Why are black girls the least desirable?

Why is it that black girls are the most undesirable? (For non-black guys)I'm seeing a lot of negative things being said about black women in the media (mainly online). I even saw a forum thread dedicated to how black girls are the ugliest. Sure there are racist people that will say that other races are ugly, but black girls get the most heat. I've seen a lot of black girls ask similar questions, and people just think we're imagining things. I mean, look at the marriage rates. Black women are the least married race. I've heard people say that even black guys don't want black women.

This issue is causing my already low-self esteem to plummet to uncharted territories, even though I think I'm pretty compared to most black girls but not so pretty according to regular beauty standards (if that makes sense). My school is mostly white, but the few black girls that go there don't have boyfriends, and to me they are pretty and seem intelligent. Boys aren't everything and at our young age it's better to be more concerned with our academic and career goals, but I feel so discouraged when it comes to dating (keep in mind that I live in a predominately white area).

In conclusion, I would like to know what it is about black girls that's so unattractive? (BE HONEST, answer anonymously if you must, and don't feed me any crap about "preferences" because in most cases I find that there is underlying racism behind this so-called racial preferences).


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What is it about black girls that's so unattractive? I wouldn't know, as I am so hot for a lot black gals I know.

    I do understand what this is all about though... When messing around on HotOrNot, I noticed that great looking black gals who would be an 8 or 9 in my books will tend to score a 6 or 7 (rated by predominately white male audience). There is definitely some difference between how my friends and I view the level of attractiveness for most black women. I see hot white gal, my friends see hot white gal. I see hot black gal, my friends are like, NO.

    Far from holding my head up high as a white man and being uppity about the white race on how we have such high quality women among our ranks and high standards for the women we want to be with, I want to take this opportunity to call my friends out for being the morons they are. To me, it doesn't necessarily show they have great taste in gals by having the hots for women who are almost exclusively white (Asian occasionally), but it definitely shows they are missing out on a lot of great gals... Black gals!

    Black ladies, many you are so very fine in my eyes.

    18|1
    • LOL thanks for the compliment. I feel you on the friends thing. I've dated all races (white included) and my friends are cool and agree with how hot a guy is except when it comes to white guys. They say that they don't "prefer" white guys. I prefer a guy that is respectful, funny and cute no matter his color. :-)

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    • 2mo

      I'm not black or white so I guess I'm qualified for this. I think physically, there's too much of everything, big nose, big ill shaped lips, dark eyes over black skin, the majority are overweight. And there's also the hair. Then there's the caracter, black women are often not educated, strong and all that. You can of course find the same thing in white people, but less. But If I had to choose between the average whitie and the average blacke, I would probably chose black as they are generally more loving and appreciative, wich is closer to my culture

    • 1mo

      @TheHusband As a guy, you're unqualified to tell girls what girls look for in guys. And what the fuck is wrong with you? You don't describe humans as "lower quality" or "higher quality", you piece of shit.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey girl,

    I read your question and, if you are asking for absolute honesty, I am going to tell you that I think you're insecure. I am not putting you (nor would I put anyone) down for being insecure (I am insecure too)! But there is no "truth" out there that one race is better or worse looking than another. You're getting too caught up in the nasty, racist opinions of certain people (people who, I'm sure, you'd never want to even associate with; much less respect enough to give their words creedence). There is a lot of hatred out there towards people of color and, I believe, it is easy for that hatred to be soaked up by the people themselves. You might believe it's a "fact" that black women are "less attractive" than other women (whatever that may mean to you), but it is NOT. I am not black, but I am in a very small minority being a Jew and I have felt very negative against my heritage based on what other people say about it. It was eye opening when I finally realized that their hate was now inside of me too! I just began to really love my culture and learn more about it. I finally embraced it, but other people's hate took a long while to shake off. You'll shake it off too. Black women are exceptionally beautiful, just as all women are. Love yourself. There is nothing not to love!

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What Guys Said 279

  • Let me start out by saying that I'm a mutt of mostly Western European and Hispanic, and I find black girls attractive, and I've had 2 black girlfriends.

    Anyway, my explanation for why some non-blacks view black women as "less desirable" would be because they perceive the following to be true:

    - A large percentage of blacks, and thus black women, are "ghetto." While there are more whites who are poor and "trashy/ghetto" than blacks in the US, the RATIO of ghetto to non-ghetto is far higher among blacks than any other demographic (because there are far more whites than blacks in the US). They don't like "ghetto" anything, and blacks are more likely to be that way.

    - Part of the "ghetto" issue is that promiscuity is far higher in such cultures, which is a negative to people who didn't grow up with ghetto values.

    - Many people grew up in very homogeneous neighborhoods, and so they aren't used to being around blacks, or anyone very different from their own race. Thus, their standards of beauty reflect what they are most familiar and comfortable with. Dark skin, kinky hair, and exaggerated curves seem out of place to them, simply because they aren't used to it. Similarly, a white American will look very out of place in Japan, for the same reason (very homogeneous).

    - Many whites are afraid that if they try to date black women, black men will get angry and become violent with them, which does sometimes happen.

    - Black culture can be quite different from white culture, and many people may think they just won't have enough in common to date. They may not date others who have/maintain a strong, separate culture either.

    - Some are simply racist.

    You'll never win over everyone, but IMO, if you present yourself as a person of respect and integrity, and let people get to know your personality, I think you'll overcome most of the people who initially are skeptical or wary.

    5|4
    • There's a lot of truth in this answer, I think. I really like that you avoid to over-generalize.

  • God made black women first, and made the rest outta what was left over! I'm a white guy, but I wouldn't even consider dating, or marrying, anyone but a black woman. Maybe I'm all wet, but I find in most black women a great amount of inner strength yet a certain unique sensitivity or vunerablility. It's hard to explain, but it's there in Aces. For what ever reason, I just feel more at ease, more comfortable, with black people in general. I'm one of only two white guys at my church of over 300, but I'm always treated as jan equal. Actually, I may get a little more attention, as folks don't want me to feel like a minority. LOL

    15|1
    • Thanks for your kind words.

    • Arrrrrre you Serious? And asker, you thanked him for the kind words? This is not kindness, and it will simply drag you further into this racial divide!!

      'God made black women first, and made the rest outta what was left over!'

      Imagine if someone answered your question with 'Because God made white women first, and made the rest outta what was left over!' Can you even imagine that being a socially acceptable thing for ANYBODY to say? Yet the person above gets a pat on the back for his blatant racism? It's the same as the media hype around how curves and 'booty' are in and skinny girls are unattractive. Is this the way to combat inequality and insecurity? By knocking the previous perceived 'winner' off the podium and ruthlessly grabbing the crown in the name of 'feminism' and 'black empowerment'. Why don't people understand that gaining joy, fulfillment and self worth should not and CANNOT be boosted from viewing others negatively. Embrace and admire the beauty in each other sisters.

  • Hey, what about the black guys? I read somewhere over half marry non-African Americans...

    2|2
    • This does not necessarily mean that black men prefers non-black women. It *COULD* be because in the US, Anglo is still the majority, so the average person would interacts with Anglos the most, hence the chance of finding someone compatible who happens to be Anglo is higher than the chance of finding someone compatible who is of the same race.

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    • You're right. My puerto rican friend is engaged to a black guy and a lot of the black guys in my neiborhood are married to asian women. I live in a military town, I don't know if that's why I see more of it.

    • You're right. I wouldn't say half but I do know of many black men who marry outside their race. My puerto rican friend is engaged to a black guy. and several black guys in my neighborhood are married to asian women. There were of course some with black spouces, but interracial is very common to-maybe because I live in a military town I see it more

  • Does a majority really believe black girls to be unattractive?:-o

    I've also seen unattractive black girls of course, but in general they're pretty. All other things (kindness, intellect, her tastes and interests) being the same, I would prefer a black girl. (I'm white and happily married to a white woman in an area with 95% or so white people. When we met it was 100% white. Europe, you know...) To be completely honest, I'd rather bite(very softly!) in black skin than in white skin. Just more appetizing.

    5|0
    • Out of curiosity, why would you "prefer" a black girl?

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    • Okay, I see. Thanks.

      BTW: You live in Switzerland? There's a lot of black people there?

    • 3mo

      At 69... You just want something ANYTHING different. It's a natural human thing. Your age along with your marriage and later in life desire is, well... Ridiculous. Sorry. Good luck with that though.

  • I do not have a lot of experience with black females. I have only seen two of them in reality, for the place where I live in does not have a lot of them (or at least there aren't many black people around here in this city at all.)

    However based on that experience and what I see from the television, it is true - I really don't like black girls physically. I can safely say this is because of the high level of racism that has been around for a long time. Therefore it just does not match my ideal for a girl to have black skin. (In fact, I tend to find the whiter the more attractive, I also have issues with tans and natural summer brownness, but that is just my pickiness.) I'm used to white. We have this saying around here jokingly: "I'm not a racist or anything, but the human skin color is white." We say that as a joke, but it does sort of stay with your expectations.

    And if there are two other really dumb reasons, one of them is that they usually have giant lips which I do not like, and the second is that the experience I've had was ghetto-ish.

    "i jst dnt understand...perfect ryt nw would b if you were here makin me laugh and stuff"

    And she types like that! How can anyone type like that? Ugh.

    So that's basically it.

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    • You've never been anywhere in your life have you,your basing your ideas off of sterotypes,the average black family is middle class nowadays and your arguments are based off of woman from poorer neighborhood typically.but then agin you did say that you've never been around blacks.it not smart to use those two woman to base all black woman off of.and white skin is NOT the huamn skin color darker,tanned and brownskin outnumber white by a landslide worldwide,typical of you though,lmao at u,silly

    • It's not really a stereotype, it was what I saw. She wasn't poor. She was just ridiculously extroverted. And she loved shopping. And all that stuff which I frown upon. >.>

      I haven't met many of them, because there aren't many of them around here. Really. You see like two, maybe, in the whole city, because there are only like a hundred out of a hundred thousand.. xD

    • @mesonfielde that's not a good reason (but it is annoying when people type like that :I )

  • Imo, I feel that black women are the most harshly stereotyped people (race + gender) in this country. For some reason, the masses tend to believe the small sample of black women that he/she interacted with in their lives, or seen on TV, embodies ALL black women. :-X

    Sure, there are definitely some black women that I find un-datable...but then again, there are many women that I would find un-datable, regardless of race.

    I'm very attracted to black women. I love the physical features of a black woman. I usually go for the thicker ones, since I'm a big guy.

    I like their mental strength. I need a woman like that because I can tend to dominate a recessive person. However, she has to be feminine (as in "girly") at the same time. Nails done, makeup, feminine clothing style, effeminate demeanor, etc.

    Since I'm a pretentious college graduate (lol), she needs to stimulate my mind in an intellectual manner. I'm quite an analytical person, so I need someone who can mentally "hang" with me.

    I'm in love with a cutesy, smart, dark-skinned, thick & effeminate black woman. I'm lucky to have her. :)

    14|0
  • I know I'm not who you are asking this question to, but I may know...

    I think its something to do with the image black women portrait.

    I love y'all very much, and I know the other females in other races aren't perfect, but some of the things we put up with is just uncalled for.

    As far as y'all being unattractive to the males of other races...

    Thats tough, because to me other females are always trying to obtain the features that come natural to you.

    So I really think you have the wrong idea.

    Yeah you'll find some people with foolish opinions, but don't let it make you think most of them don't want you, because you are very desired!

    Don't let it offend you that chose to miss out on such a female of high quality.

    Good Luck in your research of trying to find out why...

    Sincerely,

    A Loving Black Man

    9|3
  • That’s a fascinating question.

    I guess it comes down to biology. We are just socializing mammals, and for most of human existence, we’ve only lived in small groups. It’s only been in the last 10,000 years or so (a mere blink of the eye in geological timescales) that we’ve started to live in gatherings of more than a few hundred. Back then every group was competing for the same resources, so it made evolutionary sense to be wary of strangers. If somebody wandered into your village, who looked different from your people, they were considered a threat.

    So we are genetically predisposed to be attracted to people who look somewhat like us. And to fear those who are different.

    In more recent times we’ve been forced to live in bigger and bigger groups and during the last hundred years, in far more diverse groups. Which means that a lot of us have managed to overcome that predisposition,

    Personally, I am a white guy living in a very multi-cultural city. I consider myself to be very liberal, and have friends from all races. I have seen plenty of beautiful Black women, Asian women, Mediterranean women, Arabic women... And I recognise their beauty. But I’m not sexually attracted to it.

    But there’s absolutely no denying that deep down inside my brain, that I find girls who look like me more attractive than girls who don’t.

    I’m sure that black guys find black girls hotter than others

    And Asian dudes dig on Asian chicks.

    That’s not to say that some people can’t overcome this programming –thank goodness they do. It makes the world a far more interesting place.

    4|0
    • ooh BULLSHIT. If you fear those who are different why do you love gingers? I don't see brunettes having issues with blond folk? Bc incase you haven't noticed; many white dudes bitch about Latinas being sexy. So why is that not the same for black women? They are all sick and you are all twisted

  • I think black women are beautiful, including really dark black women. I love the way their mouths look, the way the top lip flattens against their teeth when they smile. I love the roundness of a black woman's butt and the width of her hips, although that is not universal. There are some black women that are flat as boards and there are really curvy women from all different races.

    There are some things that many black women do to their appearance that are not attractive, and I think most white men would agree with me. Really long fake nails are gross. I look at them and all I can think about is whether it's possible for you to wipe your ass without getting fecal matter stuck underneath them. Plus they just look unattractive.

    Hair is another thing. Fake hair is unacceptable. Chemical warfare hair is okay, but it looks like it would be unpleasant to touch. It also looks like you wouldn't let me touch it, because it has to last. Natural, relaxed hair looks really good. It hides your high forehead rather than accentuates it, and it just looks easier to deal with. I can imagine myself kissing you and running my hand up your neck and into your hair. Moreover, I just like the way natural, springy, semi-afro hair look on black girls.

    Also, curvy does not mean fat. Curvy means that your butt and hips are large in proportion to the rest of your body. A round ass and wide hips, aren't the same as the huge ass and have-to-turn-sideways-to-get-through-the-door hips that go along with thunder thighs and an enormous belly.

    Another thing is that many white men are intimidated by black men. Many black men act just a little harder and a little more macho than many of us. I'm speaking in general terms here, but I think what I'm saying is often accurate. And black men are just a little bigger than we are too as far as penis size goes. The Lifestyles condom survey indicates that the average black man is half an inch longer than the average white man, which really isn't much, but a lot of white guys have this image of black p*rn stars with enormous penises. Louis CK made a joke about this on his television show. He was asking out a black woman on the subway and he said, "I know that, compared to black men, white men must seem a little gay," and the black girl just looks at him and nods. It was hilarious. A lot of white men look at black girls, and see a long line of well endowed, tough, black men who came before, and it's a hard act to follow. It's our loss. Really speaking from a cold, numerical perspective, with the numbers at which black guys date white girls, an adventurous white man should be able to clean up.

    3|0
  • Unattractive?... I have known many black (and white women) in my time. When I went to school, I even dated a few ladies, who happened to be black. And I can tell you this: In our cruel world, there are some hard truths, and one of these is the whole race issue.

    But as far as I am concerned, I never judge any person on this basis. If I liked a girl, it was because she was hot. I don't care if she was white, black or purple. I think race, unfortunately gets too much attention in our Society.

    For instance, who Doesn't like Denzel? He's one of the greatest actors of our time. Yet, I can't stand some of these rapper-punks, because they are not gentleman.

    What kinda guy can't admit that Ms. Beyonce Knowles isn't just delicious?! My God, I would give my right arm to share a pair of whiskeys with her...

    On the other hand, Paris Hilton? Are you freakin' kidding me? The woman looks like she got hit in the ass with a shovel!

    No, it's all about class, not skin color. I say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I like to occasionally steal a glance or two at a healthy, sexy young black chick, when my wife isn't lookin...

    13|3
    • I liked your answer and I agree with everything you said. It really made me smile.

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    • 51d

      Very Well Spoken

    • 51d

      And thank you, Mlle.

  • I've crushed on black women! White women, too.

    One attractive trait you possess is academic excellence and career goals.

    You write well. Easy to understand with correct word usage and punctuation.

    I was a reserve police officer. One of the officers (male) that I patrolled with had this "Joke of the day." One of the jokes was:

    What is wrong with a nice, well adjusted, black couple?"

    There's a fat blond somewhere, crying her eyes out.

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  • Not at all I am a white guy think that black girls are so sexy and many of my friends do as well don't know were you are living at all.

    3|0
    • Not the UK that's for sure. I wonder why it's so different here in the US. Guys here don't appreciate black girls.

    • Well can you please send more over here sheffield because we can't just get enough of them hmmmmmmm.

  • Because people like those who like, or seem to like, them. Most white guys have the same problem that most black women on here have: they believe that the other isn't interested. If you show a white guy (or any guy of any race) that you're interested, then, if he's attracted, he will ask. Now, it might take longer for him to get the hint than it would for a black guy, and you may have to be more direct, because for a while he might believe that it's all in his head and you're just being nice, but he should eventually get it.

    3|0
    • Ohhhh, you just made my life wayyyy easier. WOW. That makes sense.

  • Guys, like girls, have their individual ideas of what they find attractive in the opposite sex. As for me, being a Black man, I have dated Black women and can honestly say that the stereotype of Black women being "ghetto fabulous" is not true. Yes there are some who fit the criteria, but I know it doesn't fit the mold for the women I dated. When I was dating black women, I tend to go for the light skinned educated Black woman. Unfortunately, many other Black men seem to go after these type of Black women as well (light skinned.) Many of the Black women I dated often knew this and it created a "diva" like mentality and they often milked it for what it was worth. Once I realized that dating this type of woman was more about how much you were willing to spend on them and not about the romance, I decided to expand my dating pool to other races. I dated White, Hispanic and Asian women, all which have their own set of positives and negatives. I also know that people think Black women have attitudes and other women don't. Let me educate you guys on a little something. If you piss off any woman, she will make it known she is unhappy, though some Black women tend to be a little louder, more confrontational and combative when doing it. Point is all women, and men have attitude. Its part of our personality traits. It just may take a little more to set some of us off than others, but its there.

    When I started dating other women besides Black, I found that I saw physical facial features I love in each ethnic group. Don't get me wrong, I think each ethnicity has beautiful women within it, but for the features I was drawn more, led me to lean more toward foreign ethnic women, mostly Asian and Hispanic.

    As I see it, with all I have learned I decided that if all women can possess attitude, I wanted to go for the woman who possessed the most facial features I am attracted to. I tend to love women who don't require or use excessive make-up, don't wear contacts to change the color of their eyes, wear their own natural nails instead of the cosmetic nails and wear their own natural hair, instead of weaves.

    My best friend, who is also my girlfriend, now fiancée and soon to be wife is Asian and I would ever consider dating anyone else as she completes me. not only does she possess the facial features I love, but our personalities are so close to each other naturally, that we seldom have disagreements.

    The bottom line is, since there is beauty in everyone, you need to seek out what makes you look and feel most beautiful about yourself. Once you find that, your esteem will rise and that will resonate to those around you. You can't expect for others to find you beautiful if you have low self esteem. Find what makes you happy and let that be your baseline. It will also help you find out who is most important to you because those who don't like it won't like you any better or worse and those who do will be more than glad to be around and court you

    6|0
    • You state there's beauty in everyone but you never attempted to date darker hues of black women. Doesn't that sound a bit redundant coming from you? I'm not knocking your preference but i find it funny you choose to use both sides of your mouth.

    • Actually Cicime84 he clearly stated that he has dated quite a few black women in the past.

  • Well, you said to don't feed you crap about preferences, but in my case it is the truth.

    I prefer the european beauty, so mostly white girls...

    But as you asked for a reason, and I don't want to sound racist, which I am not, actually I lost my virginity with a black girl (that was probably unnecessary to say, but ok...), what I really dislike in black women is the nose, the large nose I mean and MAYBE and JUST MAYBE the hair, because if the girl knows how to uses her hair with style, there is no problem too... besides that, I see no problem in black women... I even have a theory that black girls have a facility to keep their body in shape, I obviously don't have any statistics or stuff like that, it's just my impression... Of course maybe that's just because I live in Brazil, so here I see lots of black girls and most of them with perfectly attractive bodies :)

    0|0
  • Funny thing is you asked the question and said the answer... MEDIA.



    If you tell a lie long enough, loud enough and often enough, the people will believe it.-------Adolph Hitler.

    Check out what the media says about black girls, hell remember the white girl that got missing in aruba or some place like that, look at all the media coverage, but I promise you if that girl would have been a black girl, she wouldn't have got nearly as much media coverage, why, because it's understandable if a black girl would run away from home, but a white girl, God Forbid...she came from a good home, she did this and did that, oh and by the way she was beautiful...thus indirectly, people will see this and decide that beauty looks like this. Beauty is in the eye of the camera.

    5|1
    • Interesting points you made.

      Yes, black girls go missing and get raped all the time and no one cares. it's really sad. You have to be society's definition of beauty to even be thought about. I actually blame black media more. BET is the worst!

  • They're not the least attractive. But you're talking about a predominantly white nation having a preference towards predominantly white women.

    It's interesting all the generalizations about black women. A lot of such generalization, like the attitude or the weight, come from how black Americans are socialized by each other and the media. They are still recovering from a past so traumatic is sends ripples through the entire race.

    But it's rather ironic to generalize blacks: Nearly all of the genetic variety in the human species is in Africa and in blacks around the world. Europe, for instance, is the most genetically-homogeneous continent on the planet. The Germanic nations even more so.

    So you can expect that white people would have a preference for white features. And TBH, the stereotypical black woman (Loud-mouthed, KFC-eating, finger-waving, generously-sized woman.) repulses me to no end. But since when were all black women like that?

    Here are some women I find quite attractive:

    Aisha Tyler:

    link

    Halle Berry:

    link

    Michelle Obama:

    Not as much physically, but I think she's awesome.

    Esperanza Spalding:

    link

    To finish it off, I have a question for women, then. What do WOMEN have against Asian men? Asian men seem to be viewed as the least desirable men.

    I've heard enough times "How did that Asian guy end up with a white girl? Like THAT can ever happen." To which I reply "Okay, sure...but they get Asian women!"

    3|0
    • I PERSONALLY DO NOT have a problem with Asian men. In fact, I am absolutely crazy for them!!! From personal experiences, I have been ridiculed for obsessing with Asian men, from women of different backgrounds. Basically, the stereotypes fall into place. It's sickening... It's from the same women that say, "Men don't like me because I'm too fat, I'm too ugly..." But you just did the same external thinking to that Asian man that could have been amazing, etc. I don't get it. I want my future husband to be Asian, I don't want to talk a lot, but my heart is in Korea; both North and South and I plan I marrying someone from there too <3

    • Asian men are super sexy, it's just that most of them cannot date outside of their race because of their heritage, so I just assume he's unavailable. It's hard for me to find an Asian boyfriend, and believe me... I want one!

  • its going to sound racist, because it is. my idea female image is slender with a tight rear and small chest. reverse that image and you have the general black women shown by the media and usual films. I live in n.h., and here we don't have much ethnic diversity, so any other races seem truly exotic, and not all of us like exotic. I don't dislike AA women, they just don't excite me

    2|2
    • You allow the media to shape your perceptions? Black girls come in every size and body shape just like all of the other races of women! I don't understand why people can't even see black women as human beings. We're just like everyone else.When I went to class today I noticed something...there are no fat black girls in my class. All of the fat girls are white. I'm slender and I have a small chest. Actually white girls are known for having big chests. Black girls are known for having big butts.

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    • Hmm odd, until I answered you I never really considered it, I've grown up in an interesting way, family is entirely odd, no 2 people the same. race has never truly been something I even cared enough to notice, until it came to dateing. problem with America today, people like me. the sad part, nothing I can do to change it, its how I've been programmed.

    • At least this guy admits he's racist. I would have a bit more respect for racists (okay not really) if they were just honest with themselves. own that sh*t guys lol just be real with yourselves and everyone else.

  • I can't tell you this isn't true for a lot of people but it isn't true for me I am European mostly also a little bit Asian and I find a lot of black girls attractive both African American and Somalian or other countries. I have crushes on lots of African Muslim girls at my school I love the dresses they wear and the hijab and I find a lot of them to be very smart and nice even if they tend to be more religious than most of the people I hang out with. I don't think its accurate to say black girls are the ugliest. To be honest I am not very attracted to white girls myself some are but in general not my preference. I am a very tan European guy partly Gypsy and I'm kind of a nerd so a lot of white people left me out of their social groups but a lot of black people accepted me as a friend and a lot of black girls have had crushes on me while a lot of white girls seem to treat me like I am a freak. So in general I have found African people both male and female to be more friendly with strangers and less judgemental which makes a lot of sense. Races vary a lot some black girls are very curvy some skinny just like all the other races. I tend to be drawn to curvy girls I am dancing around this so I'm just gonna come out and say this I like big butts I cannot lie on a girl of any race but a lot of African girls have them. As for hair I love peoples hair to be what its supposed to be. If you are Norwegian with long blond hair be proud its beautiful. If you are Latina/Native wear that long black hair don't die it. If you are African with black curly hair be proud wear braids or an afro, I have noticed different African people grow different kinds of hair because just like in Europe people in different countries of the same race look a little different. I wish less black girls got their hair straightened to try to look more white. I am not gonna say straight hair isn't beautiful because it can be but curly hair is beautiful too and no one looks beautiful trying to be someone they're not. The guy ChaosPrefect sounds kinda racist assuming all black girls act a certain way its not true. But the small percentage of African girls that do act way to stereotypical hip hop ghetto are annoying and frankly hard to talk to. I can understand most black slang but not if its said really really fast. Yet again racism means a lot of white men don't think of black girls as marriage material but that doesn't mean they don't think your sexy they just want to exploit black women for sex only. Just remember its really racist people who are missing out not you. As for me I have dated black latino and white women and would definitely consider marrying a black girl if that's where things led. I know that's not really an answer to your question but If Ihad to guess it would be not that black girls are considered in any way less beautiful or sexy just that because of racism some of white men don't even consider black women for serious relationships. Their loss

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    • I really appreciate your answer because I had a bad day and reading a couple of the answers below made me feel even worse about it.

      Anyway, I was in no way saying black girls are the ugliest. I think all races are equally beautiful but it does seem like people consider black women the least desirable. I've created fake accounts on online dating sites and I've seen pages and pages worth of guys that check off every race except black (I saw that many black men also do this).

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    • I love you... ^_^

    • Thats cool you should hit me up on AIM sometime my name on there is TheMSMKhan

      Sometimes I feel the same way you do about my "race" I am mixed race so when people keep to their own race I get left out. I'm not any girls ideal guy to take home to their mom and my skin makes people nervous at the airport

  • Think about your question this way:

    Problem #1: You think that women of African descent are ugly.

    My Solution: There have been 8 African American Mrs.USA winners and there are approximately 309,834,000 people in the USA as of 2010 so they can't be the least attractive race.

    Problem #2: School is predominantly white

    My Solution: Interracial relationships take much more commitment than other relationships, so you will more than likely have trouble in that effort.

    Problem #3: African women least married race

    My Solution: Think about it like this, the African predominant countries are for the most part in the third world. For them food is more important than making their relationship official.

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    • First of all, I do not think that women of African descent are ugly. I am of African descent myself and so are many family members and friends. I think black women are just as beautiful as women of any other race. However, it is my understanding that many men of other races do no think black women are on the same level as women of other races.

    • In my question for the most part I wasn't referring to African women, but instead African-american women or women of african descent that are not an African nationality.

      The black girls where I live either date interracially or don't date at all. The ones that would rather date intraracially tend to fight over the same guy that another girl is after. I think interracial dating is a solution.

  • But anyway today I met the sweetest girl and she happened to be black. Of course due to my perpetual shyness towards any female of the human species...after all the flirting and question asking, all I did was shake her hand and tell her "you are so nice" and walked away. She was a true ray of sunshine in my usual gloomy cloud covered day. lol. Yep, I;m a dick sometimes. sad but true.

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    • Yeah, I think we all see that ad.

      Aww, you should have asked for her number. If I was her I would have been happy if you did.

      Well if you got a chance to see her again what would you do?

      Oh and I noticed that it says you're from New York. I'm from a predominantly white neighborhood complete with racists and everything. So that could be it. Well I appreciate your answer.

  • ohh how strange, I know a lot of white guys that like black woman only and they complain that they get shot down a lot by black woman. what a strange world we live in eh?

    I say don't have that idea in your head that somehow you are inferior to this or that. Be yourself and you'll attract a guy that best suits you, don't occupy your thoughts on who you think shouldnt/couldnt/wouldnt like you.

    the irony of me reading this question is: I see an ad for an interacial dating service called: afro-romance and there is a sexy black woman with a half naked white dude in the ads photo. No lie, very ironic.

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  • I think in general most people are attracted to people that look similar to themselves. Of course there are tons of exceptions, but as a general rule I think that holds. This probably holds true in terms of the way we act and the like also. I don't mean to stereotype all black people because I know there is a large diversity, but for many there is a distinctive black culture. For most people today I don't think it is a conscious racism, just that it is natural to be more attracted to people we see and think are the same as us.

    You noted in your question and I think it is accurate that media portrayal of beauty standards has something to do with that--even black models seem to have more "white" characteristics (Tyra Banks, Vanessa Williams, Rihanna, etc.).

    The marriage thing has a lot to do with history and policy that have led to single mothers being more common than among other racial groups. Under slavery marital unions were often broken up among slaves for business and other reasons. In more modern times the former welfare laws contributed to higher rates of single mothers. Up until welfare reform happened under Bill Clinton it was much more difficult for a family to obtain welfare assistance if there was a man in the house. And because of socioeconomic issues it was not uncommon that black men were not able to obtain and maintain high enough paying jobs to adequately support a family. These factors provided incentives against getting married.

    I think the history of racism does also hold some sway as far as interracial marriages are concerned. Just two generations ago interracial marriages were strongly discouraged in many areas of the country. It takes at least 2-3 generations for those kinds of ideas to change.

    If it means anything from a self-esteem point of view, I dated black girl and I find many black women very attractive. I would date more if I hadn't already met and married the love of my life (who happens to be hispanic).

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    • Asian cultures are distinctive too but there's not that much negativity towards those cultures. People will even turn positive characteristics of black culture into negatives. Why are black men more attractive to people outside of their race than black women?

      Also, I don't think Tyra and Rihanna have white characteristics. Vanessa Williams yes.

      Well everything seems to work against black women. I guess it sucks to be born a black girl.

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    • Ahhh, I'm sorry. That was not my intention. I don't get the Asian fascination because it doesn't register for me. I don't find Asian girls especially attractive, and culturally they are just too dissimilar for there to be a connection for me. There are beautiful Asian people, true, but there are also many beautiful black people. I see beautiful black girls everyday at the university. You will find somebody that is attracted to you and loves you for you.

    • I've asked why black men are more likely to date outside of their race than black women to my friends. They said something interesting: black men exhibit a lot of the stereotypical manly ideals: strength, masculinity, power. Women are ideally supposed to be delicate and fair, and black women tend to fall at the opposite of this spectrum. Socially, we just get certain things beaten into us and it will take a long time for these unjust archetypes to be undone.

  • I had a crush on a black girl once. Just as I was about to ask her out, she got a job in another country and moved away! Damn. Anyway, just thought I'd throw that in there.

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    • Thanks for being open to black girls. If you come across another one, don't let her get away!

  • I don't find this venue to be a place that is going to be very affirming for any WoC. And I recommend you surround yourself with people who see you as beautiful just as you are. Below I recommended one site called "Racialicious" and there are so many more: The Feminist Texican, Womanist Musings, and all the blogs they link to. I would never send any of my Black woman friends here! I find this place generally too white-dominated.

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  • There's nothing wrong with black girls at all, physically. In fact the way their bone structure is, it makes their curves generally more pronounced and gives the illusion of a toned physique even if there really isn't one, and that's sexy. My problem is with the uneducated-sounding way most of them seem to talk, and don't get me wrong I've known lots of white girls who talk that way too but honestly I could NEVER date a girl who talked that way. That and, to be honest, there is a stereotype about black girls that may or may not be true but I'm a little weary of it, the fact that they generally have bad attitudes. Yes I know, its bad to listen to stereotypes and I shouldn't be, but this one just gets to me for some reason.

    But yeah, if I ever met a black girl who spoke in a way that made her sound educated and didn't seem to have the "attitude" commonly associated with black girls, I wouldn't really pay attention to the fact that she was black at all.

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    • That's what's up. :)

      (if you don't mind my 'slang...haha)

      And what makes your point even more valid is that the stereotypical black girls that you see on TV, in rap videos, or whatever else actually PISS the rest of us off...badly.

      They literally ruin thing for us who don't act like fools.

    • I'm 90% black and there are a lot of black females that are very educated within my own female, meaning that there is plenty more educated black females. I find it a little agitating that you seem to think we have an attitudes. Just because we speak upon how we feel doesn't mean that we are always mad, just means we are not going to sit there and not be heard like a lot of other race female such as white females. We speak are mind and yeah maybe its in a forceful way but we feel we have to be that way because men think they have power over all females. How they sound is a different story. They talk the way they do because of how/where they were raised. Its just like if you were from Minnesota and you moved to some where that do not recognize your accent, they would make fun of you and that's kind of what you are doing in a way without even realizing your doing it. I'm so glad that I was raised to get to know a person and the people around them, in then make my judgement.

  • I haven't been around many black women that was my age to start with. In my school there was only 1 black boy and no black girls until the middle of the 8th grade. They never got treated any differently and color was never an issue. We all hung out together, played ball and went to the school dances...I even danced with her. They was both cool as hell to hang out with. I am still friends with both of them.

    After school the few black women I have talked to or been around in my age group was rude, loud, ghetto and obnoxious. I wouldn't have given them the time of day, but it is due to the they act and not their color...I would ignore any girls that acted that way. On a sexual level I don't like big boobs and most of the black girls I have known my age have really big boobs. I mean really big...watermelon size.

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    • Why can't the guys where I live be more like you? As for the big boobs...I think black girls are more known for big butts than big boobs. When I think of big boobs I think of white girls. All of the black women in my family have small boobs except for my mom, and I did not inherit that characteristic from her.

    • Where you at? HaHaHa...

      If I found a really decent black, Asian, Japan or any other color I would try it. I don't mind skin color...it is the attitude and their personality, but I would like to try them anyways...lol I don't know why...:)

  • Perhaps because black women are substantially more violent towards their boyfriends and husbands than the other way 'round.

    A study of FBI statistic found that of all racial or ethnic groups, black men are the *most* likely to be killed by a spouse [Mercy, J. A., & Saltzman, L. E. (1989). "Fatal violence among spouses in the United States, 1975-85" American Journal of Public Health, 79, 595-599.]

    A 1985 study [Hampton, R. L., Gelles, R. J., & Harrop, J. W. (1989). "Is violence in families increasing?" A comparison of 1975 and 1985 National Survey rates. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 51, 969-980] found that black women exhibit three times the rates of violence towards their partners, compared to white women.

    More recent studies found that black women are more likely to attack their boyfriends/husbands than the boyfriends are to attack their wives/girlfriends. [Caetano, R., Schafter, J., Field, C., & Nelson, S. M. (2002). "Agreement on reports of intimate partner violence among white, Black, and Hispanic couples in the United States." Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 17, 1308-1322.]

    or [Clark, M. L., Beckett, J., Wells, M., & Dungee-Anderson, D. (1994). "Courtship Violence among African-American college students." Journal of Black Psychology, 20 (3), 264-281.]

    or [DeMaris, A. (1992). "Male versus female initiation of aggression: The case of courtship violence." In E. C. Viano (Ed.), Intimate violence: interdisciplinary perspectives. (pp. 111-120). Bristol, PA: Taylor & Francis.]

    or [O'Keeffe, N. K., Brockopp, K., & Chew, E. (1986). "Teen dating violence." Social Work, 31, 465-468.]

    or [Rouse, L. P. (1988). "Abuse in dating relationships: A comparison of Blacks, Whites, and Hispanics." Journal of College Student Development, 29, 312-319]

    or [Sorenson, S. B., Upchurch, D. M., & Shen, H. (1996). "Violence and injury in marital arguments: risk patterns and gender differences." American Journal of Public Health, 66 (1), 35-40]

    or... you get the idea.

    By the way, it's not just black girls who are more likely to attack their partners. Hundreds of studies show women tend to use more physical aggression than men do in dating:

    link

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    • Thats absurd! you sound ridiculous. yes, there are white guys who may be intimidated by black girls, but violence is not the primary reason for white guys to find black girls least desirable amongst other races. I'm not a white guy and I know that. Unless you wanna say that most white guys are p****s and afraid of getting their ass beat by a black girl so they don't desire them . I don't think so. Your "statistics" are unneccessary and you're over-exaggerating everything. its simply unreasonable.

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    • Yea timberlake, I agree.. people should stand up for themselves.. no matter what race or how innocent or humble they are.. I'm glad that you don't take shhit from anyone.. that's how all girls should be.. I'm sick of girls breaking up with guys and getting back together over and over because he has an emotional cholkhold on her through physical violence.. I have a sister, she is innocent and naive and I can only hope she can stand up for herself when she get into a relationship or in general.

    • Great answer!

  • Let me first say I am not racist.

    I also do not find "black girls" attractive.

    Alright.. I'm not saying I don't find most attractive. There are very few if any that I can say I find atractive. But the same istrue for me for asain girls.

    Im only talking about looks though.

    When it comes to personality and adittued. I usally don't like the way they tend to act. However I'm sure that they don't all act the same way but I have yet to find one that isn't annoying, loud and obnoxious and rude.

    Say what you want but I personally find it very difficult to find black woman that I find attractive.

    Deathecutioner

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  • I'm sure that this isn't true in all places, but in my school all of the black girls hang out with the dumb "gangsters" and I am not interested in that type of girl. I know not all black girls are like the ones in my school, but whenever I see one I unconsciously group them with the dumb gangsters just because that's what I'm used to seeing. Although I know stereotyping is wrong, these stereotypes are there for a reason. Just try and distance yourself from that crowd. Try to get to know people better so they can see what your really like, and people will look past those stupid stereotypes.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 232

  • Oh honey, don't let this get to you. I think you need to understand that there is a difference for a man between being attracted to a woman physically and being attracted to a woman where you want to date her.

    Some of the white guys around you would loss their minds at the thought of having sex with you. Men love variety. They really are curious what all women look like naked. So a man can be immensely attracted to a woman, regardless of race, but he may not ever pursue a relationship with her.

    Men hate rejection. Women do too but men have to face it more since they are the ones asking out the other person. So what happens? Men become very logical about what choices they have to make. A guy may see you, think you are beautiful, but logically he thinks you only date black guys or their is a "cultural difference" (even if you grew up in the same culture) or he thinks that you may not be attracted to him. Men go for women they think they can get. Black women are very hard for most men to approach because they are stereotypically strong, confident, ball busters. And a lot of men, especially those in white culture, don't know how to handle it.

    A perfect example of this is my best friend and her sister. They are half black and live in a white community. Everyone says they look alike so physically they really aren't too different. And before you assume they are both models, they aren't. They are both pretty but average also. But my friend has been asked out by white men, Mexican men, black men, and Asian men. And she is currently with a Jewish guy. While her sister has never been asked out. Why? Because my friend is sweeter in personality. She is kind and gentle and compassionate. When we go out together, I just see her flash that sweet smile and those doe eyes at a guy and he melts. He doesn't care if she is purple, you can tell he is thinking up how he can pick up on her cause he thinks he has a chance now. But her sister is a hard ass. Guys are afraid to ask her out.

    I'm not saying you should change your personality. Just understand that a lot of the guys that know you may think you would never date them in a million years even if they find you stunning.

    So hang in there. One day a guy who is brave enough will step up.

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  • I'm white, and I've seen many black girls whose beauty I envied. But any man who would not date a woman based on her appearances alone is shallow.

    I've noticed something about the black community, however, and I don't mean to generalize--many times, it seems that black women are viewed in a more demeaning and less respectful way by their own families and communities, with young girls being raised with the mentality that they have to catch a man and keep him happy. This is somewhat less true for whites. Again, I'm generalizing, and correct me if I'm wrong. But I'm a salesclerk and I see and deal with all kinds of people. I've seen black men treat their girlfriends like they were lucky to have any kind of male attention at all. This is as much her problem as it is his. Her acceptance of his treatment of her just perpetuates it.

    For an intelligent, educated, and pretty black woman such as you seem to be, you should not have any problem finding someone who values you for who you are.

    One last thing--for every rule, there is an exception. For instance, it's thought that most men prefer women with big breasts. And maybe they do, but that isn't stopping the millions of small-breasted women in the world from finding people who love them and value their beauty. So even though you may think that many men find black women unattractive, there are just as many men who think they're beautiful--or who, most importantly, judge women on an individual basis rather than as a group.

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  • Like some people say, they might not have ever dated anyone who is outside of thier race, or maybe even black girls. They could be intimidated. They might thing that you aren't interested in them. I am sure that you have a couple of white guy friends in school. Why don't you ask them if they find you attractive or if they would ever consider dating you. :))

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    • I asked one of my white guy friends if he found black girls attractive and he said that black girls that look like Beyonce are attractive and he that I was pretty for a black girl, but then he said black girls weren't his thing. So I don't know why he wouldn't date a black girl if he is attracted to some of them. I think there's a reason but I don't think he would say why for fear of offending me.

  • Ok I'm going to be completely honest with you now and I don't want any hateful comments. I'm black (Nigerian) and I live in a predominantly white area that is adjacent to a really diverse area. I also go to a predominantly white school. I think the reputation of black women has been tainted. We are seen in such a negative light because of the way we are portrayed in the media. Shows like Jerry Springer and Maury make us look like we are promiscuous and low down and also unintelligent. Also, have you noticed how movies always show black people in the ghetto or show black women as saying things like "um hmm sister girl" "oh no he didn't" and rolling their heads and smacking their teeth. It's ignorance and people that don't really understand black people are going to say and do things because of what they've seen from a few black people. The media also has a greater affect on people than they know. I think it really depends on the people you are around because I'm black but I get attention from all color guys and I like guys of all different races including my own. It's just the way things are in the world you're always going to get the ignorant people and the more open minded.

    Also, it's the way some black girls act that causes them to be seen that way honestly there are some black girls that don't know how to act and people seeing that makes everyone think we are the same. I advise you to do what makes you happy and date whoever makes you happy. I know a whole bunch of white girls my friends included who are single so it's not just black girls (I blame it on the guys of today but whatevs haha). I definitely wouldn't judge all black girls because of what a handful do. It all depends on who raised you and where you were raised. Black girls usually have the hardest lives and go through a lot so they sometimes come off a little stronger than others. They don't mean to but you are a product of your environment. I'm Nigerian so I wasn't really taught to act the way other black girls around me usually do and I also live around a lot of white people so I'm also a product of my environment.

    Don't feel bad about how you look because of your skin color because let me tell you black is beautiful. If you carry yourself well, take care of yourself people notice no matter what color you are and if their are racists then screw them they don't matter because they're stuck in a fantasy world where they haven't realized that yeah there are other races other than mine and they are no different than mine it's ignorance that's in these people and that's the way they will always be. Do what's best for you and celebrate being black because that's part of what makes you beautiful : )

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  • I think that's ridiculous to say an entire group of people are ugly. Everyone looks different. Of course there are similarities. Black women have their assets just like any other race. Full lips, dark eyes, curvy figure. That sounds like today's ideal beauty to me. And I wouldn't worry about fitting in with the ideal beauty anyway, we all know they are impossible standards. What's more ideal is to accept our own beauty, no matter what.

    I've not experienced this thing about black women not being as beautiful. Partly because I'm white, so I'm just oblivious to it. But maybe being in a predominately white area they see you as different and unfamiliar and are afraid. When you are at a point in your life to move, look for a place with lots of diversity, you will find accepting people that won't think being black is so different.

    My best friend in college was a black girl and she preferred white men. And we noticed that typically white men see black women as "exotic". And she had many dates and boyfriends, but rarely long term relationships because these men were looking to get to have sex with "the black girl".

    I really have no clue why all this is, but I wanted to give my most honest answer. I'm sorry you have to experience this, I think black women do have a hard role to play in life, and it makes them stronger and more independent and perhaps superior women.

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    • I also forgot to add my friend is currently in a serious long-term relationship with a white man. So, while in her youth she had more trouble, as she got older men weren't so superficial I guess.

    • No...they are not afraid of me. They'll be nice to me and be my friend but they won't even consider me or another black girl for a girlfriend.

  • well my boyfriend, who is white, has told me many stories about being with black girls sexually and relationship wise, and he just tells me that black girls have a smell to them that make them unattractive, all of them, not bad hygeine, or anything like that, its just black women, that is it. I don't know if this is answering your question, or anything, but I'm just telling you what I know. or what he supposedly knows. but he grew up in st. louis and grew up with mainly all black women and men. sooo...yeah. that's all I have to say.

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    • Lol that's pretty funny. Just what does this magical odor that automatically makes black women unattractive smell like? How can he even know how "all" black women smell? What your boyfriend says sounds like rubbish. Surely you don't believe that right? If there is a smell that many black women of St. Louis share, then it probably has diet more than anything (meaning girls with the same diet will smell the same way, not just black girls). That's definitely the first time I've ever heard someone say that

    • Yet the supposed smell didn't stop him from f-cking those black girls did it? He's just tyring to make you feel less threatened by the fact that he prefers black women but settled for you. LOL

  • oh good god. girl with your self esteem you really shouldn't have asked this question. I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I'm a black girl (half white though) and I went to predominantly white schools and I remember feeling the exact same way. once I learned more about our history in this country, racism, blacks in the media, etc. I started to love myself more because I understood things a bit better. I have dated several white guys but I'm not so foolish to think most of them are into black girls. a hell of a lot of them are not attracted to us.

    you can see the racism in like half the answers on this page girl. that should speak loudly enough for you to understand that not everyone is on the same level mentally and ignorance is like a cancer pretty much killing one mind at a time when it comes to race and culture. do not obsess over this because it will break you. I know. the thing you have to accept is that there is virtually nothing you can do about it. just be yourself. sure, present yourself well enough but don't feel like every action has to be a direct contradiction to the stereotype held high for us. I'm very loud. I know this is a stereotype but its how I am and I'm not going to change that just because a bunch of ignoramuses think we are the loudest. if there aren't any white guys who like you for you then you'll just have to accept that. I'm sure one will though. almost all my black girl friends are or have dated white guys. no kidding. one of my black friends is obsessed with asian guys and dates them like crazy. I've seen it all really.

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    • Thanks for your answer. I'm not loud but don't really seen what's so bad about being loud in the first place. Most people that are loud have a lot of confidence and guys are always saying they love confident girls. I'm not like eager to get white guys or any guy. I just notice an overwhelming amount of black women around me are single, and at school I notice not a lot of guys socialize with black girls. At my school I've only seen one interracial couple involving black girl.

    • Where are you from if you don't mind me asking? if you do that's okay lol

  • Don't believe that crap sweetheart! I am a black girl and I have dated outside of my race and inside of my race and every guy I've dated has thought that me and my friends were all beautiful. I even dated a white guy that had never dated a black girl before and he said his whole opinion on black women changed and we are still friends to this day! Yes, society dictates that black women are "less pretty" but I 100% disagree. What about the Angela Basset's and the Sanaa Lathan's or the Halle Berry's? Gorgeous black women! I could go on and on! This one black guy (and he is fine as all get up) that I've been seeing has dated white women, asian women, hispanic women you name it, and he told me that the only reason why a lot of men are intimidated by black women is because you have to come at us in a "real" way. Meaning, we usually see right through all the crap they try to give and so you have to come corrected. He said that's the fun part though because you do have to be on your A-game. Feel proud of who you are.I am not "ghetto" at all. I was raised by both parents in a suburbian home, went to college and am proud of who I am. I went to a mainly white college but white guys still talked to me because I exuded confidence. When you are confident and secure in your beauty ANY guy will want you. I think all women are beautiful (every race) and black women are in that list as well! Keep your head up sweetie! :-)

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  • Sweetheart be proud of your culture...forget the asses that believe black women aren't attractive. I guarantee you that America is probably the only place in the world where you would be considered ugly. Black women have been known for being strong and somewhat domineering in your homeland but considering everything and the fact that they had to fight for everything then it is to be expected.

    Where I live in the Caribbean being a black women is more than the colour of our skin, here we are intelligent, gentle but firm when need be, wonderful life partners, proud mothers, leaders of countries, doctors, lawyers, humanitarians, teachers, artistes in every sense of the word and a beautiful people. Ignore them and remember that you come from a long line of women just like that.

    Not everywhere in the world is the standard for beauty long straight hair, a straight nose, thin lips, coloured eyes, fake breasts, skinny hips, collegen and a flat bottom.

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  • I have to admit that there are some very truthful, honest and educated comments regarding this question. So instead of repeating what has alreaady been said I will just comment on something that I do not believe has been brought up. Yes, most the peopleon this site may not be racist BUT their parents grew up in a different time and they may be. Most people care what their parents think and I have experienced white men that like me and think I am beautiful but have told me straight up they couldn't see bringing a black girl home to their families. For some reason Asian women are acceptable but not black or hispanic to bring home to mom.

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  • I know many Caucasian males who prefer Black Women. What I think is sad, is that you're desperately trying to get the attention of Caucasian males. I understand there is a shortage of African American males in your school, but this should not plummet your self-esteem. Maybe the men in your school choose to date women within their race. It's not always a bad thing. Do not take it too personal. Another reason why you probably have not attracted a White male is because you are thinking about it too much! I am a Black Woman. I have never been in a relationship with someone outside my race...but I have always been approached by White males. But if they didn't approach me, my self esteem certainly would not plummet!

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  • i think you should watch White Chicks to compare blond dumb bitches to african american girls who tend to say "I'M GONNA BUST YO MUTHAF()CKIN ASS", and see which one is more approachable and therefore more desirable xD

    But yet, there are many black girls that are very beautiful and desirable in this industry.

    Look at Halle Berry and Beyonce for example. They are beautiful, gorgeous and sexy women that men of all nationalities drool over.

    I also think that Alicia Keys is very beautiful, but she is half white.

    What do most of these women have in common? They have class.

    Thanks to comedians and tv, the media has portrayed african american women to be ghetto, and unmannered people.

    I believe that there are A LOT of intelligent, talented and or beautiful african american girls there, and if you let it shine through, you'll be very desirable.

    Being black is not a factor in what men seeks as a partner. I've seen many black people hanging out with whites and having white boyfriends.

    therefore I think its also based on the culture and who you hang out with. If you hang out with your own race, you are definitely going to date someone black. Chinese date chinese if chinese people is the only race they hang out with. However, if you mix with the whites, chances are very high that you will date a nice caucasian male.

    Good luck

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  • I don't think black girls are ugly, just like every other race, some white bitches are fugly lol Chinese, mexican, it don't matter all races have somewhat an ugly person... but I'm white, my ex who is also white told me him and his new girlfriend wanted to come kick it so I was like sure whatever, and he texted me like "She is black, don't be racist!" PFT as if I'm racist! he goes around calling his own "white" mom a Ni****. so this girl and him show up and DAMN, This girl was way pretty for a black girl, It just depends, take good care of yourself, your skin, and you are just as beautiful. Every race has their own unique qualitys that make them beautiful!

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  • im part black and I just want to say thank you for this question. I don't usually have a problem attracting the guys I want but I know it is an issue - narrow views on beauty and racism toward us. seriously though this question is astounding. I've never read so much anti-black women bashing and open racism in one place in a long time. bravo kids lol it really just shows you how far off we are from being the post racial utopia some people think we live in. racism is very real and in the hearts of many (dare I say most?) people who wouldn't usually admit to it in person. so that's why we have the internet :D

    i think european standards of beauty and the degrading of african beauty is at the heart of it. its everywhere. nappy hair? fix it? darker skin? ew. p*rn allows men to examine womens bodies easier and see the image of sexiness being promoted I think. also racism in the form of stereotypes and cultural superiority come in. we are stereotyped as having certain attitudes, certain habits. traditional ideas on female submissiveness and docility also play a part and how many bw these days don't fit that mold. lots of things. ironically, white women with the same personality traits that are stereotyped as being common in bw won't be judged as harshly. its just reality I guess in a world build on racism.

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    • Thanks for your answer. I guess I just have to accept it because I don't see anything changing (it actually seems to get worse). That's why I get so angry when people say that racism doesn't exist and everyone's equal now. Only people that aren't affected by it would say that.

  • I still believe that it is an issue of preference. This is because, I am 100% asian yet not the least interested in them physically (they can win me through their personality though) Their physical appearance is not so applealing for me.

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    • Preference is just the PC way of saying A is better than B

  • Honestly, there are a lot of people out there who are racist. And yes, I've noticed a lot of black guys like white chicks. Whatever. I've seen in my time as well a few men (white) who like all sorts of non-white girls. People are usually more confortable dating within their race though. There are many types of people out there. And the concept the black women are ugly, I've seen so many black stunners... oh well. I'm from Canada, if you're from the States things may be different, but that's my POV.

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    • Yeah I'm from the States. I want to move to Canada. Yes, there are a lot of beautiful black girls out there, but they have to be freakishly beautiful to even be considered on the same level as an average white girl, but I really don't care anymore. None of the guys where I live would date me, much less marry me (even though I'm a cute girl and have a decent personality).

    • You're right people are more comfortable dating within their own race, but if they did go outside of their race a black girl is always their least favorite.

    • I'm sorry to hear it's like that in your community :(

      I know you're worried and self-concious but honestly you want people who are intelligent and know how to appreciate real worth and beauty to pay attention to you anyway. If being black is a good way to better ward off the idiots, take it as a blessing.

  • Maybe just the circle of people you are reading about don't have any African American desire. I'm sure there is plenty of forums out there dedicated to how African American women are the the most beautiful. And plus it is the media ... what good does that really ever do?Everyone has different preference or attractions, it might not be just because of skin color in a lot of cases too. Many people have interracial struggles and biases as well... there are many reasons.

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  • i disagree with what you're trying to do, you cannot look to the internet to get the answers for that, some people are going to be even more cruel and blow your self esteem further, you ever wondered why Oprah and other famous people don't reply to critics, because it is not important. You need to visit sitesthat build self esteem, it seem you are looking in all the wrong places. No one has the authority to speak on which race is rough or cute gimme a break, some whites, Chinese , blacks all have their nice looking and ugly people. WHO CARES! a sad group of people will like you to care but you are wasting your time. YOU ARE WHAT EVER YOU FEEL! LOOK AT OPRAH, HALLE BERRY they don't give a sh*t they just live the life they were given!

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  • THE FOLLOWING IS A RESPONSE TO ANONYMOUS’S RESPONSE TO MY FIRST POST:

    We’ve been targeted since we were brought over here to be enslaved. People try to eliminate what they fear which is why they do everything in their power to eliminate us. Our history contains people who have fought against injustice and those in charge don’t like that. They hate us because historically, we’re a strong people and they know that we have the power to defeat injustice if we stuck together. Because of this knowledge many vices were introduced to our communities that we now use to eliminate ourselves. You see, they are just sitting back and laughing at us (figuratively speaking) while we parade around like buffoons, using the tools that they gave us to annihilate our race. They give us the labels as uneducated, promiscuous, lazy, nappy head, etc to make everyone including us believe that we are of lesser quality than our white counterparts. So when someone fits the stereotype, they are put under the spotlight. So a pregnant black girl is viewed as a loose sex-feign because of the jezebel stereotype; whereas, a pregnant Hispanic girl may not be focused on as much. Everyone is conditioned to hate us directly and indirectly. No one understands what black people face in this society which is why many of them get frustrated when the question of race arises. We live in a land built by us but a society that was constructed to defeat us and those benefitting from it expect us to “let it go” like the problem has been solved. Regardless of what people say, we are not given the same opportunities and those that we do have, we had to jump through 400 hoops to obtain. It is true that Maury’s show needs to be discontinued but making a mockery out of minorities is what makes the money so it will continue to be shown. Modern day minstrel shows which should also be removed from television is anything related to Flavor Flav, New York aka Janice the Muppet, For the Love of Ray J (even though that’s my god brother, I hate that show), the Cleveland Show, Rap videos that glamorize the ghetto and “the splash life” and the list goes on. The truth is, as long as black people continue this fight against each other and the desperate struggle to fit in with mainstream society by allowing themselves to be molded into what Anglo America wants them to be, we will continue to be pimped by this society. We should be able to be who we are and not let anyone else make us feel ashamed of it. We should be able to speak how we want, dress how we want, and act how we want etc because if I’m not mistaken, society is not whose judgment that matters. People need to learn to accept each other for who they are and not for what one thinks one should be.

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  • We are told what is and what is not beautiful. The media is sending out subliminal messages to the black community that we are ugly and less of a person than someone of European descent. Black women are portrayed as gold0diggers, jezebels and any other negative thing that you can think of. Black people in general are portrayed as uneducated, "ghetto" behaving hoodlums who speak slang and Ebonics. Look at Maury and his baby daddy-shows, any judge show, the news ,etc. These images, among other things, cause many of us to internalize these beliefs, in turn creating the deep rooted self-hate that is currently present in our community.I could go on forever, literally, but I'll stop here because I can feel myself getting out of control.

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    • You are so right, but some people are in denial. The Maury show needs to be discontinued. There are also a lot of negative presented in the media that don't show white women in a favorable light but why do you think black women get picked on the most? Mexican teens get pregnant at a higher rate than black teens but it seems like the media wants to pick out black teens more for doing that.

    • I?m going to answer your question in a new reply because the comment section is too short for what I have to say.

  • I think there is a book by Toni Morrison about this... Something like the Bluest Eye is the name of it. I haven't read it and I'm hoping to definitely this summer.

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  • Men are Taught what is attractive. The media does not portray black women in a positive light, and has never done so.

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    • Hmm...I guess you're right.

    • Show All
    • Many of the answerers gave good advice but nothing that I could use or didn't already know (I don't even think I wanted advice, just an answer for all this madness). I think I'm just going to not even think about guys. It's not worth it.

    • Hey, if you're around, we were just talking about your question in the live chat. Come join us. lol

  • I am a girl, so I don't know why men don't seem to like black women, but I would like to tell a story about something that happened in high school to me. I was raised to judge each individual individually to decide whether or not they were a worthwhile person. I was raised that there is no difference between people with different color skin, we just have different color skin, that's all. I was also raised to have no clue that there was any difference between religions. Different people believe different things is what my mom used to tell me, and that whatever works for you is what you should believe.

    One day in school when I was a junior, we were doing some kind of election for something. There were 4 girls up for election. Two white girls, a mexican girl, and a black girl. The black girl just happened to be one of the sweetest friendliest people ever, and was pretty much liked by every single person in the school, so we all knew she was going to win. Everyone had been asking everyone who they voted for all day long...yeah yeah yeah, we weren't supposed to and blah blah blah, but we did anyway. I had asked all my friends already, and we had all voted for Sharifa. EVERYONE I asked had voted for her. So I asked the girl who sat in front of me in math class who she voted for, and when she said Sharifa, I smiled and said "that's what I thought". I was about to add that there was pretty much no way she was going to lose because we all like her so much when this girl stood up and screamed at me for being a rascist bitch, and challenged me to fight right there in the classroom. I had no freakin clue what she was talking about until she screamed at me some more about "that's what you thought huh? that's what you thought because I'm black I'm gonna vote for the black girl?" That wasn't what I meant at all...Sharifa was my friend. I thought she would vote for her because we all did, not because she was black. It actually still hurts my feelings when I think about how angry she got and what she thought I meant. Unfortunately, that is the type of thing that is shown about black women in the media. Black women always get portrayed as "strong" and "powerful" they are never "sweet" or "the girl next door". The media promotes this view of strong powerful black women and I think lots of men get that confused with cold and dominating. Men are intimidated by women that could kick their ass, and that is how black women in the media are portrayed. I don't know why that is, but that is what I have seen. I myself am white, and am not particularly attracted to white men at all. I prefer Asian men...I don't know why but to me, they are more handsome than other men. I don't know if that answers anything you asked, but I think so.

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  • The posts you're seeing online about black women being unattractive are from people with extreme views who feel strongly enough about the matter to broadcast their opinions. The people who don't feel as strongly won't feel the need to post such things, which means you're rarely ever getting their side of the argument.

    Plus, there are a lot of negative stereotypes about black women. I've heard plenty of people (including black women) say that black women have attitudes, and white women are more submissive--that's an insult to women of both races. The media doesn't do much to stop the stereotypes either.

    But I'm white, and I live in a predominantly black area. I know plenty of really attractive black girls, and plenty who are in relationships. When I was in high school, the white kids mostly dated people from outside of school or each other since no one else really showed interest. In cases like that and the one you described at your school, I think it's a matter of being in the minority, and the minority just happens to be a particular race.

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  • I'm a black female and I live in a really multi culturual city still I mainly date white guys not sure why I'm just more attracted to them. When I meet guys they usually are like I've never been with a black girl before. I find it less common now that I'm older. The ratio of good looking black girls or athelic in size is few and far between where I come from. I think that if you are a black and female you have to keep up with being thin and being pretty. that's just how I see things here.

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    • I'm pretty thin. Well I'd like to think I'm average in body size, but I'm probably considered very thin in the black community. What do you mean by being "pretty" though? What's pretty for a black girl? Why do black girls have to be gorgeous to be considered equally as pretty as an average non=black girl. It doesn't matter if I let myself go and get fat, guys aren't going to like me anyway because I'm black.

    • Girl have to ask, why do you think you have to be thin??? That really is the whole beauty thing again. I've always been attracted to black females more ( WAY MORE ) then any orther woman, and believe me girl its not the thin women that sends me CRAZY ( SO SEXY ). I kow a lot of guys that think the same has me, and a lot of white guys too. What I'm trying to say is that there's TONS & TONS of guys out there that love a curvy woman, and I mean LOVE!!!!! Love all sorts of women!!

  • There not Asians are

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    • Darn, that sucks...I'm half black half asian. Now I feel even worse.

    • Just be happy with who you are and you'll be desired by anyone you want. Don't worry about being black or asian or w/e. Have confidence that's all a girl needs

    • lol not true some westerners go to japan just to screw Asian girls cx

  • There are attractive black woman and unattractive white women. I think black women get a lot of BS put on them from the way media portrays African American women. Like look and Beyonce and Tyra Banks. Yes both are beautiful black women but both have very white features and work very hard to obtain that type of look. Then you have a beautiful black woman like Alex Wek ( a runway model) who is straight out of Africa and one of the most strikingly beautiful women I have ever seen IMO. I think the media takes so many beautiful black women and tries to fit them into a white mold. Therefore other black women that don't look white enough question their beauty because of it. I have many black friends that are drop-dead gorgeous and a lot of them don't realize it because they feel like they don't fit societies standards. I even have a half and half friend that people do double takes at and she still straightens her beautiful curly hair and wears blue contacts to cover her honey colored eyes. I just don't get it. The world is just messed up today. I love people who look unique and different. I think women just have it bad no matter what with all the pressure put on us. Black women have it even worse because of stereotypes place on them and the pressure to look white. Again though, black woman are just as beautiful as white woman, as are Hispanics and every race in between. Everyone race has beautiful and unique features and needs to embrace them not matter what pressures society puts on them.

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    • Beyonce & tyra don't have "white features".

      Full lips. Nice butts. Curves.

      Where are the white features you speak of in these woman?

      They seem to have positive attitudes with nice bodies.

      You may not have meant it the way I'm taking it, but that was kind of racist.

      I agree that the media puts a strain on some features, but what makes them features of white females?

      Because the majority of white females don't even have these features.

      Sincerely,

      A Loving Black Man

    • Show All
    • So you'd argue that by her getting a nose job, which many blacks don't often do, is her attempting to "look" more white? And this is factual information?

      Oh I get it, she doesn't want to enhance her looks, she wants to be more white?

      So some how you feel she wants a "whiter" nose?

      She's not trying to meet the mold of "white", but rather perfection.

      White women don't have perfect noses. That's why the are always getting a nose job. Its not a white feature.

      Sincerely,

      A Loving Black Man

    • Yer beyonce has completely changed and looks more "white" or "superficial" : http://news.makemeheal.com/images/beyonce-plastic-surgery3.jpg

  • The world has become an awful sh*t show in some aspects and you shouldn't let it get to you...trust me. I'm african and I have heard it all. Dark skin just has a baddd rap. Media and overall ignorance is to blame.I think it's awful to watch shows( that project a very stereotypical black character)and then base your opinions of AAs off of that. Just like it's ignorant to live in a small town and say,"The couple of black people I came across had attitudes and now I'm just not attracted to black girls. Personalities are based on so many factors..environment,life experiences etc..and that goes for everyone of every race. Then you have those who talk about the way we LOOK. They don't like our boobs,butts,noses,skin color etc. Fine.Thats your preference. But the irony is

    natural dark skin gets a thumbs down,meanwhile folks are roasting in the sun to become DARKER. Only to know that their skin is going to become permanently damaged as they age but who cares eh? Folks are flocking to the doc to get collagen injections to make their lip larger! Would ya look at that?! Butt implants,Boob implants etc. Things that a lot of dark women naturally have,others covet and they buy it. But because of our dark skin,we aren't necessarily acknowledged for a lot of positive attributes..physically or otherwise. Enough with the superficial physical aspect,i just had to address it. Racism/prejudice is unfortunately buried deep into the Americas soil. Dark skin has always been thought of as the "lesser". But other parts of the world is different...more receptive even. It's unfortunate that some folks are using this forum to express their racism and predjudices,but at least they are being honest. I say,learn to love every inch of you! You are Gods creation so you are beautiful.

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  • I don't think they're the least desirable.

    There are pretty ones and there are less pretty ones,

    and it's the same with every race.

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  • I am a white female and I think that a lot of black women are absolutely gorgeous... the thing is why they don't have a long married relationship is because black women are very strong a very independent they won't stay around and put up with any bodys shit... ya know... And I mean that as the highest compliment... that is an excellent thing... very excellent thing... I would be building my self esteem on that you are a very strong beautiful black woman and you know what you want and you won't settle for less or let someone take advantage of you on the way to getting what you want. Black women are the mentally and emotionally strongest women I know and I envy them for that! You should feel very blessed... the right man will come along I promise some man down the road will worship you for your values and your bluntness and independentness...

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