She likes a player over me

ladies why do you guys tend to be more interested in players rather than nice guys?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Alright so lets start with the whole "nice guys" thing. There's two points to make about so called "nice guys"-

    1. Most of these self-proclaimed nice guys aren't nice guys at all. They're just as selfish, hateful, greedy and insensitive as any other guy they're just quieter or more of a push over than the other guys so they don't get the girl. "Nice Guy" is a term for one of two types of people- a push over who never makes a move (ever) and never goes out of his way to express his interest (for whatever reason) or a guy who's a douche bag but isn't as good at hiding it as that other ass hole so he just bitches and moans when he doesn't get the girl. I would never insult any of my male friends by calling them "nice guys". They're good guys, good people, great boyfriends.

    2. "Nice guys" also identify as nice guys because that's all they have to offer. "Why won't she date me, I"m nice!" well, yeah, but what else to you bring to the table? Go check out that article I wrote a while ago and you can read all about why just being a "nice guy" isn't good enough.

    Now, who you might see as a player could very well be a good person. He's your competition, all you're going to see are his faults, his mistakes. Also, lets be real, you call him a player, do you even know him on a personal level? Are you two best friends? No? Well then who are you to judge his character? You can only see the things he's done in the past, you don't know him, you don't know how he feels about her, you don't know if he'll change, or even if what you've seen is his usual behavior.

    Also, she probably picked that "player" because he'll make for a better partner than you. Now, notice how I didn't say boyfriend, or relationship- I said partner. The first thing you want is someone you can spend time with who will make you laugh, make you smile, share common interests with you. Now these "players" tend to be more outgoing, tend to share their interests and interact with girls more than most "nice guys". So we get to know them better, we end up liking them better, we see more of their positives and we see that they aren't necessarily just a "player".

    He probably has shown her that he has more to offer, simple as that. They probably have more things in common and get along better. Just because she didn't pick you doesn't make it her fault or his fault. You two clearly weren't compatible for various reasons, so go out and find a girl you do work well with and stop pointing fingers. All it does when you talk like that is make us roll our eyes and pretend to get a phone call so we can leave the conversation.

    You sound very immature and childish right now, try to fix that so next time, when you see a girl you like, you aren't hung up on these preconceptions and you'll actually have a fighting chance.


What Girls Said 8

  • ladies why do you guys tend to be more interested in players rather than nice guys?

    Probably because in my observations most nice guys are self-entitled misogynistic d*cks who think their insincere niceness will compensate for their lack of attractiveness, appeal, personality, wealth, or status.

    Pretty understandable that gals would tend to be more interested in players as players tend to be guys who excel in the areas the nice guys lack hence why they're players. Likely the nice guy would do the same if he was as hot, interesting, wealthy, or whatever factor as the player.

  • You're generalising with this question.

    Sorry that she has hurt your feelings,but all girls do not like players.Some do,some don't.But the ones that DO,always end up getting used and hurt,and they at some point decide to change things and go for nicer guys.Hopefully.

    Who she decided to choose over you is NOT your concern.All you can do is keep it moving and find someone else.

    • Arwen, I apologize for snapping at you the other day. I was not in a good mood at the time so I'm sorry about that

    • Hey Janson,

      Apology excepted.I would also like to apologize if anything I said sounded offensive...I honestly didn't mean to.I asked if you ever had a gf,simply because I don't know how old you are,and some guys here haven't been in relationships before (since some users here are in their teens),so I was honestly just trying to share knowledge.But I'm sorry if it came across as anything else. I respect you tremendously for reaching out. :)

    • yeah I understand where you're coming from. I was just being snappy. I value you as a user so apologizing was more than necessary

  • cause theyre not wimps.

  • it's not like that...

    at least in my case... I tend to friend-zone nice guys because I just see them as being nice (not like they are doing this or that for me just to show how much they want me)

    and players ... well... they are not afraid of showing that ''YEAH, I WANT YOU BABE!'' and be really forward and flirty in what they say... even when they usually find a replacement right after getting our heart...

    • I hope I've got your heart, darling, because I don't intend to let go. ;)

  • I always like nice guys. One of the things is that so many 'nice guys' are not nice at all. They convince themselves they are but are really just as bad or even worse than the players, maybe in different ways or the same ways. Another one problem is that look do matter to us and players know that where as nice guys think that personality is all that matters. Just like guys it's a combination of looks and personality for us to be attracted.

  • level of hotness

  • I've been hearing this question a lot lately. NICE GUYS DON'T MISS OUT! seriously I've been interested in nice guys before & it's me who turns out to be the one that gets pushed aside & hurt. Nice guys can be jerks too. They just never notice the girls who are ALWAYS there and do want to be with them. I was friends with a guy for TWO YEARS ..totally into him & still he would choose other girls over me & tell me he was lonely. He treated me like a d***, but was still a NICE guy..just NOT TO ME. I guess he hated me becasue I liked him Too much..who knows.


What Guys Said 6

  • Girls are attracted to confidence over almost anything else, that's why.

  • Bud, I know you're hurt and it sucks. But complaining over it doesn't do much.

    • it just gives people more ammunition to say things like "nice guys have no back bone or that they're wimps"

  • She doesn't like him because he is a player, she likes him because she finds him more attractive. This is probably why he is able to be a player.

    Don't sweat it too much, just find someone else who actually appreciates you.

    • This man gets it.

    • He does, not as often as he'd like though :P

      Seriously though, I've never understood why men assume that being nice is enough to get them any girl. How many 'nice guys' would date a very unattractive woman just because she was nice to them? Attraction is more important than being nice.

  • Flies are drawn to sh*t, not gold.

  • Instead of feeling bad or complaining about it, just do it. Start acting the same way as those "players" and "bad boys". You will have to break out of your comfort zone, possibly compromise your personal values. Do everything those guys do, regardless how you personally feel about it. Then come back and tell us how it works out.

    If you find that you are getting more girls by acting that way, then the girls here will have to either admit it to themselves or continue living in denial. Good luck with your experiment!

    • You must be convincing! Never come off like you are putting on an act for the girls.

  • Dude, you won't understand it until you try it.

    Go out, and act like a player and be a bit rude and cocky. Act like you don't give a sh*t about what a girl think, like is she leaves you're all good because you'll just call onto the next one.Then you'll get it. Girls like toughness.

    But they can't distinguish between real toughness and fake one, so just acting the part is enough to f*** them. That's just the truth. They see being nice as being weak and they hate that more than anything else. It's pathetic but try it, it'll be fun and an eye opener.

    Just act like you own the place, that's it, nothing else required. They're that stupid.