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I told his wife about us, will he forgive me?

Ok... Not everyone is going to like what I'm about to type and I don't expect everyone to understand. I have strong morals and values and I NEVER... Show More

Just an update...

We've sorted out our issues and we're friends. He says I don't need forgiveness because he truly isn't angry or hurt. Apparently what I did, merely irritated him!? I never have dated someone who was standard issue. Then again, he knows I had reasons to do it too.

I will never hurt him again!

Being without him in my life was so painful.

Thanks again for your input at my time of distress!

Most Helpful Opinion

  • If I were him... you'd be finished. You really put him in a world of hurt now. He married his wife for a reason, despite whatever he's told you. And she is the mother of his kids. I'm guessing if he can salvage things with her he will. If not... why go for you considering what you've done? If he ends up getting a divorce he'll find some fresh new girl instead of picking the one who ruined his marriage and probably destroyed his relationship with is kids. You were just a fun escape. A mistress. You werent supposed to get attached.

    If I were him... that's what my reaction would be. No forgiveness for you.

    • Thank you for your response!

      Would you ever speak to me again? Would you speak to me now? How can I show him I'm really sorry?

      We did start out as a fun escape, but he persued it and wanted me to get attached. He was attached. It's not like he didn't hurt me either - he knows I have my reasons.

      Kids are young and she won't keep them away from him.

      He shouldn't have lied and said he didn't want to marry her, all the while making me believe he wanted me. No?

    • He is plenty wrong of course.

      Depends on how bad the fallout was. If it was bad...I wouldn't speak to you again. No sexual favor or any other display would makeup for what I imagine he's dealing with now.

      Find a single man. There are plenty. You never should have messed with a married guy. Better to take responsibility yourself than to put it off all on him. Learn a lesson from this.

    • I take responsability. The remorse and guilt I felt are part of what led me to tell her. Living a lie is exhausting and self destructing.

      Believe it or not - our relationship was not only about sex and I would never insult him by offering him that in the hopes of forgiveness.

      You're right, I suppose - nothing I do would make up for the pain I've caused him. But if the roles were reversed, I would forgive him. I need to forgive him now too for the pain he has caused me.

      Thanks again!

What Guys Said 2

What Girls Said 2

  • I am putting myself in the wife's shoes... What you did was the right thing. Yes you made a conscious decision to get involved with a man that was involved, but he took it way over the line when he decided to marry and not break off the relationship with you, instead he wanted to continue having his bread buttered both sides... You were both in the wrong and the only person that you have to ask forgiveness from is his wife. Both of you made decisions that affected her without her input. You may feel that you had broke his trust, but he broke that woman's trust. No matter how horrible she may be, there is not excuse that either of you put yourself in a relationship where everyone is a loser. Think of it, where are you now. His still married, you alone. He feels good because you.. the person who he decided to discard when deciding to go through with the marriage, asked him for forgiveness.. Do not feel like the bad person here, it may have been selfish, but if I was that woman, I would eventually come to realise that what you had done was right

  • Thats not for you to do, and go tell his wife about. You should have stayed out of his business and let him do it himself, that's so selfish. If I were him, Id never want to see you again. enough said.

    • You're right. I had no business there. Thank you!

    • Np, I really hope it works out for you.

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