Why are girls so extremely attracted to guys that don't care about what other people think about them?

[Anonymous]

Guys that have a "don't give a f***" attitude, mindset, people that never seek approval from others, they live their life for themselves, not for others, examples are "stop letting women have so much power over you..and how you feel about yourself. Get your self worth and reassurance from your family and friends..not women. Figure out who you are...and establish your own self confidence..that nobody can challenge or take from you. Have confidence in who you are..what you have done...where you are going..and what you will do in the future."

"As for jumping in a relationship, try to get to the point where you don't validate yourself through a girlfriend, they kick ass, but you have all you need to be happy in yourself man."

“When you are happy and content with what and who you are, the women will come."

"Bad boys do not NEED attention from the woman they are with. They want it while at the same time they can live without it"

"Bad boys have an "I don't care" attitude, and they really don't care. They have experienced the triumph of tragedy in life on a level that far surpasses that of a good boy, and don't need a woman to validate their existence in any way."

"They love guys who are comfortable in their own skin and confident with who they are. "

Seriously, it makes me really angry, pisses me off, that girls, women have these standards, requirements, etc. I hate it, why are us guys always judged on our character, or almost all the time, our attitude, mindset, personality, confidence, since confidence is a mental thing, I hate how being a push-over, doormat, letting people walk over you is a thousand, million, billion, trillion times worse if you are a guy, most guys don't care if a girl is like that however it always matters to a girl if a guy is like that even if the guy looks like Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Channing Tatum, Taylor Lautner, Cristiano Ronaldo, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Tom Brady, or a GQ Model, if he exhibits any of the typical "nice-guy" behavior's, he will get rejected instantly.

Updates

+1 y

Basically, us guys have to stand out from other guys, girls don't have to stand out from other girls, Women don't love Bad Boys per se. They love men who love life and are unapologetic about it. Women love rock musicians because they have fun. They love men with motorcycles because they're fun. They love men who sense life's possibilities because they're fun. They love men who see every freaking day as a potential adventure because they're fun. In other words, see all the work we guys have to do

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+1 y

"In other words, they love men who have some kind of guiding passion and aren't terrified of their shadows. The aforementioned men who paint dungeons and dragons figurines on their Saturday nights are not fun." It's like it always has to come down to a guy's character, attitude, mindset, his way of talking, conversations, social-skills, body-language, that determine his success with girls, that what girls use to judge him if he is boyfriend material or not, not fair at all.

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+1 y

why do I have this few answers!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[shelbyr1721]

Obviously I’m about five years too late, but I’m still going to add my two cents. I think, for one, using all-inclusive terms is unfair. “Always,” “every,” “never” and such don’t work because, truly, I find it hard to think of more than one thing that applies to every person here on Earth. There are certainly girls that make decisions based purely on first-impressions and there are certainly girls who, for whatever reason, cannot be understanding of the fact that men are just like us in many areas. Almost everybody has insecurities. In my opinion, if you don’t have a single insecurity, you probably should. That sounds crappy and I don’t mean being confident is bad. Confidence can, indeed, be really attractive in both genders.. but I certainly don’t expect complete confidence in a man and, with my most recent boyfriend, there were honestly times when I wish he cared a bit more about what other people thought.

[shelbyr1721]

I can’t speak for every woman, but I can speak for myself. I need a man who cares about what other people think (to a certain extent) and what I think. I like a man who won’t make a complete fool of himself and a man that won’t make a total ass of himself. If you don’t give a crap about whatever other people think, you’re certainly not the man for me. Even so, there are areas where I want my man to ignore what other people think or say and listen to me and care about what I think and what I have to say. That said, I also want a man I can joke around with. Obviously jokes will be misunderstood sometimes, and I am 100% okay with apologizing. Even so, I don’t want a guy to take every time I tease him as an insult.

[shelbyr1721]

My last boyfriend didn’t give a crap about what other people thought, but was insecure about seemingly every little thing when it came to me. Even if I was backing him up, all while being honest (because I value honesty, he would take offense. His friends would always make fun of his acne and call him out on his lack of fashion sense. When he wanted my opinion on the latter after his friends commented on it, I said he didn’t necessarily have a fashion sense, but he certainly didn’t dress bad and him having (or not having) a nice sense of style didn’t matter all that much to me. He always seemed to want my honesty and I genuinely felt like I was being kind and standing up for him to his friends, but he was really upset with me.

[shelbyr1721]

Anyways, my point is: I think there needs to be a balance of both insecurity and the I-don’t-give-a-crap attitude. I think it’s good to care; I WANT somebody who cares. BUT, I do not want somebody who is insecure with me and me alone. That doesn’t mean I don’t want him to care.
I think with a lot of girls actually, we want to be that source of confidence for our man. I don’t want to be the sole reason for all of our man’s positive/negative emotions (I really don’t see that as healthy for a man or woman), but still I want to be able to help some of his insecurities. Insecurities are fine and honestly perfectly healthy, but only to a certain extent. Insecurities shouldn’t ruin a relationship.

[shelbyr1721]

My first boyfriend was insecure about plenty of things, but his inability to trust me because of those insecurities as well as his penis insecurity really messed us up. If your girlfriend has never given you a reason to mistrust her and has never been with another man and likes your penis size just fine? Don’t mess that up. She’ll be understanding and try to help, but only until you really make her feel like shit time and time again. Most girls don’t actually like feeling like shit, despite our often bad choice in guys. My last boyfriend was a great guy, and I mean a sweet, 4.0 GPA virgin kind of great guy, he was an honest-to-goodness goodie-two-shoes that I still love with my whole heart. Even so, we ended up arguing a couple of hours every week because almost ANY comment I made would set him off. Of course I won’t say I’m not at fault for anything.. but that kind of stuff really makes a girl feel like she’s not good enough, y’know?

[shelbyr1721]

If you constantly have to change for the person you love because of their insecurities, then something’s wrong. Even so, like I said before, I don’t want a guy who doesn’t give a shit. I first started falling for my last boyfriend when he actually listened to me. I’m the kind of person people talk over a lot and usually I’m the person stopping and listening to the people who are less acknowledged, so I don’t ever really have that kind of person there for me.. but just as my friends interrupted and went off on their own conversation and I was about to shut myself up, he asked what I was saying. I looked up and saw him focusing solely on me as all of our friends were in their own. He was the first man to ever be that person for me aside from my father. That’s the kind of thing that will really make me notice you.

[shelbyr1721]

So.. not every girl is instantly and solely drawn to the type of guy you talk about. My guy was the underdog-type. He didn’t paint dungeons and dragons figurines, but he played hours of Skyrim when he wasn’t working on his saltwater aquariums or talking to me. Even when he did talk to me, he went on about things I can’t even repeat. I honestly don’t remember lots of it I was just so lost, but he was so passionate about weird non-fiction books that no guy his age would even consider reading and that passion I found adorable. He’s not unattractive, but he’s certainly no Taylor Lautner or (my fifth grade crush) Orlando Bloom.

[shelbyr1721]

So.. despite being a class clown of sorts, he really is that “nice-guy” type in every way. He kind of is an emotional doormat when it comes to most everybody around him. He didn’t have to standout to me anymore than I have to standout to other guys. I think one of the biggest reasons for that is simply that it takes the right person. You know.. I had a chance with the Hollister model kind of guy at school and still chose my last boyfriend. Not every girl is going to look over guys like you. I feel as though I can promise you that.

[shelbyr1721]

I also feel like this response is way too long, especially for a response to a five-year-old post, but I think you deserved a response that required as much passion and time as I assume you put into your own post. I hope I covered enough of your question and areas of frustration/anger. I also hope things are much better for you now and that you found a woman who didn’t look over you and loves you just as you are.

[Anonymous]

life is never fair, that's why

[frustratedchump06]

because we males are the more disposable gender

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing. It's not just girls. Everyone wants what they can't get, and once they know they can get it they lose interest. That's why girls are attracted to douche bags and guys always want the girl that turns them down!

[Asker]

yeah but what pisses me off, is that what makes a guy a challenge to girls is almost always his behavior, but for a girl, it's just her looks mainly, not so much her behavior

[Opinion Owner]

yeah but there is nothing really wrong with that. Guys are into looks, but girls want someones they can "fix". I agree it's stupid, really.

[Asker]

which is why I think it's easier for girls because their behavior does not really matter in attracting a guy

[Opinion Owner]

yeah definitely! It's harder for guys to also have to put up with the girls always trying to fix them!

[frustratedchump06]

girls don't need confidence and they still can attract a guy

[Opinion Owner]

no but also since guys are all about looks (not that girls aren't) but like a girl can be , umm not the best looking... and be the best person ever but no guy will ever care.

[Asker]

i agree with him, it's easier to attract people with your looks than personality, because with looks, you don't have to say anything in order to get a persons attention or attract them, it just happens in an instant, however, with personality, social-skills, conversation-skills, you are more prone to mistakes

[Opinion Owner]

yeah 100% but also think about the fact that even though they won't admit it girls care way more about looks than personality. Just like guys they just feel stupid admitting it

[Asker]

girls care more about looks than personality?

[Anonymous]

tell me about it, not fair at all