Ok... Not everyone is going to like what I'm about to type and I don't expect everyone to understand.
I have strong morals and values and I NEVER saw myself getting into this situation, but here I am.
10 months ago I moved to a new office and met a man who at the time intrigued me. We hit it off and became really good friends. I knew things were headed somewhere (people know these things) and when the "proposal" of fun arrived, I declined. Why - he had a girlfriend and 2 young children with her. Eventually though, I became weak and got involved. I thought it would be some fun and then we'd end it. But, when I started having stronger feelings for him and tried to end it, he wouldn't let me go. He fought for me. I warned him that I would get to a place of not wanting to share him and the more time we spent together, the more I fell in love with him. We work together, travel together, hang out together and he would spend up to 5 nights of the week with me. It got to a point where we sat down and discussed things and he said he'd like to move in with me. Long and short - he got married to her because he said he didn't want to lose his kids. He has children with his ex wife who makes it nearly impossible to see them. As a last resort in my desperation, I sent his now wife an e-mail telling her the truth. At the time, I was convinced I was doing it for her, but in retrospect I realize now that I was hoping she wouldn't marry him.
He's not showing me anger and is saying that he understands why I did it, as he says I had my reasons. He's taking responsability for his behaviour. However, he's saying he needs time to deal with everything and he's not being warm to me. He has told me however, that he would not expect me to be with him if he chooses to stay married now and that everything we had was real.
I think his wife has not made a decision about what she wants to do about things.
As selfish as I am and as terrible as this is - I love another woman's husband. Truly. I can't stop weeping and my world has fallen out from under me. Will he be able to forgive me, when he finally gets angry and realizes how much I betrayed his trust?
If he does forgive me and he leaves her to be with me, what hope do we have of our relationship working, when there's so many trust issues?
I would really appreciate mens responses! Preferably men who've been in similar situations.
If you're a woman who's married and has been cheated on - I know these posts anger you, but please try to not leave hateful comments. I'm being perfectly sincere in leaving this post.
We've sorted out our issues and we're friends. He says I don't need forgiveness because he truly isn't angry or hurt. Apparently what I did, merely irritated him!? I never have dated someone who was standard issue. Then again, he knows I had reasons to do it too.
I will never hurt him again!
Being without him in my life was so painful.
Thanks again for your input at my time of distress!
Most Helpful Guy
If I were him... you'd be finished. You really put him in a world of hurt now. He married his wife for a reason, despite whatever he's told you. And she is the mother of his kids. I'm guessing if he can salvage things with her he will. If not... why go for you considering what you've done? If he ends up getting a divorce he'll find some fresh new girl instead of picking the one who ruined his marriage and probably destroyed his relationship with is kids. You were just a fun escape. A mistress. You werent supposed to get attached.
If I were him... that's what my reaction would be. No forgiveness for you.1