Did he give up on me?

Anonymous
So I have a small issue on my hands, its eating away at me and has been for months now. I met a guy a while ago, 8months or so. This may sound borderline crazy, but I had this instant attraction to him, serious attraction, when I caught sight of him my heart literally beat so hard, I thought it might explode. My hands would shake, palms would sweat and I would just freeze up.

He, of course gave me what I assumed to be clear signs of mutual attraction. The looks (that he didn't know I saw, lol), the subtle touches, always using my name whenever possible, teasing me, asking me all kinds of questions, always saying goodbye/hi, showing up where ever I was, etc.

Here's the problem, I literally froze around him, could hardly utter a word, couldn't look him in the eye, nothing. It was beyond frustrating for me but I just couldn't control my actions. Anything that came out of my mouth was muttered blah! Ugh. Aside from the occasional idiotic laugh.

I had never felt like that around anyone ever. I couldn't be my normal self, it just wouldn't come out. This carried on for about a month and a half, five days a week, eight hours a day. Then came the last day I saw him. No goodbye, no closure.

Fast forward, seven months later, and all I can think about how badly I screwed up. How my own insecurity took over and put a bullet in my potential to have a relationship with someone I genuinely cared for. I haven't had these kinds of feelings for someone in a very long time. (not since leo in the titanic, lol. kidding!)

Ive recently been told how and where to get ahold of him but, he hasn't contacted me this whole time either. I have this fear that by contacting him, I'll look like some desperate ass. This is the guy that I more or less shot down, the guy that I'm pretty sure gave up on me. What do I do? Do you think my previous actions toward him ruined my chances? Thoughts/Advice.

SO SORRY FOR THE LENGTH OF THIS

Did he give up on me?
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