Hi Archer & Kayak, I really like your male perspectives on a "guy being shy around a girl he is very interested in". I am in similar position as this girl - except add 10 years to the situation + complication that we work in the same office (sexual harassment risk and/or fear of upsetting the peaceful working environment). I would really like your advice as I cannot tell difference between friendly coworker vs. coworker that is scared to explicitly tell me he is interested...
Here's the skinny: Started working with him 3 months ago, there was an instant chemistry the minute we started talking - so powerful I felt he is bound to be feeling the same spark and I am sure others could see it if we interact in front of them at the office. Wasn't necessarily a strong physical attraction at first, more like a gravitation to each others energy/aura - simply drawn to that person instinctively without really knowing them. We are both in our 30s, had our fair share of short and long meaningful relationships but never met "the one" - so we are pretty experienced when it comes to determining whether it is a crush, lust or something more. So here are the individual scenarios and questions I need advice on:
1. Is he interested if he is normally outgoing in the office, but when around me seems not as composed, somewhat on edge both personally and professionally when we interact in front of other people and in private?
2. Is he interested and is there some serious mutual sexual tension when any chance interaction we have (outside washrooms, water cooler, kitchen) - if at all possible he flirts with me e.g. you going to use up all that boiled water? you couldn't bring my tea on your way back from the kitchen? asking me why I am on edge or jumpy around him (btw I am nervous around him too, but as a person, I am not shy at all!) but I try to pass it off that I am not to him!
3. Is he interested if both him and I put on a "front" in the office and to each other that we are not interested at all. There are favors I want to do for him naturally as I care for him and am considerate by nature - but I purposely refrain so as not to be showing preferential treatment to this guy vs. others? Would it work the same for him since he doesn't want to explicitly tell/s me he likes me (because of work situation) - so we both continue to pretend there is nothing there. I fear we may both let this meaningful connection pass us by because of work situation.
4. Is he interested but scared to express it to me if 4 of us are at a pub for lunch, table of 4, he sits to my right side, however, his chair faces my chair and his legs are on my chair. Therefore I kept accidentally brushing his knee when I used my hands while talking. Also when he orders his lunch - it comes - he mentions "I thought you ordered the same thing".
5. Finally would he act shy, flirt and make eye contact with me if all he wants is to risk an office fling or may he want more?