I've been friends with this guy for a few years. While I will admit that it is possible that we could make a decent couple and we have gone on one date before (very awkward winter formal dance junior year of high school), it is clear that a relationship just won't happen between us, and it seems to me that we are both fine with that.
However, his mother is not. (And to be fair, mine thinks we're going to end up married someday, but that isn't really the problem.) I am at his house a lot because our circle of nerd friends finds it to be the most convenient location for gatherings. Every time I'm there his mother will pull me aside and have an odd lengthy conversation with me about my goals for the future and what kind of guy I want to marry and how many kids I want to have and what I think of the guy's name (since he is the third and his son will be the fourth) and what kind of church I was brought up in and whether I'm attracted to musicians (he's a guitarist) and odd stuff like that. Then she'll proceed to tell me to make sure he does a few certain things at different times throughout the meeting and then she'll ask me to do hostess-type stuff like taking the food out of the oven and setting the table even though I don't even live there. I always just answer politely, concisely, and honestly and just bear through her obvious suggestions that I should date, marry, and reproduce with her son with whom I share no mutual feelings beyond friendship.
Don't get me wrong, she's a very sweet lady and I would never want to do anything to upset her, but I'm not going to marry her son in order to make her happy. Plus, he doesn't even like me in that way. It's just so uncomfortable.
So, what should I do? I don't know if he knows about her conversations with me because she usually makes sure that he's out of the room before she starts talking like that. Should I tell him about it? Should I tell his mother that I have no interest in him, even though she's never outright suggested it? Should I just continue to bear with it and laugh it off?
However, his mother is not. (And to be fair, mine thinks we're going to end up married someday, but that isn't really the problem.) I am at his house a lot because our circle of nerd friends finds it to be the most convenient location for gatherings. Every time I'm there his mother will pull me aside and have an odd lengthy conversation with me about my goals for the future and what kind of guy I want to marry and how many kids I want to have and what I think of the guy's name (since he is the third and his son will be the fourth) and what kind of church I was brought up in and whether I'm attracted to musicians (he's a guitarist) and odd stuff like that. Then she'll proceed to tell me to make sure he does a few certain things at different times throughout the meeting and then she'll ask me to do hostess-type stuff like taking the food out of the oven and setting the table even though I don't even live there. I always just answer politely, concisely, and honestly and just bear through her obvious suggestions that I should date, marry, and reproduce with her son with whom I share no mutual feelings beyond friendship.
Don't get me wrong, she's a very sweet lady and I would never want to do anything to upset her, but I'm not going to marry her son in order to make her happy. Plus, he doesn't even like me in that way. It's just so uncomfortable.
So, what should I do? I don't know if he knows about her conversations with me because she usually makes sure that he's out of the room before she starts talking like that. Should I tell him about it? Should I tell his mother that I have no interest in him, even though she's never outright suggested it? Should I just continue to bear with it and laugh it off?
Most Helpful Opinions