Why do I miss him when he's a jerk?

WeEZEeBoO
i recently just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months, we were close the first 2 months and I don't know what happened but everything went downhill after that. arguments everyday over things that aren't worth getting mad over, anyways he caused too much drama with me while we were together. but while we were together I was happy wen I would see him I liked being with him in person getting to hold his hand, hugging him, kissing him, things like that. Its just that when I think of all the happy things I miss something bad pops into my head, like when I stayed the weekend with him at his place I was soooo happy that I got to spend one whole weekend with him not having to worry about being back home at a certain time. when I think of that I think of how he acted when someone disrespected me when we went to the mall or to the store. he didn't stand up for me and tell the person to step off he just laughed at the comment that the person made. I got sooo angry I just walked away. things like that make me not want to go back to him but then the happy things make me do want to go back to him. I'm just not sure what to do right now. please help. if you need more info just ask.
Updates
+1 y
so I talked to him last week and well he seemd like he changed but he makin it seem like he dnt want me back even tho he said he did wtvr I'm starting to get over him
Why do I miss him when he's a jerk?
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