Do people ever insult your appearance to you? Why do people do this?

[Jellyfish]

As if it is a conversation starter, people say things to me like, "you used to be fat, I can tell because of the stretch marks and loose skin." Why on Earth would anyone think that is an appropriate thing to talk about? Or someone will tell me my hair is too thin, or that I have too many freckles on my face, or that I am too tall for a woman. I feel good about the way I look, I'm not perfect, but I think there is no need to spend life obsessing over ever flaw on your body. However, it gets me down when people point out my flaws, like I must be so hideous people can't help but to mention my ugliness. I start to think I must be impossibly ugly, then I see the general public and remember people come in all shapes and sizes and full of flaws. I wonder if they have people in their life pointing out their flaws. My question is do other people experience random people pointing out their physical flaws on a regular basis, and also does anyone know why people say such things?

Updates

+1 y

I realize now that the person that made the rude comment about me having 'loose skin and stretch marks" was trying to make me feel bad about myself so he could swoop in and make his move. He thought if I felt bad enough about myself, I might go for him.

[May1987]

Well I'm Chinese and if you're ever in a traditional Chinese family, then you'll know that all the girls are size zeros or 1s. I am a perfectly normal size 10 with boobs and ass and totally fine with my body, but during any family get together I always get "you're so fat" from my aunts or cousins. It doesn't bother me because I think they're all just gossipy bitches with nothing better to do. It makes me a stronger person even because I can take criticisms better than other people.

Another reason is, I think sometimes they're jealous. Who knows, maybe the size 0s want to be a size 10 with some boobs and ass. I notice these "fat" criticisms always come from the females, never from the males. My uncle made it a point at one time to say that women look much better with some meat on their bones and that really shut up the people who were attacking me. Anyway, my guess is, they're jealous or they're immature and insecure about themselves. Just tell them to piss off.

[Yurippe]

Really good point!

[islandcutie]

Yes! My hair used to be light brown and I died it jet black. I loved it so much until this old guy in my neighborhood I've never talked to in my life comes up to me and says "did you die your hair?" I said yeah and he said " I don't like it. You should die it back, the way you had it before made you look so much more alive." It was so rude! So yes, random people in my life do point out my flaws sometimes. I think the reason people even say things like that is to make themselves feel better about themselves.

[Jellyfish]

Hehe! I dyed my hair red in high school, just for kicks, and I had an elderly teacher pretty much say the same thing!

[islandcutie]

Seriousoly, like who are you Mr. Balding old guy with grey hair, to tell me my hair is bad?

[Jellyfish]

HA! This guy had only some gray scraps too! They must be jealous they cannot dye the beautiful long locks we have.

[Yurippe]

It was rude to tell you she didn't like your hair, but maybe she was just clumsily giving you her opinion or advice?

[BlueberryFlower]

Guys insult girls a lot of the time to make their move. I constantly get told I'm ugly and this is seen as a way for them to then comfort me and try to get with me. Does not work. Do not fret... I also have stretch marks from when I was younger. People are mean for no reason!

[Yurippe]

So is that way guys at school always told me I was ugly?

[Anonymous]

Yes. My mother and my classmates. Unfortunately it still affects me today.

I don't know why were mean and cruel to each other. I think we just don't realize it.

But then again if Joseph Merrick, The Elephant Man, can go on, so we can.

[ethomsom2]

Mother? That sucks that even the closest person to you would say those things

[Anonymous]

Sometimes, people might mention something about your appearance that you think is a flaw, but they don't.

I've asked people about scars before, because I don't find them ugly and I am curious about how they happened.

[Jellyfish]

Well I wouldn't ask a girl how she got her stretch marks, just to warn you.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha, ok, thanks.

[Baisez-Alana]

People don't do it to me

Only rude b*tches who are insecure do it

If someone is gonna point out MY flaws they better

damn well be perfect .. I HATE people like that

Those lame a*ses who do that need to get a life

nd don't waste ur time with them, by insulting you that just

means they've got low self esteem nd are ignorant

[Jellyfish]

I like your moxy

[Reeses-pieces777]

WTF? I would call them out on that, I would be like 'bitch, you listen to me, at least my face doesn't look like a f***ed up chick on drugs lol' or I'll say something about their mom?

who cares? if someone says some sh*t about me I'll give it back to them a hundred fold. lol I'm crazy that way.

[ekkks]

people are always gonna say things about you to knock you off your high, don't sweat it. I don't think other people's opinions matter. as for guys saying things like that, well, they aren't worth the trouble. if a guy likes you he'll say you're beautiful no matter what. that's how my boyfriend is, even when I look my worst.

[salsachik]

I don't get it on a regular basis, but I once had a guy come up to me at work and insult everything from my choice of glasses (told me that the frames didn't flatter my face and I should get new ones), my shirt and sweater combo (he didn't think pink and red went together), to my acne (asked me if I was trying to match my zits when I picked out the pink and red). He then proceeded to ask me out to dinner.

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[Anonymous]

i think the whole you used to be fat because you've got stretch mark it a bit bitter. I mean I've got a couple and I got them when I was stick skinny, I must have gained like 1 kg and they appeared. yet now I'm skinny but not stick skinny and I havn't gotten any new one's. so it depends on your body at the time.

[Jellyfish]

Most every girl has them, they are just from growing. I think it is rude to point them out though, because I've not met a girl that wasn't a bit embarrassed by them.

[Anonymous]

Yeah that happened to me a couple times in high school. More than I'd care to remember actually. I remember 1 main guy who used to do that got some middle school girl pregnant after we graduated so yeah..he's not doing too well haha. People who are negative and mean like that are not even worth the breath they use to say those things. Don't let losers like that affect your self esteem. They are not perfect either.

[StaticDan]

I think that its a bit stupid that people must have to insult...Its not like that their the most attractive person in the world. And I mean, Fuck the outside, Its the inside that counts. And people that can't see that must be SO shallow.

[stevo]

They're got nothing better to do and they're taking out any frustrations they may have on you. It's easier that way because they can forget about their own problems for just a little bit. I'd shrug it off.

[katiegal]

The answer is simple-those people are simply unintelligent and stupid :D Don't worry about it even.If you like yourself,then y to worry about other ppl's opinion?

[Jellyfish]

I just wonder why people think it's appropriate. Even the best of us feel a punch in the stomach when we are insulted.

[katiegal]

Yes,but that's what makes us stronger,u know,it's real life,some people do and say rude and mean things-cos of stupidity or jelousy,or whatewer the reason is.We should learn how to ignore.

[Jellyfish]

I agree!

[irish-girl-08]

becaue ther f***ing ejets

i always got attacked on my looks and you know what hun you gotta say ...(hate to be non lady like) but just tell them to f*** off and worry about there own apperance

[jessm2871]

Occasionally I've had people point out my physical flaws and it always takes me off guard because I don't understand why they would ever think that was ok for them to say. It's so rude! I think that people do it though because they are insecure with themselves and feel better when they can find flaws with other people.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I'm far from ugly but guys conjure in their head what they want a female to look like. I get comments that I thought you had a fat butt because it looks that way but you really dont. Crazy thing is I thought they had a fat penis but I didn't go there until they felt the need to act like they were flawless.

[TheDot]

I know what you mean, maybe they're trying to give you a compliment but aren't quite sure how to do so?

Don't take it to heart =]

I've had random people come up to me and tell me stuff like "Wow, you're ass is HUGE!' [not as a compliment lol]

[yasie_xoxo17]

chances are they are just trying

to hide their insecurities and flaws by

pointing out yours. its quite pathetic really.

just ignore them.

[Anonymous]

because they are projecting their own feelings onto you

[Anonymous]

yea. I just ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I hate when they do.