Why do guys lose interest in me?

Im not ugly and I'm not fat, guys in fact often take an interest in me and ask for my number but for some reason after making me think they like me they dissapear. so what is wrong with me? I'm not clingy, a slut or boring either so I know its not that. that's why I'm so confused and think they'res something wrong with me.

guys why do you do this? and why do you usually lose interest in a girl after seeming interested


Most Helpful Guy

  • Not knowing you, I couldn't even come up with an opinion that would do any good.

    However, it could be something to do with them.

    Me, I'm pretty shy. This may come across as a lack of interest (though I don't think so). I try to make sure I'm not seen as pestering anyone, so I tend to move slow to figure women out.

    There's a girl that I have "dated," we haven't talked in weeks (I say "dated" because we haven't officially discussed what we're doing, and I have a loose definition of what a "date" is). When we have talked, it's been weeks between the times we DO talk. To be honest, there are other women I feel a closer connection to, "romantically speaking"; this is why I don't try to invite this woman out more. She seems like a very cool woman. I do like hanging with her. But it seems like she lacks an interest in spending time with others. Acting excited to get to know them.

    At first, a friend told me she was interested, so I pursued it. I didn't pester, but I did show interest that was fairly genuine at the time; and it just fizzled before she gave me a chance.

    I'm not saying that you do this. I'm just giving you a reason as to why I don't continue to pursue when I know a woman is single and I feel an initial attraction.

    There are so many variables in the common ways we date, which is part of the frustration so many people have. I wish you luck, as that's what it often seems to boil down to.

    • How can we find a balance between seeming interested and providing enough of a chase so that HE stays interested?

    • so lets say a week later I text the guy I had a good convo with and he still seems interested, and he responds and seems happy to be talking to me but goes a week without texting me... what does that mean?

    • Cutie19911, I suppose that is the ultimate question. For me personally, I'd say to naturally "become" a person worth "chasing" - don't throw it out as a manipulative thing. Personally, I hate "chasing" in most versions, but it's been because I've had almost nothing but head games; past a certain point, I won't play because I don't see it as a fair game to play.

What Guys Said 17

  • My first thought is this..

    1. You have to many guys flirting with you at once

    Guys can take this as you not liking them and them not wanting to fight for your affection

    2. You have a guy friend that your a little to close to..

    3. You lose intrest if they don't call right away..

  • It sounds as though you may just have been a bit too laid-back about the whole thing, because it takes us guys a lot to show that we like you. So, when we've instigated flirting, stepped out of our comfort zone, asked for your number and put in the effort to not be an a$$hole around you, we often end-up wandering why we did it all because you've not really 'stepped it up'. It leaves us wandering a) If you really do like us, b) Whether there is any more to you that not everyone sees and c) How far are we going to have to go to really break through?

    I know you say you're not boring and I'm not saying that's the problem. I'm just saying that it requires something a little bit extra special to properly connect. Try pushing a little harder to be a bit more intimate/close/fun at certain moments (not to be mistaken for clingy-ness).

    Sorry if this is a little bit non-explicit but I think most people know how to make things a little more special when they really want to. x

    • thanks for the advice :)

  • Probably you weren't what they were expecting. You may be attractive to some, but some guys don't want a relationship and just want hook ups. I'm a relationship type guy, I think things to be meaningful, but its hard to find someone who really understands you and loves you.

    You just have to keep looking and not worry about yourself. You'll find a guy who accepts you for you and will find you their type.

    What is your personality type as well? Are you outgoing, quiet, laid back, or somethin? haha.

    but don't worry.

    • im outgoing and laid back ahaha

  • You're young - guys can be flaky in their jeunesse and there's not an awful lot to read into it. Just try and think of any similarities between those times before the guys stopped seeing you - it will show you the problem is unlikely to be anything you're doing wrong.

  • Don't worry, it's not you. Guys can be dumb sometimes. Your prince is on his way.

  • I lose interest if she talks about her ex. Hopefully you don't do this. I also lose interest if it feels like it's a stretch to find things in common. If I feel like we are very different people, I will distance myself.

    • nah I don't do talk about my ex at all

    • Show All
    • Well you're doing everything you should. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I mean there isn't much more you can do. I would watch what you say next date though. Not censor yourself, but to monitor what you have a tendency to talk about. I did this and notice I talk about my family a lot. I cut some of this chat out.

    • okay, thank you :)

  • Huh? Did you say tomething?

  • It could be that you show too much interest. What exactly are you doing and what are they doing to "make (you) think they like (you)"? I think you are leaving out a key component to the story. Please advise.

  • 1) You are too shy

    2) You play too many games

    3) You are too protective off yourself, because you have had bad experiences.

    4) You always expect guys do everything first

    5) You don't make an effort to make a conversation, or to get to know him.

    6) You show no interest.

    7) You move too quick. You already thinking about a relationship and feelings when you have only had like 2 dates.

    8) You are clingy

    9) You pressure him too much

    10) You are selfish and narcissist and you always only think about yourself.

    • none of those but thanks for answering anyway. fml

    • Show All
    • Why the thumbs down?

    • i didn't give you thumbs down, must've been others that answered

  • maybe your not what they had expected initially. they could have thought yud be easy, or something but don't worry abt them, as long as your none of the things you've mentioned yull find someone someday

  • 100% hands down, without a doubt feel that you have no met the right person. keep looking! I promise you will find a perfect man for you :)

  • MOST shots fired don't hit the mark, that's just life. People project attributes upon others that may or may not match reality. When the reality is too far off from the fantasy, interest wanes.

  • Need more details about you.

    and may be all those guys is not for you or they haven't ability to build up a good relation with u.

  • Perhaps you should relax more. Do you consider yourself an intense person? Do you phone 'em? Play a little 'hard to get'... be sexy, kinky... and never... ever! a slut.

    • anyone that knows me will tell you I am the most layed back person ever. its not like I play hard to get exactly, I text here and there, but not a lot to seem needy. but I also wait for the guy to initate the conversation too.

  • You don't have sex on the 1st date, that's perfectly OK. Let me ask you though, are you a good kisser? This is crucial for some guys, myself included. Y'know, when you kiss and get that mmmmYES connection, lol I get worked up just thinking about it. So are you...?

    Also like Lovelesspassion said, maybe you have a male friend that's too close to you? Any reason for guys to think they'll have to deal with competition?

    • lol yes I've been told I'm a good kisser so its not that... and it wouldn't have to do with a guy friend either because when I first meet guys its me and them, they don't really meet my friends unless its something serious

  • they want you to do it on the 1st date. you dont, obviously.

    • ohh okay so I guess I should just turn into a huge whore and have sex with them on the first date. thanks so much for the advice! not -___-

    • Show All
    • i don't go to clubs lolll I'm only 18. its usually in school or at parties that I meet them

    • parties are generally a bad place to meet people if you're looking for a relationship

What Girls Said 4

  • Keep waiting <3 Nothing with you, the right one just hasn't stepped foot in you world yet.

    • you're sweet. thank you so much :]

    • ;)

  • It sound to me,

    (and this is just a guess)

    that you're trying too hard.

    Not that you're doing anything wrong,

    you're just thinking about it too much.

    When you find someone worth pursuing,

    you will know exactly what to do to keep them around.

    hang in there hun : )

  • I don't know you enough to say I mean there are plenty of girls who are all of those things but they don't realize it or admit to it. Matter of fact most girls who are that way don't admit to it.

    If you're like me I'm kind of the girl who expects the guy to come to me to hang out or talk if he doesn't want anything to do with me then I feel no need to have anything to do with him. However; I'm in the same situation as you and I feel the best way is to be patient and enjoy your life. There will be plenty of guys to come around they just usually come around when you aren't looking. Enjoy the freedom of being single and just live life. Someone somday is going to fall in love with you.

  • This is a great question. The good news is that you attract guys. The bad news (obviously) is that you are doing or saying something that turns them off soon after you start something with them. Now that you recognized that there is a problem, it's your responsibility to figure out what it is.

    First, you say you are not clingy, slutty or boring. Great! But are these dudes asking you out on a date? What you do talk about with them on the date?

    • we talk about ourselves to get to know each other. its not like I talk non stop about me and go on and on and on. because I dont. I make sure to let him talk about himself and ask him questions. so like wtf am I doing wrong

    • Are you talking negatively about yourself? If no: does the conversation eventually get interesting, meaning that you two find something in common? If no: you just haven't met anyone you click with yet.

    • yes, usually we have a lot of things in common so the conversation flows well and isn't boring. so its really frustrating because I'm like 'oh this is going so well' and then out of nowhere they don't contact me again :(