I'm a heterosexual male, but often take notice of this around the bars, and within the general public. It seems that the amount of males playing women has sky rocketed. Understandably that people in general mature, or change throughout life, but after studying a few years of psychology, and sociology. It's become apparent that a higher percentage of males are now classified as (Players), or one who misguide women into sleeping with them, or misleading them into a situation that is untrue.
Has anyone else seen this within the last year? I've read a study a few months back. That had studied men over the last 40 years, and how they would approach women as a whole. The study continued to show that the percentage of male subjects have now gone up to around 60 to even70 percent of males being generalized as players. Usually it drops off at the age of 26 to 28, but I can't believe that 30% of men are the only ones considered to be Gentlemen per-say.
I have noticed that. And it is because you can't approach the average woman at the club anymore and just tell them what's on your mind and what you would like to do. For example. "Hi I noticed you from over there and I was wondering if I could get to know you. Maybe give you my number and we could go out some time." Would get the guy laughed out of the club today.
My friend calls the current phenomenon "Selling a dream" Because that's all they will buy. I was having this same conversation with my sister. And I told her straight up. no one goes to the club to find their soul mate. And if they do, they are a fool.
But I have to say it works both ways,
The club scene is like a game The girls are trying to trick the guys into buying them drinks. And the guys are trying to... Well you know. And the victor is whoever gets what they want by the end of the night. Or by morning.
I don't really go to clubs anymore. unless I actually go with someone. because you can't get to know someone in a club. Aside from the music blaring and the alcohol being thrown back. People lie. Plain and simple. The club scene is worst that teenagers on the internet...
which is why internet dating is becoming more common place. You have to find a place where genuine people go to meet other genuine people. Million dollar idea? the club scene is a place to go hook up.
Why has the number of male players gone up over the last few years?
Probably because most guys want to be players and can be players with PUA and sex outside of relationships being common. I think it's simply a combination of guys having the knowledge and environment to do as they desire as I don't see most male fantasies, paradises, p*rn, or envied lifestyles about a committed monogamous relationship rather it's about f*cking lots of young attractive gals.
Has anyone else seen this within the last year?
I have seen being quite a bit of players who use PUA tactics.
I feel this trend may be due to how society is changing. We are becoming very materialistic, always going after the newest, hottest thing, which I believe is transfering into our relationships. As soon as a guy(the player) feels that his new girlfriend is old(been together a long time and not attracted as much as before) they want to upgrade, or trade them in for the newest girl who has caught their eye. which is bad for woman who want a real relationship. Women can be this way as well not just men.
It's the fake men for fake women epidemic. Players are idealistic - Gentlemen are realistic. A Player wants a woman to fit into the role he has created in his mind for her - A Gentleman does not try to change a woman he is interested in to suit any idealisms he may have, instead he takes the realistic approach and accepts that no one is perfect.
I feel like most men in their late teens and early 20s are either players or betas crying a river about being in the "friend zone". I know that there's a substantial amount of great guys, though, especially since I'm dating a good one. Also, the amount of players does drop exponentially in the late 20s/early 30s because it hits them that they should settle down and have a reliable, lifelong companion and raise a family.
I have seen this too but also vice versa. There isn't love now a days just sex for both parties. This is why I am single now because my ex boyfriend started going out and he never gave me the respect of being his girlfriend. He rather let another girl flirt with him. It seemed as he liked the attention. I don't know why he changed but he did and also coworkers who are married are the same way now.
Most men want sex. Period. They don't want to be tied down in a relationship and they want all the benefits they can get as if they were in a relationship, but really all he's doing is banging the woman for free. But hey, I don't blame them, women contribute a lot to this, and they STILL let men treat them like sh*t. If anything, women need to stop letting themselves go so easily and have more self respect and guys need to stop having the mindset of pure ignorance that fulfill the wannabe "tough" exterior, "I get more ass then you" persona.
Our society is going crazy honestly. Most girls are just disrespecting themselves and boys will see that and take that advantage. Most boys just don't care and are being judged of how many girls they had sex with and are trying to get with so many. That's just my opinion.
I'd say simply because more women are down for casual sex. Men didn't have the opportunity to play in the past because they had to put a ring on it first for 90% of women. Now, things have a changed a bit, and I don't necessarily think it's a bad think. I'd personally want to sleep with a man first before we got married. The pendulum just sometimes swings too far, but I believe we'll eventually come to a happy medium. In the meantime, more girls will be hurt, and more guys will suffer the consequences of that hurt later. They'll all be cleaning up the messes they made for each other. So we all end up suffering.
A lot of men have this idea that if they treat women poorly or act like they don't care in general, women will be all over them. What they don't realize is GIRLS will be all over them. Real women worthy of mature relationships, will think of these men as silly and immature.
If men want girls and meaningless sex, then that's the way to go. If men want women and real relationships, then they'll treat women well and be a gentleman.
Yes there are more and more men that are players or, at least, aim to be so. I think it has to do with women sexual emancipation and the fact that masculinity is more and more tied to the number of women a man can get. This and also the sexualization of society, putting less and less emphasis on family values play a huge part in making men more likely to be players than ever.
Media and society as a whole has become more sexualized and much less committment oriented. I definitely feel this has contributed to the male population's lack of chivalry. Gentlemanly behavior has become almost old-fashioned in today's world.
Definitely true. I don't know about the exact stats but I am approaching 40 started dating again recently and it has definitely climbed. Even men my age are acting like that. Some are divorced and want to 'play' women again before they settle down again or never settled down. I don't have a problem with it per se but the lying to people and misleading people I have a problem with. Nobody should play with someone else's emotions.
The idea that '70% if men are players' is a joke. Also I would disagree that players are about 'misguiding' women into sleeping with them. If anything that's less true then it ever was in the past. Once upon a time the majority f women only had sex with guys they thought wanted a commitment, and lying was how 'players' got sex. Now huge numbers if women want casual sex. Mentioning commitments or relationships actually makes those women NOT have sex. Te modern player is much more about creating a 'this is just fun and we both want it and are mature and cool and can enjoy sex' vibe.
Are more guys players (ie guys who attempt to base attracting women in what appears to be successful) more common? Yes. The word is slowly getting out.
In my book a player is not a bad thing. If you have women who don't want a relationship then its OK to have sex with them. Also if they give up sex on the first date or later during date then they are not girlfriend material. For me to have a girlfriend she would have to make me wait for sex and have something going on in her life. untill I find that I will play the player role cause last week I mess around with this milf and every since then she has been hitting my phone up saying good morning and all. and am like huhh how werid chill out you have two kids and am like 22 lol
Guys that have little or no experience with women are indeed looking into the whole pua advice area which does have its good point and insights. My only real problem with the pua community is the outrageous prices they put on their "bootcamps" for a weekend and how complex (complete with diagrams) some pua's make it. I've seen up to $2500 being charged by some; shame on them.
they're all women go for. being the good guy gets old and frustrating.
the media also contributed to the rise of players. all the half-minded guys that fall for that stuff started using "bro-speak" to show off their social prowess to the half-minded girls out there. everything's like a bad MTV reality show out there now.
it makes me sick. but you either have to adapt with the times or get left behind.
I've actually read this same thing, just on a blog about a guy who teaches game. He said over the last couple of years, more and more guys have been wanting to learn game just to do it, not to snag a girlfriend or wife.
Honestly? I think guys are just getting smarter. They learn game, they learn how easy it can be if you actually do it right, and decide to go get there fun. That, and with the divorce statistics along with rates of child custody and alimony, marriage is a very risky proposition, financially. According to *Focus on the Family*, amid even people religious enough to go to church every week, divorce is 38%.
That's, even as a cherry-picked subgroup to look lower, is an awful high chance you'll go through a miserable, heart-rending soul-crushing financially-devastating thing called divorce.
And... it's a huge ego boost to those that do it. Constant pickups. It's the male version of being the hot cheerleader who can get any guy at school--so who are you or me to say they don't get to have *their* fun turn? lol.
That's because the stereo typical "slipper" or "slut" or any one of them label's has also skyrocketed and then the guys don't know how to be nice to a girl because guys (in teens) don't know how to treat them they play them (I would say I'm a nice who wants the best for his Girlfriend but I'm not sure if I'm a player or gentle man probably somewhere in the middle) and anyway they correspond the more girls who sleep around there are the more players and the more players the more girls who sleep around, its a cycle and it needs to be broken but its 50% guys and 50% girls and it is hard to stop because its about popularity in most cases "if you haven't had sex at 15 your a no body" is what its like in my school (I haven't but hey I wouldn't pressure a girl into it) so yeah its because guys have sex and then dump the girl, but more girls spread their legs and so the guys think they can get away with it.