How can I put a stop to all this drama girls create over my body? It hurts me! : (

[redheadbabygirl]

This is gonna sound like I’m some horrible insecure middle school girl, but please read and help by answering if you can. Sorry for the long post.

I’m a 34D (no, it’s not as huge as it sounds!) and I’m 16 and a dancer. Yes, it runs on both sides of my family, and no, there’s nothing I can do about it. I wouldn’t if I could, because like being that size. If these girls would only shut up I’d be fine!

At my dance school, ALL the other girls are an A except me—and maybe a couple fat ones who are like B’s! But because I have a small ribcage and am NOT fat, I can wear smaller sizes than the fat girls (contrary to popular opinion…ugh) and they always give me ENORMOUS costumes that I have to alter at home before I can bear to be seen in them…seriously, who likes dancing in a tent?! Besides, I’m not a fan of the audience being able to see everything up my dress when I lift my leg over my head—as is often part of our routines—and so for practical purposes, it doesn’t work well either.

And it gets really really embarrassing when they are measuring for costumes! I measure 37-27-37 which is supposed to be good, healthy, and attractive, but all the other girls are laughing at me or acting all smug like I’m the poor fat child…some go even so far to say “well all the guys I know say there’s a such thing as TOO big…” with a glace at my chest. : (

I HATE how people confuse actually having breasts with being fat. And there’s nothing worse than hearing—“hey Katie, do you need help zipping up your dress? Doesn’t look like it’s gonna make it” or “better get a bigger T-shirt; no way is that going to fit you!” or when it’s time to open the costume bin “I don’t think there’s anything in there that’s big enough for you. Well, I GUESS you can try that on, but don’t rip it!” UGHHHHHHHH I am soo tired of faking a smile when I want to scream! Why are they so insensitive to my feelings?

I know this sounds terribly immature and I should “love how I am,” and I try really hard not to let this get to me, but it bothers me; I can’t pretend it doesn’t. When people DON’T make fun of me, I’m perfectly happy with myself, but it’s difficult when it’s a constant thing. Any tips with how I can get these negative comments from these girls to stop without being nasty myself?

Part two of my question: Other thing I find especially frustrating is that everybody (guys and girls) seems to think that just because I have big boobs, I’m promiscuous. Which is NOT true; I’m a virgin. Why why why? I just hope no one listens to the rumors they’ve started. I don’t get it—I’m a nice girl, I get along with everybody… these are the girls who I help with their homework, cheer them up when they’re down, get together with guys they like, and everything!

Please answer both my questions if you can! Any advice or ideas are welcome.

[flowerinicecrest]

Wow, I have the same body type as you(Having 34Ds are such a pain) and I am also a virgin, I haven't even had my first kiss! Although I am a lot different.

First ignore the girls, its obvious they are envious of you. Don't let them make you insecure, actually I don't even hang out too much with females because they love to cause drama. Overall I say don't pay them too much attention, they wanna put you in a fat suit, let them, I mean if you just do it, and show no reaction what so ever, they will give up.

Now boys like girls with big boobs. And since you are like me, big boobs with a small figure, you are even more attractive. Thus everyone, with their narrow minds quickly get the impression you are a very promiscious. This is a result of celebs such as Pamela Anderson and Anne Nicole Smith being porn stars. I mean I hang out mostly with guys and they swear I am going to be a stripper or in the sex industry when I get older. Once again, I say ignore it. Set boundaries. If people are spreading rumors that you are easy, then just sarcastically shrug it off. You know its not true, so don't let people's views get to you. Believe me I have a similar figure, I wear heels and look professional. I always hear boys saying "she so sexy." and boys looking at me with their mouths all open and what not. I don't give them a time of day, I may befriend a few to have fun with but that's all. Girls are always glaring and I don't even get upset about it.

Understand this: You are YOU. Don't let anyone make you feel insecure. You're beautiful, gorgeous, you got what guys want and girls desire. So you gotta keep your head high, little things like this is nothing to fret over. And don't care what people think about you, you are not gonna satisfy everyone. So be you, the nice girl who helps out and is a good friend. You don't need anyone's approval but your own.

[Justine]

They're just jealous of you.. I have the same problem, only I'm a 30F.. which of course, is even harder, I have to either make all my tops, or bring all of them in because I can't get them to fit. Honestly, do not worry about what they have to say, they're obviously stick think bitches that would love to have a great figure. I'm also a virgin, and well, most girls I know with big boobs are more conservative than those that don't! :) Maybe you could draw a lot of attention to your waist, this helps for me, as it does show people, I'm not fat, I do just have big boobs. Also, if they are extremely rude or horrible again, make a comment about their flat chests, don't worry about it.. they obviously need a kick in the teeth!

Oh, and good luck with your dancing. :)

[Reeses-pieces777]

well, it's fine that you love yourself and just ignore those who are trying to push you to get angry. I am I guess I 'm average, like thin and tall and I'm not a dancer, I'm as clumsy as hell but I do play some sports.

just love yourself and ignore those who are out there for their own agendas and if they get out of hand, I'd totally tell someone of authority to tell them to shut up or I'll tell them they have too much time on their hands, they should be doing homework or something and mind their own freaking business

because I think they're just jealous of you and they might have a crush on a guy who likes you, idk, there are so many reasons, and I think girls are more hormonal around this age anyways and hormones sometimes over runs logic

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean by trying not to let it get to you day after day.

First off, I would stop helping these girls with their homework, cheering them up, and anything else you do for them. If they're going to use their insecurities to bring you down, then you shouldn't use your self-esteem to bring them up.

They're just jealous that they don't stand out as much as you do. They're doing this so you feel as bad as they do. Don't give into that.

Honestly, I don't really have a solution to help you right now. I just wanted to tell you to keep your head up (and trust me, I know how hard that is right now).

[redheadbabygirl]

Thanks a lot. I feel a little better!

You're right, I probably should stop helping them with their homework etc. I don't do it to somehow persuade them to be nice to me, I just do it because it's my way and I enjoy helping other people. But I guess it's not healthy... :S

[Opinion Owner]

I completely understand. I've (kinda) been in your shoes before. You do what's right because it's right, not because of attention or recognition.

Maybe they should use as much energy to study as they do spending time insulting you. It may help...

[good-looking-geek]

I had some friends in my high school dance team (or drill team). And the girls I knew said that all of the girls on the drill team are bitches to each other. Maybe we have discovered that dancing attracts all of the bitches in each high school. Anyway those girls are just jealous bitches. Unfortunately bitches don't respond well to others who are nice to them (perhaps you know that by now). I am pessimistic and I think that if you continue to be nice to them then they will not change. Sorry. You have to show them through emotions, facial expressions, and changing your tone of voice (perhaps without being rude) that how they speak to you is not cool.

I knew a girl also in my high school (years ago obviously) who had breasts that were larger than yours. The guys tormented her and called her big-tittie-becka to her face (her name is Rebecka). The young guys in your (and my) high school are simply immature and forget the fact that you are a human being not an object. Unfortunately a lot of guys will never realize this for their entire lives. And even the girl's minds are immature. Whenever a girl raises the subject just say "I don't do that."

[blue-kev]

These girls are jelous of you. Guys love the look your describing. We like a big chest and a girl who isn't realy big everywear else. Your not gona have trouble with guys once you show them your easy to talk to. These girls wish they had your chest. If you want to get them to shut up get a good looking guy to pose as your boyfriend infront of them. I think you could get a goodlooking guy for real so that shouldn't be a problem. If they see you with a good looking dude it will shut them up real quick. Also the permiscuous thing if you talk about non sexual topics but blatently not passively. Talk about sports talk about movies talk about the school assignment. This with people. By talking about down to earth stuff people won't associate you with sex they will think of you as the sports girl,the movie girl, or the smart girl. And as long as you don't get snoby which I can tell your not you will totaly attract guys by being the girl who is soooo easy sooo fun to talk to.

[redheadbabygirl]

I actually have a VERY good looking boyfriend - 6'6" and all muscle lol. whenever he's around they're nice to me, but the moment he's gone, they show their true colors :(

And I don't talk about sex AT ALL so that's why I don't get the promiscuous thing!

[Screenwriter]

Sweetie you're dealing with kids. Kids are mean. Anything that's different gets targeted and your breasts, which are larger than average on a small person are the bull's eye.

Start standing up for yourself and stop them in their tracks. "Why are you commenting on anybody's size? Is your body perfect?" AND bring this to the attention of the adults in charge.
NO ONE has the right to talk about someone else's body TO THEIR FACE! Where were they raised? In barns?

I bet lots of those girls are simply jealous and stupid. You might say that: "Sounds like you're jealous? And you're ALSO rude." I hate to advise you to be a tattletale, but this might be the only way to stop this. It's a teachable moment for the adults to use with these children.

Let's talk about people's bodies and who has the right to comment on them to that person. Does anyone think it might hurt someone's feelings to hear their Butt, their breasts, their body is "too big, too large," or something else about it is not acceptable to the person making the comment? ...

Bring this up outright with your teachers/ dance instructors. This has got to stop and they need to leanr not to be rude and mean spirited right now. Good luck.

[Newport100]

Saw your photos. You are not overly huge. You do have nice breast, you are pretty and you have long red hair.



Oh yea, your female associates are green with envy.

I have a feeling you are a little naive and also on the sensitive side. They are capitalizing on that and they know they are making you feel a little excluded from the group. At the same time boosting their own ego's.

Your looks isn't your problem, they are the ones with a problem and they make it your problem. Why don't you get yourself out of that situation and try another activity with a different set of people.

[Rebecca-1992-UK]

oh hun stand up for yourself seriously - next time these absolute cows have a go just tell them to piss off - seriously I'm not just saying this to make you feel better - THEY ARE JEALOUS . VERY. Guys love big boobs and they have stumps for breast lol. I wouldn't worry bout it you've just developed faster than them. I'm a similar size so I know how you feel - just ignore them and if the comments start to get you down - just remember they are trying to make them as insecure as they are themselves. well I suggest that you ignore these girls and certainly DO NOT help them with their homework if they are spreading rumours. I wouldn't pay much attention to the crap being spread tbh - everyone gets rumours spread around about them sometime - it's just lief, ignor it and get ovewr it - if you don't react to it all theyll die down in a matter of weeks and things will be back to normal :) hope that helped. xx

[coolguy93939]

their just hating on you

next time just asking them

why they hatin on you.

guys don't like A boobs (most guys) and they know it

so they are just trying to make you

feel bad to make them feel good about

themselves

so just be like

"BRO STOP HATING CAUSE YOU CANT HAVE THIS"

then to hide their true feelings theyll probably

try to make fun of you

so just keep insisting that their hating and

eventually theyll be like k she's on to us we are hating

[spartom]

Lol so just be like

"BRO STOP HATING CAUSE YOU CANT HAVE THIS"

genius

its actually very true

[redheadbabygirl]

Wait I can't call a girl "bro"? ROFL

[spartom]

My girlfriend has big boobs and isn't fat at all. I wonder what she thinks about this? Should I ask her and then tell you? Would that help? I'll just say a friend of mine asked and she will probably be fine with it! Just comment me back if you want me to ok.

[redheadbabygirl]

Thank you! I would appreciate that. Maybe she could help me out with dealing with these...umm...girls lol

tell me when you find out!

[spartom]

OK I'll ask probably on Monday. I'm working tmw and see her at college on monday. It's not the kind of thing to ask through a text.

btw have you had any boyfriends and if so what did they think about it? When making out did they ever feel them and because of this did you like it less?

[Daniel92]

Part one: I think you should stick to the fact that you love who you are. This girls are insecure and make fun of you to try and get attention or ' look cool'. Be the better person and hold your head high, these girls are obviously jealous to your breast size. And will probably get boob jobs when they get older and richer.

Part two: Same thing basically. Bigger breasts makes you seem ' sexually attractive ', this is why they think that. They are also immature perverts, and need to learn manners. Stay true to who you are, ignore the rumors, because you know the truth, and they are just trying to bring you down.

[spartom]

OK I asked my girlfriend for you and:

sounds like the others are jealous tbh, she needs to tlk to them all and explain how they are making her feel, and they sound like they are taking advantage of her nicer side when they need help and are giving nothing back. if its getting to her that much maybe she should try changing dancing schools or ask to be moved to a diff group maybe where she could make new friends who wnt be so bitchy and backstabbing

[star108]

They are soo JEALOUS of you! I went through the same thing when I was in high school and they made me feel like something was wrong with me. But they are really just jealous that they their not as pretty as you. They know you can have any guy you want to and that even gets them more mad.you just gotta keep saying to yourself screw them they are jealous and I am perfect the way I am :)

[ALWAYSclassy]

They are just jealous. Most girls especially ones with flat chests wish they had bigger boobs. If that was the case, padded bras and breast implants wouldn't be so popular. When girls hate on you, that's when you know you're the shit. Stop helping them out with homework and cheering them up, they don't deserve a friend like you. They're bitches and you look better than them.

[brightlywound12]

honey, they're jealous. girls are mean to other girls that threaten them. be proud of your curves! when they make negative comments about you, roll your eyes or do something that will make them feel immature, because that's what they're being.

you are BEAUTIFUL exactly how you are!

[Alexdre227]

Hi read what you wrote.. I think you're a kind person with a good heart.. And those girls or guys are definitely not people who should bother your mind.. We cannot put a stop on their mouth for they will speak what they like.. But we can be strong and shall not bother ourselves whatever the world says.. Your body is good, attractive, and i cannot see any pic of you but telling based on your measures you wrote.. You're awesome fine.. Dont worry at all no matter what people say. If you're a kind person, you'll be liked by people who deserve you.. I think those girls are just envy of you cause they cannot be you. Here's my instagram ( alexranger1111) if you ever feel sad or depress again about anything feel ok to message me there cause i dont open this page it's my first time here 😄

[looking4]

lol sometimes I get that kind of comments too (and I'm just a C cup, imagine my friends breasts lol) and I always answer things like "pure envy", "you wish you had a clevage as good as mine don't you?" or the simple "oh yes they are great and I love them" lol and if its a very close friend joking about it its cool lol.

[Littletad]

Your incredibly attractive, why are you worried about what others think or say, or even remark? They only look like fools themselves.

[Anonymous]

It's a dog eat dog world out there..

Anyway, I know you deactivated your account, but thought I would answer anyway