Girl next door vs. the hottie.. how much does looks matter?

[lorelai87]

If you knew one of these two girls was interested in you, who would you go for?

1. Girl next door- she's cute but not gorgeous. You both have a lot in common.

2. The hottie- flawless, with big boobs, low cut shirt etc. But she's not really interested in the same stuff and kind of high maintenance.

[GoodManDave]

Usually, the girl next door.

If we had the options you describe; The girl next door, average, someone who has a lot in common with me; vs the gorgeous bimbo who's high maitenance, maybe a bit shallow, etc; that'd be an easy decision for me.

But it's not ALWAYS like that.

Lets face it, if the hottie is also a potential girl next door, it can make the decision frustrating.

I'm in one of these situations myself. I know this gorgeous girl/woman, a crush of mine, who we'll call "brown eyes." She's more "maxim hottie" in looks.

She seems kind enough, though admitedly, I've been fooled in the past.

But it's not just the physical appearance that I'm looking at here, it's that when we HAVE had conversations (only a few), it's seemed like we would have a lot in common.

Unfortunately, she isn't willing to give me a chance, probably based on my looks. She's totally not interested, probably based on my looks, but I don't think of her as a shallow person.

On the other hand, I have this awesome blue eyed girl/woman who's not "maxim" looks. Some would say she's average in fact, but I think she's beautiful. I think we have a lot in common. And I respect her, as I do with brown eyes.



She makes me feel this sweet nervous little feeling when I see her. I just want to give her a hug hug when I see her. "Blue eyes" makes my face light up - just as "Brown eyes" does.

I think that with blue eyes, the feelings of shyness are more on personality and how I feel when I'm around her than brown eyes. Brown eyes, I think I'm more shy because I feel like she should be shunning me in an immature high school kind of way.

If brown eyes were to suddenly want to go out with me, I'd have a tough decision on my hands, because both seem like really cool women. Ultimately, though, I think that personality would win out. You know, who I clicked more with than physical appearance, but if I went with physical appearance, it wouldn't be just because of the shallow side of me, but because she's gorgeous AND has a faithful heart AND treats me with love and respect AND has those great qualities.

The question is also whether or not either is truly kind, or if it's just for show; or if both are kind.

I'm not going to chase after someone whoever, who isn't interested, and isn't showing any interest.

Though, I suppose it wouldn't matter either if neither one was interested, which is usually what happens in my case.

[Dragonblood21]

The first one, I don't even have to give this thought.

I am not attracted to "hotties". Someone being flawless in appearance to me is already flawed, as there is no perfection there. Big boobs I can care less about. And I hate it when girls dress to show off skin instead of showing off who they are.

In fact, I go for the girls who are cute and aren't "hotties" before even knowing either of them, simply because I know I'll probably get along better with them. In fact, in the situation at work I am in right now, that's exactly what I did. There are a few hot girls where I work, but what did I do? I made the effort to know the girl that had those eyes that drew me in like nothing else. The girl that didn't put an emphasis on her figure, and dressed in casual clothing. Why? Because I found her interesting, that's all that mattered to me.

[lorelai87]

That is so nice to hear. I'm more of the girl next door so it's nice to see that guys actually give us a chance. I just haven't found the right guy yet I guess. :) You're going to make some girl very happy.

[Dragonblood21]

Thanks ^-^'''. To be completely honest, guys have a very simalar feeling as well. I feel all the time I'm never really given a chance and that some other guy is always going to be the one my crush thinks about, not me. Whether it be they are falling for the jerk instead of the nice guy, or maybe it's they are falling for the more attractive guy, I don't know but it certainly feels like me, and other nice guys just aren't given a chance either. Thanks though, you made me feel better.

[lorelai87]

No problem at all. You took the words right out of my mouth. I often feel like the decent people are always too far away or I meet them online (like you) but it seems when it comes to people I come in direct contact like that, it just isn't that way. They seem to like the girls who are high maintenance or treat them horribly. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. I look for personality then the attractiveness factor kicks in. I always though that was a good quality. guess not

[Dragonblood21]

I personally have a bit of an opposite effect. I'm initially attracted to someone by looks, and something about them gets me to want to know them. But once I find that their personality is completely not what I'm looking for, I'm repelled away. You aren't doing anything wrong really, it's just the way some guys are. I like to think that I'm just unfortunate, and I keep running into cruddy situations. Maybe if we both stick it out, someone will be there. Only time tells really.

[lorelai87]

Well I mean I won't lie. If someone's good looking I don't mind but usually it's all about personality. I think that's why I like talking to people on the internet so much. You get to really see people for who they are. But I do have a weakness for emo and scene guys. That's my downfall. lol And you're not unfortunate, but I know how that is to feel like that. I do too. But just to let you know, you have definitely made me feel better. :) It's the honesty. Have that with any girl and their putty.

[Anonymous]

if they have no chance with #2 then they would go for #1. or they would date #1 if they are into relationships and hook up with #2

[jbone79]

Well, I'm the guy next door, so I'm going for the girl next door. I would have to say in all fairness if a woman has big boobs then that does not make her flawless or high maintenece. I am firm believer that boobies hold magical powers to slow down time and space and to cause car accidents, but that is all boobies, not just the the big boobie-zilla super sized boobs.

What really makes the difference here is "high maintenence". I'm going to go out on limb here and say something very bold.

People become high maintenece because they have for far too long have had others play to their vanity. If everyone worked on their self esteem, "high maintenece" people would not exist. I know that will never happen in reality, but that explanation is both my evaluation of the root of the problem and a solution to such. To me high maintenece implies arrogance. If there is one character quality I hate, it is arrogance. So with that being said, the girl next door has me at hello.

The las thing I will say about this is the inerest people have. I don't care if I don't have all the same interests as a anoter person, in fact I like that. It allows me to learn new things about other people. It's why latin women love my red headed ass. Because I can dance a little salsa and I can make leche flan. That's nothing spectacular, but it was a great chance to learn about others. I hope this helps.

P.S. I know others have commented on your photo, I will agree with them. Your one hot girl next door! Say hello to a 10! - j

[aadenyhchan]

Probably the second one. But I've never found someone who was into the same things as me all that attractive. I'm a real left brain thinker, everything has to be rational to me. But I am a sucker for girls who use the right. Like artists, if a girl is artistic, that's it for me. You win, ball and chain me. And I like rap music and I love girls who like rock. If she's the opposite of me, then I feel like she completes me. But cute and hot are just a matter of taste.

Some guys I know only date hot girls while others only date cute girls. Some guy told me the other day "cute is better" and I was like "uh, except it's not". It was a pointless twenty minute conversation. Looks are definitely more important to guys than girls, but it's still not game over if he doesn't think you're the hottest girl ever. Like me, I normally only want hot girls, but this cute one who is brash as hell has got me thinking about her nonstop.

So either girl can score the guy, we aren't robots. We don't like one thing and then dislike everything else. I love thin Mischa Barton type girls, but I also love them with a little curvyaceousness (that's right, I just made up a word). It depends if you're what we want. If you are, nothing else will matter. Guaranteed.

[Littletad]

If judging by your avatar picture is "girl next door", then yeah she would win every time.

Big boobs are nice, but they aren't everything. A low cut shirt says she's too desperate for attention or too over confident. And high maintenance is never attractive, especially when it's over done.

[lorelai87]

Awww. thanks. You're too sweet! :-) Looking from all of these responses, seems like there are more decent guys out there then I thought.

[WeaponZero]

Even if you didn't go into into detail about the negative aspects of "The hottie", I would still choose the "Girl next door". The hottie is nice to look at but that's about it. But with the Girl next door, it's like there's a special quality about her that was made specifically for you. There's a uniqueness to her that makes her stick out from all the others in a way that not even The hottie does, in a way that speaks specifically to you and you alone, and it makes you feel special.

[lorelai87]

That's refreshing that there are guys out there who go for more than just looks. :)

[temptationfalls]

that actually happened to me almost a year ago. I was talking to a punk rocker chick who was a bombshell babe but I couldn't really carry on a conversation with her and I knew that she liked me. On the other hand There was a different girl at my school that I could talk to for hours and was cute but not "OMG SHE'S FREAKIN HOT". I ended up getting with the girl from school and a year later we're still together and I'm whipped xD

[That-Guy]

1. attractive and we get along.

2. Hot but we don't get along.

Question's a bit skewed.. I'd probably try to bang the 2nd girl while I try to date girl 1.

[lorelai87]

Well, it seems like a lot of guys go for the second girl. So I wanted to know truthfully what a guy would prefer. It was meant to be skewed because a lot of guys I know go for the hot chick even though the one that's not as hot has more personality.

[That-Guy]

Are we talking about high school or out of it? In high school, all I wanted was a hot girlfriend so that it elevated my "cool status." I was so worried about what everyone thought about me so I'd stay with a girl regardless of how much I actually liked her.

As you get older, hot girls will realize they are boring once guys realize what a pain in the ass they are. it'll all balance out.

[lorelai87]

Nope. College. Well I'm 21. So a lot of my friends age 21-25 still seem focused on the hotness factor of a girl. While I seem to attract guys in their 30s. Now I don't think I'm ugly by any means, I just don't get why I attract such older guys. My last boyfriend was 28. I guess the older a guy gets, the more personality comes into factor.

[That-Guy]

It's the same pattern we see in girls when we say "why do girls always go for the asshole?"

Some girls will continue this mind set longer than others.

Some guys will still want that hot cheerleader long into their 30's.

No matter how much personality you have (how many older friends you hang with and how mature you are told for your age), if a 28 year old is connecting with a 21 year old's maturity level. Somewhere along the lines he fell far behind.

If personality came into facter, th

[lorelai87]

True. I guess that does tell me something. Truth be told, he didn't have much maturity now that I think of it. hmmm...

[Hercules]

I'd go for the one I like more, and I wouldn't know until I met both of them.

[That-Guy]

Ding ding ding

[Hercules]

Hahaha thank you.

[lorelai87]

I meant if you had met them and knew you had more common with the first but the second was very attractive. Because like I've said before, a lot of my friends go for the hottie even though that's about all she has to offer. Then they break up with her later because she's so high maintenance.

[Hercules]

I think I have to be attracted to a girl somewhat for me to really think the relationship will work, but I'd never date a girl just because she was "hot". Going for hot girls usually means wanting a one night stand.

[aidsleen]

hotties are usually the most flawed they think they're top shit and are too good for all guys and end up with none cos they all lose interest lol

Definately # 1

[metaldave20]

def. the girl next door, we may like the big boobed makeuped hottie, but in the end its always the cute nice one that wed rather go with

[MaxPrime]

girl next door hands down, in the end babe looks never TRULY matter, we want someone to enjoy life with not just look at.

[Thorzilla]

I like hot girls, but I love a girl with a great personality. That's just me. Finding one with both is a treasure to behold.

[808girl]

Well from my point of view most guys are shallow they go for looks rather than personality.

[benjammin09]

Wow, this is so easy #1, I mean I think almost every guy wants that

[mikeythetree]

Number one, having stuff in common, and being cute is near ideal

[interst8eight]

I'd go for #1 every time.

[glitterz]

THANK YOU!!! seriously <3 why can't more people "go for #1 all the time"?

[ekspain]

i believe, both.

[Anonymous]

#1.