Why did guys tend to like me more when I was MUCH "uglier"?

[Anonymous]

before you guys go jumping down my throat I'm NOT saying I'm pretty so don't think I am okay? I still find something wrong with me even though I have improved a LOT in my looks. Now here is my question. I use to be pretty big, huge thighs, arms, huge stomach, fat face. I've always been nice, outgoing, humorous, I'm told I should be a comedian and have even considered it, I've never been stuck up or conceited, always been a little down about my looks. well, I had ZERO problem landing a boyfriend. When I did they acted very serious about the relationship and I was even proposed to three times, but said no two times because it was too soon said yes to the third but I dumped him because he tried to kill me lol ANYWAYS, I would always be told how beautiful I am, told I'm sexy and thick (I don't think I was thick, I was fat...i was 5'1 and weighed 223 lbs, that's fat). Guys always asked for my number, etc. I never did my hair, it was frizzy and looked bad and was yellow, I had no skill at putting on makeup so I looked sloppy, wore clothing that looked VERY homely because I was bigger and there were no cute plus size stores around then. still, I was a guy magnet.

let's fast-forward to today. I weigh a LOT less (let's say I'm not fat anymore thank god) I have a nice body (I thought I did but I'm prob wrong), I now do my hair and it is a pretty blond with no trashy yellow in it (I'm a natural blonde), I wear nicer clothing that fits well and makes me look nice (or so I thought), I have mastered makeup and put it on lightly and it looks very natural most of the time (I thought it looks good but I guess not), I now do some modeling, I still have the same views on myself (still have no self esteem) and I still have the same nice fun personality. but, men don't want anything to do with me. it was so hard to even get a boyfriend. before I got a boyfriend guys would look at me but not come near me. if I was nice and outgoing and humorous lie I used to be guys would say I'm a "show -off" or "fake" instead of hilarious and sweet like they use to think. I have a boyfriend now but it seems like it is going no where, I tell him I want to marry him and he keeps making excuses . I feel like I did something wrong. maybe I truly am just an ugly person? why would guys tend to like me more when I was fat and gross , than now? I am still the same sweet girl who always second guesses herself...but men don't see it. what did I do wrong? why did men want the ugly me, and not the new me?

[Joey_Wheeler]

This will be my masterpiece rant.

Young lady, as the saying goes, 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.' Additionally, "beauty is only skin deep." That means that it doesn't matter what you look like. People will be attracted or not attracted at their preference. You can try to confirm to the norm, doing what everyone else does, or you can be your own person and trust that people are smart enough to look past the surface.

--THIS PARAGRAPH WILL NOT REFLECT MY PERSONAL VIEWS-- As for the weight loss, sadly, that is a stupid pervert joke that fat girls put out. The supposed stereotype is that fat girls are so greatful to get some kind of attention that they'll be willing to do any nasty thing you can imagine... afterall, if they had any self-respect, they wouldn't be disgusting fat cows.

I think you really need to do a self-assessment. You seem like a bright girl. You know you had some problems, and you decided to do something about it. Are you were you want to be yet? Don't worry about what other people think of you. As long as you're happy with who you are, where you're going, and how you're getting there, everyone else can keep their nose out of your business.

Personally, I prefer a pretty girl to a beautiful one. A pretty girl has a natural asthetic, a positive attitude, and doesn't focus on the ignorant small stuff. A beautiful girl has to work at it, locking herself away to scrutinize every tiny detail, spending hours correcting the most miniscule of imperfections. Beautiful girls work too hard.

[diabloknk]

Maybe you were surrounded by chubby chasers before, and now that you're not fat, you've lost their interest.

Or, you're legitimately hot now, which is a real possibility. A lot of girls would be hot it they just lost like 20-60 pounds. Really hot girls intimidate most dudes, and only really get picked up by jerks, since they're the only ones really confident enough to even talk to the girl. It's possible that you're just surrounded by guys too nervous to actually talk to you.

[BrookeleShort]

Yeah guys get intimidated by pretty girls, I'm also very outgoing and it takes a really outgoing crazy guy to approach a girl that is like you because guys are easily scared unless they have a few drinks in them lol, but you shouldn't be so negative! Being negative will make you feel worse and things will seem to get worse, but there's nothing wrong with you I know it sounds weird but usually when you're searching for someone it never works but if you focus on other things in life and go with the flow someone should come=) Don't put yourself down, there's much more important things in life than self image, you like the way you dress and wear make-up then that's good, keep being sweet and bubbly, someone special should come along, if you're boyfriend isn't willing to go farther in life with you like you want then he's not fitting into the picture and should probably be out of your life, but I don't know the details or anything so maybe not, and those guys saying your fake or show off don't know what they're talking about just ignore them and be you.

[Asailum]

When your hotter your actually more isolated because guys are going to get more nervous around you and start sucking up/being fake and other girls are going to feel threatened by you.

[cyrus7]

u probably intimidate guys now

id be much more likely to approach a more average and maybe below girl than I would a pretty girl