First time user here...feeling really lost and would love some male perspective.
About 7 weeks ago my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me. It totally knocked me down...we had a good relationship, we loved each other a lot, and there was nothing bad enough that was worth breaking up over. His reasoning was that he felt he couldn't make me happy (I was very distraught and almost depressed over having been fired from my 4 1/2 year job a few weeks prior). I told him he did make me happy...but that losing my job had really been hard on me, and I apologized if I ever took those negative feelings out on our relationship.
For the next 6 weeks we spoke off and on, and he'd always say he missed me and wanted to get back together...but he'd never act on it, or he wouldn't contact me for a few days. If we scheduled a meeting so we could talk, he wouldn't follow through or claim that he was waiting for me to call him and confirm the plans (when we had previously agreed that HE would call ME).
Now, he was in a severe motorcycle accident many years ago that he is still recovering from; part of the brain damage he experienced has ruined his memory. I witnessed his bad memory numerous times when we were together. But I'm wondering if he truly is forgetting to call or forgetting our plans, or is he using that as a cover up?
What I'm really wondering is...if a guy SAYS he misses you and wants to work it out, why not DO IT? I finally got sick of it and didn't answer a phone call and a text he made to me, and I haven't heard from him again for the last week. Did he ever really care, or was he just stringing me along so he didn't look like a bad guy?
This is the guy who told me DAILY how amazingly different I was from any girl he'd ever been with, how I was the only one ever really there for him, how he loved me so much...were those all lies, or is he a lost soul, struggling to find himself after his life was completely changed after a tragic accident?
Most Helpful Guy
I am sorry to hear about your break up.. I am going through one myself and it just came out of no where and I am crushed. We loved each other at lot as well, and agreed we could work through anything, that is until she blindsided me over something very petty. I suffer from depression myself, and she took no time to try and understand it, or see how it affects me. I myself was in a very bad motor vehicle accident nearly ten years ago which has left me also with memory issues. So I do understand where he is coming from. It's good that you two had spoken on and off after you broke up, I haven't heard a single word from her since ours. She was set and ready to spend her life with me and packed up on me and just left. She never turned around to look.. I was dumped via text and completely irrationally. When a guy says he misses you and wants to get back together, he means it. We do fall and love hard. You do need to give him some pass over the calling issues, especially if he has a bad memory. Stress can make that so much worse, I know that it is in my case. A relationship is a two way thing. If you want to hear from him, you can call him too. I know with breakups there is always the ego thing. I have sent my ex two emails since we've broken up with no response. She is immature, childish, and left me over something totally petty. She will regret it and I know that. But for the mean time with your boyfriend, if you want to make it work you need to communicate.1