Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How do I help her prepare for the first time? (sex)

OK so kinda embarrassed maybe, I don't know if I should be. My penis is 8" and I heard that I am big but I am a virgin and so is my girlfriend and 2 fingers sometimes hurts her so I only do 1 when fingering, also I heard if you go to deep it hurts. Is it possible that my penis will hurt her or damage her when we have sex? We have talked about it and tried to get her used to 2 fingers but it won't work. We're a while off sex now cos she's not ready and I'm definitely not, but still just wondered are there any other ways I could prepare her for taking that size. She is extremely sensitive to pain and I am the first guy she ever trusted to touch her sexually and since then we have done lots and she is my first too (sexually) and I love her and would not have sex until we are having kids if I needed to. Please can someone help. She told me she wants to have sex but not yet and I was surprised she asked first to be honest but we tell each other everything and it's perfect. I'm not asking anything to do with time or readiness or anything like that. We can work that out ourselves. I just want to know if my "big" penis will hurt her. I have used 2 fingers as far as possible before and no bleeding and she uses tampons so am guessing hymen is gone if your wondering
Updates:
+1 y
k we did it and did it like 5 times that day but still hurts her :( so gonna keep trying only once a day for a week and should stop soon we used "extra safe" condoms and some lube and lube is good not just for sex lol ;P thanks for the help :)
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you are completely adorable! How sweet that you are this concerned about your girlfriend. And amazingly respectable that you know that you are not ready for sex either and aren't pushing her! I hope she knows that she's got a great guy.

    Being 8" is pretty long and you may not be able to fully enter her for the first few times. But more importantly is your girth (size around penis) as this is what will really hurt the most the first couple of times because you will be stretching her. That's why she has difficulty with 2 fingers as well.

    One of the most important things for a women is foreplay. We need you to get us super worked up so that we loosen up and are able to take you in easier. Focus on all he other parts of her body - take it slow and show her how much each part of her is amazing. Going straight for a women's G-spot is the worst thing for a girl - it's too fast and actually a turn off...and sort of shows how little a guy knows about sex and women.

    But take your time your young and there's no need to dive in and lose your virginity just for the sake of losing it. Wait until you're both ready so that years later you'll be able to look back and remember the moment in time fondly.

    Again - I am super impressed with your attitude about this! You're fabulous!

    • Lol really it's just something I wondered cos was makin me worry when I put 2 fingers I do lots of foreplay if we were to anyway now I never go straight in cos I can actually feel it's tight I always make sure she is literally soaking before I would do it in case it hurts lol sometimes dripping literally before I put fingers up so would do same for sex and how do I measure the girth? just with one of them like flat stringy ruler things lol

  • This is actually so nice to hear that you care so much about your girlfriends wellfare :)

    A majority of boys seem to have this 'screw it, I just want some action' attitude.

    Well the best advice I can give you, is that just keep trying.

    There's not much you can do if she's hurting, but just make sure she's properly lubricated before you try two fingers or more.

    Thats where things often go wrong as people can underestimate how nerve racking things can be. Just keep trying until you and her both feel like it's time to take the next step.

    When you can fit two fingers or more..Maybe you should start to think about the next step.

    Sex hurting for the girl, is overated..yeah it might hurt a little but it's not extremely painfull.

    Especially is she uses tampons..that makes it a lot easier I'm guessing.

    Hope that helped.

    • I disagree about the pain thing. It can be very painful. Depends how relaxed/turned on you are

    • Overrated? it completely varies for girl to girl. completely. it hurt ALOT for me and I'm not exaggerrating.

  • I agree with the last comment about foreplay. NOTHING will make sex easier than just being in the mood! And by being in the mood, you can't be worried or anxious about how bad it's going to hurt. The more turned on she is, the more relaxed her muscles "down there" will be. She will also probably get "wetter" too, which is also key for easy penetration. What works for me is when my boyfriend kisses me and caresses me everywhere EXCEPT down there. By then I'd be so turned on that penetration is a snap LOL.

    And to be honest, I couldn't take two fingers until AFTER I lost my virginity, so trying to squeeze in as many fingers as you can won't work. You can't exactly "train" a vagina to be able to take a large penis. Well, unless she uses a vibrator or dildo first. But even then her body can't tell the difference between the fake and the real thing!

Most Helpful Guys

  • Go slow, use lube, be willing to stop and try again later if need be. No need to rush it, but it probably will hurt the first few times (might be uncomfortable for you too). If she goes to her OB/GYN, her doctor can give her a device that is designed to gradually stretch the vagina in preparation for sex. I have a number of friends (or friends of my wife) who have gone this route in preparation for their wedding night.

  • I haven't dealt with virgins before... I can't ehlp much but I can tell you that lubricant helps, and that if she's on top she will be able to control how it goes in and what not... Good luck man :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Hun, the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn more about foreplay, the more foreplay you guys have, the better chance of it being easy the first time. She will more than likely be able to accomodate you if there is at least a few hours of foreplay... look it up, find suggestions for foreplay, see if she is not really ready even a finger can hurt. Most guys assume going for the vagina or breasts is foreplay, it is not... the way you talk to her, lots of touching kissing, and foreplay can even start the day before.. do look it up hun.. it will help.

  • just take it slowly like maybe put it in like the "tip" and see if that's ookay, and then go a little further each time.

  • i recommend to contuine foreplay to help her some but only if she wants you to.. when sex does happens LISTEN TO HER! if it hurts stop ( you won't have a problem thou because you are worried about her already and you have not even had sex) its a painful process for a girl just give her some times... try finding other things that will turn her on too... when "excited" the body releases a hormone ( can't think of the name!) and sometimes that hormone acts as a natural pain reliever and that will help her too... its going to be difficult for her went it comes time... her figure might play a role when it comes to pleasing her... if her hips are smaller there is a chance her female organs are lower which means you won't have to use as much of your self because its to pain ful... also try different positions per her comfort even during fore play

    hope this helps

    ps.. her using a tampon has nothing to do with anything.. the tampon does not go far enough up the canal to break the hymen

  • I think you are the nicest guy... I really hoped this worked out for you!

  • Oh love you are so sweet :) just take it very slow and get her really wet first. Focus on loving her and make her feel sexy, that helps us to... You know, open up ;)

  • KY jelly would work as a lubricant. (You can apply it to your penis and you can also apply it to the walls of her vagina). Any type of lubricant make sure it is water based though I would suggest the KY jelly because honestly I was in that situation. For your first time it may help is she is on top because if it does still hurt even with the lubricant she will at least have control. I think the fingering does help too. (The lubricant can also be applied to a condom but only apply WATER BASED lubricants to condoms and not oil based as the will damage the condom). If and when you do have sex she'll may and probably bleed. I would also say that I see that your under 18 and even though I know you believe you are ready but I would say that you may want to wait on your first time having sex.. You are young and you do have the whole rest of your lives.

  • hey I may be aLittle bit diff here but I agree with what's already been said but will add try taking a fresh shower , cutting and filing your nails and brushing your teeth then put on some smell good. youd be suprised how many guys don't do this stuff for there women. youl,l be fine just watch her face and ease off if you think that your hurting her to much, go slow, and good luck

    • All that stuff you just said I do everyday anyway because it's called hygeine! and this answer sucked balls imo

    • Haha good for you youd be suprised how manny don't even brush there teeth now days its sad

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