She wants to take it slow but is calling me every day?? Confused?

[sammy1988]

I met a girl a couple weeks ago, she fell pretty hard and so did I. We've hung out like 4-5 times in these two weeks and text each other every day. At a party I was drunk and told her I liked her. She told me she's glad we're on the same page but it's something we should talk about later.

Two days later she asks me out to lunch. I go with her and we talk and the subject of the party comes up. She told me it was sweet what I did, and that she's interested in me, but she wants to take things slow. She said she got out of a bad relationship three months ago and she's inexperienced, plus she's going to med school next semester and is worried I might find a new girl. I told her she's worrying too much and agreed we should just go with the flow.

But ever since and ever before that talk, she's been texting me every day, calling me and asking me to hang out. Last night she asked me to go to a comedy club with her and I said no because I had to work. Point is, she's calling every day and wants to hang out like every day...

I don't know what is going on here, she says take it slow but she acts like she wants to rush into something with me. Maybe she's trying to tell that to herself, that she should take it slow? But she might want me... I don't know because I'm kind of inexperienced myself in these things. Help?

[liquidlithium]

That, I think, is pretty much exactly that. Her head is telling her the smart thing to do would be to take it slow, but her heart wants to jump into things with you because it feels right.

She's obviously really into you, but I have to say, the fact that she stated that she wanted to take it slow, means she's obviously still conflicted, most likely because of her ex.

Whether its because she still has some feeling for him, or she's not over what happened, there's something on her mind still that's telling her to hold back.

In situations like that, someone has to set the pace, and in this case it obviously has to be you, for your own good. You don't want to turn out to be some rebound thing, which in this case if you jump into things with her right now that's exactly what you will turn out to be.

My advice to you would be to keep talking to her obviously, but still take things slow, even IF she's making advances that contradicts that. She knows in her heart that even though you attract her and that it must feel good to be around you, that something is still telling her to hold back.

She's obviously damaged from her last relationship and seems to be looking for someone to fill that void. When a woman is in that place in her life it doesn't matter who the guy is, he could be great, he could be an asshole, but she'll chase him just to have that person there to take the place of the one that left.

So, basically you have to listen to your gut, you will know when she will be ready for anything more then casual dating. Also one thing most people do these days is hold everything back, and their not honest with other people or themselves. The best way to know where she's at with her heart and her head is to simply just ask, but of course, she has to be honest with you as well.

[HisPrincess]

Maybe when she's says she wants to "take it slow" she just means physically taking the relationship slow. I know a lot of girls that really like to get to know a guy well before they get physically involved with a guy which could be why she keeps texting you and asking you to hang out. A lot of girls tend to believe that forming a solid friendship with a guy before getting serious with him builds solid ground for a lasting relationship. She obviously really likes you and I think she's probably just kind of scared of getting hurt or you finding someone "better" and forgetting all about her. She obviously thinks a lot of you and for the time being you should just bask in the glory of it all. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

She's still afraid to get hurt so she said to take it slow. She really likes you unless she won't ask you out etc. The question is, are you okay with that or are you bothered with her calling you everyday? Well anyway you say not too worry about past right and other stuff and just go with the flow?! Well I think, she's stepping her fear up in this case and go with her flow in order to get to know you better.

[calgirl]

Yeah I think right now, by contacting you/hanging out with you a lot she wants to see if she can trust you and connect with you on an emotional level before the physical level. We girls need that sorta thing ;)

[anonymos]

Ok my opinion is that she means slow in terms of sex. So she's probably just trying to get to know you really well and hang out with you on a platonic level until you have a deeper connection. She sounds like she's looking for a relationship.