Why has the number of male players gone up over the last few years?

I'm a heterosexual male, but often take notice of this around the bars, and within the general public. It seems that the amount of males playing women has sky rocketed. Understandably that people in general mature, or change throughout life, but after studying a few years of psychology, and sociology. It's become apparent that a higher percentage of males are now classified as (Players), or one who misguide women into sleeping with them, or misleading them into a situation that is untrue.

Has anyone else seen this within the last year? I've read a study a few months back. That had studied men over the last 40 years, and how they would approach women as a whole. The study continued to show that the percentage of male subjects have now gone up to around 60 to even70 percent of males being generalized as players. Usually it drops off at the age of 26 to 28, but I can't believe that 30% of men are the only ones considered to be Gentlemen per-say.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have noticed that. And it is because you can't approach the average woman at the club anymore and just tell them what's on your mind and what you would like to do. For example. "Hi I noticed you from over there and I was wondering if I could get to know you. Maybe give you my number and we could go out some time." Would get the guy laughed out of the club today.

    My friend calls the current phenomenon "Selling a dream" Because that's all they will buy. I was having this same conversation with my sister. And I told her straight up. no one goes to the club to find their soul mate. And if they do, they are a fool.

    But I have to say it works both ways,

    The club scene is like a game The girls are trying to trick the guys into buying them drinks. And the guys are trying to... Well you know. And the victor is whoever gets what they want by the end of the night. Or by morning.

    I don't really go to clubs anymore. unless I actually go with someone. because you can't get to know someone in a club. Aside from the music blaring and the alcohol being thrown back. People lie. Plain and simple. The club scene is worst that teenagers on the internet...

    which is why internet dating is becoming more common place. You have to find a place where genuine people go to meet other genuine people. Million dollar idea? the club scene is a place to go hook up.

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    • Thanks for your advice, and I will completely with you on every level of your interpretation on discussing today's male and female agenda. Life has sure changed from when our parents grew, and I am with you on the idea to stay away from meeting girls at bars. I've not yet once met a girl at a bar who has not at least once tried to hook-up at a later date, or time.

    • it was so much easier when the adults forced you to marry someone. No lie. No misleads. No trickery. Just two people being forced to live under the same roof. Sad that that sounds better than people meeting and trying to take advantage of each other...

What Girls Said 23

  • Why has the number of male players gone up over the last few years?

    Probably because most guys want to be players and can be players with PUA and sex outside of relationships being common. I think it's simply a combination of guys having the knowledge and environment to do as they desire as I don't see most male fantasies, paradises, p*rn, or envied lifestyles about a committed monogamous relationship rather it's about f*cking lots of young attractive gals.

    Has anyone else seen this within the last year?

    I have seen being quite a bit of players who use PUA tactics.

  • I feel this trend may be due to how society is changing. We are becoming very materialistic, always going after the newest, hottest thing, which I believe is transfering into our relationships. As soon as a guy(the player) feels that his new girlfriend is old(been together a long time and not attracted as much as before) they want to upgrade, or trade them in for the newest girl who has caught their eye. which is bad for woman who want a real relationship. Women can be this way as well not just men.

    • We are wired to over-reach and get better and better.

      We want better things,better health,better food,better living conditions or a better relationship.

      I won't be a hurt if my girlfriend dumps me for someone better than me.

      So I see nothing wrong in when a guy searches for someone better.

  • It's the fake men for fake women epidemic. Players are idealistic - Gentlemen are realistic. A Player wants a woman to fit into the role he has created in his mind for her - A Gentleman does not try to change a woman he is interested in to suit any idealisms he may have, instead he takes the realistic approach and accepts that no one is perfect.

  • I'm honestly not sure, but it's sad that so many guys with great potential sacrafice the good in them so that they can live up to some disgusting idea.

  • all I have to say is jersey shore. it created a new expectation for men. so unfortunate.

    • it has, but people were acting like that b4 the show aired.

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    • yup, I agree. don't know why all the down arrows,but ok.

    • It's the men who are worshiping "Jersey Shore" lol. I agree with you, and this theory. It's an addition to the situation.

  • of course it has, and women have gotten more easy over the years as well, not that there is any correlation

  • I feel like most men in their late teens and early 20s are either players or betas crying a river about being in the "friend zone". I know that there's a substantial amount of great guys, though, especially since I'm dating a good one. Also, the amount of players does drop exponentially in the late 20s/early 30s because it hits them that they should settle down and have a reliable, lifelong companion and raise a family.

    • I agree with this, and have noticed these changes as well in my group of friends that are around the ages of 28-35. I've never been one to care about being friend zoned, nor have I ever been a player, but it's just an interest of mine to study these habits at bars, and observe the environmental aspect of what we call socializing with the opposite sex lol.

    • It's fascinating to me as well. Because I'm the opposite sex I guess. I never understood the "friend zone"... Thanks for treating our friendship like a crapy consolation prize because we're nothing to you but a vagina, no ones forcing you to be my friend! lol

  • I have seen this too but also vice versa. There isn't love now a days just sex for both parties. This is why I am single now because my ex boyfriend started going out and he never gave me the respect of being his girlfriend. He rather let another girl flirt with him. It seemed as he liked the attention. I don't know why he changed but he did and also coworkers who are married are the same way now.

    • Oh dear :-( My ex actually instigated the flirting. Guess sometimes having that ego boost is more important than hurting someone else's feelings.

    • Oh wow yeah that is much worse, but that is why he is an ex. One day both will find true love. Things like this need to happen so when the right guy comes we can spot them and in the long run be happy with them.

  • I could see the increase. A lot of guys don't want to settle and women put up with it because they think the guy will settle for them. Usually, it doesn't happen. I want a gentleman, dammit. LOL

  • Well women shouldn't go to a bar if they want to be picked up by a "gentleman" because that's exactly what they're not going to find.

  • Most men want sex. Period. They don't want to be tied down in a relationship and they want all the benefits they can get as if they were in a relationship, but really all he's doing is banging the woman for free. But hey, I don't blame them, women contribute a lot to this, and they STILL let men treat them like sh*t. If anything, women need to stop letting themselves go so easily and have more self respect and guys need to stop having the mindset of pure ignorance that fulfill the wannabe "tough" exterior, "I get more ass then you" persona.

  • Our society is going crazy honestly. Most girls are just disrespecting themselves and boys will see that and take that advantage. Most boys just don't care and are being judged of how many girls they had sex with and are trying to get with so many. That's just my opinion.

  • Television.

  • I'd say simply because more women are down for casual sex. Men didn't have the opportunity to play in the past because they had to put a ring on it first for 90% of women. Now, things have a changed a bit, and I don't necessarily think it's a bad think. I'd personally want to sleep with a man first before we got married. The pendulum just sometimes swings too far, but I believe we'll eventually come to a happy medium. In the meantime, more girls will be hurt, and more guys will suffer the consequences of that hurt later. They'll all be cleaning up the messes they made for each other. So we all end up suffering.

  • Because girls let guys play them, girls nowadays are too gullible and lack self-respect. It's just getting a hooker for free by acting like a douche.. too easy and very undeserved.

  • I want a gentleman too, eve16!

    A lot of men have this idea that if they treat women poorly or act like they don't care in general, women will be all over them. What they don't realize is GIRLS will be all over them. Real women worthy of mature relationships, will think of these men as silly and immature.

    If men want girls and meaningless sex, then that's the way to go. If men want women and real relationships, then they'll treat women well and be a gentleman.

    • You're 26. So maybe you have gotten more sense, lol. But for us guys 18-24 or so, game is actually needed. Being nice and a gentlemen doesn't win girls our age over. You're better off being a cocky guy who's a bit of an ass than a "sweet guy." Not a drunk slob, but a bit of an ass. Seriously, search "Dear Females" on google and "Dear Males" you'll find it summarized. And that's sadly reality for guys my age.

    • Like I said, it's all a maturity issue.

      Real women WORTHY of relationships and women that have self-respect don't want to be with as*holes. Girls go for game. Women go for gentleman who actually treat them well and act like they care. Please don't mistake gentlemen for pushovers - there's a big difference.

  • i can't say that I've noticed an increase or decrease for guys or girls being players

  • Yes there are more and more men that are players or, at least, aim to be so. I think it has to do with women sexual emancipation and the fact that masculinity is more and more tied to the number of women a man can get. This and also the sexualization of society, putting less and less emphasis on family values play a huge part in making men more likely to be players than ever.

    • I heard a lecture from a Stanford Professor talking about it, he said it was because we as a society used to tie sex to family and values, good things for society. Now sex is alone, a fun activity. Bad consequences...

  • Media and society as a whole has become more sexualized and much less committment oriented. I definitely feel this has contributed to the male population's lack of chivalry. Gentlemanly behavior has become almost old-fashioned in today's world.

    • I have to ask, why *should* there be chivalry anymore? Men and Women are equal. Or women are better, depending on your source. Chivalry only comes from a position of strength. Not equality.

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    • chivalry is dead for good

    • There's a few keepers out there still ;)

  • I think the ability to get laid and partake in "player culture" is becoming more and more crucial in society's definition of "masculinity," especially in college-aged guys.

  • Definitely true. I don't know about the exact stats but I am approaching 40 started dating again recently and it has definitely climbed. Even men my age are acting like that. Some are divorced and want to 'play' women again before they settle down again or never settled down. I don't have a problem with it per se but the lying to people and misleading people I have a problem with. Nobody should play with someone else's emotions.

  • Because it's the trendy thing for guys to do.

    There are player support groups and clubs etc.

    I can believe it.

  • because most people don't want relationships


What Guys Said 17

  • The idea that '70% if men are players' is a joke. Also I would disagree that players are about 'misguiding' women into sleeping with them. If anything that's less true then it ever was in the past. Once upon a time the majority f women only had sex with guys they thought wanted a commitment, and lying was how 'players' got sex. Now huge numbers if women want casual sex. Mentioning commitments or relationships actually makes those women NOT have sex. Te modern player is much more about creating a 'this is just fun and we both want it and are mature and cool and can enjoy sex' vibe.

    Are more guys players (ie guys who attempt to base attracting women in what appears to be successful) more common? Yes. The word is slowly getting out.

  • The PUA community, would be my guess.

    Suddenly, a lot of guys got this thought in their heads that "If I act like a hardass and like I don't care, she'll be all over me" and it just spiraled into technique after technique from there.

  • In my book a player is not a bad thing. If you have women who don't want a relationship then its OK to have sex with them. Also if they give up sex on the first date or later during date then they are not girlfriend material. For me to have a girlfriend she would have to make me wait for sex and have something going on in her life. untill I find that I will play the player role cause last week I mess around with this milf and every since then she has been hitting my phone up saying good morning and all. and am like huhh how werid chill out you have two kids and am like 22 lol

  • Women are easier these days. I blame the media. I wish I could be a "playa" :^/

  • Guys that have little or no experience with women are indeed looking into the whole pua advice area which does have its good point and insights. My only real problem with the pua community is the outrageous prices they put on their "bootcamps" for a weekend and how complex (complete with diagrams) some pua's make it. I've seen up to $2500 being charged by some; shame on them.

  • Yeah, it's probably to do with game and all that PUA stuff hitting the mainstream.

    Plus, with women now showing the world that they can be just as promiscuous as men, it makes sense more men would capitalize on it.

  • girls love them, so this is perfect.

  • one man and one legacy


  • Female standards have gone up, and more and more guys decide they'd rather just sleep with girls instead of fill out their checklist for a relationship.

  • has it? I think it's actually the opposite: fewer male players. See modern herbivore men for instance.

    • & MGTOW. More and more guys are taking the red pill, learning about the dark side of female nature, and are manipulating it for their own gain (PUAs) or just walking away in disgust (herbivores, MGTOW).

    • I agree.

  • Because total population around the world has also increased ...

  • they're all women go for. being the good guy gets old and frustrating.

    the media also contributed to the rise of players. all the half-minded guys that fall for that stuff started using "bro-speak" to show off their social prowess to the half-minded girls out there. everything's like a bad MTV reality show out there now.

    it makes me sick. but you either have to adapt with the times or get left behind.

  • Not just that but more women are approaching guys I've been approached by more girls in the past 2 years then in my entire life (I'm 26) maybe because I've matured and look older but idk?

  • I've actually read this same thing, just on a blog about a guy who teaches game. He said over the last couple of years, more and more guys have been wanting to learn game just to do it, not to snag a girlfriend or wife.

    Honestly? I think guys are just getting smarter. They learn game, they learn how easy it can be if you actually do it right, and decide to go get there fun. That, and with the divorce statistics along with rates of child custody and alimony, marriage is a very risky proposition, financially. According to *Focus on the Family*, amid even people religious enough to go to church every week, divorce is 38%.

    That's, even as a cherry-picked subgroup to look lower, is an awful high chance you'll go through a miserable, heart-rending soul-crushing financially-devastating thing called divorce.

    And... it's a huge ego boost to those that do it. Constant pickups. It's the male version of being the hot cheerleader who can get any guy at school--so who are you or me to say they don't get to have *their* fun turn? lol.

  • Because there are so many gorgeous women & I want them all & so little time. Lifes too short to chase a woman for a year just to find out she wasn't worth it.

  • That's because the stereo typical "slipper" or "slut" or any one of them label's has also skyrocketed and then the guys don't know how to be nice to a girl because guys (in teens) don't know how to treat them they play them (I would say I'm a nice who wants the best for his Girlfriend but I'm not sure if I'm a player or gentle man probably somewhere in the middle) and anyway they correspond the more girls who sleep around there are the more players and the more players the more girls who sleep around, its a cycle and it needs to be broken but its 50% guys and 50% girls and it is hard to stop because its about popularity in most cases "if you haven't had sex at 15 your a no body" is what its like in my school (I haven't but hey I wouldn't pressure a girl into it) so yeah its because guys have sex and then dump the girl, but more girls spread their legs and so the guys think they can get away with it.

    • This is very true, and puts things into perspective. One funny thing is that women go berserk when there is a nice guy that everyone knows is a nice guy. This usually means that the guy is good looking, semi-successful, and all around gentleman, but women do seem to pickup on this. Though the spreading of the legs is quite true. Not saying that I don't like sleeping with women, but I've had to turn down a lot at bars for the right to not have to deal with the Barney Stenson effect lol.

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    • erm what? I'm still a nice guy, I try hard in all relationships to get them to last because I wouldn't initiate a relationship unless I wanted to be with the girl, I mean it just causes heart ache and pain, its just the past 5 relationships ended with the girl sleeping with another guy behind my back -.- still looking for a girl I can be with who I'm able to relate to and hold conversation with but is faithful, and I won't find that by being a jerk so +1 nice guy

    • @JoSteffi : So a stripper is not a good girl?maybe her occupation is considered bad in society.

      That doesn't make her bad.