How to help my girlfriend with her low self-esteem?

[aventaes]

Look my current girlfriend is this really fun, absolutely gorgeous, intelligent, thoughtful, sweet, sexy, ... (I can keep doing this for while) girl but for some reason she doesn't feel all that good about herself. She knows I love her, that I'm proud to have her as my girlfriend and that I consider her all those things I said above.

So how can I help her?

What can I do for her so she thinks of herself the way I think of her?

[LJHam]

Changing low self esteem unfortunately has to come from within. While you want to help by complimenting her, in the end what's going to happen is her self worth is going to be based on what you think her worth is. If you happen to reject her in any way, she could end up devastated. She needs to change her own opinion about herself, see herself for the great person she is all by herself. I only say this because I've had a big problem with low self esteem myself all my life and often found myself getting so attached to guys because they were the only who made me feel good, I couldn't make myself feel good alone. I've been listening to hypnosis mp3s and I believe it helps. Low self esteem comes from negative internal messages that we acquired during childhood. The messages get rooted in our subconscious. Hypnosis gets through to the subconscious and slowly changes those negative beliefs about ourselves to positive ones. If you want to help, go to this site - hypnosisaudio.com - and under Products look at the Hypnosis CDs, mp3s, and Downloads. You'll see one specifically for self esteem. It's what I've been using and I recommend it.

[Shinygirl]

Remind her. If you find yourself thinking "Damn she looks good!" say "Damn you look good!". If she knows you think these things about her, it already makes her feel good. But if she realized how often you think these things, it will make her feel like a million bucks. And if your not going to be around for some reason, hide her a little note somewhere she will find it with a compliment. It will work it's magic.

[aventaes]

I do that and I will keep on doing it I was already thinking of leaving a note in her purse with a compliment.

i Just hope she doesn't check this acount and wel spoil the surprize for herself :s. She prob forgot the pasword so I'm good I think :p.

[Shinygirl]

That's so sweet! Low self-esteem or not, she's lucky to have you.

[aventaes]

Thanx for the compliment x.

[Shinygirl]

No problem :)

[AslinnNight]

my boyfriend was in the same position as you for a long long time. Its been about 5 years and my self - esteem is just starting to rise a little. It's an extremely hard thing to get over when every image of beauty they see is almost impossible to accomplish.

For example.

What I think of myself: I'm fat there's no two ways around it, I feel like I look fat and it doesn't really bother me, it bothers me the way other people see it. I absolutely hate my eye color I always say it reminds me of dog sh*t. I know I'm smart but I feel like I can be smarter. I rarely ever feel pretty. This list goes on.

What he thinks of me: I'm amazing, smart. funny. sexy, sweet, beautiful, perfect the way I am.

And he's been telling me for FIVE years...and I've only just begun to believe him. I believe he thinks I'm all those things,but I will most likely never believe I'm any of those.

[aventaes]

Yeah you sound like my girlfriend alright :p

But yeah she's young nevah has been in relationship and she has a troubled past. So igues there's hope thank you.

[LuvJamesDeen]

You can point everything you noted in this question out to her. You don't have to say these things all the time, but sometimes it's nice to get a compliment. Although, if your girlfiend is insecure, only she can change that. Many women are insecure for many reasons. I used to be insecure, until I faced myself in the mirror & made myself see that I really was not that bad. If you want to try to help her, maybe get her a book about overcoming insecurities. Tell her you want her to feel good about herself.

[aventaes]

I'd do anything for her so I'll do my best and I'll try talk to her about it. I do want her to feel good about herself obviously I wouldn't have posted this question otherwize. :)

[Anonymous]

She must been through some bad experiences that makes she feels this way.Gorgeous girl can has low self esteem as well.Guide her and make she feels like she is appreciated.Avoid compliment other girls when she is with you.Be with her when she needs you and tell her some positive things.Keep compliment her in a proper way.If she makes some mistakes,correct her with appropriate example.

[aventaes]

she has been trough some crap indeed :s

And thanks for the advice :).

[Opinion Owner]

Welcome:)

[cathysmith07]

Encourage her everyday, give her compliments. Make her feel that she's important and I guess when she think of it she will realized how blessed she are.

[aventaes]

Thanx :)

[friendofthefallen]

Why couldn't it be me you're talking about?! WHY?! What did she ever do to you to deserve your affection, kindness and respect?! And I got people who used me for my kindness!? Took advantage of my emotional vulnerability

[aventaes]

Thanx for the compliment. And wel things just happened between me and her and I want to be a good boyfriend so I do my best to look after her. We broke up though, it was the right choice.