Am I just a hookup or does he want something more?

2 weeks ago I hooked up with a guy I've been interested in for a while. All we did the first time was makeout. This past Saturday we hooked up again and ended up back in his room. Needless to say, more than making out went on. However, afterwards, he says, "Don't you think we should talk about this? What do you want from this?" I told him I'm not really sure, and he added, "Okay, because I don't want a relationship right now." (I think it might be because his last girlfriend had a mental breakdown at the end of the semester and freaked out on him.)

I'm confused if I'm just a hookup to him or not. After we were done, he held me for the longest time and we just kissed and made out for literally two hours. He was very into it, he put his hands all over me and wrapped his leg around mine. We talked a lot and he says he wants to get to know me. He talked about what he wants to do with his life, his major passions in life, his family, etc. He also mentioned he got extremely jealous when he saw me dancing with one of his friends earlier that night.

When we started to get tired, I asked him if I should go and he replied, "No, please, I'd love for you to stay.. we can sleep together." I had my head on his chest and he had his arm around me. At one point I moved and he woke up, kissed the top of my head, and said, "You're sweet."

Another time that night we were sleeping in the spooning position and every time we'd move like that he'd put his hand on my side or he'd hold my hand and kiss my neck gently before going back to sleep. I just don't see how he can treat me like that but only want a hookup.

He was gentle, sweet, passionate, and never forced anything on me. Before we got too far into things, he stopped, looked me in the eyes and asked if I was sure about what I wanted to do. There was no pressure or rushed feelings between the two of us. I never felt like he was begging for anything or making me do something I wasn't comfortable with.

Any advice? I truly like him and would love to have/know there's something more than just this hook up with him! I told myself I wouldn't get attached to a guy I'd hooked up wtih, but the way he acted made me completely reconsider my feelings and now I can't help but feel something for him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds to me like right now he was pretty black and white, right now he just want's friends with benefits ;). Although the cuddeling and stuff means he might want more eventually if you stick with it, and him and show him your not gonna be that girl and freak on him and run away. Although it could mean, that he just wants to be a very close friend, have somebody there for him too, a shoulder a friend, some sex from time to time, and to hangout and have fun, but doesn't want to enter a realationship, because he's afraid of the rejection kinda sorta or what I mean is of breaking up. He doesn't wana ruin what he has, he's just thankfull he has what he does with you, and he's greatfull. He just wanted to know what you wanted, and be straight with you from the git go on his want's and needs so you didn't Expect anything more perhaps. Or because you said your not sure. He became unsure. No man wants to be with a "girl" that is unsure of herself and what she wants that's a ticking time bomb. Atleast from expecience as a guy that's what I've learned and why I get the deer in the headlamp look and get scared away when ever a girl says those words to me. So you know him best look him and apply what I've given you here and see for yourself which it is, in time you'll know which of the things I've told you it is. He'll make it clear in his actions in black and white which it is.