What do I do if I don't trust my boyfriends friends?

[Anonymous]

Here's the situation, I recently got back together with an ex. We get along wonderfully. But his friends are another story. There's some I'm really cool with but others that I don't trust at all. One once stole one of my sweaters and about a hundred dollars from me. That ones not around often but still when she is, I get paranoid. This same girl has also stolen from my boyfriend but he won't cut ties with her. A lot of his friends have a history of stealing.

anyway, I've been staying with him a lot which means my stuff always end up at his place, and the fact that he usually has a friend or something around just has me worried.

i know, it's just stuff, but that's not the point.

i tried mentioning all of this to him but he thinks I'm being over dramatic.

we've also talked about eventually getting an apartment together, but my main reason for not ever wanting to do that is the same as above - his friends.

[xxBlondeBabyxx1]

Then hide all of your stuff. Like if you leave a pair of jeans and a hoodie over there. Hide them in a place that not even he can hide them. Or you could always remember to bring your stuff home with you. Being that you are his girlfriend. He should tell his friends to leave your stuff alone. And if you do get an apartment together. What's gunna happen? Just get locks on your doors. And when his friends are coming over, lock them. So that you will be with them at all times. Giving them no chance to steal a thing. Like if he tells you that his 1 friend is coming over. Lock the bedrooms, the bathrooms, and any rooms except for the living room ( with the t. V in it ) that way. If they need to go to the bathroom you can either say out bathroom isn't working but there's one down the hall ( if your in an apartment ) or you could say: well ill unlock it really fast. But hurry up. Then lock it back up. And don't let them wear hoodies! Plus no big pocket jeans. So tell them : wear shorts and a nice tee-shirt. Or make them change if they aren't.

it sounds like this would make you the rude girlfriend. So you could also just say that nobody is aloud over the house until they gain my trust and just make your boyfriend hang out at their place.

[Lesae]

I would keep your stuff in his room or something. I could not date a guy who hung out with thieves. You are the company that you keep. You are not being over dramatic. He should have confronted the girl. I would not move in with the guy as long as they are friends. You might come home to an empty apartment one day.

[sexwiseman]

Just for kicks--why don't you go to the thrift shop, get some expensive jeans, put some nice skin irritant on it (poison ivy? ). :p

actually, you could just get the jeans, tell the bf, hey I'm leaving my jeans here, and then see if they disappear; when they do, you can tell the bf---see, I'm not paranoid.

by the way---what about getting another boyfriend that has better friends? After all, we are the company we keep sometimes :p

[Asker]

Haha! Perhaps. I'm liking that poison ivy idea!

the boy knows his friends steal. The one girl wasn't allowed in his house for about a year awhile back after she stole things from his family. He just refuses to cut ties with her. Blah

[oftenconfused]

Unfortunately guys come as a pack edge deal where you technically also are dating his friends also, so there is a simple short term solution if you relay like him but don't want your stuff taken don't leave any thing there. As for the long term you could all wise ask that certain friends not be at your apartment when you are not there might sound a little far fetched and maybe a little extreme but that is just what I would do.