finding nice guys!.... I don't let myself go for the 'asshole' guys, so I've only ever had one serious bf, and I have to be patient. But eventually I'll find that right 'nice' guy, and I'm happy to wait, but it sux that I have to put up with all the assholes in between. I hate having to constantly try and work out if a guy is worth it, and liking someone only to realise he's just another 'asshole'. Maybe it is all about finding the 'right one'

    • I agree I've had 2 find out the hard way an sometimes that just messis it up for the good guys

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What Girls Said 20

  • I think it's the confidence that these guys show. It's unfortunate, but there are smart beautiful girls that don't date that type of guy. Also, usually the nice guy is not aggresive, take control type of guy. Women are attracted to guys who make them feel safe and are not still trying to figure it out. Unfortunately, nice guys are also logical and not very spontaneous.

    You will find the type of woman that matches you.just keep looking, we are not all idiots looking for bad-asses. There are some of us that like confident nice guys. For reference try 'Beauty and the Geek.' The women still chose the geeks that were jerks over the geeks that were nice. It's the confidence.

    • I'm afraid this seems to mean that putting on a "swag" is more important than being a decent, caring human being!

  • usually assholes are really confident.

    not cocky, but confident.

    they are so sure of themselves, and everything they can do, it attracts girls.

    now, I'm not saying every confident person is a jackass, but that's what girls are attracted to.


    be sure of yourself, tell yourself in your head that you're hot, that you just as good as anyone else out there, and bingo: girls will surely fall for you in time. :)

  • i think most women takes time 2 figure out the real personality of their bfs but since they'r sensitive beings they get attached and fall in love very easly .so by the time she figuires out that he's an ass as you said it's 2 late 4 her cz she already had fallen 4 him

    but that doesn't mean that all women does that.some break up as soon as she gets that bad vibe of him

  • I'm not! AT ALL!

    Never have been attracted to someone like that and never will.

    I've always liked really really shy guys, perhaps because they're the same as me.

    • You sound like someone who would choose love carefully and wisely instead of "falling" into it like a foolish, childish fake adult. You must be a REAL adult! Unlike many others, YOU do not make a mockery of good men who choose to be kind and care about others.

  • well I think its because all girls are attracted to those kinda guys because they are very confident with who they are.and girls like to chase after guys sometimes.they don't just want to have a guy be right there and be the sweetest person ever. she wants a challenge. someone that she can try and change into a total sweetheart. or sometimes, the nice guys can acutally be very nice to their girlfriends.just it might not show as much when they are in public.

    i hope I was at least a little bit helpful! :]

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What Guys Said 16

  • girls love to wonder. they like knowing they have a guy who can have any girl, but the one they choose to be with is them. If a guy makes the girl the center of the universe, they get bored. I use to ignore attention from other girls because I respected my ex. You would think that she would have appreciated that, but she didn't. Because I showed no interest in other women she began to think I wasnt that great of a guy. She was more attracted to the guy who flirted with all the girls. why? because he gave them ALL attention. Well he must be the perfect guy then. right? wrong. because once she has him she tries to change him. she tries to get him to stop flirting with all the other girls. If he does stop flirting and only focuses on her she will get bored and the process will begin again.

    So what's the secret. if you want to know send me a private message.

  • Tell me about it. I totally know what you are talking about bro I wonder the same thing all the time.

  • Yea I have to agree with the backbone thing because think about it. Would you want to be with a girl who did everything you said and agreed with you on everything? No of course not. Most guys want a girl that is smart,opinionated,funny,pretty, and independent well at least I do. I'm pretty sure I have been called an asshole more than any1. Hell sometimes at work instead of writing my name on the schedule it says asshole.lol I've never been called self centered but I get called conceited all the time o well.Thats just me sarcastic arrogant asshole but I can't think of an1 that I have actually met that actually didn't like me. And its not like I walk around making fun of people for something like not being popular.

  • Girls are attracted to confidence.

    to be overly general:

    Nice+confidence=attractive, probably secured in a relationship (not many available)

    Asshole+confidence=attractive (many available, since they can't keep a relationship)

    Nice+shy=complaining about assholes with confidence & not getting the girls

    Asshole+shy=cutting himself in his basement

    These categories are more of a gradient, but I hope you get the idea.

    You are conflating assholes with confidence. Just continue being nice, and aim for more confidence. Don't worry about the asshole guys in relationships, because it won't last, and/or they won't be happy for long, and if a woman isn't smart enough to appreciate niceness, you probably don't want her either. Good luck!

  • I used to be a nice guy who wondered why stereotypical jackass, self centered, doouchebags got all the girls

    Now I know the truth:

    Many of the guys I thought were stereotypical jackass, self centered, doouchebags were not jackasses, self-centered or douchebags. Girls usually don't like outright jerks. But girls do like guys with backbone who know what they want in life.

    Trouble is, nice guys are too busy being nice. "Nice" can mean "passive, insecure and shy." Nice guys like that put their own needs and desires on the back burner. Self-centered jackasses put their desires front and center, and girls respond to that kind of drive in life. Passive and shy guys tend to think that only a jerk would put their needs first. Wrong. Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover.

    Being a nice guy with a backbone and a sense of humor will get you girls just as quick as being a jerk will.

    • This is speculations, but if you looked at it from an evolutionary standpoint, You want the guy that is going to be able to protect you. If a guys is a confident ass**** he may have more ability to make a decision in a dangerous situation.

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